• Over the last couple of weeks, I've had disagreements with my foster son. He promised to do some work on a mower and chainsaw for friends of mine, and also my own mower, But he's been very slow and not kept in touch for weeks. I asked him about this a couple of weeks ago and got abused, basically. Then got abused again just tonight. he won't let me talk, but tells me to be quiet so HE can talk, then hangs up on me. He's 22 and been in my family for nine years.

    What is going on with him, apart from just plain disrespect? I really am at a loss as to how to deal with this boy. And seriously considering the tough love thing until he realises what he's done and actually apologises. Then again, if I've been wrong, I would appreciate it if someone could point that out. Because I can see this relationship dying, purely because I can't accept being treated like that, and can't cope with his verbal abuse. It's like being back with my ex husband. Ironically, being a foster kid, he came from an abusive and neglectful background.

    How on earth do I figure this out, and actually help this boy? I'd like to shoot him truth be told!!

  • It is rough moon50 but he is an adult now and he should face the consequences of his actions. Do not let him verbal abuse you. Just tell him flat out that you love him and will not be disrespected but you are there for him when he will speak with civility & respect.

    lots of prayers being sent to you to help you get thru this stage of his life.

    I pulled a couple of cards and I am not sure if I was projecting or what but I think he is falling in with the wrong crowd and he knows he is wrong but doesn't want to lose so called friends

  • You're right, I'm pretty sure you're right. He has fallen in with the wrong crowd, and because of his past life, with very little security in it, his mates have been of No. 1 importance most of his young years and still are. I can't get through to him at the moment. I also agree that he knows he's wrong, but the fear of losing his friends is too great. After all, why on earth would he want to be left with just his foster mother? I told him not to talk to me like that, but this has been twice in as many weeks and I'm just about over it.

    You've validated what I'd suspected, so I guess I'll go from there. What else can I do? I don't want to lose this kid, considering things with me and my daughter are where they are which is tentantive to say the least. My ex husband has her right under his thumb and I've taken a very dull second or third place in her life now.

    Thank you! I wish I could see an easy and quick solution to this, but ... I live in fairyland methinks 🙂



  • It is very hard I have been there with my daughter. I just old her I love her and when she needs me I will be there and now we talk everyday & our relationship is strong. she still says in contact with her father but I no longer have to speak or be around him yeah!!!! The only thing I will have contact is to get the back child support

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