Confused about someone true intent
soulconfusion last edited by
hello anyone who I willing to take a crack at this one but there Is someone new in my everyday life and I'm not sure of my feelings for him cause I cant figure out what his true feelings are about me and what his motivation are concerning me his initials are R M L does anyone have any insight on this person thanks in advance
TheCaptain last edited by
Are you really going to base your feelings on what other people feel for you first? That suggests you don't know your own mind or heart. Would you really dislike this person if he dislikes you, or love him only if he loves you? That would leave you in a state of constant confusion and instability if you are waiting to see how others react to you..
In order to be able to understand someone fully, you need to bear in mind that you can't analyze their behaviour in one or two situations, then judge their whole personality. The first thing you need to do to understand someone deeply is to eliminate all kind of prejudices, superficial judgments, and all other premature conclusions made about that person. You need to put aside your own personal feelings and what you have to gain or lose, and take an objective look at the person - if you can separate your own needs and desired outcome from the situation. If not, then you won't be able to tell how the other person is really feeling - you will only know how you think or hope he is feeling. The reason it is harder to understand is because, when you are in the situation, you process everything through your own ego and perceptions. This distorts your understanding of others’ actions. Because you see all of the their actions through you, their intent becomes unclear. The one big mistake we all make is to assume we know how anyone else is feeling or why they do something. You will have to take yourself and your vested interest out of the situation if you are to see the reality of it. If you can’t move past your reaction to a person, you’ll never really understand their actions or thinking.
For a psychic to pick up anything about this person, we would need a photo or birth date or something of his in order to tune into his vibes. For now, by yourself, you can only try to be objective and examine his actions and his words for the truth of the situation. Don't judge someone quickly because that would certainly lead to incorrect conclusions. Every action and behaviour has some sort of goal and intent behind it. If you look closely enough, you’ll be able to figure it out. Look at it from the other person’s point of view. Why would someone say or do what they did? Perhaps they are satisfying their own egos or maybe they are doing something out of a deep rooted insecurity. What would you think if this person was treating a friend of yours the same way he treats you? Would you approve or disapprove of this behaviour? Would you think it friendly or suspicious? Many times people do or say something to give off an impression. Try taking the person’s action and imagining yourself doing it. Then try to figure out the reason why you would say or do it. Just remember that, if someone says something that causes a big emotional response in you such as anger or fear, it might not be their intent. People may say things that anger or upset or scare you and it comes from their own insecurities rather than any attempt to cause you distress or harm. Sometimes what people intend to do and what actually happens are two different things. Of course, there are also those whose deliberate intent is to get an emotional response from you. You just have to evaluate situations as they arise and make your best judgment. With practice, this will become easier. The more you can step outside yourself to assess a situation or person, the more likely you will be to see the truth.
You really need to gather as much information as you can about a person or situation. Next time you see this guy, put aside your own feelings and desires and examine him dispassionately. What does his main emotion seem to be - anxiety, friendliness, seduction, wariness etc. - or the inner emotion behind his outward display. Ask some probing questions of your own that you have thought up beforehand. Try to find out some more about his past and his past relationships as he may be following a repeated pattern of behaviour or reaction. Talk to other people who know him.
Learn how to read body language as this can be more telling than actions or words. How does this guy hold himself while he interacts with you or other people? Does he cross his arms, rub his nose, look away or what? Typically, the most unique body language can be found in nervous habits. While there are lots of actions that most people perform when nervous (such as shifting weight or darting eyes), there are other actions that could be based off of someone's past or just something they're insecure about. For example, someone might brush or trace a noticeable scar with their finger when nervous.
Pay attention to how physically close someone is to you. The closer they are, the warmer they are thinking of you. If you move slightly closer to them and they move even closer to you, they probably really like you or are very comfortable around/by you. Watch their head position - an overly tilted head is either a potential sign of sympathy, or if a person smiles while tilting their head, they are being playful and maybe even flirting. A lowered head indicates a reason to hide something. If it is lowered when he is being complimented, he may be shy, ashamed, timid, keeping distance from you, in disbelief, or thinking to himself. If it is after an explanation, then he may be unsure if what he said was correct, or could be reflecting. A tilted head means that they are confused or challenging you, depending on their eye, eyebrow, and mouth gestures.
