Captain, advice for my friend please



  • Anjali (12/03/1989) Russell (06/05/1977)

    Dear Captain

    My good friend Anjali had asked me to contact you regarding the man in her life, Russell. They have been on and off for the past 2 years. To me, he has shown clear signs of being mentally unstable so obviously I am worried about the situation between them as she is very attached to this person, and even with all the up an downs ranging from texts to other women to aggressive verbal talk she still states that she is very much inlove with him. He always manages to convince her to go back to him and to 'work on it' again. It is hard because she sees him through rose tinted glasses, don't get me wrong he is a charming and worldly man. But he also has a very apparent dark side. Will he ever commit to Anjali fully as he promises? and how does he feel about her? I'm worried she will get hurt again... I have included a photo of Anjali

    Thanks 🙂

    K x



  • Anjali and Russell - the signs are that this will not work as a long term romantic relationship.

    Anjali has an untamed spirit and an air of danger about her, and is attracted to people who are equally gorgeous and edgy. Despite her outward show of courage and daring, she may be prone to emotional instability, perhaps from hardships as she was growing up. She must learn to deal with her inner conflicts and face up to her insecurities, perhaps with the help of a counselor or therapist if family and friends are not an option. She loves to play games and set traps in relationships and will often attract steady and genuinely loving people who are drawn to her craziness. She needs to steer clear of exploiting those more vulnerable than her and to seek out people who are her match in energy, daring and eccentricity.

    Russell is an extremely sensitive person who has trouble coping with his sensitivity. He is an excessive worrier and tends to suffer from a lack of self-confidence - he must find ways to build his self-esteem that don't involve putting others down. He can be unwilling to commit to a relationship unless he feels it has the potential to be a perfect union. This means that he may spend many years searching and waiting, but when he finally finds his soul mate, he is at his happiest and best, because love and giving to others is a strong motivating force in his life.

    Together this pair makes for an extremely unstable relationship but that is also part of the attraction. Their combination does stimulate extroversion which can be good for both of them. They may be fascinated with art and performance, whether as participants or as audience. A melding of interests in music, dance, theatre and design may be prominent here. In a love affair or marriage, a balance must be struck between intimacy, quiet, contemplation and extroversion. Passionate Russell can be at times quite threatening to milder Adjani who is however quite capable of matching Russell's sensuousness on a regular basis. The pair may diverge however when Russell takes a frank and uncompromising approach to the relationship, eschewing emotional sympathy and romance - essential qualities to Adjani. Independent Russell will likely also be unwilling or unable to satisfy Adjani's need to be needed. But there can be a sort of blindness (and also past karma) here that only time will help this pair to work through. Eventually they should come to see that the things that hold them together are not the positive requirements of a healthy relationship but more the needs and insecurities of troubled people. There is a deep need here for quiet intimacy and to slow the busy, noisy pace that this relationship can take on.