How To Find Your Perfect Match Without Trying

  • In the modern world, people go so artificially about relationships. It’s so clumsy and leads only to emptiness and disappointments.

    In London I did some workshops and went to public speaking events. I enjoyed wearing high heels occasionally (for a change:)), elegant clothes and beautiful make up. It’s a sort of celebration for me. That attracted the attention of quite a few males, and I saw how their minds switch off when a pleasant female face or figure comes into their view. The same goes with women. Indoctrinated by romantic movies, they scan the faces of people. If a guy ticking the boxes of today’s maleness and beauty appears in view, a woman gets into the self-talk and convinces herself that he’s the one or that he would be a great boyfriend.

    Romantic movies do a great disservice to the humanity. Those watching such movies regularly feel empty and unworthy if they don’t have a mate. Their sole preoccupation becomes finding one. Fortunately, when you switch off from such a propaganda, you’re very happy being single and you understand that you don’t need a second half – you’re whole already. Of course sometimes the attraction is genuine, but most of the times it’s self-induced. It’s either biological (when you smell the right partner and the body knows that the chances of begetting healthy children are high) or as a result of self-talk (when the mind detects what you currently perceive as a perfect mate and so you intellectually conclude he’s the right match).

    Once a suitable target is in the view, a thought of making a move starts bugging you. There’s always so much effort required to chat up a suitable stranger. That’s because it’s unnatural. It incurs karma if you do so, because you now alter someone’s life. The natural way to get into the perfect relationship is to let Life find you a mate. You can’t do so if you worry that you won’t find anyone, and you prevent Life from bringing you the perfect person if you’re impatient and don’t trust the process.

    Only if you totally trust that at the right time the perfect person will come into your life (and by that I don’t mean he or she will stay with you forever – that’s again a scenario from a romantic movie which is responsible for many bitter divorces) he or she will surely do. Just put all of yourself into LIFE, go where it takes you, do not resist but enjoy all the lessons it throws at you – and all the people you’re supposed to cross paths with will surely come into your life. It’s the constant struggle and resistance that prevents people from opening up to life and letting life bring all the goodness. It’s the distrust of the natural processes of life that makes us force ourselves to go out and make stuff happen instead of going with the flow, following the heart rather than the ego, and attracting perfect people.

    It takes lots of energy to keep this unnatural struggle, and it doesn’t benefit anyone. See what life has for you, meet everything with courage and faith in yourself, open up to life and do not resist. This way you’ll quickly get into the flow, meeting all the people you are supposed to meet. So although 99% of people think it’s normal to chat up a good-looking girl, or to seduce a fit guy, I don’t think it’s beneficial to anyone. I think that just creates unnecessary karma and ties you with yet another new person with whom it will take many lifetimes to untie the bond.

    It’s better, therefore, to let Life be your matchmaker. It will connect you with the people you already have bonds with from past lives, and you will not believe how deep such relationships can be. You’ll have a chance to work out what you’re supposed to work out, and you will feel that you’re at the right place and with the right person. This will put you at ease – you’ll be able to live life in peace, instead of worrying about your future and being unsure if you’re on the right road. Your worry prevents you from meeting the person who can love you deeply. Open up to life and forget about time. You’ll get your match at the perfect time if you let Life, instead of the little ego, to direct your moves.

    What do I mean by letting Life direct your moves? I mean following your heart that’s connected to All That Is – Life. Following your heart doesn’t mean following emotions being the results of a mechanical mind. It’s more subtle than that – it’s tuning into your Soul, where compassion, conscience and unconditional love is. And to be connected to your heart, to feel it, you need to stay in solitude, meditate, do slow yoga synchronized with breath or try other practices which let you understand yourself better. Without being connected to your Heart that’s connected to All Life, you’re like a blind person following a capricious ego. It won’t lead you anywhere good and you’ll make many unnecessary mistakes. See the world, therefore, through your heart, and let Life gradually reveal what relationships this earthly experience has in store for you.

    Article by Simona Rich

  • an interesting article, thank you Captain...

  • this one down. LOL. I no longer search, look or worry about finding the perfect mate. Still single after 4 years and while it would certainly be appreciated, I have learned to trust in the process. I'm okay just the way I am. 🙂

  • AB, what subconscious love message would you say you project? The answer lies in your reality - if there is no one in your life, then you don't either want or need them to be. Maybe you don't want the hassle that can come with a relationship?

  • Subconscious love message is that if you force it, it's not going to be authentic. If it happens, I'll be thrilled but I'm not going out looking for it. I forced it last time and it got me back to the same place I was before. This time I'm just going to trust that when that person shows up, if they show up, it will be because it was supposed to happen, not because I was lonely and wanting to be with someone. I won't ever do the dating sites again because as it was mentioned, I think that is forcing it. I know it has worked wonders for other people but I haven't had much luck with it and I think when you start looking there you start judging people on whether or not you are attracted to them by their profile. I'd just rather meet someone in my every day life and connect. Not put some wish list out on the internet and hope someone decides to adjust their personality to try and fit with my ideals. Be who you are and see what happens. 🙂


  • Hi Blmoon! Long time away from here. How are you?

  • I know society puts a lot of emphasis on marriage. The family is the major unit of society. A lot of people think it's strange or unusual being single. I'm happy being single. Like you said, mainly because I'm always busy. For me, there's a lot of peace that goes a long with being single. I may, in time, find someone and I may not. I'm fine with that and don't have any expectations.

  • Many people are married and single at the same time ; ) ! think either way the goal is to be whole.

  • What a great article ! Thanks for sharing.

  • I agrea with let life be the matchmaker. On the other hand it sounds too passive. I mean you can't just sit and wait for one to come to you. If we all sit and wait then all will be sitted. So there should be a bit of effort into looking for your heart's desire. Finding the mid way to it is the trick. I was dating someone over the summer. When time came i confessed to him that i have herpes. He run away. So my conclusion was that i am not going to wait for another similiar case but get myself started to dating on line with similiar problems as mine. I used to be so against dating on line thing before, but the summer incident changed my opinionated self. I still feel i am not forcing anything. I am taking it slow and kind of passive in here also but i am not sitting at least. We should keep our chances open and not just sit and wait. B

  • I think everyone has to follow their own intuition.....but that is not easy as DESIRE can mess with clarity. As for sitting....nothing on any level comes knocking on your door with out your commitment to intention. Most people meet someone while not looking.....THEY ATTRACT someone while they are busy living their bliss. This means they are in an authentic state and more likely to attract the person who loves who they really are. Do not go out looking just get out their doing what you love and the right people will notice. BLESSINGS!

  • Sitting around and waiting - it doesn't mean actually staying at home but not focusing on what you THINK you need to the point where you exclude everything else in life. Even the Law of Attraction says to state what you want, then forget it, being confident that the Universe will bring it to you if you really need it.

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