Blmoon, I have a question



  • Dear Blmoon,

    Well, It has been awhile since I posted, been trying to just let life happen, but I sometimes need a push from you.

    My stomach problems ended up being pretty bad. I have ulcerative colitis and will have it for the rest of my life.

    I have a good doctor and I take pills every day, so the pain isn't bad anymore, but it still sucks. I have to be very careful what I eat and I have lost a lot of weight so I am drinking ensure and trying to be better.

    I wanted to ask you about my flirt. Remember him, well he still comes in and half the time he flirts and the other half he acts like I am not there.

    The other day he stood behind me for awhile waiting for me to be free to talk so I wrote down my phone number and gave it to him.

    I figured if he calls its on if not I am done.

    Now I almost wish I hadn't because I am scared, I don't know if I can take more rejection in my life.

    Will he call?



  • NANCY!

    I had been thinking about you! I did not know how your stomach issue played out. I was assured it was nothing you could not get through and it was not cancer. My impression was it was diet and stress related. I am so sorry you have to deal with a painful illness. As if you have not dealt with enough pain. A lot of extra sensitive people deal with illnesses that are stress sensitive. I'm glad you got the nerve to just give the flirt your number and speak up already. Yes it is brave but only if you let your ego do the talking. He's a stranger so what does it matter.....you are not a teenager...you are a grown s woman who's been through it all and do not have room for games or men who seduce then pretend they don't care. Trust your gut Nancy, You are not imagining his interest. And he's teased you a long while. You being scared is what comes with opening up for someone. Now is HE brave enough to match you....you have to test all attractions in a bold up front manner because of your history of carrying all the weight of a relationship...doing too much of the work. I do not think he had a plan of what if she gives me her number. I think he is slow. I think he's scared. I think after flirting he got scared he'd made a fool of himself. I do not see him going away and you never said but I am assuming you established weather he is married or has a live in. I do not pick up on him very strongly, often, that happens when a person is guarded and reserved...have a bit of a wall around him. What do you sense about him? Do you feel like you have to draw him out of himself, as if he wants to say something but hides behind chit chat? Often guarded men are drawn to woman they feel are sensitive and intuitive and this takes pressure off of him. Since he's hard for me to read.....tell me something about him that stands out or something he said that sticks in his mind. That might help me get to him through you. BLESSINGS!



  • Dear Blmoon,

    WEll he waited 3 days and then he called, we had a great talk for over an hour. We talked about so many things. He has been divorced for over 10 years and lives only with his 18 year old son, who gives him a lot of trouble.

    He used to work out a lot and do ty quan do, but now has back issues he says because of his age.

    He comes in the store and always looks for me but about half the time says hi and walks past, and sometimes stops and talks for awhile.

    I haven't seen or heard from him since the call 4 days ago.

    I really was hopeful when he called that he would ask me out, but nothing.

    I just got a call awhile ago from a CO WORKER TELLING ME MY NICE BOSS cELEST WAS FIRED TODAY AND NOW I WORK FOR THE MEAN YOUNG GIRL WHO HARRASES ME.

    I TALKED TO cELEST AND HER BOSS YESTERDAY AND THEY BOTHsaid they would tell her to back off, but now what.

