Need advice,,,i messed up my love



  • i am a foreigner living in thailand.met a girl few months ago,we started off as friends and i fell in love with her.she was quite apprehensive at the beginning even to talk to me because i am a foreigner.

    heres some background.the girl is immensely rich,and she was married once.she and her husband met with an accident in whish the husband died.shes still in love with him.and its been once year and still shes not ready for a relation and she keeps her heart closed.the guy was from a poor family and after his death his family started troubling her family for money and so much of that sort has happened in her life and she doesnt want to have another man in her life.

    so this is the situation where i made my entry.we were friends to begin with and then i fell in love.and i told her .thats when she told me this story,but i said i will wait till shes ready for a relationship

    we chat all day and talk everynight just before going to bed.and we chat on skype too just before making the call

    things were really progressing well ,she even had her status updats on skype as "i know oneday i will fall in love with u".

    we were talking about marriage and future plans even though she maintained that shes not in love with me yet and is not ready yet.

    then we met 2 days back on a lunch and movie dat.everything was fine.we had so much fun and then she returned home and that night she called me and said she dont think shes ready and that shes still in love with her late husband and will never have another man in her life.

    thats where i messed up.i persisted that i will wait and i knew that someday she will open her heart for me.she got upset and made me promise that i will always be just friends for her and that i will never talk to her again about marriage and love.and at that point in the scare of losing her , i made that promise

    so this is what its about.

    does anyone think i still have a chance or advice as to how i should take this forward?

    she maintains that she will never fall in love with another man,particularly a friend,as friends are supposed to be friends forever



  • This girl only needs a good friend right now. She has not grieved enough for her former husband and cannot handle any more emotional issues at present. Grief can take a long time to move through. It's obvious you want more, so if you cannot accept her friendship offer, then you need to move on. If you persist with your attentions, she will run away. You cannot base your life around "Perhaps...she might change her mind." Maybe some time and distance between you will alter the situation or give greater perspective.