It is not over Blmoon...!



  • Hi Blmoon,

    He did it! He found something to blame me for!!!

    On Friday, he suggested going somewhere and on the way take my computer to be repaired (the plug is a bit lose). My son said I should come too in case there was a decision to be make about the computer. We went in my car and my son was driving. We found out about the computer then had some lunch and he suggested continuing to his home town to visit his parent’s grave. It went very well, he was happier than I have seen him for a long time. When we were in the car, his mobile rang. It was obvious that it was her, he was embarrassed and he said he would call back. At the cemetery, he disappeared to call. On our way back, he wanted to stop to see a cousin at his office and we did. He was busy and one of his managers came to greet us and he introduced us as his “wife and his son”. He didn’t have to introduce us at all. The cousin was very pleased to see us, especially me because has not seen me for a long time and he of course knows nothing of the divorce. When we got home, we had some dinner and watched an episode of a series we like and then he left.

    Yesterday, we had planned to make a traditional French dessert I wanted to make before my son leaves and he wanted to learn. It went so, so, because he always has to criticise and at one point I told him that unless he stopped, I would do it alone or he would. He stopped. After, I still had to do some shopping and he made some dinner. We had dinner and dessert and then he left.

    He came back today late afternoon. We were about to have some tea and I offered some. He accepted and he was obviously sulking. I asked if he was alright and what was wrong. And there he goes saying that he was “p issed off” about last Friday! He wanted to have some time alone with his son but I had to come along… He has to go and sleep elsewhere every night I just turn up and take “his” room. He is not going to “camp” in the guest room! Then he went on and on about my not wanting to lower the asking price for the house, that his life has changed and we act as if we were still a family!!! Then he said that I had all these demands and I said “I never had any demands and perhaps I should have, I can have them now if you like”. He went upstairs saying that he would not accept threats. My son told him that I only threatened to do what he accused me of having done when I had not. But his is the one who threatens me with not paying the mortgage and other expenses. Now he also threatens me with selling the house to the highest bidder at whatever price.

    It is now perfectly clear that this woman poisons his mind! She had all day today to work on him. I noticed before that after spending a whole day with her he was like that. It was the same with his mother did the same at the beginning of our marriage, especially when I was pregnant, and his former girlfriend too. I don’t know if that is a skill specific to German women… but I don’t know how to be manipulative and that is my misfortune.

    My son told him he was going out but that they had to talk. He said of course. Soon after, he left and he just said “good night”.

    What do you make of this? I have the impression that he doesn’t feel like listening to her go on and is not happy going to sleep there every night but she doesn’t want him to sleep under the same roof as me and he frustrated and takes it out on us! But it does not help me in the least. She must be furious that I am staying longer than my son, she did not have to know, but he tells her everything. He is stupid because he is just showing her what his weaknesses are and she will use them against him!

    My son was going to leave without having a talk with him, but today, he had so many reproaches for him that now he intends to give him a peace of his mind. I am afraid he will not say much though, his father keeps interrupting when one tries to talk to him and he is too nice.

    There is another thing, his son has been here for more than two weeks and he never took the time to do anything with him or talk to him, too busy with Mistress! Now, he is leaving and suddenly it is my fault that he did not have a day alone with him last Friday! Did he have to wait until the last minute? Why did he have to tell the Mistress that I was there on Friday? She could not know!

    I don’t want this year to start like last! The house must sell, very soon! I still enjoy it, but he is there and the house must go or he won’t!

    Your thoughts will be much appreciated.

    Love



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  • I love this painting----the clarity and shine and control of the eye---the blue book! Interesting as I see this blue everywhere along with pink. Universal colours right now. A retro from creative years--the 60's early 70's. For the paining though it is the one eye catcher that keeps the rest of the objects from sliding off the table. Normally , one bold colour alone would stop the eye from seeing the composition. But this artist defied that! Very brilliant!. The placing of the white tea cup rising to join the white blooms keeps the eye moving. I could go on---this is a brilliantly controlled painting. A masterpiece. As for your x----he would wish to paint for you a perspective of his own control. He is not happy---does not want to change his life. He hides from realities then gets overwhelmed. His inability to act on his feelings for his son has nothing to do with you---he is angry with himself but expresses it at you. He fears anger---fears his manhood may include violence


