What is my ex husband up to?
I know my ex is up to something, and now that he has guideline visitation with my children and is doing exactly what I predicted he would do with my children (namely having his parents take care of them and feed them, etc.) whenever they are in his care, I am wondering when he is going to mess up again...he is a "former" drug addict who's parents are extremely controlling and were trying to take my children away before I move far away two years ago. I know they are the main reason he is supposedly "clean" right now and now that they have what they want (namely my children's presence again) I am wondering when my ex will go back to his drug using ways... I truly feel like he is going to go back to his former ways because I truly feel as if he did not get clean for the right reasons and therefore will not stay clean... I am a little stressed out and very curious about when he will mess up again...I am very concerned that it will really hurt my seven year old more than my six year old....I want to prepare myself before I have to prepare my seven and half year old for what is coming. Any insight you can give me would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance,
patchlove last edited by
I believe that you are an excellent mom and there is nothing anyone could do to take your children from you.
Allow the manifesting of positive thought energy to flow into this situation. Allow God and his angelic realm to influence all involved. Believe in the best outcome for your children, believe in the power of the Divine to deliver you and them on the other side of this difficult passage intact.
Do not allow fear to rule the day.
Hold your children, love them, let them know you are there for them always.
Like a tempest storm, hold them from the wind in the strength of your character, in the belief that you will be there for them when someone cannot be.
In all your communication, let it be the positive attributes of wisdom, understanding, calm and patience that lay the foundation for your time together. It will be difficult at times..but try to keep it in the forefront.
It will be harbor in the storm for them, a place of emotional stability and safe haven.
Love and Blessings to you and your children.
If your children's grandparents are loving and provide a safe place for them you should see the positive. The things you can not change you must embrace and find your gratitude. They seem controlling because you want control. As a grandparent myself I would be devastated if a woman threatened to severe ties and move my grandchildren away because of my adult son.I love my grandchildren! If you make your children choose they will resent you.....it will be a festering bad seed. Let them choose. If they honestly complain about not being happy with their grand parents then that's another story but if the grandparents are safe and loving to THEM then count your blessings! Many woman must by law send their children to a bad daddy with no safety net. Unfortunately, as adults who have children we become responsible for our choices.....no judgement but just realistic about the situation.We can not own our children, we bring them into a world of many family ties. You can not hide their father's condition. At least they will see the truth and as adults have no fantasies as to how it was. Addiction, is hereditary and God forbid one of your children faces those choices one day. Keeping the truth in the open will serve them to be less likely to lie to themselves about what addiction looks like. All you can control is YOUR thoughts and YOUR choices. Do not borrow trouble and stop thinking about your x.....that is a form of addiction itself. He robs your power to be alive in your own life in this moment. How can you be truly FREE if he's in your head? You need to be moving forward with goals and positive changes for yourself. Have a back up system for IF your children do hate the visits. You said that is in process...good choice! Everyone deals with some kind of fear of the future.....it is a opportunity to learn to seize the day, live in the moment and use your thoughts to manifest positive energy. You are fighting a done deal......pushing a boulder uphill by not surrendering to the reality of divorce with children. It means you will have to deal with sharing control. I agree, that would be a hard one! I have also raised a grandchild part time who has a controlling mother who spews hateful remarks about the people he loves. I never bad mouthed her when he was young. As a teacher we are taught that the most damaging thing to do is badmouth a child's parent or loved one even if it's true. They WILL grow up and think for themselves and the thing is a child may love their bad parent very much and actually stand up for them blindly if the other parent badmouths them. The child will angrily turn on the angry parent.. Have faith in the long haul, take the high road and do not borrow trouble but have a back up if it should happen visitation is bad for them. . Children have psychic radar about their parents emotional states. If your children do not wish to be with their grandparents they will say so and the counselor will help you. But you want your children to be in touch with their OWN feelings and not overwhelmed by yours. I see that YOU have an open space in your life if you let go of some drama....use it to do something wonderful for your self. You are a good person! BLESSINGS!
Thank you patchlove and dearest blumoon, the only badmouthing is done by my ex's parents about me to other people, but I have seen them badmouthing others in front of their children...so that is a big concern for me....I will try to clear my mind of their behavior and just pray that my children are protected and safe wherever they are...and I really tried not to take my children away from their family, they threatened to take my kids away because I wouldn't let my ex see them when he was in the middle of his drug abuse...I have always been most concerned about keeping them safe. And I have always tried to keep a positive view for them of all of their family....as much as I can anyway. I know they are not at fault and I don't ever want them to feel like they are. Thank you so much for your kind insight and time. Many blessings to you both.
