Please help me know the fate of this relationship!
hi dear readers
can you please help me understand where i am headed in this relationship with my husband(R)? we have struggled a great deal to reach where we are today, but i have felt being betrayed by him and everyone around me for that matter.i am trying to come to terms with reality and seems have succeeded in doing so to some extent! but past keeps haunting me and i fear that all will come back again as we are two very different people and tend to disagree a lot on everyday issues. it brings negativity into the relationship very often.do you see us in this relationship for life and that my fears are baseless? or i should better not keep my hopes high and save me another heartache?
i would really appreciate your insight! i am clueless about how to proceed and what to keep in mind!
thanks a lot for reading me!
Spirit says KARMA. A lot of the intensity and push and pull of this relationship is manifestation of your resistance or progress. Either way you feel the resistance! If you just get passive and live with it your boundaries get stepped over. If you build strong boundaries you get a hammer at your wall. The result is feeling trapped. You are feeling the need for CHANGE. Your mate was chosen by you before birth to boot camp you towards your most powerful self, and purpose. He as well grows accordingly. Spirit says, YOU lead. Even when you do not feel it YOU truly have the power in this relationship. THAT is why you get so much contrary resistance from him, If you change he HAS to to keep you and he does really have that kind of love but he only does what he has to. He was gifted with a charm to get his own way and too easily. He can manipulate and that gift can either make a honorable leader or a lazy man who gets his way for his own comfort zone. Spirit emphasizes COMFORT ZONE. You both need to find your way out of your comfort zones to find full potential. The fact you two are different people is not what predicts success or failure. Opposites can have lifetime marriages. When you feel trapped by others, change your perspective. What is this situation asking from you? Change only comes by doing something different. That is scary, but spirit so wants you to rise above your challenges so the first step may be scary but your guides will open the doors and guide you as long as you stay looking forward. Right now all that looking back has you stagnate. Your nature is very miserable there! You are independent and not in your power when feeling held back. Right now HE is leading and that must change. You lead and will always be the one to leap up first spiritually and he will follow........or not. See, the scary part is you can not be in power and know that, he will not respond if you make it too easy. The key is not to tug war WITH him but to live your life with goals and achievements and boundaries and expect him to keep up. You know you are meant for more. So is he. He fears you growing powerful as he will have to dazzle you and work . As he ages his present pattern of slack S ing towards his own potential will be harder to pull off. Charming is a young man's game. With him or without him you will still be thrown the same challenge so it's free will. You are being pushed and painfully inspired to surrender to your fear of being alone and making a mistake. You fear setting boundaries that may create a mistake....that is a core roadblock for you. the WHAT IFS. You do not easily forgive yourself. Regrets s uck you dry and you can not move forward. Stop focusing on you and him for now and change your perspective and by leading the way he will change. Stop yourself when you go back to the past....stop yourself when in regret...stop any bad thoughts period. THAT is all the control you have. No one knows if their marriage is forever but they do not live under that fear and personal y prosper. Your perspective is of INVESTING in HIM only to lose. How can you change that? It is a sign of giving too much. Address that side of you that gives too much...regrets....then self loathes. BALANCE is your goal. When you feel him in controlling your happy meter it's time to take a break and enjoy some other bliss. It is hard as you will feel no energy to do that when you are under an emotional weight but once you get outside your head and use your head to partake in the events and activities that feed your bliss you will not feel so trapped by the unhappiness factor. AND once he gets that keeping you within emotional reach will not work and you will GO GET happiness he will change the pattern. Spirit says think CHANGE. Change does not need to be one great big event but comes with the small things that say ...I love myself. With him...for you to truly be in power and free to blossom he must need you more and if you can understand that he does but feels safer you do not believe that then your moving in the right direction. I am seeing the ACCEPTANCE card and the card saying if you let go of desired expectations you will get what you want. And the third card says it is time to walk away from this unhealthy situation. Set some goals and focus forward and let your energy manifest......stop checking if he's behind you. YOU LEAD. But you lack confidence. There are no mistakes! just lessons. Be kind to yourself! BLOSSOMS and BLESSINGS!
I MEANT HE HAS TO ...KEEP UP WITH YOU!
i must say that this is one of the most comprehensive and detailed readings i have ever got on this board or anywhere on the web. i am just so surprised by the way you have put things together in this long message. it seems you read my mind and his mind and our situation and put in all absolutely perfectly in a gist in here. everything that you have described about my situation is perfectly true. this is how exactly things are between us.
the only question that i keep asking myself is why we are together if we are so different? why do we have to put up with so much of anger and guilt when we are not on the same wavelength? why are we hurting each other? i blame myself more than i do him, because somewhere i feel that i am more aware of where it all is coming from and why is it happening and he is unaware of OTHER REALITY that is keeping us together. that makes me be protective towards him
but i tend to criticize myself a lot! i don't want to bug anyone, this is one thing that i hate to do. but i end up doing the same to almost every one around me because i keep repressing my own feelings/emotions/fears/desires just to keep it harmonious and peaceful. but i end up bursting out every once in a while, may be because i don't have an outlet.
i'll keep everything you wrote in mind. i want to take control of my life and do what i feel is right. yes i want to go ahead and make things work in my life, without stepping into anyone's territory.i can totally relate to what you mean here.
thank you so much blmoon for the reading! it did for me what no other reading could do for a long time. if ever i could pay it back i would love to do so with all my heart! many blessings and love to you!