I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A CURSE ON ME
Yep, without wanting to sound too melodramatic, I actually feel like I have a curse on me. A curse that prevents me from finding any real happiness or peace.
This year has started off sadder and more stressful than last year did. I'm constantly fighting with my foster son, I feel like I should maybe pack up and move from my farm into town where I'll have more visitors, money is still tight and I honestly don't think I'll ever find love again.
A very depressing post. But a very honest one. This is how I feel.
How do I turn this around? Do i actually have some sort of curse on me?
patchlove last edited by
To begin the change to a more positive future you must begin with putting a positive , higher frequency thought pattern into
the present moment.
When you open your eyes in the morning, Thank the Universe, God, or Divine Energy . Be thankful for the fact that you have the miracle to breathe and to see. Thank the Divine for leading you to a place of well being and taking care of your financial means.
The thoughts you put into your reality become the reality, so focus on the positive outcome you desire. Believe that God is answering your need, and let it flow.
Ask the Divine energy to guide your path.
Surround you and your foster son with love...as hard as that may be, and ask your guardian angels to help you and lead you as to what to do and say to him. Perhaps both of you can work out something that satisfies both of you.
Be aware of the energy around you and do not fall victim to it. Replace it with love and divine protection.
Fear and anxiety is the curse itself.
Thank you patchlove, I have been a pretty dense old dolt lately; let things get me down to the point where I couldn't see a way out. But at long last your words, and similar words from others have sunk in. I am also stubborn and cling to old habits, even when they don't serve me anymore. I guess that's a fear thing. And here have I been, preaching these same words to others and not walking my talk.
After feeling lower than I've felt in a long time, I woke up the other day and thought: F*CK IT! I have been worrying about every little detail, and now realise it's time to quit that rubbish. I thought I should've achieved more in my life by now, which was the main thing stressing me out. So I'm turning my thoughts and actions around, so that I RELEARN how to take each day as it comes rather than worry about the next day or next week, which is what I'd been doing.
What if? That is a question that I think is one of the most potentially destructive thoughts a person has. What if? That had been my mantra. It won't take five minutes or five mere days, but I'll be working to change that to ... hmm .... let's see ... "WHO CARES??" lol! or something similar haha.
I shake my head at my own stupidity and ignorance truth be told.
Ah well. Sometimes we on a higher path can get waylaid, misled and fooled. Although half the time we are our own worst enemy.
Time to be our own best friends
Thank you again!
Well said patchlove & moon50!!! I have been feeling that way to for a long time myself and it is a horrible way to feel. I feel like I have been taking hit after hit since Nov. But on a good note I have been able to start reconnecting with my older sister. I believe it is time for us to take care of ourselves 1st for a change. I will not dwell on the what ifs anymore. I think you are right about that being destructive sometimes we are own worst enemies!!
Most definitely! Without what we had come to know as direct communication from our guides, I know I'm not the only one to have lost faith and felt abandoned. shadow, I also have noticed things going "wrong" since November too! But I now feel a subtle shift with this new Black Moon. I'm tired of feeling like I couldn't possibly realise dreams that I've had. Why can't those dreams come true? Why should I - or any of us - be happy to settle for simply what'll do? I did not do what I did four years ago to end up in that same space.
I do believe what has brought this thinking around the most is the way 99% of people act. I may have that percentage wrong, but it sure seems that way. I have taken their behaviour personally. And that is where we go wrong. Sometimes people act like a**es. They don't act like that to p us off personally.
I've felt my old fears come back to the surface and I'm dealing with them now. I also have to be discerning in that if a fear comes up and I feel I should deal with it, the questiion I'm going to ask myself each time is: Is this fear holding me back? If it is, I'll confront it. If it isn't, then I'll acknowledge it and let it go. That's the plan!
