Will we work this out? Any new readers?
The guy I love is ignoring me. He wont answer any text or phone call. I want to know if we iwll get back together or he will talk to me again or if he is with someone else. And for those who give me a reading I will give one in return if you'd like.
Isn't this guy more attractive to you at a distance and more desirable because he has moved away from you? You crave intimacy but you are also by nature a loner who loves and values your independence. You can be passionate but are afraid of losing control. Do you really want to get back together with this person?
Hi Thank you for responding Captain. I agree on everything you wrote. I do like to be alone. I like my freedom to be able to do what I want and stay home etc. I dont know if I want to get back with him he is rude. I don't trust him either. I dont know how someone can go 2 years without being with someone else besides myself but I choose not to cause I like being with my family. He is rude he ignores every message I send to him and if he does pick up the phone he calls me names and curses at me. I knew this would change as soon as I started talking to him again. He is a user. I called one time and he thought I was somebody else calling them babe and that was it. I do not like cheaters and I don't want to be with a cheater. He has made my life hell though in the past. He never took me out anywhere but one time. I use to walk to his house cause he was too insecure or lazy to come to my house and get me. This was after my car broke down. Then at one point I went to his house (this was when we first started being together) and I knocked on his door and realized his neighbor was outside on the phone and he kept looking at me I asked him if he could not look at me. I realized this guy was on the phone with my guy and my guy was saying I come there uninvited to make it look like I was stalking him. He opened the door and told me I to leave.
After that he played major head games with me to the point I got in trouble because I got angry and he wouldn't give me what was mine back. He would get on the phone and laugh at me and just treat me like shit. I was doing to good at the time my dog was dying and sick and I had the guilt on me and I had just moved. He played major guilt trips on me. I cant stand him but I dont know why Im contacting him maybe Im desperate I know Im anrgy that he got off again this time. He told me I was stupid and a piece of shit for talking to someone who treats me like that.
Im saying this to you cause I didn't tell my family I was talking to him again. I had gone into the hospital 3 years ago after we first talked because I had a nervous breakdown. My sister since has had to kind of be the person who takes care of my money and bills. I kind of feel guilty towards my dog who did eventually pass for going back to this coward. He thinks he is someone great and nice but he is not at all.
I started not liking him a week after I met him because he started yelling at me on the phone out of nowhere. He wasnt yelling like a boyfriend does like youre on the same level he was yelling at me like I was beneath him or like a father. I cringed when he did it like this guy doesnt havent know my middle name or birthday and hes already yelling at me and telling me what to with my life. Im the kind of person sometimes when Im in a weak position I will start to act the way the wrong people say I do like if they call me a loser i felt like one i started hating myself blaming myself and apologizing to this scumbag and he did this was when I had to leave my summer job and hadnt found a new one yet he just met me and thought I hadnt worked in my entire life. I worked every day of my life since I was 14 years old I dont take change too easily. I was also offered to scholarships for art school. I wasnt a smart kid in highschool cause I didnt apply myself I dont think Im better then people but I dont like someone who just met me especially a guy who is a lover to assume theyve known me my whole life.
I started being angry with everyone in my family and my dog who loved and still love more then anything in the world but she passed. I just felt like he was coming on way to strong. I always planned my life to be successful in Fashion Design and my dog and I live in a big house and we save strays so meeting this guy he was suddenly acting like I was married to him. Or now that i think about it he could have defensive and seeing someone else. He also called my grandmothers one night out of nowhere (I was staying there taking care of her) and accused me of slashing his tires while he was working I had no idea where this guy worked.
And to be honest I sometimes do not like his sex it seems a lot like he likes the idea of being in control and not the good sexy way. it is like a degrading way. I want to say what it really seems like but I dont want to say the word.
So my problem is Im like still trying to contact him and i cant stop myself.
Yes you can stop yourself - you just don't want to. You keep hoping this guy will suddenly change and be nice to you. But if he did, you probably would lose interest. You want someone who doesn't want you because it's safer for you. You even put up with horrible treatment that is demeaning and degrading. We fall in love by thinking about another person all the time. To fall out of love, you just have to stop thinking about them. Distract yourself by involving yourself in your own life - eg. join a club, take up a new hobby, do a course of study, meet new people etc. so you don't have time to brood over this awful guy. You are worth more than this.
