Astra Angel I miss you
I guess I am ready. He actually owes me a lot of money. But I figured he had to straighten his life out first. I do see that you have money
Coming for me from somewhere. He is one of 2 possible sources. The third of course would be working for it. But that's the part that isn't working at the moment.
So, what do you think Mike? It keeps snowing here. Makes planning anything impossible at the moment.
There's: stress, work, money coming from somewhere, him and my love of my business.
So, now how do we put it all in perspective? I think I'm getting a little nutty with cabin fever here.
Well first all... Happy Valentine's Day to you... I wish you all the love there is to give.
I would give you a hug, but I am here and you are there. Love should be able to travel anyway though? I like to think so.
Okay, so you are wanting to put it all in perspective. That can be a little bit of a job. Making all the pieces fit together. I can try to see, without knowing all that you are dealing with. It sounds stressful though, and then there is all that snow, which doesn't help matters I know.
Dreams seems like the way to put it all in perspective. Your dreams, your hopes and what you would love to see happen. 7 Wands. That is a really out there dreamy wish thing... really sends you out there. I think what happens is we love to dream and we start out with all these beautiful wishes and hopes, so high and beautiful... it came so easily... and then... reality sets in. The cabin I guess. The snow and the cabin and the conditions that seems to box us in. For you may "the cabin" is the situation with work, stress from that, your business love, and whatever the setting is with him. Sounds like he is sorta the caboose right now.
Magician, that is more magic and play and fun... not very serious at all. It sounds like your cabin is sorta serious? Maybe see the cabin as something playful.
The Star, these are all lovely wishes and playfulness and nothing very serious. Eyes on your dreams and your wishes and something connected with your stars.
9 of Pentacles that is pretty nice "all will be nice for you" indication.
Anything more than that is difficult to say without knowing more details. It sounds like you want to plan something or know what to prepare for. I would say prepare for your wishes to come true in every way. And that way seems to be very magical and nice and playful for you. Which means all the stress and uncertainty and whatever questions you have goes away and is replaced by fulfillment seems the path ahead.
Yeah, I am not a real snow person either. I never really got the hang of walking on ice and trying to chisel my way out of the driveway.
So, I know that probably wasn't of much help.
I would say focus on love for him, as long as you are feeling it with him. I think that seems to be the nicer reality after all the material, job money stuff stops working. It is to put our eyes on love and simply wanting to have someone to hold and be close to. My theory is that when love is real and there is something authentic there, the rest of life just works out. So the universe lets us play around with life and love for a long time, eventually though the universe starts to break apart all the security patterns we focused on so that we find the real purpose of life and that is someone you are really in love with. And maybe with that emphasis, the rest will then work out for the two of you together.
I don't think the old patterns are working any more, the focus on job, money, career. That is older reality and was okay at one time. The new is a lover and romance and just nice feelings, and then the angels show up with gifts and presents and big boxes of money. Until then all the angels show up with is star in the sky labeled love and they wait until we start looking in the right direction... maybe your guy will start looking in the right direction too... or bring you a box of money... or a new pair of snowshoes.
Ok. What would you like to know that will help us figure this out.
Well... honestly... since you have mentioned a relationship in some way shape or form, in the same context as your job stress concerns, I would first want to understand what happened there? It sounds like you are waiting on him about something... it is difficult on these forums the details tend to sometimes be obscure. I would want to get to the bottom of whatever is going on (or happened) with him first, and then start to see how the job-money stuff fits in. I think it is all connected, so that when we resolve the issue with him, then the career stuff will resolve. I think the universe is forcing you to come to some sort of understanding or decision or to face something about him and until that is done, the rest will remain in limbo (the snowy cabin).
Maybe you can trace out the history with him. Is this a romantic involvement? Just a friend? Did something go awry with a financial agreement with him? Can you go into detail on that?
I think I met him late 1983. I was living with someone else. It was not going very well right at that point in time. He was around my work. Not where I work. But where I went for product. It was like the universe kept putting me right in his path. The more I saw him, the more I could see how I deserved better than I was being treated. I finally got up the nerve to leave September 2004. I owned my own home so I returned there. That's when it all became frustrating. The other one ran in the other direction. I was the type of woman to whom you make a real commitment. He was still married, although separated for a number of years. In 2005 I met his father, and subsequently the entire family. More things transpired between 2005 and 2008. More than I could type here. But no romantic relationship in spite of the fact that everyone on the planet could see the obvious chemistry, including his father who really liked me. In October of 2007 he lost his job of 15 years. In November I started loaning (giving night be a better word) him money. In April of 2008 I put him on my phone plan to help him out. June 1 I moved in with him and took over the bills and paid up all of his back rent, etc.
