Captain, friendship/relationship reading, please
I hope you are well, it's been a long time. I want to thank you for the "cutting ties" visualization for dealing with my ex/son’s father, it truly helped and once the initial “hard phase” of shutting down all forms of communication passed I hadn’t felt that good and free in a really long time. Just a little update since last time we spoke.
Now for the reason I am reaching out in this particular forum. I met a man almost 6 months ago now, and we became fast friends, but there is that potential for more, but due to distance we cannot really explore that option, but we talk almost every day and to say he is special to me is a real understatement. I think we’re both at a point in our lives where we are really questioning who we are, what we’re supposed to do, and where we go from here – but him in very much a big way, he’s a very old soul and I am in no means psychic or gifted at all in that area but he’s meant to do something special while he’s here, but he feels very much alone and “abandoned” right now and I want to help, but just do not know how, it’s very hard for me and my “broken bird syndrome” to take over and swoop in to save the day of this lost cause (because he’s the furthest thing from that!) but I think with all of my other dealings with men that’s my autopilot response and it’s sad but I need to learn a more “normal” approach that doesn’t lead me becoming a typical Aries charging in to “save the day” because I know that is not my place, and not at all what he would ask or want from me. He inspires me so much and has done more for my soul and mind, and pushes me in all the right ways, I just want to let him know I’m there for him in the same way, but everything I come up with seems silly because I really have a propensity to overthink things to my demise.
And a little insight into our relationship/friendship would be greatly appreciated, here are our birthdates, and I’ll post mine again to save you having to go and look for it:
Mine: April 15, 1986
His: October, 28, 1988
AriesMama, it's great to hear you are moving on from your ex.
About your current relationship, this can be a very good matchup for love, provide it is carefully handled. I'm not sure you can remain just friends. It will be 'all or nothing'.
It's likely to be a vibrant and imaginative love match, though punctuated by the occasional blowup, since you are fiery and he is intense. The chemistry between you can be simultaneously mysterious and passionate. Both of you are extremely sexual beings and your love affair, which may be carried on in secret, can reach high peaks of desire and consummation. This comes however with no small level of emotional turmoil. In both love and marriage (should you wish to go there), you AM will find yourself dominated by your partner. This relationship can stir up your deepest emotional layers, making it hard for you to work or think straight, and creating trouble in other areas of your lives, completely throwing you off balance. Your partner however will be much more comfortable with the firestorms this relationship can create. He is no stranger to emotional turmoil, which is often a constant background in his creative or professional work. Controlling his own feelings while calling the shots in the powerful emotional world he would share with you is his speciality, and he will tend to control the inner workings of this relationship and many others, such as those with friends, co-workers or his family, as well. If you marry, he will keep you on a tight rein. For a freedom-loving Aries, this can be tough. Living together day-to-day will be very different from your pleasant long distance exchanges now, so be prepared for it to be intense. Your partner may tend to disapprove of your generosity or your tendency to look after strays or bring home interesting new people. Good at making a little money go a long way, he may see you as a wasteful spendthrift. Where you see the bigger picture, he hones in on the details. He may helpfully try to make you more attentive and realistic, but he must be careful not to do too much blaming and criticism since that will have a negative effect on you. He can be jealous, possessive, and suspicious too. Yet together you can share many exciting, challenging, and somewhat dangerous experiences. Just make sure you explain your ground rules to him carefully and calmly - you don't mind a partner who takes control but you won't stand for him smothering you, enslaving you, or overly critcizing you. He must take you as he finds you.
Thanks so much, Captain. Sorry it's taken me a while to respond!
Do you really feel like he has those feelings towards me? Everything else you said about him and me is spot on, he is very much all over the place and right now we're in the aftermath of having a difference of opinion (about me being defensive of him criticizing me - shocking, right? haha) And I honestly do not know how he feels and am trying to feel out the situation without much luck. I feel like asking him point blank may not get me any answers? Like me, he's very guarded...but yet, here we are talking every day..well not so much today, he was actually quite short with me due to a stressful situation happening on his end and I'm trying really hard not to take it personally but I don't know if it's because of that awful situation or the disagreement we had. I'm so confused and overthinking things now..
He won't stop criticizing you - that's his way and he does it to everyone. It's a type of power trip to unsettle you so that he has the upper hand. And this is at a distance - how would you cope with being in his company all the time?
How on earth do you know he cares, then?
It seems silly I'm second-guessing myself at a distance because >>I<< have a crush and hope he feels the same way. Criticism I can handle, it's the not knowing that bothers me.
Neither of you can be sure of your feelings at a distance - it's more fantasy than reality until you meet up face-to-face.
Tell me about it, but I do have a feeling we would not remain 'just' friends - as you said. He did apologize, which is a nice difference I'm not used to from other jerks I've dated which means he at least cares about potentially hurting my feelings.