You have some issues to work on - you must learn to retain your independence without alienating others with your forceful opinions in the process. Feeling insecure, you may try to manipulate and control others, or else you try too hard to please and then end up resenting other people for your own imbalance. You unintentionally create situations where you become dependent on someone or something, and you give away your freedom or limit your experience out of fear and self-doubt. Scattered and bored, you can become an emotional con artist. Lacking clear boundaries, you may play different roles or experience different selves through TV or books. Addicted to drama of one kind or another, you can remain at the mercy of your search for varied experience. You like the idea of having no responsibilities to a partner or family with no one to answer to and fewer compromises to make. But you won't find freedom in isolation. You must work through issues of cooperation with other people and with yourself. A committed relationship will provide the answer for that. So stop chasing people who aren't interested and find a partner who wants to commit to you. For your relationships to be fulfilling, you need to learn to be more spontaneous and to take more risks. Your uncompromising tendencies are emphasized before the age of forty-two and in this period your life is likely to be stormy. But, after the age of forty-three, you will reach a turning point which brings a need for more emotional and financial stability. But you can learn to unbend and become more compromising before that.
Essentially, what you really want is to be in absolute control of every area of your life all the time. You have an insatiable need to think you have the power to succeed. To attain this goal however, you must stay in touch with your feelings and insecurities and share the truth about yourself with others. Acknowledging your insecurities will give you a stable base from which to create success in the outer world, for you are no longer fighting yourself by trying to hide or suppress your feelings. This gives you a calm inner certainty from which to accomplish your goals. And by acknowledging your own emotions, you will develop an awareness of other people's feelings. As long as you remain aware and supportive of other people, you will gain the support you require to help you on your own path.
Your Achilles' Heel is this need for control ("If I can only make everyone get their lives together, then I can relax and be vulnerable"). But you can never control people or situations enough to feel that it's safe to be yourself. When you try to take charge in other people's lives without being invited, you are inappropriately usurping others' responsibilities. You must also avoid an unending search for acknowledgment ("If only others will recognise my contribution in a respectful way, I can begin to feel good about myself"). But others can never give enough recognition for you to feel satisfied. Only when you acknowledge within yourself the importance of the contributions you make (through nurturing others in a supportive way) will you begin to feel fulfilled. You will never have enough authority to feel that it's safe for you to be vulnerable. At some point, you must take a chance and let others know the truth of who you are and what you feel: your insecurities, fears of rejection and abandonment, and feelings of inadequacy. The irony is once you do this, you gain total safety - because in revealing your feelings, you've taken charge of yourself on a deeper level.
You are destined to find a way to emerge from the shell you often hide in and to express the more feminine side of your nature by becoming more compassionate, nurturing, and loving. Prone to emotional dormancy, you must learn how to reach out to others, thereby allowing yourself to share your unique brand of magic. Goal and career-oriented, you are called to let relationships be the centre of your life. You will learn lessons on love and loving, and as you learn, you will open to the enchantment of everyday life. As your emotional life opens and flows, you will blossom into a person who gives light and divine guidance to others. Your core lesson is to move into the light of a relationship from the shadows of a solitary life and release the need to be self-protective. Your goal is to reach out of yourself and touch those around you, using your gifts of psychic ability, generosity, and inspiration to achieve success and happiness.
2015 for you is a new beginning, a whole new chapter of your life. And you need to approach it this way. During 2014, you were putting old ways, attitudes and past failures or disappointments, anything or anyone you no longer needed, behind you. Any illness could have been you working old past issues out of your body. Now you can start afresh. The year ahead will challenge you to step out of your comfort zone, and new opportunities - particularly related to career, social life, and creativity - will emerge. Watch, however, for impulsiveness and rash emotionally-driven decision making. You are likely to make positive new connections with others this year. This is a year of action and a time to follow opportunities that will come your way. You will likely feel a sense of renewed energy at this time. It is OK to be a little selfish in 2015. Take time for introspection, as it will add to clarity and a sense of direction. You may at times feel called to stand on your own this year, and your creativity and inventiveness will be at their peak. This is definitely a time to have courage, make plans, and avoid indecision. It is a time of work, as you are laying new foundations, and opening up to new opportunities. Avoid being impulsive or headstrong as I said, yet be willing to change for the sake of your own personal progress and happiness. This is an auspicious time to begin new relationships and make new connections for personal or business reasons. The seeds you plant now, you will reap later. Others might find you less sociable, as you will be busier than ever and you will tend to focus on your activities and your needs. Still, you are outgoing and your initiative is stronger than ever now. Use it well!