    he has so much buried rage he can only deal with it in an ambiguous passive aggressive way. Out of sight out of mind works for him as well as some kind of consuming distraction--drama or if he's gifted he creates. The bottom line is he is not good at relationships--too much vulnerability. He sees slights and wrongdoings in those that he could love--it is a way of justifying and hiding from his responsibility. His most comfy life is one of escape---he has to have two women. Two places to come and go. There is nothing unique about his issue and you are not the only woman I helped guide her way out from a marriage like this. You did well really, and so well he can't think fast enough as the script has changed. Sad for your son---yet your son understands him. And this is not the end for them. Your son left with his boundaries intact. Your son was saying in a manly way that your x is the father--it is his RESPONSIBILITY to make a loving vulnerable real connection and no one elses fault if he doesn't. A long time ago your son made a personal pact to himself not to expect or need anything from his father---he protected himself----and it is not forever as truth is he has been wounded by his absence but awareness is your son's strength and why he would make a great psychiatrist or counselor. He has a gift for healthy detachment. I see far ahead where your son will play out this wound and heal---it will be painful and will involve a relationship that will betray him but that is out of your control and he will be a better man for it and will do all the right things to get through it and his relationship after that will be the right one. As for the house---I think you get now how much your influence is needed---as your x is too undecided and wishy washy---he hides from his actions----in his head yes he wants this house to sell yet---a bigger part of him is frantic--not ready for this change


    she has let herself believe you stood between them when really he does not know how to live exclusively with one mate. The lies he has told her regarding why he and her cannot live as a committed couple have all come to a head. She has no control over him---it is an illusion. He needs a woman who will be blind as her and he's getting old----she allows him to live his lie. She is blind to see you as the enemy between them. I have told you all this before. You need to not be distracted by them but put your energy into getting the house sold. Expect him to be blindly sabotaging the sale so follow your intuitions---say your prayers and continue visualizing the house as being loved. Someone is out there looking for that house! Avoid hurt feelings. That has been your weakness. Do not get in that need to know mode---his life is full of things you do not know. Wondering only attaches a tether to your energy and connects you to him. People get drained like that. He has a legal issue and conflict with two women. He has been trying to maintain the two woman two escapes but it is not easy----a younger woman would be easier---hes older and so are the women---wiser women been there done that. And he does not have the money to buy a young woman to live his lie. Spirit strongly advises to FOCUS on your needs and selling the house. You do have that power. Pray hard and try to be positive---expect the house to sell---expect this to be over. As for march 17----I keep getting a HELLO from your bold loving Irish friend----so whatever that date is for you it somehow is connected to him. I do not see any other advice for now. Keep your energy protected in your current apartment


    you need to move and I see the number 4 on that subject. I see the numbers 2011 as important and Feb. is going to bring a job interest. BLESSINGS!



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  • Your friend is wise! And you are stronger in that house than back at the apartment. In the past no it was not wise to be near him as he dominated and beat you up emotionally but I think you are doing very well with not letting him get away with it---you have broken the cycle. I agree with your friend and that house would sell more likely with a female energy dominating it as the house does have spirits attached----there is a female spirit who loves the house but also a male spirit who attracts energy like your x and it is why it is such a struggle to keep the house in order and a home energy. The male energy considers it just a house and is possessive. Another female in the house would help you get the house sold and it would help you not get worn down by him. By the way I came to the computer 3 minutes after you posted so this must be urgent and considering spirit has been saying DOMINATE the house repeatedly I would call it a blessing and a divine gift----your friends offer. Now that you are fearless take action. Do not over think it---just do it. If he complains how you must go as you are not his wife---say---did you not just introduce me as your wife? Really though I like your friends idea----not to bicker but do the opposite----enjoy and dominate--it's good business and not about him---you need to attract the buyer that spirit sees possible this month. Do what you do best---ELEVATE. Enjoy entertaining in your home! Isn't that something you miss? Happy new year! BLESSINGS!



