Astra Angel I miss you

  • It's been a while. Too long of a while. Somehow things happened and I lost touch with you. I very much want to know how you've been. I guess you're very proud of those Seahawks!

    My life is comprised of a tremendous amount of nonsense. I'm beginning to wonder if I will ever survive it. And perhaps come out on the other end a little bit happier? Your insight is always appreciated. And thanks. I've really missed you!

  • Hi Scorpioreader!

    Yes it has been a while! Nice to hear from you... thank you for asking about me, I am doing okay I think! Never totally 100% certain about that, however the sun keeps rising and life ebbs and flows and I think it is all beautiful. Yeah, the seahawks really were great this year, what a team. I think Seattle is shut down for parades and all-day parties today :).

    So. You are dealing with nonsense huh? I can relate. Life can seem nonsensical, I have really dealt a lot with wanting life to always "make sense". Eventually I wore out trying to do that, and seem to just go with the flow more... so that when I face the next nonsensical situation, I say to myself, "this makes no sense at all, and it is perfect!" haha... i try to say that anway!

    Yeah, you'll survive it, we all will. Just keep going and look it straight in the eyes, and say "you are nonsense! And I am okay with that..." I think our brains war with us, we long for life to always be this little picture perfect logical thing... maybe it is life's way of keeping us trusting in something beyond ourselves? You will certainly come out the other end very much happier I believe! Whatever is happening is happening to bring you something wonderful, that you wish for so much, deep down...

    Hope that is of use to you dear Scorpioreader... I can look at some cards too... maybe I will do that here in a little bit... very best wishes to you, thank you for writing.

    Love and sunshine,


  • Thanks for the words of encouragement. The stress has been overwhelming. I actually tried looking at cards for myself, but truthfully my brain is fried. If you care to look, be my guest. I could probably use a fresh perspective. I was trying to figure out how I lost your email. My phone broke and I had two different ones. When the new phone came and I had to install it, I couldn't remember the password. So it wouldn't let me. Silly I know. So I lost touch. I'm glad you're still here.

  • Oh the stress, yes that isn't fun. Actually I think fried brain is a good thing because you stop fighting it. And sort of just start to float along?... comfortably numb in a way I guess... so I will share what seems to show up for you.

    Let's see...

    Your setting is

    (a) 5 of Swords

    (b) 2 of Cups


    (a) changing outer communication pattern a(b)out affirming emotion reality patterns

    So, scorpioreader, this would be your present "setting" in life. This is the stage you are on, this is the scene. It has to do generally with some changes in how you are expressing yourself to your outer world, and that is trying to say something (to another, or to others, in some external way) about affirming emotion, love, themes related to emotion realities of couples, harmony, balance, affirmation, dualities, agreements. So there is some sort of emotional "twoness" setting that you are living through that is also prompting you to communicate externally in some changing way. You could be saying something differently, or looking for a new way to speak your truth about the couple, two, affirming emotion reality you are experiencing.

    So, that is your life setting... the rest is the script, touches on some of your lines, choices, events, movements, actions related to the setting:

    1. Beginning = 9 of Wands. A beginning of an inner communication pattern that is completed, fulfilled, successful or ended. This could relate to an inner "path or goal" that you have dreamed of or wished for. This says that the thought within you is complete and beginning. So you are beginning to think completion, successful conclusion about something in some way associated with the setting.

    2. Affirming = 7 of Cups. This is affirming a rest-reflection of emotion reality patterns. So you are saying "yes" to an emotional reality in a way that is reflective. It must be associated with the affirming emotion in your setting. So even though there is some stress in your life right now, deep down you are affirming something emotionally, saying yes to an emotion reality of duality or togetherness, and you are reflecting on this day by day.

    3. Growing = 9 of Swords. Growing completions and conclusions or talking about endings of an outer communication pattern. So, not only is your setting about changing the way you speak your truth lately, about your feelings, about your heart, about this affirming love or feeling, (perhaps a relationship of some form) you are also growing in some conclusive outer communication with others, you are saying to your world "this is complete! this feeling I feel... this love in my heart... is complete! I am beginning to see that!" and you want to share that somehow, and that is a growing concern for you that you express this.