And just as an afterthought Blumoon,
I am feeling very creative at the current time...I do make soaps and candles...any chance of making money from those...I would like to, but I am not the best at bragging for sales...
You would do well. And specially selling at a farmers market or cottage bushiness to start. Marketing a challenge, specially when you are generous as you and one whose talent is easy or fulfilling for them they feel almost guilty fr charging too much. I made money doing all kinds of things when my boys were young. With a farmers market here I have thought of it too. From past experience I know you just have to do it...in fact desperation pushed me otherwise to much thinking about it finds too many fears.In my state you do not need a license to sell at a market any thing considered cottage sales....like cookies, candies or candles. I know I love good candles and I go all the way to cracker barrel just to get the yankee because the scents are unique and they burn long. I hate buying a dept. store candle and it doesn't burn a good scent long and it has a short life. If you are good at candles.....they will sell. Start small with little headaches if you find a market that you just rent a small space for he weekend. If you have nothing like that then try a shop that sells antiques or homey stuff or arts and crafts and see if they will carry your candles...give them a sample. Downside to that is they usually want fifty percent. Once you get confidence and a market name ....people come back then you can introduce your candles to a bigger company in a mall but by hen you need to be prepare for making a lot. Start small and others will give you ideas about expanding...your local chamber of commerce will often hook you up with retired business people in your line of work and they will coach you.My chamber of commerce offers that.I think starting at a marketplace with little expense would work well at first. I am not just being nice...you could do very well at something crafty. As for your kids....give them time to make their decision......if you are not badmouthing yet they do, your children WILL hate it as the get older and once they decide they do not want to be there anymore there is no one who can make them. .. Your children are old enough to speak up and if they end up with the dad somewhere unsafe they will tell you. Then you document it and deal with it legally but for now pray for there protection. A lot of others live with your issue. A regular counselor will help you should you need back up! Make your candles and try not getting stuck in indecision.....go out one day to shops and markets and see what's out there and get ideas.BLESSINGS!
I just wanted to share that I was able to do my first bazaar today! I think I did pretty well. A lot of people were very happy with my product so far! I hope they are just as happy when they burn the meltables as they were when they were smelling them. I just wanted to say thank you for your encouragement! There was a lady at the bazaar today that actually made me think of your spirit. It was her first bazaar today too, but she kept telling me how she really thinks I have something special in my meltables...She was very sweet, but genuine as well. There was only one other person there selling something similar to what I was selling and as a prize for the raffle I bought a ticket for, I won one of her products...hahaha...too funny. I think my product is good, but I have a great sense of smell...others who smoke and do not have my extreme sense of smell (only two that have been friends or family) just mentioned after I completed the bazaar today that they do not feel that my candles have that great of scent throw...Those are the only complaints that I have had so far...I hope everyone else is as happy with their purchase as I was while making them. I really do enjoy making them. Could you give me some insight on how you think the customers might be enjoying their product? Just curious. I am doing another bazaar next weekend and I am hoping to do well enough that I will be able to purchase quite a bit of my kids' Christmas presents.
Thank you for all of your insight and encouragement, I do really appreciate it!
Good for you!! I love the meltables! You know when you create something with great enjoyment it does create a happy energy others will enjoy. I will drive out of my way and pay more to get the good ones. You will do well and people will come looking for your product. I hope you gave them a distinct name that will be remembered as your signature. Keep creating more scents and experimenting and ignore the criticism. Concentrate on the happy buyers. Some folks do not care for such products....I love candles and also have two pots for the meltables...I love my house to be filled with pleasing scents. Your product will never go out of style. Many women must have their candles...it never gets old. Your customers love the scents.....some may end up with favorites after trying more so do not take it personal if anyone has any criticism about one scented candle.. Everyone has different tastes so do not blame your candles. My husband has his favorite ones and I have mine. Keep positive and do not worry. You will do well and most likely get some requests to sell your candles in a more expanded way. Be self confident about your self worth and make sure you get what they are worth. BLESSINGS!
Thank you so much Blumoon! And I had to share, I got a wonderful compliment this morning from someone who bought some of my meltables on Saturday! She said they used them at her sister's baby shower on Sunday and got compliments on them the whole time...I was so very excited about that. Thank you for the encouragement and I hope I do as well the next couple of weekends. I am just really happy others like my meltables as much as I enjoy making them. And now I have more people who enjoy them. So that is pretty great!!
Thanks again for the encouragement,
star2u last edited by
Well Laci what about you allow yourself to live your life then checking him out
Have not got enough of that yet? you are separated for a reason, this is your opportunity to start your life and live it how you want why second guess him ? and put some mental energy on trying to figure him out
whats the gain? move on