Dear AstraAngel if you have the time..
hello AstraAngel! i would like a reading please if you have the time..
i've been craving change in various aspects of my life for a very very long time. scenery, company.. you name it, i think i need it as much as i think i take risks and step out of my comfort zone to change things i feel nothing changes, old patterns repeat themselves and i don't evolve. i know this all sounds very vague but i think this is the best way to describe the problem i'd kindly ask you to look into the cards for me. what does the cards suggest that i do? what am i doing wrong in my efforts to change things and better my life? are my expectations too high that they keep me from enjoying what i have in life?
to maybe make it less vague: i want success, peace of mind, and friends that i can make memories with without worrying about pettiness and jealousy. not an easy feat, i know
thanks a lot in advance!
I have plenty of time.
Okay, we can look and see what is going on. Let's play it by ear and see what the cards suggest...
I like to draw two cards to sum up your present setting, frames out the concern. Should show what you are dealing with.
a. 10 of Cups
b. King of Pentacles
Okay, well two area. Emotions and your physical life. The 10 cups is a transition card emotionally. 10's are concluding things emotionally (successfully) and pointing toward a new beginning. Kings are repeating growth patterns in their suit, so that indicates that you are in a growth situation in your physical, practical life that is growing and that is repeating somehow. Pentacles are results of your thinking, feelings and intentions. So I would say your present life situation is mostly results that keep repeating, (growing) while there is an emotional need to transition to something new. The sens is you have done all you can with one emotional setting and it is time to move on.
Beginnings, Empress - Empress is a foundation of expansive physical life results and a new path hidden with in that. Empress is basics, nurturing patterns, that is what you are starting with now, basic "taking care of life" in very basic sort of "how can I help" ways. Dependable. Stable. Pretty basic stuff right now for you.
Affirming, 6 of Pentacles - This a "social-sharing" card of your physical life results. Meaning you are "affirming" the basic life modes of the Empress with social-sharing physical expressions that seek to say yes to your world in practical ways. I get that you must be a very caring person, and your general style is very laid back, you are what holds life together. And that can mean that YOU as a person can be overlooked (as you seek to take care of those around you). So it could be you are feeling a little drained from trying to provide the physical affirmations and supply to your social circle, and that has you longing for new, a fresh start, a change of setting where YOU can feel YOU again. I really sense that right now about you from these cards.
Growing, 9 of Pentacles. Yeah. you are "tapped out" physically. Your life energy so far must have been used up in a lot of ways, perhaps trying to "be there" for others, the one others could always count on. There as their rock of Gibraltar. The 9P is a fulfilled card of physical life results which means you have completed a physical pattern perfectly, and yet it is still trying to grow! Which means you are indeed heading for a 10 conclusion of Earth results in your life, and that can only mean a new physical pattern must be developing for you ( is my guess, seems to be what the universe is arranging for you).
Foundations, 3 of Swords. This is the first time swords have appeared, so that means that your foundation is somewhat buried. Not out in the open like it should be perhaps? The 3 of swords is a beautiful growth card of intellect and dialogue and communication growth patterns. My sense is that somewhere along the line, while you were being everyone else's rock, your own need for dialogue was buried, ignored, suppressed. Others were saying, "Hey cylll help me with this, can you do this, please give this, do this, pitch in, give, supply... " and you were crying out often to be heard, to communicate with others (3 swords) and they may not have been too interested in hearing what you had to say. "Oh, cylll we don't have time to listen, we are too busy spending your money or whatever... " so you just shrugged your shoulders and buried it. That is your foundation though, so communication and healthy, affirming, positive dialogue is very, very important for you. I think that is something you are really longing for now more than anything. You are tapped out physically in your present environment, there is nothing left that you can give. So now you are finally starting to feel that deep need to connect in healthy ways in communication mostly, and that is causing some desire to move on, find a new setting, establish a better circle of social setting that won't be using you as the past has done.