Look into their eyes. People who look to the sides a lot are nervous, or distracted. However, if a person looks away from the speaker, it very well could be a comfort display or indicate submissiveness. If someone looks down at the floor a lot, they are probably shy or timid. People also tend to look down when they are upset, or trying to hide something emotional. People may be thinking and feeling unpleasant emotions when they are in the process of staring at the ground. Sometimes looking down and away from the body can indicate shame or guilt. Just be certain to validate this feeling by reverting back to the topic a second time to validate the body language reading. Some cultures believe that looking at someone in the eyes is a sign of disrespect, or is only done with intimate friends or family, so this could explain why someone is avoiding eye contact with you. Dilated pupils can mean that the person is interested - or else under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Don't mistake having a few drinks for attraction. If their eyes seem focused far away, that usually indicates that a person is in deep thought or not listening.
Also watch and see if they're mirroring you. If someone mimics your body language, this is a very genuine sign that they are trying to establish rapport with you. Try changing your body position here and there. If you find that they change theirs similarly, they are mirroring. Check their arms - people with crossed arms are closing themselves to social influence. Though some people just cross their arms as a habit, it may indicate that the person is (slightly) reserved, uncomfortable with their appearance (self-conscious and trying to cover it), or just trying to hide something on their shirt. If their arms are crossed while their feet are shoulder width or wider apart, this is a position of toughness or authority. Crossing arms may also mean that a person is angry and trying not to show it. On the other hand it might be cold and they're just trying to stay warm. If they are rubbing their hands together or somehow touching their own body, they might be comforting themselves (which means they aren't enjoying the current situation). If someone rests their arms behind their neck or head, they are open to what is being discussed or just laid back in general. If their hands are on their hips, they might be waiting, impatient or just tired. If their hands are closed or clenched, they may be irritated, angry, or nervous.
Pay attention to their gestures in conversation. Exaggerated movements can express passion or interest in the subject. Frequent reaching forwards or superfluous hand gestures can mean that someone is trying to convince you of something. Noting the intensity, frequency, and reach of hand gestures can help you read another person's body language, but remember that the exact meaning of these gestures will depend largely on context. Be aware of nervous gestures: If someone brushes their hair back with their fingers, this may be preening, a common gesture if the person likes you, or their thoughts about something conflict with yours. They might not voice this. If you see raised eyebrows during this time, you can be pretty sure that they disagree with you. If the person wears glasses, and is constantly pushing them up onto their nose with a slight frown, that may also indicate they disagree with what you are saying. Look to make sure they push up their glasses with an intent, not casually adjusting them. A frown or raised eyebrows should tip you off. A frown may also indicate eyestrain, and constant re-adjusting of glasses could be the result of an improper fit. The distinguishing feature is whether they are looking directly at you while doing it. Lowered eyebrows and squinting eyes illustrate an attempt at understanding what is being said or going on. It's usually skeptical. This is presuming they are not trying to observe something that's far away. Watch their feet: a fast tapping, shifting of weight, laughing, or movement of the foot will most often mean that the person is impatient, excited, nervous, scared, or intimidated. The meaning of feet tapping can usually be discerned depending on the context; if you are currently talking and they are tapping their feet, that is an indication of a desire to leave (though usually this behavior manifests when the person is anxious to get somewhere specific, such as a meeting, rather than because of what you're doing specifically). Slow shuffling indicates boredom with the current situation. If during flirtation your legs/feet touch, tapping can generally be interpreted as nervous excitement. This is because, if they were uncomfortable, they would discreetly move away from the contact, a much more subtle escape than indirectly trying to tell you to move away. If the person is sitting, feet crossed at the ankles means they're generally at ease. If while standing, a person seems to always keep their feet very close together, it probably means they are trying to be "proper" in some way. Sometimes feet together means that they are feeling more submissive or passive. If they purposely touch their feet to yours, they are flirting! Some people may point their feet to the direction of where they want to go or sometimes their interest. So if their feet are pointing at you, that person may be very interested in you.
All these things are clues you can use to tell what someone else is feeling. Then you will be independently be able to understand other people without needing anyone else to interpret it for you. You can go anywhere and be confident that you can pick up the signs of whether someone likes you or not.