everthing you said was on piont. i do love him though and he just out of nowhere decides im not what he wants. we were legally not suppose to contact eachother for what i thought was a long time and he contacted me after almost 2 years. I ve gained weight since then. I dont get out. I have 12 cats to take care of I needed something to make me happy and where I recently lived they had nothing but strays around and adopted all of them 5 are outside at my sisters and the rest I have in my house. I dont know if thats a problem to him but he said to me I gained so much weight and all he does is call me fat. I didnt gain that much but now cause Im depressed Im gainning more. From the time he last ended I figured thatw as it. it was done I left him alone if he meant for me to contact him while we legally couldnt talk I wouldn't. So he had all this time to find someone else. He use to block my number when he was mad now he is not even doing that hes not showing any kind of response. Just letting the phone call go to voice mail. I want him to talk to me and have a relationship with me. I told him he shouldnt have come back around if he was just going to emotional screw me up again. Point is he thought I was someone else on the phone and called them babe. He doesnt call me that ever. I wake up depressed i
everthing you said was on piont. i do love him though and he just out of nowhere decides im not what he wants. we were legally not suppose to contact eachother for what i thought was a long time and he contacted me after almost 2 years. I ve gained weight since then. I dont get out. I have 12 cats to take care of I needed something to make me happy and where I recently lived they had nothing but strays around and adopted all of them 5 are outside at my sisters and the rest I have in my house. I dont know if thats a problem to him but he said to me I gained so much weight and all he does is call me fat. I didnt gain that much but now cause Im depressed Im gainning more. From the time he last ended I figured thatw as it. it was done I left him alone if he meant for me to contact him while we legally couldnt talk I wouldn't. So he had all this time to find someone else. He use to block my number when he was mad now he is not even doing that hes not showing any kind of response. Just letting the phone call go to voice mail. I want him to talk to me and have a relationship with me. I told him he shouldnt have come back around if he was just going to emotional screw me up again. Point is he thought I was someone else on the phone and called them babe. He doesnt call me that ever. This makes me so depressed he is so abusive. i know hes laughing through the whole thing.
Captain I also need to say your input so much appreciated. You have answered me over the years and your words are always on spot and never change.
I want to go back to art school to be a Fashion Design.. I want to move to NYC .. Financially I dont see myself getting anywhere near this goal I had since I was 10 years old. But since I have all the time in the world I could manage a plan. Im easily swayed and pushed off course.
Try this - it's a very powerful way of releasing false hopes and dreams and drawing to you what is really yours. Sometimes our heads can get so littered with the things or people we THINK we want or need, only to have no room for the things and people that are really meant for us. This prayer or request to the Universe only has to be said once out loud (but with feeling) for it to start working on removing all that you don't need from your life and bringing to you what is your destiny. It can stop you longing for things or people that are not right for you - the urges will just slip away from your mind and you will clearly see that they were not meant for you. Then what is yours will come to you and every other desire you have that is not suitable or necessary for you will drop away.
When I repeated this request, I had a wonderful life-changing event happen to me within a week.
The Prayer of Release
"I accept all people, places, situations and things that are a part of my path.
I ask that all people, places, situations and things that are a part of my path come to me.
I release all people, places, situations and things that are not a part of my path.
I ask that all people, places, situations and things that are not a part of my path release me."
He talked to me last week. Then stopped taking to me again. This is making me so upset. I want this to be a relationship. All I keep doing is getting angry at him and sending ,ean texts hes no even caring to look at them. I have tried everything. He will just ignore me til Im dead
So why do you put up with such bad treatment? He does this because you keep allowing it. Get out of this destructive cycle - it's not a relationship, it's a battle of wills.
I was reading your post when I saw something that made me stop
"I started not liking him a week after I met him because he started yelling at me on the phone out of nowhere."
I don't know how much time has passed dear...but your intuition kicked in to say THIS guy is NOT for me when you saw the signs that he wasn't emotionally healthy.
A part of you identifed with him in some way and you continued seeing him.
When you understand why you did...you will be free from him once and for all.
Take a good look at the male role models you have had since childhood...Is there something familiar that this guy has in common with them?
The reason you cant let go is because something about the relationship feels twistedly like home...familiar.
Also coming into the picture is the underneath feeling that you do not deserve to have someone who connects with you on a one to one loving level.
To be in a loving relationship we have to love and appreciate who we are inside ourselves...knowing that we deserve the best that God, Life and Universe have to offer. We have to "get" that we are infinitely loved already..within... and joy is a gift we can give ourselves.
Acknowledge this in the morning when you rise...and and night when you lie down.
You are infinitely loved.