How or what do I do to get a gemini to commit in a relationship???
Being a Gemini and sometimes I get flashes of intuition, I would say it is time to be honest and move on. This is maybe not the right relationship. I feel there is someone else for him and for you out there. You have have been keeping him from her. This is not fair for either of you. I think that you both know this is not meant to be. He had been through some rough times and you always mad sure you were there. There was another woman for him but a young girl came into his life and turned him against that woman. You and I both know that is whom he is meant to be with and he knows it too. He has been avoiding what he knows is his destiny and he wont admit it and uses you and others as an excuse because he is too sutbborn to admit he made an error in judgement being with the young lying lustful girl. He is hiding from the truth. Your reall job as a friend is to help each other move on and support each other to being what you are meant to do in life.
maybe it is that we are meant to travel on different paths--i guess I'll let the universe have it's say.He has been thru a few rough times, but as for the whole taking him from another-- that part I don't know of-- I have always let him choose--he liked me first and was presistant till I agreed. I have ignored many guys I liked not quite sure y--in that sense I think we both keep each other in a circle and maybe away from others.Sometimes I felt he was always searching when I wasn't.Thank you for u're comments though I think, they were a little harsh--I guess it;'s just the holidays.
I dont know y I still feel a pull towards him--I can't sense him anymore -- so I guess it's just me
and I should give someone else a chance.
dragonelf just be yourself and try not to think about him I know it's hard and easier said then done but trust me when I say he will come back but it will always be when you least expect it you have to trust and believe that if its meant to be it will be it's like the saying goes you have to let him to go and if he comes back its meant to be and if he doesnt then you know it was for a reason but it sounds like from your history that he will come back remember they are very career oriented and they set goals for themselves and when they are ready to settle down they will but if they are not ready then well you will have to deal with the cards that are dealt . Always remember that everything happens for a reason you may not always understand it, but its up to you to make out of it what you may... it sounds like you a strong person that knows what you want this is just a minor setback think positive and everything else will fall into place...
Hello canermen-- thank you so much for u're comments:)--everything u're saying I understand and it is true--I think i really needed to hear what you wrote--it somehow gave me strength --so thank you for that
I would like you're advice:I recently found out that my gemini is not in the best of shape--these are hard times-- he is trying to focus on school and his career and balance it out with everything else -- I think he is going thru a though time.Though he sounds optimistic with n/o i can't handle--I am not sure if it's just a brave front.i am sure he could use a friend--who has postive inpute--I was somewhat of a cheering squad for him.Though our converstaions -- didn't always focus on the worst happeing in our lives--the talk of everyday things that didn't matter sorta --I think it gave us a strength, a happiness.
the moment I realized things might not be great for him--the whole heart ache qiutened down and now instead I feel silly for making such a big deal out of it-- yes it hurt-- when it seems there are other bigger things to worry about and he is a tough spot.I don't know whether I should contact him and just say I felt he wasn't o.k and wanted to let him know I am there if he needs--I don't know what to offer.On the other hand he might not accept my offer and it might look like I am looking for an excuse to contact him.
I have thought things over--trying sense what I should do and how far I am capable of putting myself out for him again. I have been hurt, I proabbly have caused hurt 2--I think that it's easier to be nicer to some and not hurt them if u genuinely care about them. so maybe.the selfishenss I think I sense from him towards me --is a result of just not carring enough,so my offer of contacting would really be of no use and would only been seen as coming back.
I think in some ways--the reviews and rewinds of the past since present I have played in my head over and over--and as much as I am I must admit afraid h'll fall 4 someonelse and start a family--the rewinds of the past -- from them I think I see that he might not have carred as much--though last time we talked he claimed he did but stooped trying to show b/c I didn't belive it.I think i just don't wantt to hurt anymore by him,though he is good and strangly I feel mean to me.no matter how much i miss him i feel like my not wanting to feel that hurt again and again might make me able to just be friends. I am not sure if that would be enough for me to help him, be a friend and still not get sucked from the boundary to the centre of I miss hims and wants 4 for than friendships.
while talking on the phone I was fine, we talked about everything --that didn't matter somewhat--but I felt that maybe we could be friends-- I wasn't sure what to call it--and then suddenly when the calls trinkled --I started to really miss him. I am not sure if I am strong enough to not go back to square one.He wanted to keep me as a friend--and i guess I feel guilty b,c I gave out an alyimatum over friendship b/c I felt he wasn't being a good friend to me by being mean and now he needs a friend.I am sure he has friends--but for somereason I feel like I could bring postivity into him more than his friends can assuming he allows me to help and actually lets me in.
