PLEASE Can Someone HELP me understand PLEASE



  • My Husband of 22 years has decided we are over. Granted it hasnt been happy for several years but I dont understand this sudden and absolute break.

    I am not happy but I dont want to lose him. I just want him to love me and want me.

    He shows no emotion not even a little saddness and that hurts even more , after 22 years there should be a little something other than excitement right?

    I need to know if he has met someone else or is it the thought of another? Or is he just done with me?

    Is it really over or will he realize soon he does love me?

    Please help, even if the answers are hurtful atleast I can find some peace in knowing what is happening !

    I feel like I cant breathe !

    Please help

    Thank you



  • Can you give both your dates of birth, please?



  • me October 13 1974

    he July 16 1973



  • With this comes the lose of my home , where do I go? What is behind this? Also sensing deceit all around me from him , my kids his family.. what dont i know?

    again please > is this about another woman he has met already or hopes to meet soon?

    How does this end and when. I am so hurt and so scared .. please any answers nomatter how hurtful they maybe..

    thank you thank you thank you



  • If there was any romance or love in this relationship, it left long ago. Not enough was done by either of you to keep the marriage alive. Your husband wants what he has always wanted - an environment/home in which to feel safe, protected, cared for, and doted on, a place where he feels he truly belongs. He no longer feels that with you - he wants to be nurtured and protected and loved. Things simply could not have gone on as they were. You were clinging to your marriage, not for love but for security and fear of being alone, and you were both cheating yourselves. The relationship was held together by practical considerations. But personal differences can no longer be ignored. You two are more often in conflict than harmony with each other. The marriage was of the more practical and socially ambitious type. Financially and socially, it may have been successful, but not romantically. In that way, it was doomed to fail. If you weren't so scared for your future, you would understand all this. It's time for you to have a new start. You have been just getting by for years and you deserve to give yourself a better happier life. I don't feel you and your husband will even be able to remain as friends once it's over but you can make the divorce amicable and simple. Now it's up to you to carve out the best and fairest divorce deal for yourself. It doesn't matter why this has happened - it just matters that it is time to move on. Once you accept that and move past the emotional hurt to become practical and realistic, life will get a lot easier. The two of you both deserve to have real love in your lives. Starting over is scary but you will likely end up better off in the end for the change.



  • you are right in almost everything you say. But it really does matter to me what is behind this sudden split , even if it is a good thing i still need to understand why now why like this. I cant find closure or peace without understanding it.

    Please can you tell me what is behind this? Is it someone else ? something empowered him and the way he did this is so cruel.

    also can you tell me anything about the deciet i feel surrounded by , from him my kids and possibly his family as well?

    Again thank you. I just hope your right and i will find peace soon ... its pure agony and empty type feeling that just feels like hopeless ...



  • It is your fear and self-mistrust that is causing you to become paranoid. It's easier to blame other people than to face the fact that you didn't try hard enough to save the relationship. Your husband merely came to the conclusion before you did that neither of you could go on being miserable. Eventually you would have reached the same conclusion - in fact it was at the back of your mind all the time. You knew things had to change but couldn't face it consciously. This is not a cruel thing but something necessary that will benefit everyone in the long run. You must face it this way.



  • keikeillm

    I understand your feelings at this time and I feel your husband is not leaving you for another woman. He is leaving you because he has come to the point of knowing that it is time for both of you to move on. You are scare now and I feel you will stay with a female friend for a short time until your emotions settle , than you will begin to go through the healing stages, fear anger, acceptance, moving forward with your life. In a year from now you will not be the same person you are today, you will be stronger and feel that the life choices you will make will be more suited to your inner needs and yes there is another man in the wings for you and he will appear when you are ready for him. He seems to have worn a uniform in his life work like a pilot in the air force. He is of a good nature and Harold is a name that comes in around him as his or a good friend of his. You will begin to enjoy your life again and I feel you will go places and do things that you never thought you would. Your children will be happy for you and want to be around you again. You will make new friends and Josephine is a name I am receiving that will be a good friend for you, Mary, and there is the name of John and Finney. The state of AZ comes in around you here also, I don't know where you live , but AZ will play a role in your life. Travel is in store for you, so look forward to that new way of living and get a new pair of shoes and when you are ready, put them on and start walking into a future that will bring you blessings and joy to share.

    Shuabby