Scorpioreader, Blmoon or TheCaptain



  • You all seem to be pretty keen intuitive readers... I am in a very stressful sitation at work. Its been growing and I was pushed to the edge. A customer threatened me and I responded in anger and want to know what you see for me and my situation. It stems from working in a hostile work environment a lot of drama around and leads me to be stressed. Please help very concerned about my situation or even keeping my job.



  • You don't always have a choice in what happens to you LL but you do always have to choice of how to behave in any given situation. Why do you think these work things stress you out and not float right over your head? Are you taking other people's bad behaviour personally? If you do your work well and are pleasant and helpful to everyone, even those who are rude or threatening, you win. When they get to you and you join in their negativity, you lose. Do whatever you need to do (meditaiton, relaxaton exercises, being out in nature, repeating affirmations etc) to regain a calm positive attitude and life (and your boss) will not punish you.



  • Thanks thecaptain

    to answer your question the negativity is towards me and they are towards everyone else in the unit, she threatens that no one can touch her and says she will sue for retaliation she doesnt show up to work on time and because she claims to have medical issues and the bosses are afraid she will sue nothing is done about it . Another employee is now on blood pressue meds from the stress herflippabt attitudecauses everyone stress . Everyone wishes she would leave but why woukd she . She makes her own hours allowed to work side jobs with the same company and makeabd is rude and disrespectful with no consequences



  • yes, the customer is always right! And you will be in trouble for not smiling through the worst insults. When I was very young I worked at sears in drapery's and I was in the store room and watched an older employee walk in kick a stack of drapes with great frustration then put on a smile and walk back out to the customer! I asked my three elder employees about it and they said that's how they kept from going off on rude people!! Working with the public is a mixed bag. You get sweeties but you get hatefuls and just plain crazies .....there are customers who are intent on making you crack! They enjoy it...they know you are not allowed to be anything but nice. I too learned to go in the store room and kick bedspreads! I think of it now as a form of discipline to survive events out of my control. Your stress seems more attached to the resentment of how your job functions as a team. You can not change others. Only have boundaries. You must either change jobs which I get you don't feel is possible right now. So your only course is surrendering to the reality of what it is and instead of using energy to stress about how un fair and being focused outside yourself and seeing the other employees....get them out of your head. Let go of right or wrong...injustice and surrender to this is your job....how can you survive best as possible. You need your paycheck....do your job......ignore the politics and keep your resume current and work like you are just passing through. BLESSINGS!



  • LL, you cannot escape negativity - none of us can. If you lfet your present job, you would find it elsewhere. We are all here to learn how to deal with it. In your particular case, you seem to perceive negativity (in both the co-worker and the customer's cases) as a personal threat. But these people are not nasty and twisted because of YOU, but because of THEM. You are allowing their negativity to become a part of your life and of you. You are absorbing it without releasing it (you brood on it and hold it inside you where it festers) and that is what makes you stressed, not their behaviour. These negative people possibly remind you of something that happened to you long ago when you were young - you felt very threatened by somebody's aggressiveness or meanness and couldn't do anything about it. But now you are an adult, not a helpless child, and you CAN do something about it.

    You can learn to let bad vibes just flow around you without touching you. Don't take them or anyone's bad behaviour personally. A negative person is hurting themselves more than anyone else. I guarantee you that, inside, your co-worker is very sick indeed from all her negative vibes. You must shield yourself every day from her by imagining you are surrounded by beautiful soft white light, God's angelic light. It will stop the negativity touching you. Do not manufacture any negativity yourself. And believe this - everyone's karma catches up with them eventually. Your co-worker will very soon be caught out and will pay the price for her upsetting behaviour. Whatever we do comes back to us. All you have to do is look after yourself and do not make the situation worse by adding your own dark thoughts to the mix at work. Instead send out love to everyone including - and most of all - your conniving co-worker. Take flowers to work and do what you can to make the workplace more pleasurable and inviting. Inside your co-worker is an unhappy person so try to feel some sympathy for her. The best way to turn a negative person around is by projecting loving thoughts at them. You can either be part of the problem or the solution - your choice.



  • Blmoon - thank you. I think I will use some form of stress relief like that get something to punch or kick! That really is a good idea. I have anger issues and thought I had beat that demon and I was able to deal with things in a cool manner but these last two weeks it was building and that last rude customer took it to another level. I am feeling really bad about myself and the fact that I couldn't control my behavior better.