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  • Depends on what your "poison" is : ). I too have low thyroid issues after passing fifty and was taking an over the counter supplement then felt better so stopped taking it and noticed symptoms again! It creeps up on you. I noticed my finger nails started ridging and just look different---my hair though mostly full starts thinning in one spot up front. I'm more tired. I have always had dry skin but it got worse. I went to the healthfood store for a fresh bottle of thyadine---which is from iodine but they didn't have it so I asked what was their best seller and got something else but may not keep using it as I realized it is from adrenals and thyroid of cows and I get paranoid about that----i do not eat beef as it is and worry about mad cows disease---just me. I have been thin and fat so many times in my life I know what my poison is. I do best with detox first and work my way up to exercise. Fat people run in my family. And being a psychic empath it means I want to wrap my body in Armour. It's easier as otherwise I have to deal with anxieties of others. It's easier to put on some padding! But I am so active the extra weight starts aching my knees and feet! And I just get sick of it. Detox for me is cutting out simple carbs. Carbs feel good and are sedating and calming. They are not all bad for those who can balance them. I will drop weight fast if I cut out late night snacks and sweets. I can go without much food all day but am a night person who gets hungry. Not good. I detox best by using a good protein powder supplement that agrees with me ---they come with all kinds of protein sources and some upset my stomach. I like a vanilla flavor so I can add strawberries---maybe unsweetened yogurt and blend into a shake---I use Agave for sweetener. You have to experiment. Right now I use a plant protein powder---the whey kind upsets my stomach and the soy gives me hormones. I also take supplements to avoid blood sugar crashes. Cinnamon is one but I take several others I can list later. The protien powder I just found already includes things like green coffee bean and coconut oil for weight loss. It would take pages to give you a supplement lesson! I also make a jug of tea sweetened with agave and add tart cherry for arthritis----I mix my teas sometimes. Riobos is a high oxidant and no caffeine but I will mix with regular tea. I have a green tea with peach I add a hint of ginger from a ginger capsule--it is yummy.The point is during detox you want to keep your body thinking it's not deprived so I fool myself with good sweets to get past the withdrawals and there are withdrawals. I get such an energy burst it can feel overwhelming at first but that's when I increase exercise----On Monday it will be three weeks so I will start the treadmill or walking. And use the hand weights. I eat chicken and cheese. Cheese is a good snack but not with carbs. Just a bite will satisfy you. I do have bread in small amounts but high fiber. Like a high fiber english muffin for breakfast with peanut butter and a fruit only jelly--smuckers blackberry is yummy. I stay away from artificial sweeteners---splenda gives me stomach cramps and joint pain--awful stuff. Stevia is good but agave tastes better. Mostly the detox phase is liquid for me then I add foods high in proteins. The other day I picked up a pizza for my husband and I wanted it once I smelled it! I got creative and took a high fiber muffin---toasted it---added some pizza sauce and cheese and it did the trick! The carbs and calories where no where near what is in a real pizza and truth is I would want more than one piece! The white carb dough makes you want more. During detox you have to realize your intention is to give your body sustenance not pleasure. A lot of eating is pleasure! Of course you can't live on just sustenance forever--it's not realistic but the trick is to detox first and add things that can be satisfying. Once I lose enough to make high cardio easier then I can eat more as daily workout will increase metabolism. I can't eat white potatoes at all---no chips--diet or no diet---they are not my friends! They are too addicting and hard on blood sugar. Right now my mate must put up with no eating out as detox is critical the first stage. Most of my diet is the protein shake at first. Beware of the pre-made shakes they are usually high in sugar. You have to find a health food store. i'm sure you are confused with all this! The trick is modifying favorite eats on days you feel weak and tempted or deprived. Instead of a fast food bean burrito---you can open a can of organic re fried beans and cook in a bowl with sweet onions or peppers and top with cheese or tomatoes and it will satisfy you. BLESSINGS!



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  • You do get it! And so true that it is hard to cut out comfort carbs during stress. That's why after my son passed I allowed myself not to be hard on myself and just survive. I eat very healthy mostly anyway. But just going cold turkey and liquid is the method. You do not need expensive powders---although it ends up being cheaper than buying meals. You can take lowfat milk or almond milk and add a hand full of frozen strawberries and use a blender---i have a hand one---and you have a shake. Un sweetened yogurt adds protein.The first two days I added banana as well to fill me up. I guess the truth is it's about detoxing from all additives and over processed food and staying close to raw foods. The stuff I am using now is made by a company called GARDEN OF LIFE. Eggs are very full of protein and good for dieting. Keeping a bunch of boiled ones on hand will help with hunger spells. It ends up being about hunger instead of wanting. Often we are weak when hungry so eat the wrong choice. I just had a strawberry protein shake and it was not what I wanted but once I drank it I feel full. I also just keep temptation out of the house. As for your son---good for him! You know your x projects his mother's controling ways on you. The secret that torments him is that little boy in him loves his mother as much as hates! Seeing you two together brings up stuff he buries. He is going to surprise you with something within a week. But that's not surprising---is it?! BLESSINGS PS---I think I told you but get it strongly, feb. has a job possibility or money your way.


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