Going through rough time...need help



  • My husband, who I have been with for 21 yrs., is currently in jail for abusing my daughter. I went by what my daughter told me and believe her. Her story has stayed consistent. He, however, has told a few lies, which is nothing unusual for him. He claimed I said things I didn't and my daughter did things she didn't. This case will be going to court. This is a sensitive topic, so that's all the info. I can give.

    It's been a very rough rode for my daughter and I. I have bad health and it's hard to pick up the mess he left behind. Am trying to hold myself together for my daughter the best I can, as this is a very painful experience.

    I'm wondering what the future holds for me. I'm worried about myself and my daughter.



  • Gingerwaves

    Now is a time for healing for both you and your daughter. Your husband is a man that has to keep people in his life under his control and that means doing what is unheard of at times to make himself look better in his own eyes. I feel jail time for him and also he must have counseling for his mind set has to be reversed and rebalance is needed.

    I feel you will move away and divorce him and I feel your fear of him finding you so you need to talk with your social worker in regards to this matter in which I feel a female woman will be of much help for you at this time.

    I have pulled some crystals cards for you:

    Amethyst : You need spiritual healing and should consult a healer. I am going to refer you to a woman that is very good in helping people with what you are going through. Her name is Lynn Kidman and she can be found www.etsy.com Look into reiki healing circles in your community for you and your daughter both. They are done by donation in some areas

    .

    Orange Calcite: Areas in your life have been stuck for some time and now are ready to be healed.

    Fluorite: At this time please support your physical body and eat well and drink water and calming teas .

    Rose Quartz: Love -Spiritual Love States that an affair or marriage has cost you dearly.

    Chalcedony: You need assistance from others at this time along with your daughter, is your daughter fifteen? You need to move away from the community or area in which you live and you will shortly.

    You will now have to set an example for your daughter and show her how much inner strength you have and how to walk a new path, because the old one is now gone.

    I feel you have some talents you have buried inside of you and I also feel that one day you will be a speaker to help other women to go through what you are now facing and come out the other side of it a new different person.

    Your daughter seems to be shut off emotionally now as I have trouble reading her energy here.

    She will recover this ordeal and in the end it will help her to set some standards in her life where men are concerned. She is smart and I mean book smart , as I see she may become a nurse or a teacher of young children. I hear the name of Ron around her and this will be a man that is helpful to her. I see horses around her and they are the strong powerful Hillshire ones. She has more inner strength than she knows of and it is going to start to surface and she will let her spirit in which I feel is a beautiful one shine through in the next six months.

    You will be happy again and you will love again yourself, you must as life goes by so quickly that you must not waste any time on setting your mind and will toward a happier future for yourself and your daughter.

    I'm here if you need help, I will try my best to help you in a spiritual way.

    Shuabby



  • Shuabby, you hit the nail on the head in so many areas! Thank you so very much. 🙂

    Yes, my husband had a passive-aggressive way of controlling me and an aggressive way of controlling my daughter. He never had good self esteem and feel that what you said about making himself look good in his own eyes was dead on. And yes, he did quite a few unheard things.

    I think he will be facing jail time too, but was told that he could get a minimum of three yrs., maybe less, as this case has boiled down to he said/she said, as he will not cooperate. My daughter, on the other hand, and myself, have cooperated fully. Neither of us have told any lies. My husband has told lies that can be proven that they are lies. He definitely needs counseling and he definitely needs his mind set reversed and rebalanced. I'm going to push for him getting counseling, as if he gets out in three yrs., he's young enough to father more children, which scares me, as I wouldn't want another child to go through the same abuse my daughter has (or another woman having to go through what I have because of her abused child).

    I'm not sure about moving away from the area, as I don't want to leave my parents, but perhaps it's moving away from the situation or redoing my house, as he made an absolute mess of it after I got sick. That said, perhaps the house will be sold and I will be moving closer to my parents. A change of scenery sure would be nice, as my husband haunts out minds in this house because everything here reminds us of him, making it harder for us to heal. I'm redoing the house though and packing up his stuff in boxes and storing it in a spare bedroom. My daughter is moving to a different room, that I'm going to decorate nicely for her with what I have, and I'm moving all the cherished things I have to the master bedroom where my husband use to sleep (we didn't sleep together, as he snored VERY loud...I kept telling him I thought he had sleep apnea, but he wouldn't listen...sure enough, he did). In order to handle sleeping in what use to be his old room, I'm getting all of his stuff out of that room and decorating it with my stuff. Sort of shabby chic, which I love. I have red and maroon in my room, which I'm switching out with my daughter, but I'm going to add a lot of my pink things, as that's a calming color for me. I think getting this house the way we want, and neatening up all the clutter, will help us a lot. 🙂