We have always gotten along and are very compatible. Things were not going his way no matter how hard he tried. The job he needed was eluding him. He went to live with his daughter his eldest who is now married. I stayed on and finally left the apartment last June. As you are aware he is still on my phone phone plan. He is still married as far as I know. I'm certain if he wasn't I would've heard about it. I am now friends with his daughter. She messaged be at Christmas and mentioned she wished he would find peace in his life.
Ok. Now me. I left the old bf in 2004 as I mentioned. We are still connected through the business and managed to remain friends. I had taken over the old bf's family business in 2003 to ensure he would have an income since he did not desire to do so. When I left I took it with me. I was a huge success to say the least. I sold my house in 2006. Shortly before selling I actually went ahead and moved a few blocks away from the other one. Fast forward to the other one leaving. My brother who is younger than me was working with me. I'm July of 2009 he had a heart attack and was airlifted to a major hospital where they finally performed a quadruple bypass. Three weeks later he had a stroke. I'm not going to go into all the details of my brothers illness. He spent 9 months in a nursing home even though way too young to be there. I travelled every day 70 miles each way to make sure he received proper care. I had to cut back on business. In order to have my brother released I had to promise to bring him to live with me.
A lot of things happened Mike. Far more than I can tell here. One day my brothers defibrillator went off when he was with me. It sounded like gunshots. We were outside so I dove on top of him to protect him. A passerby turned out to be an off-duty police officer who called 911. I think that was December 4, 2011. I don't think I need both hands to count the number of times I have seen him since that day. I know there's a lot of gaps and missing info in the brother part of the story but he would not have survived if I had not fought to get him proper care while in the nursing home. He is now in an assisted living. As of June 20, 2013, right when I was moving I am no longer allowed to speak to him per his request. So you see, Mike, for a long time, no matter whether I had feelings for this other man, I had obligations that prevented me from even thinking about him.
I do not feel my brother has much time. However, I will not receive a phone call until said time runs out.
I feel the other one after 15? Years of separation has possibly reached that crossroads. Can't really say its for the children any more you know.
And my business. I would love to go do it the way I did before my brothers heart attack.
Ok Mike. That's a lot of info. I hope it helps.
Okay I am connecting the dots and remember our dialogue now. Sorry I cut you off on the email thing back there, I was becoming uncomfortable with email readings and such back then and just abandoned that. So I am glad now you reached out again, and you seem to be in much the same setting as what I recall from our previous conversations. Deborah, right? I could be wrong so please correct me as needed.
Well... I don't know. After you have shared all that, and you ended on the statement "And my business. I would love to go do it the way I did before..." was the first time you mentioned the word "love" in your narrative. The only times you have used "love" have been in connection with your work, business, so I think that is really where your heart is, more than these other relationship concerns. So I would then say that indeed it is probably your business/work that should be explored in terms of setting goals and all that, then start working toward those goals. The hard part is really setting the goals, the easy part is walking out the steps needed to arrive at your goal.
It also sounds like you have also been contending a lot with "dependent" people in your life, like the make role patterns are all showing dependency patterns, requiring your help. Maybe that has relaxed now and you are ready to focus on YOU and see your business come back to you.
So, it sounds like you want to "go back" to the way you were doing your business that before? Is that the fruit stand thing you were doing? What is hindering you from realizing that? We could start to look at your situation and list out specific areas that need to change in order to move forward.
How does that sound? It doesn't really sound like a tarot question, it sounds more like a setting goal question to me.
Well whatever type of question you think it is Mike. I'm not sure. In some very odd way it's all connected. My brother and the other guy have never met. I don't think they ever will. Quite frankly, I feel my brother will be gone first before I hear from the other one. As far as business, I am very goal oriented. I have no problem making a plan with 10 backup plans. Truth is, for quite some time now, I have been beleaguered with many setbacks. Many of them draining financial resources. Bad things happen to me on such a regular basis it's crazy. I need to be able to go forward. It's not for a lack of trying. And, yes, I think it is snowing again. Thanks for all your help, Mike. Cecelia
Well, let me give this some thought. We will need to consider how the draining of resources is a good thing. There is always a reason the "bad" stuff happens, it is paving the way toward a better reality.
