Two queries on current home situation and my role in it



  • Hi friends,

    I would really appreciate if any of you could shed some light on the situation at home going on currently. My father and mother wish to move out of their home to a new place. They have found it and even paid up for it but cannot move until the lease amount of the current house is returned. The current owner has no money and is waiting for someone else to lease out this place so that he can return our money. A number of unpleasant things have occurred in trying to get this sorted until all of us have just decided to let things flow on their own and life take its course. I just want to know why this is happening? I have always seen my mother and father undergo extreme hardships while moving houses in the past. Is it just to do with their attitudes (which I know are negative and insecure) or is there something else I'm missing in the bigger picture? I do not live with them bit try my best to provide support whenever I can. I just want to know what exactly is my role and place in all this? Am I also, in some way perpetrating this stalemate of the home situation?

    Something else I'd like to ask. We've sort of had a history of things disappearing without reason very since I remember. It is generally sporadic n once in a while but now in this past fifteen days we've had three things disappearing into thin air back to back (a brand new vessel, the USB wire of my phone charger with the plug left behind, and parts of a dress belonging to my sister). We've eliminated the possibility of theft and hence I wonder what's up? And is it related to the overall financial stalemate?



  • A landlord does not have to return a security deposit until the renters actually vacate the premises. So it is not his problem but your parent's - thus it is no good just doing nothing. Is there any way your parents can stay with someone until the 21 days have passed during which a landlord must legally return the deposit? Can they borrow money to move into their new home? Once they move out, the responsibility falls on the landlord to repay the deposit. Certainly having negative attitudes about the situation will only keep your parents stuck in it. They are stuck becasue part of them gets stuck in the past and blocks a smooth move from place to place. If they could fully let go of the memories and the past, they could easily move on. They also need to lose a fear of change. They need to have faith, hope and trust in their hearts rather than disbelief and despair. Darkness only attracts more darkness. This is their responsibility to deal with, not yours but of course you can offer to help if you can.

    The missing items are a sign/message from the angels to 'let go' of material objects and materialistic thinking and put more focus into spirituality, people and love, rather than possessions. There is a smaller more particular message for each owner of the disappearing items (like the USB wire for the phone asks you to reflect on how you communicate with others). Once the message is received, the items would no longer have to be lost.



  • Thanks Captain. I hear you about the missing items. The communication bit is something to think about...never thought required to relook it. But now that I know I will.

    The rental system here in India works a bit differently. Both parties give each other a 1-3 months notice period at the time of vacating after which the finances have to be settled and tenants have to move out. In our case, three months are up a while back and dad has found a new house and paid up fully for it. (He took a loan for it).The house we are currently living in is on a 3 yr lease taken by paying an amount of 7 lakh upfront with no rent for 3 yrs which is how lease system here works. At the end of the said time either contract is renewed and tenants continue staying on or if they do not want to continue then the owner returns the entire amount (minus damages cost to property). In our case our owner says he doesn't have that kind of money to give us until he finds a new tenant for this house willing to take it on lease. He can pay us only after he receives lease money from new tenants. The wait is becoming endless. We can move into the new house right away but carry the risk of the current owner going slack on the repayment amount in. Also it is an accepted practice between tenants and landlords here that tenants move out only after the deposit is returned and that happens only at the end of the notice period. The indefinite wait and the uncertainty is pretty unsettling with no real sign of anything letting up in the near future. Hence the query if we were overlooking something here and why were we creating these circumstances for ourselves, difficult ones yet again.



  • Sorry but I feel the owner of your current house CAN afford to pay up, but is trying to cheat your parents by making them get fed up with waiting for him to repay them and leave. I don't feel he is actively looking for new tenants. You may have to cut your losses and move into the new home without the payment. At least the waiting will be at an end. I am not sure if you have any legal recourse to pursue the old owner for the money since I don't know the system over there. I do feel some assertion of will is necessary but I don't feel your parents are up to it. This situation occurs in order for them to become assertive about their rights.