Will my mom and fiance ever reconcille?



  • I would like to know what is in store for me regarding my mom and fiance who had their 2nd falling out. the last time this happened it took 2yrs for my mom to give my fiance a second chance. my fiance has issues stemming from his childhood which was riddled with abuse and disfunction. so my man has tendency to offend, hurt people with his mouth, even when he means well. but my mom is sick of him., and she said she wont be attending the wedding. she is normally a kind forgiving person who is empathetic of others, but with him, she feels so strongly against him.



  • What I am getting from your mother is that she cannot attend your wedding and pretend to be light-hearted and pleased for you when she is not happy and is indeed worried that you will end up unhappy and regretful if you marry this man. She is unlikely to change her feelings for him until enough time has passed under the bridge to show that you are thriving as his wife.



  • thank you for your input. yes them two have had issues with each other the entire relationship. im 37 yrs old have been with my fiance for overover 4 yrs now. and living together for 3 yrs.. my fiance and i are now in counseling, because his childhood has huge impact on how he is now. which is biggest reason my mom and him dont get along. he offends her without meaning to. she is no longer accepting any apologies from him anymore. she says she is sick of him for good! the counseling is opening my eyes as to what happened to him, that explains why he is the way he is, but it doesnt justify it either. the wedding is 2yrs away, and i dont even know to plan it if i dont know if im gonna have family there. this whole situation is a disaster.



  • But actually your mother is right in that she shouldn't have to put up with anyone's abuse, even your fiance's and even for your sake.



  • yes very true. and i dont blame her for her reactions. and iv told this to my fiance. he was raised to be honest no matter what, which gets him in trouble. with many people its ok, cause it dont bother them. but with my mom its not ok. the latest incident(its a long story by the way)t that caused all this again, several people feel the things he said wasnt a big deal, and that she is blowing it out of proportion. its tough making progress with him when others say such things, he dont need encouragement lol! he has admitted to his faults and he has said this to our couples counselor. which is good first step. but he still feels like he is being harshly judged. because he dont really have too many issues with other people. i will admit there are things that can be said to others but not to my mom. so he does need to learn how to be around my mom cause there are things she is little more sensitive to. he is little sarcastic type which my mom dislikes sarcasm. im just worried that even counseling and say he learns how to communicate with others, what if my moms and his personalities just clash too much?



  • Still, the main thing is whether YOU can live with him, not your mother who doesn't have to see him all the time.



  • Sorry for taking so long to respond. Been busy with holidays. We are going to couples counseling so I pray it will help. But it breaks my heart that I can't spend time with my family and fiance together. I'm trying to plan my wedding and now I have to do that without her help and said she won't be there. I don't have a lot of close friends and not close to other relatives. My mom is my best friend.



  • Sorry for taking so long to respond. Been busy with holidays. We are going to couples counseling so I pray it will help. But it breaks my heart that I can't spend time with my family and fiance together. I'm trying to plan my wedding and now I have to do that without her help and said she won't be there. I don't have a lot of close friends and not close to other relatives. My mom is my best friend.


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