Changing, The Star. The Star is nice for you. Hope, I always think hope. And nice new things happening in some magical ways from above. The Star is a repeating physical foundation pattern (queen pentacles) and a New think-talk beginning (ace of swords), which means - guess what! - something new is starting, or will be starting in a communication pattern, just the beginning, it will be nice for you though! And... a change in your physical foundation patterns. So this does sound like your basics (Queen/4 pentacles) physical life patterns - along with a new thinking dialogue or communication pattern - is in development for you.
Social-sharing, 10 of Wands. Yep, something transitioning for sure in your path as relates to your social life. 10's are total "one thing ending and another new nice thing beginning" and this is in your path-role with others. So your story, role, theme, path, purpose, intention, aim, the way you connect with others is transitioning away from one pattern that has completed (10 cups at A + all of those pentacles that seemed to show you really trying to be there for others). All of that is changing, as a new pattern is developing in these areas.
Rest-reflection, Queen of Pentacles. Okay, this is a "rest" of your foundation pattern of repeating physical life processes. Sounds like a nice vacation to me cylll... we saw that King of Pentacles at B. This tells me basically - you have been busting your a$$ trying to supply what your world demanded of you, while your own communication needs were overlooked... until you have now come to a place where you feel quite exhausted and are longing for new... new anything... a new life, new friends, new family, anything... just to get a chance at something actually nice. So this does seem to be what the universe is working out for you.
Fulfillment, the Chariot. Well, your life is being carried along to something new in a path that is great for you. And... a new love. New emotional start with someone really nice for you. The 4 of Wands is in the chariot... and a nice Ace of Cups. So you have "fulfillment" coming your way in a NEW path and role (4 of wands, and recall the 10 wands that we saw in your #6 social placement which speaks of "transitions" of role. So you are certainly going to be moving into a new setting that does seem to be what is working out for you.
You mentioned "what does the cards suggest that i do? ]
What to do? The position that are active would be 3 and 8.
3 was a pentacle so nothing you can do there, those are results not anything you have real control over. Those are in the hands of heaven.
8 is the Chariot so that you can work with, the Chariot is addressing basic role patterns, and also that new love we saw. You know what I would do? Draw up a nice warm bath and light some candles and dream... dream of the life you want. See that home, those friends, that town... and that lover, who is so great for you, imagine imagine imagine and know you WILL have that. It is in the cards!
what am i doing wrong in my efforts to change things and better my life?
I don't think we are ever doing anything "wrong" whatever is going on must be where you need to be right now. I would stay focused on imagining what you want, and not be too focused on where you at. All that is being swept out to sea. NOT your problem. Your life is on a new trajectory for sure. Expect doors to now open, expect the phone to ring, expect knocks on your door...
You: (opening the door) yes?
The new person: cylll? Are you cylll?
You: Yes, what is this about?
The new person: Cylll, I have been instructed by my employer to provide a limo ride for you to a new life. All arranged. Would you please pack a few things, not much, what you are wearing is enough, and come with me?
You: Really? Is this a joke?
The new person: No joke... a new life cylll. Courtesy of... well, you will have to take my word for it. Are you ready to begin your brand spanking new life cylll?
you: Oh god oh god yes thank you thank you...
The new person (chauffeur): No need to thank me cylll, everything has been taken care of.
you: Oh god oh god yes thank you thank you thank you...
you: LET'S GO!
cylll, you will break a new land speed record for a human being on your way out that door.
Something very nice, and very new... and all expenses paid...
"are my expectations too high that they keep me from enjoying what i have in life?"
not high enough, you have only scratched the surface!
