Taurus girl in love with (shy??) Cancer male
Hello everyone, it's been a long time since I posted anything here.
I think I just became to overwhelmed by emotions today and although I discussed this with my friends, I wanted to see if anyone with some insight and experience could help me out.
I am a student in a Korean university (I'm caucasian) and the first day of the semester I met a new boy in my major and we had lunch together with a group of friends. I instantly felt attracted to him, but intitially it was most likely just because of how handsome he is. He is very popular in our major, by the way.
After not talking since then, I spontaneously texted him one night at around 4 am. And we started talking. After saying goodnight, we didn't text until the day after when we had a class together. I saw him sleeping in class so I texted him "don't sleep in class" and we non-stop texted for a few days.
I expected him to talk to me in our class after that, but eventually he never approached or even looked at me - even after long, nice conversations by text. So I decided not to text him first anymore, thinking he probably found me creepy. Which would be completely fine!
But not long after, he texted me first, and we talked non-stop for about 5 days until we said goodnight yesterday. Today we had a class together again, and I was so sure he was going to talk to me (finally!!!) after he had flirted by text, calling me pretty and asking if I have a boyfriend (among other things). However, he didn't approach me once again - and made my mood very gloomy to say the least.. I had expected us to perhaps have a talk or even lunch after class. As I didn't want to scare my Crab away, I wanted to wait for him to approach me instead of walking up to him and his friends.
After the class, my mood was quite low and I told my friend about my problems - and she said she had caught him staring at me when I wasn't looking.
But why doesn't he talk to me, greet me or approach me? Could it be shyness? Or just the fact that he doesn't like me? Because if he doesn't like me, it would be best for me to move on.Are there any specific signs of a Cancer not liking me that I should be aware of? I just want to know how to read these confusing signs he's giving me. By text he's talkative, asks a lot of questions, teasing and we make up funny jokes together. We even have a lot of inside jokes already. We talk so well and naturally that it's beyond me why we wouldn't talk in real life! Trust me, I am not a shy person. I just thought it would be best to wait for him instead of being too agressive.
I haven't texted him since we said goodnight yesterday either, even though I want to. Because I want to keep the conversation going, and perhaps actually make a chance to talk in real life somehow..
Please, Any help, tips, or guidelines to understanding his behavior will be so helpful as I might be falling in love with this guy... or at least, I want to be more than just texting-buddies. Even becoming his friend would be awesome as he seems like a great person.
Thanks a lot in advance and sorry for rambling!
- confused Taurus girl
What are the birthdates here - yours and his?
Katiekt, how about asking him about this confusion/behavior the next time he texts you? Just be yourself! Obviously he enjoys your texts and conversations too!
And it's not love if you don't know anything about the other person - at the moment it's just a crush based on superficial observations. You need to get to know this guy better in order to find out if it could turn into something serious. Or he might turn out to be the sort of person whom you don't like at all.
I absolutely agree and thanks for the comments! It's definitely not love yet, I am just interested in getting to know him and I think the fact that he is a bit mysterious makes me more "obsessed" about it.
Update though: I asked him why he didn't approach me in class. He answered that he just happened to not really "run into" me, and that we should find each other next time. He also acted like he hadn't seen me in class, which I don't know why he would do....Why would he lie? Perhaps he hadn't really looked?
His birthday is July 19th 1995, mine is May 17th 1994, sorry for not specifying that!
I have some more questions! Since this guy is quite popular, I'm guessing he can choose between a lot of girls in our major.. Would a Cancer be the type of guy who likes or notices someone a bit different or exotic? Someone who stands out?
I am really hoping to have a chance to have lunch with him or something again. Would it be wise to wait until he asks me, or make the first move?
Thanks a lot!! I'm thankful for all feedback This is my first time encountering a Cancer, so I have a lot of things I am curious about.
