When will my fiance's family quit blaming and attacking me for things...



  • When will my fiance's family quit attacking and blaming me for everything that goes wrong? I am trying to get along with them, but they don't appear to want to get along most of the time...what can I do to get them to quit doing what they are doing and show me some respect?

    Thank you for any insight you can share.

    Laci



  • hobbles 76

    been there, feel your pain, i dont come to this site much, i just want to share with you with i did in the past, and even have done now with two of my ex daughters in law, life is not perfect, niether are we, what i do is i pray for them and ask the universe to guide them and guide me too, so i dont react , prayer, helps so much and at the same time help us release what ails me, the universe is full of love, we can express it through our prayers even asking the universe or the divene to bless them, have faith, you are in your own learning process, we can not control others thought, i sincerely belive that what they see , is thier own reflection, they are looking in thier own mirror, look ahead each second, of each day,

    god bless u, and your family



  • HOBBLES

    or can I call you STANDS TALL? We cannot control others, only ourselves. We can maybe inspire others or by our own energy build a firm boundary. Sometimes there is no getting along for the moment and if you step aside they will find another scapegoat. Many people struggle with personal responsibility so they see the outside world as hostile. They feel most testy when things out of their control happen...in your case this is a very emotional time and they vent in the direction of least resistance. It's the same way family members will be sweet at work, but unhappy with someone there but must behave will come home and bark at a loved one. Missed placed anger. All you can do is not get sidetracked by accusations but stand firm on the basic truth. A blow up is a relief valve that can leave wreckage. When attacked, respond with the underlying truth and say I know you are very upset and love your loved one . Please do not lash out at me. I love him him too. I get you just want to kick someone but all this anger is not helping the one we love. Then you walk away. Best not to NEED to be loved by them. Detach and keep good energy focused on your loved one. Do not be afraid of not being liked. No one on earth gets everyone's approval. Wanting your loved ones family to be loving is just a good thought. Also, time changes these things. Live in your truth and much further down the road you may be welcomed and close. Instant gratification isn't always in the cards but can develop later. For now....keep a healthy distance. BLESSINGS!



  • Dear Blmoon, again, so very insightful! Thank you. I do try to get everyone to like me...I will have to work on not doing that so much...it is hard when they are so close, but I will continue to work on it. Maybe with moving into our new house,things will get easier. 😉

    Ramona, thank you so much for your kindness. It is nice to see things from others perspectives too. With things being hectic, it has been a little hard to focus and know what I am asking for is the right thing to ask for. Thank you for your kind words. 🙂

    Laci



  • Lol, Blmoon, Stands tall gives me a great imagery, and makes me feel as if my native side is ready to break out. 🙂 Thank you for that! 🙂