"i want success, peace of mind, and friends that i can make memories with without worrying about pettiness and jealousy. not an easy feat, i know :)"
The only feat you'll need where you are going are happy feet dear cylll, happy... happy, happy feet.
aahhh thank you so so much! you don't know how much reading this has helped me
you are spot-on about so many things. i crave honest and possitive communication in all sorts of relationships in my life, it's very very important to me. my main social circle has lacked in this aspect for as long as i have known them and i feel like i'm at my breaking point. just as you perfectly put it, i don't have anything else to give anymore. i'm definitely done. that doesn't mean i don't like or appreciate them anymore, it's just not enough anymore.
so it's really great to hear that the universe is putting together something more to my liking. i always ask for advice and things to do because i feel like it's a bit lazy and unrealistic to expect things to change on their own. however, this reading helped me believe and have faith in my own efforts so far. it's always nice to hear you're on the right track, so thank you for that, as well.
lastly, i wasn't expecting a new love to appear there! i didn't even put it in my little list of "things i want" in my first post because frankly.. i just lost hope in it. i can't help but be curious, though.. who is he? ha! is he the chariot? what's he like?
thanks again! it's very very kind of you.
i wish i was good at tarot and could offer a reading in return but i'm lousy at it
I wrote the below "reading" a few days ago (I guess it is a reading I think they are just love letters to one another), and have waited to post it... I thought this is too much 'out there' romance-cuppy stuff, however it was from my heart so I figure why not share and you can see what it means for you. I know you dream of love... all I know is you will find that ...and more. much love, astra
You are so very welcome on the 'reading'. Glad it has helped!
Let's take a look at that mention of a love entering your life. Who is he? What's he like?
I have not been doing readings about questions like that in a while, however we can give it a try and I will share what seems to be suggested, how does that sound? You can weigh it and see what you think, it's all for fun really.
Okay, first card is the Page of Cups.
Well, that is a really really nice love card very tender and reaching out, innocent. So I would say this person would be very straightforward, maybe a little shy the first time you meet him. Very approachable though. And the two of you will strike it off in nice talk easily. It will be gentle and nice communicating with him. So who is he? He is a communicator. He will love to talk to you in emotional ways. This is how you will begin with him.
The second card is the Seven of Cups. This is what he will say to you, in response to a question you will ask him. He will reply, "Yes, I dreamed of you, and here you are." Something like that. He is a dream, a dreamer type. You will catch him with his face in the clouds, off in la la land once in a while. And that will be nice because he sees you in the sky, as much as on the earth.
Who is he? He is a love dreamer.
The third card is how he grows, the Eight of Cups. That is his heart toward you I am sure. Once that door opens of love, he will be so delightful with you. All over you, delirious love. This is a door way to love, so expect him to do nice things for you, open doors and all that. He would lay his coat on the ground for you. Love only grows with him. It grows and grows and grows... Who is he? He is a dreamer and his dreams of you go on and on and on...
The fourth card is your foundation in love. The Queen of Swords. Communication and a dependable style of talking, sharing, that you can count on. He will be all about communication and clarity in his life with you. You will hear him ask you at times, "Say cylll, do you remember mentioning this the other day? Well, I have some more thoughts on that for you." In other words, the things you say to one another will be very important and valued. Maintaining clear and open dialogue patterns is what he sees as a foundation for the two of you. Who is this man? He is a dependable communicator.
What changes might you expect with him? The Hierophant is a sign of love and a sign of communication changes. So what changes for you is a change to dependable emotional relationships, and a change in the communication atmosphere, toward something really nice with him. A change toward open hearts, and pleasant conversations. Maybe an area you have longed to see changes in with someone nice? He will provide that for you. Who is this man? He is a help to you in taking you to more pleasant lands of love, and communication.
How will your social life play out? What will you share between you, and with others? The 9 of Wands is a fulfilled path and role. You will be complete with him, an established and dependable sign of path maturity and fulfillment. Others will see that and be amazed. Wow, look at her and him... I wish I could experience that. Look at how much they share back and forth, I wish I could have that. There is something here really special about you and him (and I have to say the two of you, this is really about your relationship, not him alone). That something special is yourselves! The two of you together IS the gift to your life around you. When the two of you walk into a room, the crowd will turn and see you and you will hear a pin drop. Everyone knows the look of love, and all the world pauses to take in that sight - of the two of you. Who is this man? Who is this lady? What is this love? Fulfilling. Deeply... fulfilling.