    4. Foundation = 8 of Cups. A foundation of expansive emotion reality patterns. So, we see more cups... and this is saying that the foundation beneath you now is a very expansive love... a greatly developing emotion, perhaps a door, an opening, surprises of love, and a wonderful expansive feeling... this is your foundation lately dear scorpioreader. It is a very expansive, swelling emotion.... and it is about a two... a partner or a companion or somehow a balance for you emotionally.

    5. Changing = 8 of Pentacles. This says not only are you changing your outer communication style in some way, saying something of these feelings, in some new way.... there is also something of a physical, material reality pattern that is changing as well, and it is very expansive just like your foundation. This is interesting because you have a lot of 8 expansiveness as a foundation and changing. 8's are a little nervous as "changers". So your emotion reality is stable and also expansive... meanwhile your material reality is also expansive, however it is changing! So that adds a strong "change" going on in your external reality (physical) which could be what is adding to the sense of stress. I think this area and the foundation 8C4 is where the stress is deriving from, my guess anyway.

    6. Social - sharing = Zeta. Zeta is all about rules, doctrine, the laws, the expectations of systems. Zeta always relates to the "order" we expect of our lives, like... "I want this to stay the same!" . The only problem is, life never stays the same - it is always changing. So what do we do to force life to always be the same? We come up with little play rules for our lives, little structured laws and concepts and logic that we invoke over ourselves and we live under these imagined rules as a kind of security pattern (marriage being one example of Zeta security rule-making in my opinion). What happens though is that these imagined "rules" take energy to support over time. And eventually we wear out supporting them. We give up. We collapse. We wear out and let go of the rules. What happens then? Well, then we are left without the rule in that area, and then we have to keep going anyway - without a rule in that area! And that takes... faith... trust... that the universe will continue to support us and provide.

    So, there is something about this "rule" in your life you have been holding on to, that you are wanting to share with someone or others in some way. This must be very important for you to share this, because you are also trying to change this expression as a "setting", meaning the sharing of Zeta rules you have created for yourself is really important for you right now. Plus there is something about this that has reached the point of a "conclusion" where you are expressing this rule or belief pattern as 'concluded' in some way in your life. It is very important that you share this with others, so if you have a way to give this expression I would recommend you do so.

    7. Rest - reflection = 7 of Cups. You are resting or reflecting in a resting, reflective emotion reality pattern, so this is a very emphasized (7 in a 7) and.... it is showing up again after the 7C we saw at 2. So there is something really going on with your emotion reality right now that is causing you a lot of reflection, you are wanting to reflect, imagine, dream of something emotionally that is very meaningful to you, and is also an expansive foundation in your life. And there is some sort of "rule" associated with this that you are also really wanting to share with someone(s) that involves a completed communication pattern within and without. So the themes of "completions" (9) in communication, and "reflection" (7) emotionally, about a duality of emotion reality (a partner, a emotion companion perhaps) are very significant for you right now. This could also be felt as some stress perhaps, because you have an expansive emotion foundation AND you are also wanting to ponder or reflect on something emotionally in a very deep way. So those two forces are a little at odds with each other. I would guess that the emotion foundation that is expansive has some history for you, and there is some real development taking place there... and yet you are also wanting to keep putting the brakes on and reflect on it over and over. So it sounds like one minute you are basking in this expansive emotion, and then you want to pull that back a little and reflect in calmer ways.. it is a really interesting dynamic with you right now! Plus... you are wanting to share it to others for some reason, and it has some Zeta rule connected too... and you are wanting to say "conclusion" or endings or attainments or success somehow to another(s) about this emotion reality. I would want to get to the bottom of that 2 of cups scorpioreader, that is where I would go next with you should you want to dig deeper. You have some really amazing combinations of forces running through your life right now. Like a race horse who is being told to calm down haha...

    8. Expansive = 3 of Cups. And this is yet more very expansive emotion. So this could be causing those feelings of anxiety at times I think. The 3's and 8's are a lot alike. 3 is growth in a nurturing way, so this means you are feeling very expansive "nurturing" feelings about this emotion reality beneath you, and it is about a two... a companion or duality of your emotion reality. It is really about your emotional reality right now. That is your story...

    I will also chart this so you can see a graph of where you are at...

    You can see how you are cycling on a steady sort of frequency... the peaks are all spaced out nice, like in these little groups. One after the other.... like children all gathered around you. Each clamoring for attention...

