How to support scorpio male
So, I was supposed to meet that Scorpio guy for the first time after writing and skyping for 2.5 months. We met on an online dating site and it feels like soulmates…
I had a feeling this meeting might not happen since he was a bit evasive the last week, stood me up for a skype session and when I told him this was disrespectful I got no answer. He finally confessed the following when I asked him what exactly he wants and if I was only imagining this amazing connection:
- I'm falling apart and I just don't know when I can feel whole enough to face you
I had my mother here last weekends, we hadn't spoken in a year. I have a lot of issues going on with her and her un-acceptance of the political direction I follow. So I'm really in bits over that and I feel dreadful to let you down. We do have a connection but I am a fucking useless thing. -
Now I would like to know how can I show him my support without pushing him too much?
I told him it’s okay, he should not insult himself like that and that sometimes we just don't know any better on how to handle a situation. Asked about his political direction & his Mum’s. Right now he retreated to his cave, no word from him.
Anything else I can do?
I am a Virgo, Scorpio rising, Virgo venus & moon, Scorpio mars
He is a Scorpio, don’t know the rising sign, Taurus moon, Saggitarius venus, Leo mars
any advice appreciated
This is a very serious, intense guy with quite a firm grip on reality. Secrecy (and a lot of rigidity or stubbornness) is his trademark and he doesn't like to reveal much of how he is feeling or what he is thinking. He may brood for a while when things are bothering him, but he will usually bounce back fresh and more determined eventually. If you can help him lighten up when he feels down - not joking around or behaving silly, but being optimistic and helping him see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. He also needs some gentle guidance in dealing with his feelings openly and honestly rather than suppressing them. He must learn to trust other people more and communicate freely and without inhibition. He can be inconsistent in romance, as you have discovered. It can take him a long time to find 'the one' for him and, until he does, he may not be faithful to his lovers. But if his affections become fixed on YOU, he can be a model of loyalty and consideration. You will however have to be able to put up with his wild mood swings and temper, and also provide intellectual stimulation in order to have a long-lasting and deep relationship with him.
thanks a lot for that insight, this is so spot on!
he contacted me initially to explore his submissive side in the bedroom and he is taking it so serious...he wants to be in perfect condition when meeting me for the first time. He is so hard on himself sometimes.
I wrote him an ecouraging message:
"Just to let you know: I will stick around until you figured out these issues. Does not matter how long it will take until we meet, call me crazy, but I don’t want to throw this away at the first sign of trouble. Also, our first meeting does not necessarily have to follow the sub/dom rules, we could just meet as 2 people getting to know each other if you don't feel like it yet. We would get the best Falafel sandwiches in town, grab a nice bottle of wine and go to the seaside. Just sit there and let the wind & waves ease our minds.
I’ll leave you to it now. Sure you will work things out but if there is something I can do, let me know"
So now, I'll give him the space for whatever he needs to do to get back on track and let him brood in his cave. I think I just have to trust he will be back
just another small question I am curious about: do you have any idea why I keep attracting Irish guys? they seem to find me everywhere I go. I lived in Dublin for 2 years because I feel a connection with this country but I don't know why... now that I am back in my home country they even manage to find me Do these guys feel that connection?
I am sensing a past-life connection for you to Ireland where you enjoyed a short but happy life as an Irishman.
interesting...this would actually explain my love for a pint of Guinness
thanks for sharing your gift with other people
I thought I would give you an update and maybe you can share your opinion on this.
He never got back in touch, iced me out completely. I wrote 2 light off-topic emails where I recommended some music etc. to him. He reads them but never replies. My last message was this week when I told him that I did not expect the rude act of ghosting from a man like him but I am thankful for the experience with him. That he might try to communicate better with the next girl.
do you have any idea why he disappeared just like this?
I don't understand how one day he can say I am an absolute gem, wonderful woman etc. and next day just vanishes.
I find it incredibly hard to let go of this man and I wonder why that is?
I know I have to but I simply can't at the moment...
Would appreciate your insight on this
Is the attraction perhaps that he is elusive - which makes him safe or a challenge in a way? I did mention this guy suffers from wild swings of mood - he just changed his mind about you. He especially didn't like how you kept trying to contact him, he felt the pressure of it.
I guess that is the case - he just changed his mind. I'll try and find out what makes me go for elusive men in a therapy now. I really have to break and change that pattern somehow.
thanks for your thoughts about this
Well, being attracted to people who are elusive means that deep down you don't really want a commitment yourself, maybe feeling it is all too much hassle to have and maintain a long-standing relationship at all.