Rest and reflection. And when the crowd goes home, and it just you and him, alone, what then?
The Three of Swords. What is that? Probably cutting up, telling jokes haha... carrying a little plastic sword in your pocket ready to attack him for all those nasty things he did! All in fun. He will carry a squirt gun perhaps... filled with Absolut... love... open wide cylll. Open your heart to love because that is what is reflecting on you. Who is this man? He knows what aisle the liquor is on at Walmart.
What is expansive about him? And you? And this relationship? The King of Pentacles. Well, it won't be searching for love in the bargain basement, It will be a richly appointed love, and it will always grow. Wealth and riches shall be in your hearts, and your passion for one another will endure forever. King of Pentacles relationships? The hush in the room begins, as soon as they know you are on the way. That is a King of Pentacles love life.
Oh, I can't stop! We must go on! We have to go on cylll! What is something else fulfilling about him? The Magician is that little boy you played with in the second grade and he showed you his, and you showed him yours. Little toys that is. Magic... tricks. That is what you will love about him, the way he fulfills your need for play. Light hearted and always with a smil and a laugh. And surprises, maybe his disappearing ink trick... maybe his fake fly in the ice cube gag. Maybe he pulls you aside from your lives and whispers to you,
"cylll have you ever seen the disappearing couple trick?"
"... oh no, I don't think you have shown me that one."
And he reaches up in the air and pulls an envelope out of nowhere and says "abra cadabra!" and he tells you, "the trick is, you must open the envelope cylll!" and you do that... and inside are....
- tickets for two on a plane to an island hideaway so the two of you can be alone
an all expense paid trip to love land... to a place where all the stars will come out and shine over you.
And beach sand, and your favorite music, songs of dreams, and your toes in each others surf...
"And now, allow me to perform this magic trick on you."
And he will wave his wand. And point to the glass doors of the very large room where once there was a crowd and now there is only you.
And you will look out and see a dark limo with your name in it in light... cylll, i love you... draped like a crescent moon... and he will take you in his arms and whisk you away... and as you go, as you take wings, as your eyes settle on this island hideaway he will reach over and whisper to you... 'this is the disappearing couple in love trick... " and kisses you softly.
And then of course... he takes out that squirt gun and proceeds to shower you with the splashing waves... absolut delight in love...
What is fulfilling about this man? Everything!
And at last we come to that one little card that says it all, it says where you've been, and where you're going. It speaks of changes, it whispers of transitions... and that is... that is... that is..............
The 6 of Cups. The nicest, softest, gentlest, most delicate, most tender hearted, most delicious and delightful, most exquisitely genuine and affectionate... most transparent... most authentic... the happiest, the smilingest, the most playful... the most searching for superlatives of love...
...sign in all of life.
Who is this man? He is a man who you can trust at last with your heart. Because deep down, you always knew him. And he always knew you. Ever since that playground. When first you met. It was destined cylll... that you would meet him. It was written before the sun shone in the sky. Who is he?
He the man you always dreamed of.
ahhhhh this was so much fun to read, thank you thank you thank you!
and if he turns out to be chuck bass in a limo, i'll seriously owe you a big one astra! ha!
it doesn't sound possible at all, frankly, (i did say i lost hope ) but it's all in good fun and put a smile on my face, so thanks a lot again! i don't know what i did to deserve so much kindness but i really appreciate it.
You are so welcome cylll
He is out there is all I know. Your prince charming. When you least expect it... love.
Of course it never sounds possible. That is the way love is, it is impossible. Which makes it that much more wonderful.
He is probably someone you already know. Someone you see from time to time. Is there someone like that you have a secret crush on?
i don't know.. there are a few that come to mind but none of them particularly stand out to be honest we'll wait and see i guess. thanks again! you're the best