Would appreciate a reading regarding love/relationship issue



  • Im enganged to my fiancé that I have been w/for 3 years. We are happily in love and look forward to spending the rest of our lives together. The only issue I have is our sex life. From the beginning is has been less then great for me. For him its the best he ever had. I have have a great imagination and have tried different things to no avail. For some reason its just not satisfying from a physical aspect. He does have some issue w/stamina and I thought that could be the problem. But even one those rare occasions where his stamina is better the experience still ends with me being frustrated. I don't understand whats wrong, whether its me or him, or both. With partners in the past, I only had this problem with only one other person. other then that I never had trouble with my intimate life. My fiancé knows that this is an issue has has mentioned that needs medication but Im not totally sure if that's the totally the issue, but definitely part of it. I want so bad for our intimate life to be as good for me as it is for him. I love him with all my heart, and I feel at a total loss as what to do. I think I could come up with a solution if I only had better idea what the cause is. I feel that is doesn't have anything to do with state of mind/psychological, but something more phycial/mechanical. Im sorry if this post is TMI, too personal, but this a problem I really want to solve and not sure where to turn



  • Have you tried telling him (and showing him step-by-step if necessary) exactly how you want to be pleasured? Because men are not mind readers and are often clueless about women and what they want so you have to be honest and clear..



  • Yes we have experimented with that. My 1st two partners in life everything was great, but the last 3 I have had it seems as though they havnt been how do I put this "anatomically gifted". but after doing research they say that most men are average so I figure maybe its just must my imagination. We do try different positions, but we can only do 1 at a time is since lovemaking usually only last a couple minutes with him, so it can be tricky. but I never give up



  • Has your partner been checked out for any medical condition, given his lack of stamina? Premature ejaculation can be fixed - there is a lot of information about it on the net or your doctor could probably tell you more.



  • No he hasn't but he does believe he may need medication. however he doesn't have health insurance and we just cant afford it at this time. Im hoping someday he will be able to



  • Using a condom can slow down a man's orgasm.The woman can also learn to apply strategic perineum pressure or the testes tug to stop ejaculation. Penetration does not even need to occur for a woman to find pleasure in sexual connection. There are many pleasure centres all over her body and reading books like the Kama Sutra can be of great help.



  • **** = orgas*m.



  • yes we have been using condom, seems to help a little. But there have been times when he did last longer still to no avail. See I think my issue dates back before my fiancé. The 1st two partners I had everything was great, and one of them was a virgin with no bedroom skills whatsoever. the last couple partners I had, including my fiancé it struck me that they were not well endowed enough, cause even in positions were the woman does all the work it still wasn't enough, I just didn't feel it enough. But the chances that I could be that unlucky didn't seem likely so Im wondering if its me maybe my anatomy is just larger then average. Im gonna start doing kegels and considering purchasing those kegel weights they have out now. Im hoping that will help. I just don't know to approach a situation in where Im not even sure what the problem is! My fiancé does a great job satisfying me in other ways, but for me having orgasm during lovemaking is the best and my all time favorite. Iv always been a sexual person( im a scorpio) lol we have karma sutra board games, playing cards, books lol. But this one thing missing is taking a toll on my sexual health, feeling frustrated all the times. Im feeling left out and even started having sexually deviant dreams. I love my fiancé and im faithful and true to the end, or else we wouldn't made it this far, but I feel defeated and confused as to what is wrong. andi know it isn't me physically.



  • Are you able to bring yourself to orgas*m on your own? If so, then it has nothing to do with your partner's endowment (or lack of it) but everything to do with technique.



  • May I pop in? Does it feel like your partner is trying too hard....as in work.......and that he doesn't get lost enough in excitement....the big spark because a woman can get distracted by that. What I mean is he out of shape and is not as energetic and strong as you. Does he lack the level of energy to match yours. This kind of thing is something hard to define. He may be willing but is he lost in the passion. There is a difference. If inter course is not energetic enough to include clitor is stimulation you can do that part yourself . But I get the feeling you know that. Also some very good man have issues with intimacy and go into their own world during the act and some woman can feel that detachment and not all are happy. Scorpios are generally very good at figuring out this stuff....I think you do have some ideas about the real problem but feel a bit guilty about hurting his feelings.