    "pick me!"

    "no... me! I want to go first!"

    "... me me... "

    It is like you have something really dear to you emotionally, that is become an amazing love... and it is so dependable and expansive... and all you want to do is reflect on that... and share it with others in some way.

    Little children can cause some stress you know... when love settles down deep in our heart, that asks for attention too... and there, we can face some conflict with our minds... the way we communicate..., because it may be senseless... love can be nonsense sometimes... little kids can be a little demanding! In some way it is like your emotion reality is wanting your attention...

    Hey I also just walked out and took this photo of the moon for you... thought it is so lovely, the moon is so mysterious and beautiful... it is emotion too.

    Oh scorpioreader... I hope something here was a help in some way, or gives you a fresh perspective! Maybe something in there made some sense... I know you are in good hands, the universe is carrying you along perfectly. Feel free to ask questions about anything... as always it is only for entertainment haha... I will think about you and pray that the anxiety abates in your life... that will help.

    Would you like to look at some cards for me? I would love to see what you see... should that be something you would like to do. Up to you, I love the tarot I think it is so wonderful, I have learned so much and feel like I am only beginning.

    Yes I don't know how we lost touch, those pesky cell phones!... I don't have one lately. Relying more on smoke signals. I am not the best at staying in touch with others.

    moonlight to you..........

  • My main source of stress is work/finance related. I seem to be the queen of whatever bad thing can happen will happen. Costly things. I know I am not meant to give up. I love what I do and it provides a much-needed service to society. The weather is not helping my cause any. I fear I will have nothing when the time comes that I need all my resources intact. And yet I am well aware that life can change in the blink of an eye. While most people have a clue what lies ahead for them good or bad I am overcome by this whole life can't go on like this feeling. So I guess what I'm stressing about is how I get from a to b or a to c. Or wherever it is I'm going and what is going to happen so I can still do what I love?

    And yes I will do a reading for you. Since I tape mine I'll be in touch when I'm ready to send it.

  • You have a lot of 7C around you I just picked that up again. Reflective emotion reality pattern = you are dreaming of something emotional and your reality pattern doesn't reflect that same dream = stress or anxiousness. There is nothing "wrong" or lacking in your life, any worry is a by-product of the emotion-material disparity. We should look at your 7C area to see how to resolve this.

  • Look away, my dear.

  • Okay Scorpioreader, let's see! 7 of cups... dreams of love, dreams of emotion realities that are so wonderful...

    So, I set the Queen of Cups here as representing you and we will simply start drawing some cards and we will be looking at this 7 of cups interest.

    The setting is

    (a) 6 of Pentacles - social-sharing material reality pattern


    (b) 6 of Swords - social-sharing outer reality pattern


    An emphasized social-sharing material reality and outer dialogue patterns. So

    6 of Pentacles. Hmm... so it is something physic, and social, and sharing. So it is real, what you are desiring is real, someone, something that is connecting with others, or someone, or something in your outer life reality, what you see, touch, feel, sense in your life. So that is beginning... that either began, or is beginning, or will begin for you as the reality the 7 of cups wants to bring into your life.

    So, the social part is emphasized, and this is all in that communication area, like... you want to communicate, you want so much to share, and be connected and close to others, or someone, in the way you share, talk, express yourself. So, the 7 of cups wants to be something very physical and very communicative, expressive to this other, in your social realm. And that is affirming, this says yes to the 6 of pentacles.

    1. 3 of Pentacles. So, now the pentacles begin, this is growing earth, physical, nurturing patterns. You know a lot of times this associates with work patterns, employment. So we see emphasis in the social area, and also in the physical area now as a growing material effort of expression I think... like... you want to communicate to this 'outerness', and it wants to be social and growing...

    2. Affirming... Judgment... that is like, release, freedom, liberty after a period of restriction... like, there was something you went through or experienced and it led to a time period where you were confined or limited in some way. Then the judgment card came and sets you free! And that is what is affirming your 7 cups wishes.

    3. Devil. Now you are out of your grave and free... and the first place you stop is this inner world card, this is all about the intangible areas, a lot of communicating and emotion duality, relationships in the way they communicate. This has a 6 swords in it too (in my design), so it is hearkening back to that social 6 swords the setting (b) card.

