I have been mourning the loss of my Sagittarius soul mate. I don't understand why he was brought to me and to be taken away a little over a year later. He was born 12/2/72 and passed away 12/11/13. We knew each for several years because we went to school together but never rally knew each other. We began talking to each other in 2011 after all these years. In September of 2012, I decided to give him a chance. I spent the night with him and I knew the next day that he was the one I had been looking for all these years. As we were discovering each other we both realized we watched the same movies over and over, interested in the same types of books, we could banter with each other and not get angry, we both thought quickly, we could laugh at each other and have fun, we both loved the same type of music, and discuss anything. As of a today, he has been gone for 9 months and it feels like he just left.
The day he passed away I woke up with a bad feeling. I feel guilty because I should have stayed home with him instead of going to work because the feeling. I was a little late coming home that evening and that is when I found him. I panicked but was able to call 911 but they were unable to bring him back. He died of a heart attack. The 11th of every month is just a bad day for me.
I know he is still with me in my heart but I do feel his presence from time to time. This may just be wishful thinking but I truly believe he is around. He has a daughter that he raised with the help of his mother. Any time she is having problems he lets me know either in my dreams or I will see signs that something is happening. With the dreams and signs I know I need to pay attention because something is about to be revealed to me.
I really don't know what to think about all of this other than I know I miss him a lot. I know there isn't a time limit on mourning. He and I did discuss how I would react in The event of his death. I believe we both knew and I know I did want to think about it. I did tell him I would keep moving and I am. It isn't easy. All the signs were there but I did not understand what was being shown to me.
I know I am rambling and I need to get this out. The signs I mentioned were knocking on the front door that I heard when I was a lone, he heard it by himself, and we both heard when we were together. I don't know if this makes any difference we are both Native American. His beliefs were more logical and I am more open-minded.
I really don't know what I am seeking right now. All I know his death really shook the foundation that I believed in and I am struggling to get back. I really don't know if I really will get back to that point. I was generally a happy person and when he came into my life I had never been so happy. It isn't the same any more and I want him back. It will never be the sMe again.
moonalisa last edited by
I am so sorry for your loss Hokte, there is no time limit for loss all I know it does get easier as time goes on. We are here for you. All you can do is to keep moving forward and everything happens for a reason. Cherish the memories of him
love light and many many blessings
Hokte, I feel you have several different emotions mixed in here that all need to be worked through separately - sadness and grief, guilt for ignoring the signs, and the loss of part of yourself - for that is what this soulmate was to you, a part of you that so resembled you as to be very safe and familiar. So it is like your own death has occurred. Other soulmates are totally unlike us yet we are drawn to them because we need to learn about compatible differences and what we need to bring out in ourselves that we might not know exists. There will be another type of soulmate for you but only if you don't close down your heart to him. Plus your grief makes it difficult for your soulmate on the other side to send you messages that he is OK.
How are you doing now?
How wonderful and blessed you are to have found someone and experienced a joy that some people never know in their lifetime.
Your soulmate is still with you in spirit dear.
Just looked up an article on knocking-
"There's an old superstition that says if you hear three knocks that seemingly have no cause, someone you know will die. "
Perhaps this was spirit letting you know.
You will be together again when the timing is right dear soul. Until then, there will come a time when you can look back and appreciate the gift of having them in your life with less pain.