    Sorry about the caps



  • I had a feeling he already called and I get his vibe now from what you say. My first thought was he is SLOW. And I get a validation on that. He is lonely yet feels awkward at maneuvering relationships. He does require someone who speaks up and holds him accountable for intentions...otherwise he will be hard for others to read. I get anger issues off of his son but Spirit says he is mostly a normal teen but with little support or guidance. He acts out in immature ways. Only, he is not a small child so his acting out is headed towards more adult trouble. His father bails him out then gets disrespect for it ....really they do not communicate well. This man is insecure. He enjoyed the phone call very much yet then he sits there not sure if YOU liked him. He lives in his head a lot. His son feels angry when his father ignores issues and craves a deeper connection....they are a bit afraid of each other as far as getting hurt. Spirit shows me his son slamming a door screaming "WHO ARE YOU?!" . What I get is a communication problem. Your friend has some regrets and guilt and lets his son cross the line.....disrespect him ...part of that is an 18 year old full of himself and part is your friend not setting boundaries. Your friend fears confrontation. To your son this comes off as being weak. I see his son as headed down a self destructive road for awhile.......he needs to learn some things. And to release anger. There is a past nurturing missing for him but it was not dealt with. Spirit says for you it's time to use what you have learned rising above your husband and make wise choices. You can not change your "kind of man" attraction. BUT you can choose a higher evolved version. Meaning you will probably always attract the shy ones who turn it on and off. But you can demand a newer version that is aware of it and owns it instead of insisting you deny your feelings. Because you are big hearted and sensitive you will always need to have strong boundaries. I think boundary enforcing is still on your plate......and that boil of a boss on your lovely S challenges you. That girl has some kind of ACE in her pocket. There are a lot of politics in your company. Being told to back off by others is not going to change much, in fact she will resent it and try sly ways of sticking it too you that isn't in the light. She will be sneaky about it and keep her behavior within the line of company rules. I know this will EAT at you internally but you must find away to not let the BULLY get to you. Just like children on the play ground. You must not buy into her illusion of power...in fact beyond her fake authority is a very miserable person. Her behavior does not go unpunished in a spiritual sense. When you wake in the morning you can pray to Saint Michael to help you with this situation....he is available everyday and will help you as he is specially their for those who need protection and are doing the work to learn how to protect themselves and learn skills to diffuse the BULLY lie. So, pray to him to be with you through another day and help you solve this issue. Spirit says your weapon with her is to be non emotional...that is hard for you but once a bully gets that they are invisible and even pitied they move on. She feeds off of getting a rise out of others because trapped in her is a very fearful little girl. People who are too nice get to her, make her very uncomfortable. Use your HEAD with her Nancy, practice detachment. the next time you FEEL her zeroing in on you.....you are very psychic at times....really look at her and listen to your POWER above her and you will get info from your head how to manipulate HER to back off. A lot of your challenge is expanding on the silent world of energy and inner power. You are not a victim....you did not survive this far by living in that energy. Just see her as an opportunity to get more power practice and do not see it as losing little battles but you winning the war...just like with Ron. Do not let a bad day, or a defeat throw you off, persist! Believe that you are capable of having a PRESENCE. And people respond accordingly. The man friend is a good example...he knew nothing about you yet he picked up your presence as a woman who is big hearted, generous to a fault when in love and a person who will feel emotions another can't express. You are a hard worker! Use this relationship to become the new you that can still be big hearted but not get stuck in carrying the extra weight for a man. You want fifty fifty. This means you will have to speak up over the little things instead of waking up one day and realizing all the little things you let go turned into a big thing. When he talks to you again you must say the truth......you enjoyed the phone call and hoped to hear from him sooner. ......you are new to the dating thing and part of your issues with your x had to do with communication and you have vowed to not get caught up in future situations were you had to wast energy and time guessing. Say that you assumed he was interested in a casual date and if he did not call he decided he was no longer interested. Ask him if that is true. Do not let him get away with not communicating. If he runs, then you dodged a bullet. It does not mean something was wrong with you. It would mean he has an issue he is unwilling to work on. It also sends out to the universe that you have that boundary, that you can love a man with that issue BUT he must own it out loud and work with you. What you can never agree to again is a man who denies his problems and pretends it's all in your head and you are wrong. Also, with this man avoid feeling sorry for him in any way, until you get a better picture of who he is. That way your heart will not betray you to invest in his lie. He lies to himself sometimes to avoid confrontations and your detached perspective can help him. If he is willing to be open with your questions....you can help him grow and he can help you put to action all you have learned. Spirit says he is a choice and regardless if he decides to WORK with you....another man will come along and present the same opportunity. From day one I have always seen a better man for you. BLESSINGS!



  • Dear Blmoon,

    Wow I don't don't know what it is about him, he just makes me smile whan I see him I light up.

    I am not sure what it is, but he is the first man my age besides Ron that I have been attracted to and I was really hopeful he was going to make me feel things I don't think I will feel again.

    I can't imagine being in love and I really am not sure I have ever been loved the way I want to be.

    I was so happy when he called I was walking on air for days, then he never called back and has only been in the store when I aM not there.

    He doesn't know my days off or my shifts, but he usually comes in on the weekends and once or twice a week.

    He asked me a lot of questions about myself, where do I live, what kind of car I drive, do I have brothers and sisters, about my sons, he seemed to be interested, but then nothing.

    My friend at work says he came in yesterday looking nice, fresh out of the shower and without his usual baseball hat, and she thinks he was looking for me, but I wasn't there so he left.

    Why doesn't he just call me again.

    I am going on vacation in a few days and was hoping to get a date in before I left, so I could be looking forward to something in my life .



  • He is insecure and doesn't communicate. He isn't sure after the phone call if you are still interested. That's why when you do meet again you must get to the point and tell him you expected he'd call again. He needs to get past his fear of rejection. Did he give you his number? It's ok to call him and say, I heard you came in looking extra handsome yesterday, sorry I missed you, I was starting to think after our phone call you were no longer interested. Don't wait on him Nancy. Keep it in the open. He has to be more brave. He was most likely going to read your reception at the store then ask you out. When he asks you out keep it a public date for awhile. You will see him before you go on vacation. Have a peaceful fun vacation! BLESSINGS!



  • Dear lmoon,

    How can he be so good loking and shy at the same time?

    Tommorrow is the last day I work before I leave for a week so I hope you are right about him coming in.

    I sent him a text a couple days after he called and it seemed he doesn't like to text, his answers were one worded so I sent him a smily wink and stopped.

    I fear rejection so I don't want to push it, but like I said something about him makes me smile.