I just finished reading a book that taught me how to change the reality i am living in. I know about law of attraction but didn't really felt it. this book convinced me that we need to make believe our subconscious mind on the goodness we are and want. through prayers in meditation, you can change your reality. it happened to me, and i will elaborate later on it because i am leaving right now. But the book is called : Think Yourself Rich / Joseph Murphy
the author of The Power of Your Subconscious Mind
I soo much believe in it !!
hope it helps to change your life too !! B
I to feel the subtle shift and I am trying to take it one day at a time. I feel a lot of things are going to change this year. But I have never felt this beaten up before and I am weary and moon you are so right about people losing faith they feel helpless and insecure so they strike out trying to hold on to what they have left.
breze thanks for mentioning the two books. I am going to my favorite used bookstore to see if she has them hopefully this weekend
I have seen these times as a test of faith. And got to wondering why we seem to be copping so much! Good God, I even likened myself to Jesus on the cross at one point!!! But I think some of us know how it feels to be like the sacrificial lamb or pork complete iwth apple in its mouth.
And you're right: When times get tough like this, most reach out for the old and familiar. Suddenly, that road less travelled that seemed so attractive at one point seems threatening.
But - and I am venturing to say you too - I am hanging on to that vestige of a dream I had a few years ago. Even if I am butt-scared, I know I need to leap off that ledge. Otherwise I'll wonder that old destructive "what if" for the rest of my life ...
Thank you Breze for the recommendatiion of that book. I'll keep my eye out for it! I have read the Secret, but it (obviously) didn't quite sink in ...
I just keep telling myself that the stress is going to end & life will get better. but with the job market
sucks & hours have been cut so they do not have to pay insurance & the regional vp will get a bigger bonus at the expense of others. a tech quit yester day cos he found a better job and I am happy for him but others in the work place are just being ugly to him and that is not right!! I can feel the anger & jealousy and that adds to my own stress.
I am trying to recapture the dream but when you are several steps away from losing everything again it is hard
It's hard all right. I worry that if I don't get permanent hours, I'll be put back to casual when my contract is up in March after four years of service. A bitter pill that'll be, but I need to find a way to be positive about it rather than let it get me down.
Maybe we need to create a new dream? Maybe our other dream/s are things of the past and they need to go along with it ...
TheCaptain last edited by
Ladies, you cannot allow outer circumstances to impact on your own life and how you feel about yourself. If you are waiting for outer circumstances and other people to behave perfectly, well, that ain't never going to happen. But we can have a perfect life in an imperfect world. You are the only ones making yourselves unhappy. Instead of focusing on how badly you are being treated by the world, why not use the power of positive thinking to see yourself as triumphant and victorious over any kind of outer events and people? At the moment you are telling yourself that your life is hard because outer circumstances and people are making it so. Of course it is simpler to blame other people or curses or whatever rather than taking responsiblity for and control of your own life yourself. Don't deny your power. These negative thoughts are not the thinking of a life creator. They are the thoughts of a life and joy destroyer - or a helpless victim. If you keep thinking like this, you will always be caught up and affected by the flow of life around you. Step outside the material world and all its concerns. Just because other people and circumstances may be negative, it does not mean you cannot have a joyous abundant life. You do not have to suffer just because you are surrounded by suffering. Instead build yourself an impregnable inner fortress where everything goes YOUR way - every day (and you won't believe it at first but persevere anyway until you do) say out loud - "I am the creator of my own life and I build it up the way I want. Outer circumstances and people have no power to dictate the way I live or how much joy and prosperity I have in my life. I choose to have love, light, abundance, serenity, wisdom, power, and happiness inside and flowing around me. All these things and more are inside me. They always have been. I choose to let them re-emerge and fill up my life now. There is no room in my life for negativity. I am a powerful beautiful immortal being who is immensely grateful for all that I have and all the wonderful things that are flowing to me now. I have everything I want and no-one can take it away from me. I create my own happiness and prosperity NOW." Then your inner feeling will change your outer circumstances into something that is equivalent to how you perceive yourself - bountiful and joyous.
Hi Captain you are so right but it is hard sometimes especially when it hits all at once!!!