    4. Foundation, 5 of Swords, changes in the outer communication patterns. So this is interesting because it is saying "change" of communication after the repetition of the 6 swords in the Devil (ayin) card. So scorpioreader, there seems to be a communication change for you, relates to something from your past and I think it was related to a work setting, a social setting, connection with another(s) that left you searching... or limited, like you were in jail because of that, your full potential was not realized there... then the release comes, (judgement) and then the inner world and then the change of communication. So something is changing about a communication issue going back for you perhaps. There was a social setting, work related I think... something happens... and you had to wait for judgment I think.

    I think it is boredom basically. You are a deeply seeking person who loves to communicate, that is really super important for you. I think there was a setting where your communication was hindered, it was a socially "acceptable" way to communicate, however it was also "safe" and still left you longing for deeper dialogue with others/another.

    The 7 of Cups is basically a "I am dreaming of more emotionally" indication. Then the setting is a social setting with no emotion indicated, it is all material and talk. So something was/is missing in a social setting, that begin as a growing material effort. That was affirmed by judgment (release) so either you are saying I want to leave this place, or you left a setting. I think it is a desire to leave a material+outer communication patterned setting, that may feel like a limitation on your potential in some way. Because your growth card is the Devil (eyes, seeing within). So that comes after the judgment, release escape - and notice - it is all intangible for the most part, emotion reality, inner and outer dialogue. So it is really all about communication as pertaining to love, emotion reality patterns.

    Then the next card is the 5 Swords, and that is showing a desire for dialogue change.

    All of this reading is really expressing your heart longing and a dream for something really wonderful in love and communication... this 5 swords seems to be a foundation for you... like, when all else fails, you are wishing "I just wish I could see this conversation change... I long to see this wonderful dialogue develop... it is my dream." So communication in general is a big part of how you are fulfilled in your life. I almost want to say that you equate great communication, with great love. A wonderful dialogue with an emotionally rich and satisfying relationship. It is really interesting.

    5. Changing = the Chariot. So rapid changes basically. A desire to see change come as soon as possible. Can be saying change is coming as soon as possible to fulfill your 7 cups longing.

    6. Social-sharing = 2 of Wands. That is an affirmation of the inner dialogue patterns. So there was something about the inner dialogue patterns in your life that you were wanting, desired to share in that social setting in the past, or maybe your present. There was something about your inner life you were longing to share (saying yes to that) that was unable to be shared. Could have been a partner, or friends, there was something very significant that you were unable to share or say to another/others... and it was sourcing from a very deep place in your heart, and yet it was limited and you couldn't talk about it. Like a partner or friend or work setting where you were really, really wanting to share your heart... "Hey, can I share this with you? I want to share this deep communication with you!" and yet you couldn't or circumstances wouldn't allow it. Leading to a judgment condition where you were/are longing for release from that. There is something you are really needing to talk about, related to your inner life dear scorpioreader! I would let that out, this forum is a great place for that, we are all friends here. I have shared way more about my life than I ever should have ha...

    7. Reflection-rest = 10 of Pentacles. This is a transition of your material reality pattern. Something you are reflecting about, I think it goes back to this setting of the social 6 of material reality, and the beginning of work in some way. The reflection here is on the physical life where this desire to share your heart was somehow blocked, or restricted. And that has been really painful for you... like a wound that has a tough time healing! And yet it is healing now because you are talking about it now... speaking your heart out, sharing about that inner life you love to live. You are water scorpioreader... you are meant to swim in that emotional river and enjoy your emotions and have safe and lovely settings to sing of your feelings. I am earth, (Cap) what do I know of feelings? Very little... you however... you know all about that realm. You write it! Like a little book... you are the author who writes about love, and your feelings... that is your dream, so I think the 7 of cups is really you saying, "I want to share and be open about my feelings in every wonderful way possible!" So the settings of your life, while providing a sort of forum for that... either your close relationships, or work, or some social setting, even church, religious settings... they have still exerted more of a hindering force for you that prevented that full expression. There is something important about your communication needs and a physical way to say that, which is really important for you. I keep thinking a book for some reason... writing your heart out... somehow your inner world is aching to be expressed physically, tangible for others to see and experience.

