Can anyone offer a little insight please



  • recently i have met someone over the internet. this is very unlike me, i have in the past turned my nose up at that sort of thing. i have become very attached to this person in a short amount of time and have not even yet met him face to face. the problem is that we live 4 and a half hours apart. i was wondering if anyone might get any vibes or have additional insight into this situation. my birthday is 9-29-80. his is 8-12-77.



  • Your resistance to "this sort of thing" is valid. The vibe I pick up most is your worry about trusting your feelings so I am going to respond from your own concience. Your OWN belief system before you connected with this person. Connecting without knowing the other bits of info about a person is risky. We as humans despite all faults still have basic needs and qualities that are easily accepted on that level of comunication that leaves out the other aspects. You must always consider the denial possibility. People can say one thing but prove the opposite. Without being able to actually see your friend in active real life you cannot know if he or she is in denial or just plain lying. Most people do not see their faults. At heart a person can love children--think they are wonderful with kids yet be in denial and leave out examples that prove them in denial. Perspective is only one side of the truth, Someone can say they get along with their family but without seeing that how do you know? You should not put too much stock in this online connection. Connecting easily at a distance is no magical remarkable thing--in fact it so much easier than not. We all long for connection without the drama of life. Online does not test our behaviour--pick up our expressions. It is too easy. Enjoy the conversation but don't buy into thinking you know this person untill you spend actual physical time with them and see how they react and interact with people and situations. This person also is most likely going to only tell you good stuff about themselves as you would as well. Like when you first date and your on your best behaviour and intent on pleasing and being accepted. Always remember that people are rarely just good or bad (you've heard of women falling in love with prison inmates?)---they can be sweet big hearted inteligent and articulate--even talented and loving and still some dark side of them kills someone and the people who think they know them later scratch their heads in disbelief saying they never knew that side of them. What I'm saying is it's hard enough knowing someone face to face let alone getting overly attached to a faceless conversation on a computer screen. Enjoy the conversation if you wish but leave feelings of true attachment out of it--its just too dangerouse and most likely more fantasy than reality. Nothing is all or nothing. There are exceptions where someone has hooked up online and become true friends but the odds are way not in that favour. I could have just given you a psychic no on this without the reality check sermon but you know this warning yourself and needed a reminder worth repeating. Your hesitation is waranted--listen to your intuition. You are uneasy for a reason or you wouldn't have asked. Blessings

    PS--if he does offer to come to visit keep it in public.



  • yes! thank you. all of these things i have already concidered wich is why it is such a scary situation for me. and yes, i fully intend to be cautious about all in this situation. thank you so much for not telling me what i wantinted to hear but what i needed to hear. ~much love~


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