I really like the part of " I am a powerful beautiful immortal being who is immensely grateful for all that I have and all the wonderful things that are flowing to me now. I have everything I want and no-one can take it away from me. I create my own happiness and prosperity NOW."
I have also been using the list you posted on "Think of your Life as a whole" and it has been helping.
I just don't understand why people can't be happy when something good happens to someone else. Like my coworker who found another job. He will be giving up a lot of family time but he is doing the job because he wants to make a better life and he has wanted to move but he didn't want to uproot his family to start over but he had the opportunity to have a better job and still not uproot his family while working out of state at the same time. I am happy for him even though I will miss him coming into the office & I did get the chance to tell him yesterday
TheCaptain last edited by
Shadowmist, you do not need to understand others to be happy, only yourself. Life comes down to a simple issue - why would you want to live in a negative way when it makes you feel nothing but pain and misery? There are no good payoffs from being negative. Being positive - if it brings you nothing else - at least makes you feel good.
You can only recreate your life when you believe you can - and that only happens when you recognise and take responsibility for the creation of your life thus far. By admitting you have created your current circumstances and attracted the people who are in it by your own choices and decisions, then you take back your power to make your life over as you want. It is only when we imagine we are helpless and at the mercy of other people or random 'fate' that we deny our ability to make the changes we desire.
So let me tell you my story: I was desperate back in December.. i had searched for a job for four months straight, and hand some great interviews and nothing came along... I have two masters, great artistic succesful carrier...and I had no money to pay my rent...Walking around into Barns and Noble with my son, I kept thinking 'God can't let me down'.... The eye caught the "think yourself rich" (Joseph Murphy) book and i thought ok it felt like that could fill the hole. I gave it a quick look and bought it when i left for home.
I start reading immediately, like one looking to find water in the desert. I realized that i had always ignored the power of prayer. Its like when you don't have any other hope for finding water on your ways, you better believe to what you normally would not. Within each story the book explained, I felt home, so i was reading the prayers like they were for me. At some point the book try to convince me that you have to unblock your fears and open up to your desires. And i start thinking that 'sure I do have fears then' LOL
Its that moment when you are empty, that ideas pop up. I was cooking and remember to question myself Why do I fear teaching ?? because here in USA i love teachers...the answer was right there: "I hated teaching because I grow up in a country where teachers would slap kids in class, badly, and i used to hate them. They were wild" --- I felt relieved, happy and run to the computer to look for jobs in teaching. So I think i heal at that moment. I opened myself to the desire to be a teacher. Soon i see that for most part of teaching experience, you have to have lots of professional diplomas to become a teacher. So in the moment I went : nook. Not for me I guess. I am not doing any more school. I have had enough and so went on with the book and the prayers and was filling quite wonderful, for no reasons. Just because I convinced myself through prayers that I am happy and I only want to be so ...etc on these lines.
Next day, I received an e-mail from Nassau Community College. They needed a Adjunct Professor for teaching what i do best, and they found me on internet through searching. Asked me for an interview immediately. Next week I started teaching. And is going wonderful. Adjunct teaching was the only teaching I could do based on my Masters. I believe this was GOD Intervention !! I feel Blessed and I am soo thankful !
So the process was simple. I healed from the fear of teaching !! Was opened and prayed to God !! Believe to the pawer of your prayer !! Hope this book will change your ways of thinking for ever too !!
patchlove last edited by
Sounds awesome Breze! What a great experience!
Sometimes it's hard to see the light through the shadows, but
The sun is always there
We revolve around it, and as is with nature,
eventually our faces turn to the sun
If we can but remember to keep our hearts and minds pointed to the Spiritual Source of Light
at all times possible
our world within will become brighter
Let the Golden Spiritual Energy of Abundance and Love enter our hearts on a daily basis.
When we open our eyes,
let it be to the Source of our Breath and Life
and ask, and give thanks for the receiving
You are all gifts,
congratulations on your new job breze!! That is awesome. and thank you patchlove for the encouragement
Thank You Patchlove and Shadowmist !! Wish you the best of Luck also !!