Need some clarity please - Shuabby, Captain, anyone



  • My sister has been in a long distance relationship for over 10 years.

    I believe that he is her soul mate but for various reasons (mostly on his side), they have not been able to get together.

    In the last few years, she has been conversing with someone on social media who appears to have clairvoyant gifts. Not unlike the way I seek advice here on the forum. Except that this person tells her very specific things, auspicious dates/times, things she must or must not do etc, how our family's past lives have left us with bad karma etc. I have no doubt that this lady knows stuff, but some things feed on my sister's fears, and I am uncomfortable that she has allowed herself to believe everything she is being told.

    We have not had it easy at all. And I know she's sick of struggling. But it's almost as if she sees this person's advice as leading to a guaranteed path. She has been convinced to do this one final thing - a remedy that will get rid of struggle forever - and 'lift the curse', so to speak. So she will be restored, renewed and happy, and everyone around her will benefit.

    Obviously, I have different beliefs. My own life is less than ideal and I have struggled too - but I have been learning bit by bit to trust the Universe and the process. I have moments of weakness, doubt, frustration and depression - but for the most part, I still do trust things will work out somehow. Because of that, I no longer feel as beholden by external circumstances.

    I wish she would trust in life in working out, and in the wonder of discovering each chapter. Of allowing time for her own evolution (to understand that the struggles aid in soul growth and resilience too). And truly honoring her instincts - aside from what others say (including me).

    Even if we are not 'soul-mates', I have learnt so much talking/listening to sister about our lives/experiences.

    I told her that she must follow her own instincts - that I will still stand by her, even if I disagree with the methods or beliefs. I know what it's like being judged, and misunderstood - so I don't want to do that to others. But I do fear for her. I just don't know what i can do for myself - to soothe this ill feeling? I'm always in 2 states, one where I support her and her right to do as she must, and the other - where I also intensely distrust the advice/methods and this person. What can I do for her?



  • Dancer



  • Dancer,

    Go to rating for this psychic that your sister is in trusting and check her out. Your sister is taking the easy way out and allowing someone else to make decisions for her, she needs to take stock of her life and know that she has a destiny and it will be fulfilled in the manner in which it is to BE.

    Psychics are to be consulted to gain guidance , like a road map that you look at for a trip you are taking. There are detours in life and you have to make the decision with your own free will as to what direction you will take.

    Your sister may need to find a spiritual church in her area. She lacks confidence to believe in herself and her own power to guide her life from her own intuition and heart felt senses.

    I am a reader and I do not allow people to let me be their source of every life decision to be made in their lives. That would be a violation of my own belief system and really not helpful to the person being read.

    Shuabby



  • Hi Shuabby,

    Thanks for replying 🙂

    I don't think the psychic does paid readings. She just reached out to my sister on FB and they have been chatting for years. Not everything she predicted happened (because things change based on people's choices) but I know she is legit because I reached out to her once and she knew things about me. Quite creepy. But I felt uncomfortable (and still do feel this way) with following specific steps to get to a certain outcome. It just leaves no room for free will, imagination, instincts and evolution.

    It is not my intention to discredit the psychic. I think that it is quite 'normal' in some parts of the world where people consult astrologers/soothsayers to find remedies to bad luck/past life karma/unfortunate placements on the birth chart. And this psychic had in fact advised my sister to go back to church etc - and she did. But all the rest of the advice just leaves me skeptical.

    To me, my sister a strong, lovely person. I've always believed she would find her happiness - no doubt about that.

    I think this man that she loves is a really good person - a good match for my sister -but it may be that it is not their time, in this lifetime, to come together. That he has things he needs to do and learn on his own - same as she. I feel that had it not been for the predictions she was told over the years - she might have (to her benefit) moved on already.

    And now - conveniently - she has been told there is a remedy that will allow her to let go of the bond with him - so that she will be 'cured' and able to move forward (with anyone else, if she chooses to). But it involves her flying over to her mate and convincing him to get married - something they both wanted, but may no longer be part of their (his) journey. It is meant to be a temporary union that will remove any residual energy from harming her and future offspring in the future.

    To me - that messes with his free will as well as hers. Because even if he has doubts - she will know how to guilt trip him into agreeing. It doesn't help that he believes in fortune-telling etc and will want the best for my sister, even if it involves taking a step which he is uncomfortable with. She wanted to marry him for so long - I feel sad that she is now willing to do this quickie thing which really trivializes the purity of their love.

    I do think some of these things that I do not understand - do in fact work. So it is not for me to judge the legitimacy of the advice my sister is following. I just cannot shake the feeling that it is wrong 😞

    ...in the sense that she is bypassing something she is supposed to learn - one of which may be: to decide to let go of her relationship the normal way - so that they can both deal with their grief and move on with their lives.



  • Danceur

    You are indeed a wise woman. There is noting left to b said here Your sister does not listen to you and has chosen her path. I wish her well, and you also.



  • I personally do not "subscribe" to people who claim to be psychic and only offer messages of fear...those who claim people have "dark" energy around them and then offer to "clear" it for a fee, etc. However, giving this person the benefit of the doubt, sometimes a person can be so entrenched in their desire that they become stuck in it and their life can become stagnant. Usually there are many people around the person giving them the advice they need to hear but they don't hear it. So sometimes the only way to snap someone out of it so to speak is to lead them down the path of getting what they think they want so they can see the blunt truth on their own. If your sister is not willing to let this person go, then maybe the only way to get her to see that this relationship has no future is to have her travel to him and seek marriage only to be rejected by him. Are you so certain that he would say yes? It's seems more likely that she will be met with rejection. If so, then she will be left with the cold hard truth and maybe the process of acceptance will begin.

    Your sister sees this man as her source of love and freedom from what binds her inside. Her grip on this idea of him being her soul mate is one of control which is based in fear. She needs to shift her focus from an external source to her own internal nature. Her true freedom lies in finding a place of safety within herself - understanding that she is her own soul mate. She does not feel loved and you know that the road to finding that within yourself first is the healing that needs to occur.



  • Thanks Shuabby - I guess so. But i feel sad nonetheless. She is much stronger and more self-assured than this. There is a part of her that knows better.

    Hi Watergirl,

    Thanks for sharing as well.

    Same for me - I do not like it when people use scaremongering tactics.

    She actually knows she needs to let go of her mate. Because it's already been 10 years of hope and promises that have come to nought. She's a different person now, so is he probably. She's also met someone else whom the psychic told her can also be a good match.

    Initially she told me she was getting ready to break things off with her mate - the normal way.

    Then all of a sudden, there is this idea of flying over there and doing a quickie marriage in order to 'unbind' their ties to each other - so that she can move on with her life, "remove a health curse", and marry someone else if she wants to.

    You're right - I do not know that he will say yes - I hope he doesn't. But chances are that he will. He would do anything for her. And she can be very insistent. I know he loves her - they did want to get married - but the trajectory seems to have changed along the way.

    I don't know what exactly she's planning because her mate cannot legally marry her (as he has not dissolved his previous marriage, although his ex-wife and him have been separated for years).

    You know it's funny - I told her the same thing last week. That we are our own soul mate... but when it comes to these matters, I don't think she can differentiate her own will from that of the psychic. I think she's tried not listening to 'advice' and then something unfortunate would happen and then it just reinforces the idea that she must get back on the path and follow the advice.

    My sister has been on the path to becoming her own person. She's smart, strong, confident, likeable and makes friends easily. But I think she is also very disappointed that she's had to struggle for so long (understandable) and she wants there to be someone there to take care of her. But I know she can take care of herself - she already has for so long.