If the "bad things" are happening on a regular basis then that is a clear indication of a block in that area, which is helpful information. I want to look at some cards next so hang in there...
Can you think of ANY area of your life right now that has you communicating more in some growing way? Besides this thread. Is there anyone else you are in some communication pattern with that is growing or developing?
I have to friends with whom I communicate on a daily basis. 1 female probably friends at least 3 years now and 1 male who asked for a reading last January and has been communicating with me ever since.
Okay that is interesting. I looked at some cards for you yesterday:
growing outer communication pattern
pi - imagination, the intangible side of life
growing material reality pattern
That seemed to indicate a growing dialogue pattern in your life, connected with seeing within, involvement with the immaterial area of your life. And then... a growing material reality pattern (where you material area is in a healthy growth-nurturing pattern).
So that was what prompted me to ask you about any dialogue patterns, that seems to be an area of some significance for you.
I have to say, this is only my sense of things based on what I know about you... that you really do have a gift there with your friends, whoever you are in regular dialogues with. I know you are helping them a lot Cecelia. Sharing with them what you "see within" (pi). So, then... after all that... there is growing material life. As a natural byproduct of those areas.
It may be that you are being blocked now from the previous MRP (material reality pattern) of your job-work-career... in order to focus more on your dialogue with others, and that is your true calling, and that will lead to the healthy material pattern again.
How does all that sound?
I also looked at some Cartouche cards for you and that had "set" in the mix, so that is a block for some reason. So I really have the sense that there is a higher reason for the problems now in the material life, there is a message there for you. The universe has ways of making new paths painfully clear sometimes ... I think its just a little adjustment here or there, and off you go into something really beautiful for you... I know you have loved the work you were doing. It may be that there was something hidden in that work that you were feeling, and that could be transferable to others... like nurturing, growing, cultivating these who the universe seems to be sending your way. Just talking out loud here....
At the moment, work is being hindered all the way around by the weather. I work outside on Saturdays and Sundays. Monday through Friday I work with WIC (Women with Infant Children). I have 2 indoor and 2 outdoor locations. This is also fruits and vegetables. The work I do is important. I also do Food Stamps. I hope to help Mothers with Healthy Babies once the weather improves. To me, there is a great deal of fulfillment in what I do. It helps people. 7 days a week. To give this up would not be fair to so many.
And, I'm thinking you're hinting at card reading instead of produce? I've been reading cards many years, but I don't think I would want to do it for a living. I'm also an excellent cook, but that doesn't make me want to run out and open a restaurant.
There needs to be less stress and a financial change. I do feel there is something bigger on the wind this year, Mike, but I cannot foresee abandoning my current field at this time.
I just feel like we are missing something here. The something that happens that changes everything.
I'm not sure what it is, but its coming.
It sounds like in your reality you are waiting for something to happen that "changes everything".
That is a wheel of fortune sort of theme. One day my ship will come in.
I am not good at trying to figure out then the "somethings" are going to come around that "change everything". It sounds to me like you (may) have two areas to look at:
1. This past relationship with that man who had some material involvement seems to me to still have loose ends. Something doesn't feel right there to me.
2. You seem to be very concerned about other people and not enough about yourself
My 2 cents which ain't worth much.
There is a general sense with you that your reality is swirling around everyone else's welfare. And maybe not enough about yours. So you have helped others a lot and now you are feeling a little miffed that the universe is starting to seem a little unjust, after all you did for others and now to be dealing with these material limitations. Its not fair, right?
Are you dealing with any anger issues lately?
No, Mike. I have no anger issues. I am always helpful, courteous and pleasant toward everyone. Will I ever help any more people after the long list of them? No. I will not. There is unfinished business I think with the other man, yes. Also with my brother.
Spring will be here in a month or so. And the story will continue.
Are you still living with the ex?
I'm not actually waiting for something to happen. Not like magically I'm going to wake up one day and my life will be better. I'm telling you what I feel. Something happens that makes all this stress a distant memory. Lets call it a Death, Tower and Ace of Wands situation.
So you see Mike it's not a wish. It's kind of like I'm here at point A and I can see point C. Everything looks sunshiny and hunky dory there. Point B is the unknown. Something changes to put me at Point C. I think that's what is making me crazy.