I have realized I have 2 focus on where my life is goikng to0--I need to chose what I want to do--and I think overthinking and worrying about it just saped the energy out of me.I guess I am num with somewhat of a feeling and I am not sure if heart might have added in to all that.The funny thing is that I was hurt and sad but I had energy-- and now after sensing his situation--I have calmed down but don't have the energy to either hurt or anything--not sure what to make of it.
I know this might seem like a ton of rambling and rable but to whom ever has reached this far adn has read this far I would apprectiate u're commennts. I am not sure: DO i contact try to help risking possible rejection and a possible smirk or do I just compleley let it go and focus on my life and just light a candle to make his hardships easier.Though he has hurt me or rather I have let me self get hurt--I still despite it all manage to actually consider coming back as a friend until his darkenss lightens though I might be told there is no darkness and might risk putting myseld down as a stepping ,at--I think it has somthing to do with the fact that he is own his own and I have either thru obligation or affection have somewhat of a support.He doesn't and I can't help but feel I need to put my feelings aside and let him know though he hurt me I am there?
I know it sounds stupid, he's motto it seems is let go if u love them. part of me was hoping that letter would have a reply and b/c I wasn't sure what I was going to do and i didn't wnat him to see me not stong and sure of what I was doing I guess I also hoped the answer would be a no.it might be that he though the same as people seeing him fail is his fear. I think i would haevbeen easier for me to just somehow let it go for a while if I knew he was doing better and was in a better situatio--on the other hand I am not too sure what i can possibly do --money and good friends i think r what r needed now--to make things better except encourage not sure that would be enough--i am pretty good cheerleader 4 others though now I can;t seem to do me much good):
Thank you for reading this far.And if you have, I would really appreciate any impute u guys might have.Thank you so very much:)
peace and light
oops I just reread-- sorry for the misspell Cancermen
I let him go and he came bacl to me twice--once he came over 4 a visit seemed o.k with going all the way but when I said that I might be falling he just kinda freaked and told me it was my problem,i fix it--he seemed to have forgotten the nxt day and the week after--he was so happy on coimng to visit and I just felt a distance b/c of what he said.The second time about 4months b/f the I miss hims he wanted to come see him--he was so eager for month1/2--i think and I was just overthinking it b/c of the incident b/f this and Iwasn't 2 sure of his intentions.I guess I am not sure how many times the let go and come back works--b/c I think i might have let him go when he came back to me--I think that's what it was.I guess I am not sure if the letgoapplies anymore b/c maybe it appiled b/f already. I HOpe cancermen, you get a chance to read this and leave a comment--I know this is a draft.--but after this I don't think I have much to say.
dragonelf one thing I noticed and YOU must understand is that your gemini is trying to figure out his path in life so it's not that he doesnt care about you but he is trying to get his life on track you have to remember most geminis dont even settle down til early mid 30s why cause they cant decide on anything they are all over the place and hes trying to figure out what works and doesnt work I do know one thing and you can not under any circumstance suffocate your gemini partner they will run they dont like alyimatums he wont even choose he will simply just walk away they dont over think anything or hold grudges they are just happy doing what they like to do at that moment without having to worry about a time limit or hurting someone elses feelings because they forgot something I hope you understand where I'm going with this. Think back and try to remember how you were when you and your gemini first met and how you were then because it worked then so whats changed between then and now besides your feelings for him? Remember that you dont give every little detail to geminis they need to be intrigued and left curious its what keeps both of you alive and you have to worry about you and loving you before trying to love someone else it sounds like there is alittle insecurity on your side and I could be wrong but I dont think I am (im pisces) I sense these things whatever it is please not let it ever be over a gemini they are a great catch, charming, intelligent, but also have 20 million things going on at the same time so its not intentional to hurt you or not call or even respond to your message its just them being the busy little bees that they are as far as his current situation they need there time to work out there own problems it might help to let him know your there for him but he already knows and he hasnt come to you so you have to wait for him unfortunately but like I said before if you start doing the things you used to do or say before this gemini came into the picture that will take up a majority of your time and before you know it he will be calling they like to be unpredictable and mysterious so allow them to be without having to or worrying about why they are not hitting you up I hope this helps and also remember that you are an amazing person and if he can not realise this its his loss. Sometimes it takes someone truely amazing to leave the gemini for them to stop and realise what they actually want in a relationshiop or girlfriend I hope this helps....
Greetings..... thought I'd throw in my 2cents worth, one cent for each of me being a Gemini and all, although for those who know the Craft with Sag Asc. and Aquarius Moon. So there is a strong Philosophic/spiritual bent to this Twin.
Sounds like the ole Conflict of Loyalties Issue to me possibly in both people. Simply Ask him, What are you really loyal to? Your Freedom to do as you please or making a commitment to a loving partner? See what he says?