  • Good observation! That is smart to to see from a distance "contradictions". . You should write down all the reasons why a handsome man would be shy and unattached.What relationship blocks does he put out there. Do not fear rejection so much you alter or sense yourself. Be yourself or you'll go down that pleaser road. It's one thing to respect his boundaries but he needs to be equally giving by considering your comfort zone and you need honest communication...no trying to think for him or be fearful you got to close.....he has to tell you , what he WANTS and what he DOESN'T. You know what you want. An honest man who doesn't censure you in exchange for love. Just be true to yourself and enjoy, having spark....it's not a fool thing....you are happiest when loving and showing it........you are a good person and to find the man who lets you love big is your entitlement! BLESSINGS!



  • I meant do not censure yourself!



  • Dear Blmoon,

    WEll I don't know what to say, he didn't come in the store today, so I guess I will have to wait to see what happens.

    It has been a whole week now since his call and I was really surehe would come in sometime this week to see me, and he didn't.

    Sometimes he goes awhilw without coming in, but this is a long time.

    I hope I am not the reason

    Oh well vacation strats tomorrow and I will try not to think about it too much.



  • It's not you Nancy...it's him. He did not just decide you turned him off. This is why he is not in a relationship. It's him. He fears rejection. He did come in on your day off....got himself all anxious then pulled back. I feel he did go to the store but then chickened out and left. Do not think about it. Enjoy your trip.......be sociable. Meet some strangers and make friends. BLESSINGS!



  • Dear Blmoon,

    WEll vacation was great, we had some good thunder and lightning storms and giant hail balls the first 2 days and then perfect beach weather the rest of the week.

    We gambled, walked shopped ate out cook toghether and had a blast.

    I must say I am very disappointed in Allen, when I got back he came in the store and right over to me. I asked him if I needed to write my number down for him again since he didn't call and he said you could call me. That night when I got off work there was a message from him saying he needed a massage , and I text back and said why don't you ask me out so we could get to know each other better.

    He said what are you afraid, isn't this what you want aand we could get to know each other like that.

    I hoped he was just teasing and a few days later I text him and asked him why don't you take me on a date.

    I got no reply so a couple of hours later I text and said hey did you not get my message or do you just suck

    He said well if you say that already I guess I suck

    I said I had really hoped he didn't

    He said you know I am a busy man excuse me for not jumping on my phone the minute you text me.

    I sent him a smiley face with the tongue stuck out and that's it we are done before I even got A date.

    I must say it really depressed me, I give up I can't take any more rejection or pain.



  • I think you handled that well! Yes it s ucks, but it is HIS problem. He may have been interested but he wants you to do all the work! And you been there done that and even bought the T shirt ; ).......he is not your only option in your new life and this is the dating world now for you and yes you must weed out the fruits and nuts and creeps. Each time you honor your truth it sends a message to the universe where your boundary lies. I'm proud of you for not being so needy you would indulge his lazy demands. I see this as a positive event although it stings. Do not settle for anything that is not who you are. Please do not give up....that is your POWER. You were not rejected...he was obviously attracted to you and you to him but the man has ISSUES. He was hoping you would accept his rules of comfort. Have your disappointment then brush it off. if he still continues to be conflicted and go hot and cold....stick to your sense that YOU deserve better and you are a real catch....for the right man. I'm proud of how you spoke up for yourself. Being honest will weed out the game players. Your man will come........it's like shopping for shoes and not finding a thing that fits or wows you......you take a break ...wait until you get what you want. BLESSINGS! Choose the perspective on this disappointment that LOVES YOU BACK!.



  • Dear Blmoon,

    Yes your right it sucks and I do have the t-shirt and the poster.

    He came in the store yesterday, I saw him looking for me a few times, and he came through my self check only to completely ignore me and walk past without a word.

    What a jerk, I don't understand why someone like me has such a hard time with men, but you know I really think they are more trouble then joy at this point.

    I don't really believe I will ever love again, but I'm okay most the time.

    Ther are men who flirt with me, but I am not attracted to them, I guess I like men who are too good looking for me.



  • Have you ever been shopping and found a pair of shoes to die for? So "wow" good looking you hurriedly tried them on and yippee bought them?. Then you wear them and realize they have some horrible affliction......maybe every time you wear them your knee hurts, or your back or worse they make noise with every steep! GOOD LOOKING is over rated!!! Use this lazy man to sharpen your shopping skills......to practice boundaries and patience and entitlement to choose a good fit that does not hurt or irritate you or drive you nuts. It's all good really......keep the PERSPECTIVE that always loves you back. Be proud of yourself for not giving in to this man....he's wanting you to feel rejected so he can be lazy....no games! No games, no games. Click your ruby slippers and repeat! Your company is worth a nice date. He can pay for a good message if that's his intention. BLESSINGS!



  • PS.....I mean he should go to a parlor..........not bother you with a very out of line request after a single phone hookup! REALLY DUDE?