Confused...help please



  • Can't get into the details due to the sensitivity of this. My husband is saying one thing, my daughter another. My daughter's story keeps changing. They're both a lot alike and both have a tendency to lie.

    I'm caught in the middle, very confused and am trying to get to the bottom of the truth between two people who're very much a like. How do you decide what the truth is between two people who lie so easily?

    My first instinct, as a mother, is to believe my daughter, but now she's saying different things that make absolutely no sense, seems to have no empathy and actually laughed about a very serious, devastating subject that is no where near a laughing matter. I just learned some new info. today too, which has me wondering exactly what is going on.

    His birth date is 7-11-76. Her birth date is 11-13-02.



  • Your daughter is very young to have to deal with such a traumatic experience. Her behavior cannot be judged by adult standards. Erratic behavior, outbursts, etc is more the norm than you think. You would be wise to take her to see a professional who can help her sort through her feelings.



  • Thank you Watergirl, so very much. 🙂

    By you using the word traumatic, I'm hoping you're picking up on just what the trauma is and I have a sense that you are.

    She is seeing a professional...at a wonderful place that I can't speak highly enough about. I didn't even know places like this existed and am so very glad that this one does. It's like a little slice of heaven for us...that's how warm and inviting the place is and how unbelievably kind and caring these people are. The place is absolutely amazing!

    Actually soon, she'll be being seen by another place as well for a different issue. This issue deals with behaviors with her have been going on for a long time however, I would say about four yrs. or more now. That's where it makes it so hard for me to know exactly what's going on, as they were going on before what is currently happening. Right now my daughter's mental health on that aspect is a concern and this is where I get lost. As I said, my first instinct as a mother is to believe her, but when she's displaying behavior, the same behaviors in the past that didn't even pertain to this subject, I'm worried she may have some type of mental issues that have nothing at all to do with the other issue. This would not be the first time she has told a very serious lie or has made serious false allegations. Then again, as I said, my husband is infamous for lying too.

    I'm trying to get to the bottom of the truth, but I have people with their own agendas that have taken over on both sides. So I'm stuck in the middle, being pulled in two different directions by these people with their own agendas. People who don't seem to have a clue what the other hand is doing. They're all SUPPOSE to be working together. These people couldn't find their way out of an easy maze, as they're all going in different directions, which is not helping us at all and only leading to our confusion, frustration and heartache.

    Some things my daughter says makes sense, some things my husband says makes sense, some things my daughter says makes no sense, some things my husband says makes no sense. I just want to get to the bottom of the truth so I can do the most help and move forward in the best way possible and in the best interests of my child, but instead I'm stuck under the thumb of people who seem more concerned in putting notches in the belts of their careers. I feel I do have a right to know what is going on and some say so, but for the most part I'm being left in the dark. If I knew what I was up against, and my daughter is telling the truth, I can better protect her. I am her mother, I know her better than they do, how she'll react and the best way to approach things with her, they do not. Right now, as it is, all they're doing is making her miserable and they are largely at cause for this erratic behavior and these outbursts. I've stated this to them time and time again. The only people who seem to understand either of us and the only people who are sympathetic are the counselors. Everyone else, as I said, seems to just have their own agenda. I'm not interested in agendas, I'm interested in my child's well being and am wanting the truth, not a bunch of people who largely see us as a way to further their career status.

    Again, thank you so much!!