    TheCaptain,

    I just realized that you are right,, "These negative people possibly remind you of something that happened to you long ago when you were young - you felt very threatened by somebody's aggressiveness or meanness and couldn't do anything about it. But now you are an adult, not a helpless child, and you CAN do something about it." I didn't realize that it had affected me that way, but it did! I have recently taken up meditation and yoga. (one class) I have scheduled myself for 9 more classes. I also bought a tape on how to relax and be able to learn about my past lives? Do you think that is possible? I found it at a used book store.. Thanks for all your help.



  • FULLMOON!

    Feeling bad about yourself serves no good purpose. Leave it in the past and use it as a challenge to have plan for moments like that. No one is perfect and storms often are nessasary for growth. Also, feeling bad about yourself is a vibe that invites someone to kick you!



  • It is possible to learn about your past lives but to me it is a distraction from the present. The present moment is all we have to be happy in. The past is over and the future has not yet been born.

    The meditation and yoga classes should be very good for you, LL. Do you know what triggers your anger?



  • Blmoon - thank you I will keep that in mind.

    TheCaptain

    Ok - I will focus on the here and now. As for triggers - the only time that I feel that type of anger is during a confrontation. I don't fly off for no reason. When confronted in an aggressive manner, otherwise I am nice and fun loving person. I have been told by my co workers that they like to have me around because I can make most situations bearable. Its just when challenged in an aggressive manner. I should learn to keep my cool but its like I cant control it.



  • It's because a confrontation instantly takes you back to being a child and feeling helpless in the face of aggression. But you can train yourself to react and think like an adult when this sort of conflict occurs. Just remind yourself you are no longer helpless and can calmly deal with the situation.



  • Confrontations are paths to healing if you recognize the wound. Not all anger is bad. We all should have a balance of yin and yang. Saint Michael is big hearted but he carries a BIG sword. But he chooses his battles. Ignoring feelings is not always wise as they will erupt inappropriately or manifest as depression.......so being a saint and never feeling angry is not suggesting you are bad for being angry. It's what you DO with that anger that is key. THAT is free will.. Any time I get the feeling I over reacted or got more upset than i should I dig deep inside my self to peel back the layers under the anger. What was I really feeling. You have to get past the emotion first to get there so that's why RETREAT is often a wise tactic. Let yourself feel the emotions alone then once that passes you can look at the situation. This is the basis of AWARENESS. Once you see the truth why a certain person or situation really hits a button then you can CHOOSE how to behave. Aggressive people or bully's are really fearful people or fearful children who grew up to be bully's.. Your job should have already given you instructions for that. The key is it is not personal. I worked in a school with young children and it was pick up time and it is of course every teachers nightmare to have a little one escape. A little girl started to bolt and I put my arm out like a barrier or train gait and suddenly an angry young man her father screamed for me not to touch his daughter like that. He made a scene and said terrible things that were no way true. I told him I was sorry if he thought that I meant harm when in reality I was protecting his child and doing my job...I did not make eye contact.....I kept working and my boss came and asked if I needed help and I said no. Later she felt so bad and said she was sorry that man went off on me like that...I told her I was fine and I wasn't the first teacher there to get c rap from him he was just an a s s h o l e. I knew it was not personal. Now if I had grown up with a parent like that I probably would have had a harder time not giving him the fight he wanted. I knew I was an excellent teacher and did my job. Nothing he said hit any real buttons. I imagine he walked around all day giving grief! When I feel my wound button is being pushed I allow my feelings but never wallow long then I choose to deal with that situation as the adult I am. If I over react with my grown children over something. I will go inward a day or two and usually call them once it passes and say sorry for that freak out, my abandoned child reacted but I see how tunnel vision my reaction was and I get that I'm safe and it is childish fear. My adult is back! If a person or situation keeps repeating then it is life offering you to heal or at least be aware or it will own you and you WILL feel out of control. Those times I had to kick a bedspread to put a smile on and get through the day, none of those people stayed in my head. So they meant nothing....it's the person or situation that stays in your head and you take it to bed with you that is something to dig deeper about. Who do they remind you of..or what feeling is most overtaking you. These are the wounds that hold you back and drain your power....with your permission. Because those feelings are most painful it is hardest to go there so life will be playing tough love with you and no matter where you work it will follow you. BLESSINGS!



  • PS. I got smarter about the kicking things. Energy is energy. Anger can get a drawer cleaned, a work of Art created and one glorious garden! My sons always knew if mom was out whacking in the garden making war on weeds and vines and anything half dead.....they knew someone was in trouble!