    Somehow I've gained the strength to be able to do what I wasn't able to do before...I believe that God or higher powers are involved in giving me this strength. I've had a lot of help and blessings as well. I'm showing my daughter how to walk a more responsible path, so she grows to be a responsible adult, as she was copying a lot of my husband's bad behavior. I've written down what I expect of her and what the consequences will be. I want her to grow to be a good person - not a lying, irresponsible, hurtful, sloppy person like my husband was. I want her to have a loving home, unlike the dysfunctional home she had because of her father. You never want your kids to go through the pains you have in your life, but she did and I want to change that for her.

    Yes, I am filing for divorce. I needed a break from thinking about him and wanted to take some time to rest from that and all the running around I've had to do with appointments and responsibility for a few days, but I'm filing for divorce on Monday.

    I do have a female social worker and a female counselor. They have been wonderful.

    The cards you pulled are exactly right, but my daughter will be 13 in Nov., so you were pretty close. 🙂 And you were so right, my daughter IS closed off emotionally. She is going to a wonderful counseling center and I think she will open up and blossom once she starts going through this process. I will take your advice and consult with Lynn Kidman. I will look into reiki healing circles for us too...hopefully there is something like that in this area, as I kinda live in the sticks, lol! Thank you so very much for the info. 🙂

    I do have talents buried inside of me...some I've kept bottled up due to my health issues. I'm wanting to get back into art again, as much as my body will let me, as I have RA, Fibromyalgia and a bad back, to name a few. Not to brag, but I use to be so good at art. They say practice makes perfect and with my talent I was very happy where I was artistically. I really miss it. I love crafts too, something I've also not been doing and would really like to get back into it. I would love to be a speaker to help other women get through this. I'm going to be going to group counseling with other mothers who've been through the same as I have. Maybe that will be my jump start.

    I will keep an ear out for the name Ron for my daughter. Wow, Hillshire horses! Sorry, I'm a complete horse nut, lol! I did want to get her into riding lessons. I think that may help her recovery too. Maybe she'll go somewhere where they have them. That would be wonderful. They say that lighter riders are best for draft horses due to the make-up of their backs...that would be perfect for her. They're also gentle creatures.

    I believe my daughter has more inner strength than she realizes too and I welcome the day she comes to that realization. She is very book smart...she loves to read as well. This child can devour a book in no time, lol! She is a lot more intelligent than she thinks, but I think without my husband's constant belittling her, she'll come to realize that. Oh and she does want to become a teacher! I'm sure with the counseling center we're going to, once she breaks through all she's been through, she will let her spirit in, and yes, it's a beautiful one, and it will shine through too.

    Glad to hear that I will be happy and love again. I'm 46 and have been with my husband for 21 yrs., so that will be something new to me. I want an honest, loving, responsible man...no more men that are not good for me or children. I've been quite unlucky in love, always ending up with men who seem very sweet and caring at first, until later in the relationship when their true colors come through and it's like they go from being someone I can truly love and respect, to abusive, controlling, lying, cheating, you name it. It's like the beginning with them is a facade just to lure me in. I don't want anymore men in my life like that at all.

    Thank you so very much Shuabby...lots and lots of thanks to for this. You've made me smile all through my writing this. Big, big hugs to you!

    Tammy



  • Dear Tammy,

    While reading your response :

    I do have talents buried inside of me...some I've kept bottled up due to my health issues. I'm wanting to get back into art again, as much as my body will let me, as I have RA, Fibromyalgia and a bad back, to name a few. Not to brag, but I use to be so good at art. They say practice makes perfect and with my talent I was very happy where I was artistically.

    I would like for you to go to www.OmegaXL.com and listen and read the information and make an informed decision for yourself in regards to your health.

    I am so glad that you are already changing your mind set and life and moving forward.

    You and your daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Shuabby



  • Thank you so very much Shuabby...I really appreciate your help and your prayers. ❤ 🙂