I'll tell you straight out....... There are only two things a person can really be loyal to.. the Truth or Deception. One is up front and Noble and the other... self explanatory. But in the end it is being loyal to God and wanting to be a better person thorough partici[pating in loving relationships or not. The behavior is pretty evident where a person stands and lives. All the BS they (Geminis) can intellectually come up ( an they are masters at it) is a real litany of reasons. But a commitment scares them as it does a lot of people. They are afraid to be deeply touched and possibly wounded again, like everyone.. Develop a good Coping mechanism and deal with the real issues but that comes with age and, experience and Wisdom. . Without that.. little chance of any successful relationship.
JUST BE a Happy loving person. If he's not..or won't - NEXT!! get my point?
I love you guys for responding.Thank you. I am a virgo, so I tend to get stuck in the past and over analyse--but what you guys said I understand. It's just he is a good person and so am I and we seem to have a good time--and he gets my scarcastic humor it's just when I am hurt and retaliating he's on the gun and the other way around. I guess I realized--I missed him and that life was short --I wanted to spend it with the person I cared about-- games I have realized are a waste of time--or atleast them seem to be to me.Y waste time, making someone miserable when you like someone and could be making happy memories especially since one can never tell what tomorrow might bring. It's been about four years of this tag and pull and blender ride--I guess just reflected on how many guys I have actually not even looked at --though they really liked me and the one I cared about--didn't bother to reply. I would have atleast called and said call me when you are ready to be a friend. he might not have meant to be rude--and the care free attitude --no grudges you have mentioned is spot on. I guess I just thought, a reply showed some sort of reply. But I have decied to try and leave 09 in the past and start afresh in 2010.Thank you all:))) so very much for the comments.
oops I meant to say reply shows some sort of respect. I feel he is sometimes selfish--he wants pple to be good to him but forgets to do the same in kind. I guess he has to grow up.
but thank you all so much for replying--it really has been helping.I have drained myself with thinkning and now anytime I feel myself get drawn to the same memories--I say no, not there lol.Hoping that will work.But yes, thank you all and wishing you all the best in the new year that has begun. I like an Aqua, he likes me too -- it's just all the stubornness and the unknows that r blurry but I have decided I will not again let myself be so drained ever-- I will focus on my life and give my attention to only those to prove to me they want mine and me in my life.so thanks:)))
I will update if anything sizzling comes by but probably not lol
I just rerad-- I think what's changed is that he used to be good and carring--and even planned narrage after college so to speak and then he got with kids his age an dhe changed--he wanted to be a guy I guess and just maybe play the scene--but he is good at heart. I think we flipped places of though what I realized the like one person--spend time with them etc...he slowly I guess changed his mind about.Past 09 and to 2010 and possibly an Aqua it is--harder said than done.we r both in mercury so communication is supposed to be our forte but go figure.
just joining this debate on the gemini man. I have known a gemini as a friend for 2 Half yrs. He is married and in a unhappy( his words) 10yr marriage. I woudnt have a physical relationship because of this, as well as the fact that 3 half years ago left my 20yr marriage to an unpredictable capricorn. Both of our partners have drink problems. I was frightened of relationships at the time. I told him to sort his marriage out and be a father to his kids. Our kids are the same age they have met and get on well. Im an aquarius but im the 18th feb, so very close to pisces. Anyway in sept he separated from his wife. He came to see me i was excited but frightened. I told him to sort out what he really wants. He says he agrees he needs time. He writes and says hes sad and lonely and was thinking of getting a room in a shared house. He comes to see me again at work and tells me they were telling the children after christmas. I said are you thinking of testing it again over christmas. He says no , I said is there someone else, he says might be. Then he told me he had joined a dating agency and now has a relationship with someone on the physical level, living away , they get on well, but its early days. He phones me saying dont loose contact. He tells me the dating agency its fun. I was intrigued so I joined, as its free to look. We got matched to him, which I found interesting. On reading his profile I realized how much we had in common. But thats that. I emmailed him to tell him we had been matched, but I was going to cancel my membership. I txt him one evening 18th dec to ask him how he was and havent heard anything since. So much for keep in contact. Not sure whether to just leave it. I cant make him respond or think of me if hes not, so I have let it all go . I dont understand whether he ever realy wanted me or whether it was in my head anymore. I wish I had told him how I felt and why I wasnt going there. Instead i played im not interested really excetra. He is still married and that is still a fact though, perhaps thats it really. Would be gratefull for any comments.
I am a gemini female and know for a fact how we geminis love to play head games, especially in love relationships. Most gemini's are compatible with anyone who can keep up with them on their level of mentality and intellectualism. I've always said about any man; " The head on his shoulders is a much sexier organ!"