    8. Expansive = 3 of Cups. Here is where your 7 of cups find an expansive pattern, and that is in emotional growth, settings where you are free to speak your deep inner communication patterns forth. That seems to be where you long to be. The 3 of Cups is what the 3 of Pentacles we saw beginning was "supposed" to be and that didn't exactly turn out to be emotionally satisfying. Safe, and social and acceptable - yes. Not really a growing emotion reality for you though. Left a lot to be desired.

    So whatever else is going on in your life is sourcing from this need to communicate something about your inner life to another person of interest, a close friend, or a social setting in some way. Really important. I think the universe is causing these other life issues to evolve (*the nonsense you mentioned) to happen to bring your eyes back on YOU, on YOUR INNER dialogue patterns, the way you talk to your own heart, the way you bask in this ocean of love within... this is really important to find ways to bring that forth into outer communication patterns (OCP). More important than anything physical, finances and all that will be resolved with this sharing of your inner life somehow. And that in turn will bring you to your 3 of cups haven where everything is clicking for you... then the doors will open and you will be on your way!

    Yippie that sounds nice to me scorpioreader! You have a lot of untapped potential in emotion and inner dialogue patterns, you simply have had some life experiences I think where you were either told that you weren't allowed to share, or that it wasn't needed... and that sent you underground perhaps while you awaited liberation. We all experience these outer life setting issues, they are stemming from something we need to embrace about ourselves first. So the life conditions are a clue to what that is. I think the cards just help us identify what that area is and then we say "oh this is perfect! All I have to do is be more "me" in this one area, let this area flow more... and then.. those other pesky life issues will resolve!" So the nonsense is important for you. I would analyze more, that is probably where I would go next. We know you are seeking emotionaly... 7C... we know there is a deep inner dialogue you want to bring forth... so now I would start to analyze these nonsense and start to poke around the problem areas (not really problems they are more like clues) and start connecting the dots to see exactly what area the universe has their eye on in your life, to bring forth more, to actualize, to find your own gifts more and more. I think we are all on this same path today. The challenges of life are being brought to bear for a good reason, to help us see the area within ourselves that is needing to be allowed to come out more. Or something like that haha...

  • Thanks Mike. This doesn't sound anything like the nonsense I'm being subjected to....BUT, it does sound familiar. More like a person. Would birthdates help you with what is going on? Mine is 11/11/56 and his is 07/18/56. Much of what you are alluding to seems to be pointing in his direction. I haven't spoken to him in a long time.

  • Would you like to speak to him again?

  • Well without going into the whole story, I will say that he is on my phone bill. Am I going to contact him? No. Are we extremely compatible? Yes.

  • I realized I didn't actually answer. Of course I would. I think I would. That's not really what's been on my mind. I figure when he figures out what he's doing he will be in touch. If you have input, fire away.

  • Scorpioreader,

    Sounds like a relationship concern + need, desire.

    Lets set aside this specific person for a moment. Call him "Bob". Let's try to separate out the positive aspects that "Bob" represented for you, from the package that Bob came in. You have already mentioned that you desire compatibility in a relationship, right? So why don't we start a list of "What Scorpioreader is looking for in a relationship". How does that sound.

    I think we already have the first item on the list...

    1. Compatibility.

    I would start here with you by listing out the positive qualities you are seeking in a partner, rather than keep looking at cards, although the cards can help identify what is really important to you in a relationship.

    What are some other aspects that you want your partner to have?

  • I'm not looking for a relationship. It would seem, however, that at some point he will come back around. It's all part of the story of everything that's going on right now.

  • My main concern, Mike, is how I survive what's going on now. In the next 3 to 6 weeks, something major needs to give in my life. Unless that happens, all my hard work will go down the tubes. But, what major thing can happen in that time frame to change all of this?

  • This all sounds so intriguing and I am not sure what you are after here.

    So you have a guy "out there" who needs to "come back around" in order to prevent all your hard work from going down the tubes... and you need a "major thing" to happen within 3 to 6 weeks to change things. Can you be more specific? Drop some more clues what exactly is going on?

    Can you tell me specifically what you want me to do? and I will try to help.

