Blmoon - please help me if you have time
rubythursday last edited by
You may have seen my post 2 weeks ago where I was trying to ascertain this guy's feelings for me. Anyway, I ended it - feeling that maybe deep down he felt something for me, but it just wasn't enough / or he wasn't willing to make me a priority.
Anyway I did end things with him about two weeks ago via sms (shameful yes) because I got the impression that he was pulling away / wasn't interested anymore, so for pride's sake (and also to avoid further heartbreak), I nipped the situation in the bud before we even had a chance to talk about where we were.
He asked to see me, and we had coffee today to clear the air. He was very apologetic and said that his actions were not an indication of his feelings, just that he's overwhelmed with life and has a tendency to shut people out. BUT ALSO that his pipe dream of leaving the country for a solid 6 months to a year may be in fruition very soon. He's basically re-assessing his life, and on some subconscious level, pushed me away. Having said this, he says he feels something for me and it wasn't just about sex, and is there a reason we can't still keep seeing each other. (I do believe him, and I don't think I'm just being fed things I want to hear... but if you do feel a suspicion or you don't trust him, I'd love to know).
I decided to think about my two options, if 1) I were to continue to see him knowing that an expiration date were to be present, and just enjoy our time together, or 2) To just leave it as is.
I used two significators and drew out 3 cards to represent the most likely elements of either decision.
OPTION 1: Still continuing on with him. I used 'The Lovers' as a significator, and pulled out SIX OF WANDS - HIEROPHANT - ACE OF PENTACLES
Six of wands for me was very literal - basically confirming my gut feeling that he would be embarking on his trip, and this was more than just a pipe dream. On a metaphysical level, I took this to mean that I'd have to go through a passage of letting go.
The Hierophant was a bit confusing to me. Is it urging me to really think about the right course of action? Or is this referring to the guy as being someone I could learn from (he is 9 years my senior).
With the Ace of Pentacles, it's telling me that as a love interest - he does reciprocate my interest. And also that this time together, I have no financial worries because he takes care of it all - wining & dining me, etc. - which has been the case so far as he is quite successful and never lets me pay for anything when we go out.
I just feel like my interpretation is a bit shallow. It seems to indicate that all I do is enjoy his money - which, I will admit - doesn't hurt, but I really like other qualities about him.
ON THE FLIP SIDE,
OPTION 2: Ending it now, to save me from the potential heartbreak down the line for when I become really invested in him, I used 'The Hermit' as a significator. I pulled THE HIGH PRIESTESS - ACE OF SWORDS - QUEEN OF PENTACLES
The High Priestess to me is always an exciting thing. Like there's a hidden part of me waitng to be acknowledged. So seeing her reaffirms to trust my intuition, and by choosing my isolation, I'll have a better understanding of love as a bigger picture?
The Ace of Swords then reinforces the High Priestess - as then this time of solitude being a time of enlightenment? Or that I'm trying to just use my head on this and trying to be brave and not open up my heart to getting hurt.
The Queen of Pentacles then is an encouragement to embrace my femininity, work on being nurturing, and reminds me that it's important to be self-sufficient / and not to depend on someone else?
So now what? I feel like neither option is particularly bad... In fact I have plenty to learn about myself regardless of which option I take?
I would appreciate any further advise please. Is staying with him this opportunity to learn about my issues with boundaries and letting my walls down a bit? Heeelp please!
rubythursday last edited by
Sorry, I also forgot to include that I hastily ended things with him before I got your response. Even though you said it wouldn't all be smooth sailing, could this have been the opportunity I needed to try and overcome my issue with boundaries?