This guy is actually low on self-esteem and has a lot of negative thoughts about himself. He can be prone to mood swings and tantrums, but his charm and seductive playfulness will more than make up for these shortcomings and so he can be quite popular. He doesn't really see himself as being very likeable however, focusing more on his weaknesses and flaws. He needs someone to make him feel good about himself and his life. He has a strong need for emotional security and will often seek a close relationship with someone who is dependable and motherly. But first they have to prove that they can be depended on and trusted and it may take this guy a while to do that.
This can work for a long-term love relationship, though the love affair that precedes a commitment may be very rocky. It can be very on-again/off-again, high-low, excess-lack: a sort of bi-polar aspect, which guarantees few dull moments at least. The relationship may reinforce each person's dark side, producing exciting and at times destructive behaviour. Yet destruction is very much a part of creation and the relationship may help you both to deal with your dark side better and create new better feelings about yourselves. Unfortunately, should this guy want someone to provide a peaceful environment and to balance his contrasting moods, it's unlikely you will be able to help him out with that - the two of you are more likely to bring out each other's wild sides and mood swings.
A love affair here will be tumultuous and will stir deep emotions, sudden passionate outbursts and expressions of undying love - or hate. If hatred comes into play, it may smolder quietly and go unnoticed for long periods before erupting, or be reflected by moods of disinterest or neglect masked by the appearance of tolerance. Yet the two of you may be afraid of letting go, afraid of seeing everything fly apart. This fear may fix such behaviour in place, making suppressed anger difficult to dislodge.
A friendship here can actually be more satisfying and easier. It would be busy with adventure, vigorous sports and other physically challenging activities, though it would still have its emotional ups and downs. But these incidents will usually be subordinated to exciting confrontations that paradoxically provide a measure of stability - they will allow you both to let off steam. Katiekt, as a friend, your positive attitude and innovative approach can counter this guy's tendency to get emotionally blocked and you may be able to sweep him out of his depressions when his love affairs and life put too much pressure on him.
The key to a successful relationship, of any sort, here is to establish an atmosphere of harmony and calm between you. You need to be this guy's peaceful centre since he is such a storm of emotions and self-doubt inside. Help him to centre himself in the present moment since he tends to dwell (and brood) on the past too much.
Thank you so much Captain for the long and insightful reply! It is so interesting to read, and as you say, a friendship would perhaps be a lot more satisfying. Although I have a crush on him now, it may fade away as I know him better. I tend to be a bit obsessed in the beginning, but it usually fades away eventually so that might happen as time goes on.
Update on the situation though; he called me yesterday and we talked on the phone before we went to sleep. I'm guessing that at least means he's somewhat comfortable and we can become closer whether as friends or whatever may come! It was really charming though. I have a close guy friend (Virgo) in our major, actually he's close with the Cancer too, and the Cancer asked me on the phone whether I meet this close guy friend a lot these days, and why we always sit together in class... He played the guitar for me as well. I hate how charming he is! It is hard not to like him!
Once again,thank you!
Hmm, that's jealousy rearing its ugly head - how would you feel if this guy asked you to drop all your male friends and never talk to them again? Because his insecurity about himself might very well make him behave in this controlling way.
Hi everyone this is a great site .can I ask for advice about my cancer man friend .Indeed your advice he's an older man .We have been friends for at least 3years we meet every month and everything you have said about cancer men are like him with one exception when I text him he will respond within a couple of hours unless it's something that doesn't need a response.
Can I ask how do you know a cancer man likes or is falling for you as a lot of you are in a relationship and I'm not. Thankyou for your time and any advice would be great .
Sorry I mean Ineed your advice xx
The fact that he hasn't asked you out on a romantic date seems to indicate he only wants friendship. You could just try asking him if he wants to be more than friends.
Thankyou captain for your response. You give really good advise I think I'm just a little shy to ask him .I just feel if I ask, our friendship would be in jeopardy we do hold hands.Maybe it's just me wanting more, and not wanting to put pressure on him .
If that is true I'm happy with a friendship but I'm always the one to contact him though a cancer trait of not contacting first second or twenty times . thankyou
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