  • Ok. Let me see if I can put it all into perspective. I have an outdoor job. That's for the most part. I also have a couple if indoor locations. My main outdoor location I have been there 30 years. I can't go back to a specific date for you. But for starting point sake lets say it was 06/29/12. I should've been writing a book. So much has happened in this time period. But it feels like push is coming to shove. I have been repeatedly blindsided from all directions. Very costly things have happened to me. Often on a weekly basis. Most people just look at me and shake their head and say how much can happen to one person? But now, my stress, or part of it, comes from me worrying how in the next 3 to 6 weeks am I going to be able to return to my main location in the proper capacity. These hard financial hits are becoming very difficult to bear.

    The guy the story is too long. I really feel he needs to work out his own issues before he can talk to me. I don't really think about it. It's business that has me consumed. I hope this helps.

  • Okay, this is good information. Let me see what seems to be be suggested.

    I will focus on the financial part first and let's let the the guy rest for a moment and I will try to help provide some feedback for you on the financial part.

    We'll use 10 cards, 2 for setting and then I will pose some specific questions in hope of getting you some insight that is helpful.

    The setting, the present situation with your job(s), the concern, the issue.

    1. Justice

    2. 4 of Cups

    So it is a justice issue. Leaving you in an unbalanced situation. The 4 of cups shows that you are maintaining emotional stability (or trying to) even though there is this justice out of balance issue hanging over you ( "it is not fair" so you are in a justice area so that means you have to wait it out).

    3. Your highest hope about this, what you really really want to see happen.

    Magician - a miracle. Happiness at long last, and fun for a change.

    4. The foundation of the concern, what has led up to this situation.

    3 of Wands. A growing path or role, an effort to develop your business or some effort to expand.

    5. What happened recently.

    10 of Pentacles. Transitioning of finances, which means something recently ended financially and something new was trying to begin financially.

    6. What is about to happen.

    10 of Wands. A transition of your path, role, direction. So immediately ahead is some sort of intention, path, career change it seems. Something about your previous path is ended and a new path will shortly be started, presently you are heading into that transition.

    7. Your attitude at this time about this job/financial situation.

    Universe. That is good, you are keeping the faith (or trying to), knowing that you are being watched over by the "larger themes and purposes" of all of our lives together. You could also be wanting to really see something end once and for all, some finality to something hanging over you.

    8. Your environment, influence of others, what is going on around you about this job/financial situation.

    Hierophant. That is all about the rules and lines in the sand. You are being told what to do, or the right thing to do, or something in your environment is trying to preach to you. Advice coming from somewhere. What is rights and wrongs in the atmosphere.

    9. Your hope or fears and some possible advice from beyond.

    2 of Cups. That is affirming love, emotional partnering and balance. This seems connected somehow to the person of interest I think. This could be where your relationship with him is exerting some influence in this financial matter. I am starting to suspect that these various areas are all interconnected. So, you are hoping for emotion or love really, even while the financial nonsense goes on week after week. Your fear is that it is only about the money, and not about love at all. The advice is to focus on the emotion-love relationship area.

    10. Where matters are headed at this time, the outcome.

    Ace of Pentacles. Good news Scorpioreader. It will all work out for you. I don't know how. This sounds like a totally new thing for you, new material beginning and it puts the justice issue to rest finally. So it looks very promising as an outcome, although I do think the little 2 of cups matter needs to be looked into.

    Perhaps you and he can write that book... together.

    I think you are walking through a very important transition in your life, the financial areas relate to past concerns and the universe is trying to sweep that away it seems, in order to set you into something totally new that you will really love... no more old business... something brand new for you.

    hope this helps..

  • I think so. Just leaves me wondering if I will be able to continue doing what I love.

    And I know that 2 of cups thing is a side issue.

    Yes things are out of balance and some justice would be great. Thanks for helping me try to sort through this. It's a mess.

  • And I know that 2 of cups thing is a side issue.

    It depends. Everything is connected in life. You may WANT it to be a side issue because you don't want to think about it, however it could have bearing on your financial situation. Trying to solve material settings (finances) with material strategies doesn't work with a relationship issue in the background. You wear out eventually and then you are left looking at what is left. And that is usually your 2 cups relationship concern. Could be where matters are headed for you. Let me know when you have the nerve to tackle that head on and we can look more at that, right now it doesn't sound like you are ready or the time isn't quite right yet.

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