  • It seems like sex doesn't feel like a tight fit. we are very passionate with one another and foreplay is wonderful. im gonna try kegel exercise and hope that helps. as for as sex not lasting long, we are trying as much as we can, but we both believe he needs to see a doctor, he said he has had that issue his whole life.



  • From what you say....it is none of the other issues and if he says he has had this all his life then you are right , he needs to see a doctor. You are lucky he is cooperative as that is hard for a man.....just the thought or worry of being hard enough can cause the problem. Men do not talk about those things but it is more conman than he knows. Artery disease can affect that issue so he should get checked. You will get it solved as long as you can communicate and he doesn't take it personal. It's a nice thing that he doesn't blame you! BLESSINGS!



  • yes I am able to satisfy myself when I use my "toy" but I wouldn't use it as a comparison cause there is a noticeable size difference and of course a toy can last as long as you want it to. Iv been trying my all time favorite position which is me on top since its a position where the woman does all the work so it gives me control which does give me more stimulation then other positions but I still have hard time feeling him inside me. Im thinking about investing in the vaginal weights they have out now, have you ever heard of them? do you thik it will help. It sure cant hurt any. any it is good for stress incontinence which I do have, every time I sneeze or cough hard



  • I do not think it is you. It is him. He needs to see a doctor. It's not about size. He is going soft. Either it is physical and it can be a sign of artery disease he doesn't know about or it is mental....he may get distracted by thinking about it. I do not think you exercising will solve it......not that exercise is not good for intensifying the O. You should go together and see a urologists.



  • You can strengthen yourself internally by tightening then releasing the muscles that you use to stop yourself from peeing. Do this as much as you can.



  • It's a rather odd quirk of nature that a man's sexual drive peaks in their teens and from there goes downward while a woman's sexual peak is much later in their thirties or beyond. So there can be a disparity there. Also try not to compare your ex-lovers to your present one, since their performances now might be the same as your partner's because of age or health factors.



  • well the good thing is doesn't go soft during lovemaking he just doesn't last as long. the reason why I felt like it was possible that it could partly be me is cause with my last few partners it has felt as though they were too small as well, and they say the average man is big enough. my doc said that loss of pelvic tone can affect love life which I know I have lossed pelvic tone cause my stress incontinence has gotten worse, so the kegal excercises were recommended by my obgyn, he said the stronger muscle will improve love life a little. As for my fiancé going to the doctor that will be ways down the road, we are soo behind in bills, debt, the poor guy has had 2 infected wisdom teeth for 4 months now, and we cant even afford to get that taken care. so in meantime we are trying natural, healthy means to improve overall health. He did quit smoking in January but money problems caused him to relapse, he has the nicotine gum from last time but when he tried chewing it he had agonizing pain in his teeth. Im hoping once I get into my veterinary filed which should be soon, start making better money, saving, and get caught up and move, then we can start saving for health insurance for both of us.



  • Very good point, havnt thought much about that. my past relationships were at younger age, mid twenties. My fiancé is a smoker as well, he quit in January but relapsed after money problems became overwhelming. he has 2 infected wisdom teeth for 4 months now, so every time he tries to chew his nicotine gum he has terrible pain. im hoping we can get up with fiances and get on track to saving for health insurance for both of us.



  • Infected wisdom teeth can kill you. Now I know why I felt mostly the urge he needs a doctor. This is not a judgement call. My mate was stubborn as well about his teeth (he now has dentures) and smoking long term does cause gum disease. An abscessed tooth can infect the heart with bacteria. But worse are the wisdom teeth's position to the brain. I am not being dramatic...look it up on the internet. People do die from neglected tooth infections. Our dentist will not even deal with wisdom teeth because of the risk. I think you are not aware of the true danger. Show up at an emergency dental clinic and try making arrangements. An infection for months is hard on the body. . Every county has a clinic for the poor...including dental. Dental schools offer free and discounted services. Please call around as a good hearted dentist may help you if you tell him he has abscessed wisdom teeth. I know you would find help if you really understood this is not about just discomfort. Please google infected wisdom teeth and the danger. PLEASE.



  • You could perhaps try universities or dental schools or somewhere that they have trainee dentists who might work on your partner (supervised of course by qualified dentists) for free or almost.