To Astra Angel ~ Letting You Know What's Going On...



  • Hey there, Astra Angel!

    I hope everything is fine. I wanted to give you an update on what's been going on with me:

    My job search isn't QUITE over, BUT I do have a job, or rather, THREE jobs, as a teacher. That's right. I'm a crochet instructor at THREE different stores! One of the stores offered to let me teach sewing classes as well! It's pretty exciting. I don't have any income yet since it's commission based and attendance based, but I do get to set my own schedule and in some cases come up with the cirriculum for the classes themselves. I don't know how much I will make, but I'm sure glad to have some form of income again!

    Another thing is I'm taking some action in the relationship department by signing up on a dating website. I'm pretty nervous about it since I'll have to make the first move, but I've already seen a couple of possibilities. I hope something good will come of it.

    Also, my little sister lost her job just last week, putting her wedding plans on hold. It's a real bummer because she was going to do a themed wedding which would've giving me the opportunity to use my sewing skills to make a costume. She's seriously considering scrapping the whole ceremony and just go to the justice of the peace. It's been one thing after another for her this year (there were other things going on as well), and I'm seriously hoping she's not catching my bad luck. She awfully broken up over it.

    I want to thank you for cheering me on for the past year, and if you offer any insight into my current situation, I'd greatly appreciate it!

    JoyLily



  • Hi JoyLily!

    Nice to hear from you and that all sounds wonderful (except for the part about your little sister! I hope that changes for her, maybe the justice of the peace is as good a way as any to get the job done so to speak).

    How cool you are teaching around something you love to do! That sounds perfect for you and I am sure that will continue to flourish. I would like something like that, as long as it was in an area I was really comfortable with.

    Here are a few cards for you... I am always changing my approach so I hope it is meaningful for you!

    I will start with 2 cards that sort of sum up where you are at...

    the Hanged Man (reflection) and the Knight of Cups (love focus)

    So, you seem to be in a really peaceful place in your life, and still dreaming of love...

    1. Something beginning. The 3 of Pentacles. I think that could be about your work you are doing now, that seems to be really working well for you how nice.

    2. Something affirming. The Lovers. So, that is saying YES to love. So JoyLily your heart is very open to love now it seems. Maybe the work settings have settled out a little and you are more open to the prospect now of finding someone nice for you, a plus in an already lovely life. yours.

    3. Something growing or nurturing, is the 3 of Cups. So that seems really nice too! Like your emotional life is really growing and reaching some very dependable growth and depth. This is a "3" card in the "3" position, so that is emphasized. Your emotional well being is really "growing well."

    4. A foundation for you these days... the 9 of cups. 9's are very established. Like a foundation in their own right. So this is really cool, you are able to grow emotionally, even while you are very well established emotionally. In general it seems your feelings are coming our more lately,

    5. Changes. The 6 of Wands. So that means something about your social and sharing paths with others, the way that is handled, is changing, This could be your change of work style? Not so much in a regular job, rather you are in a new path of sharing what you love to do.

    6. Social and sharing, The 7 of Swords, is a imaginative thinking pattern, so this is "sharing" in some way as it relates to others. The way you "plan" and "imagine" your life is somehow being shared with others, you are relating to your world more about your dreams.

    7. Resting and imagination. the 4 of Cups, So that is emotional foundations once again (you are really on some solid ground emotionally lately JoyLily, so that is very good for you in love, because you are comfortable with yourself, who you are. Because you are emotionally balanced and steady means that something nice can be added to your love life that is a positive addition. A 4 of cups in a resting position is very much at peace and settled, so that is good ground to build on emotionally.

    8. Expansive, what is really being focused on is nurturing, the Empress she is the 4th card in the major set, so she is all about foundations as well. So that seems your "nurturing" side of life is really where a lot of your energy is being invested. Nurturing yourself, nurturing others (maybe in the new work you are doing with others, instructing). This connects back to your other cards, so "nurturing" your reflective nature, and nurturing the Knight of Cups (as a love symbol for you?) seems to be your thing lately.

    Overall it looks wonderful to me. It does seem like you are ready for more in life emotionally, so it will be interesting to see what your next "update" tells us... my guess it will have something to do with a Knight of Cups 🙂

    Blessings to you JoyLily, you have travelled some tough roads, I think you are really happy to see these developments lately! 🙂

    astra

    Oh, your little sister?

    5 of Pentacles (that seems like the wedding changes), the Star (hope regardless unfading) and the Fool (basically means just go for it casting caution to the wind)


    Justice of the Peace: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to....

    JoyLily's little sister: Hey, can you just cut to the chase and marry us for god's sake?

    Justice of the Peace: Okay... write me a check for $35 and sign here... the two of you...

    scribble... scribble...

    JoyLily's little sister: Okay, there. We signed. And here is your check! Now, MAKE ME MARRIED!

    Justice of the Peace: Okay, you're now married. Have fun.

    JoyLily's little sister: YESSS! Yippie! Hooray!!!!!!!

    JoyLily's little sister: okay, now... where are we going for a honeymoon?

    Joylily's new husband: I.... I have no idea. You dragged me down here on my lunch break...



  • LOL! I enjoyed reading this! Though I think all of this is a little overwhelming and frustrating. It's the holiday season and not a lot of folks are interested in taking classes at this time, plus, one of the stores is trying out a new system that the customers have not caught on yet, so it's slow goings.

    On the upside, one of the other stores had their chrochet teacher suddenly decide to quit. I was originally supposed to take over in February (when they said they were leaving) and have only two of the classes in January to ease myself in, but now all of the classes are mine. There's one on the 17th of this month that already has four students! I haven't been able to get anyone to sign up at the other place no matter how many demonstrations (which I thankfully get paid for) and some serious interest from several people, but I managed to snag a few students with just one demonstration at the other place in addition to that one class that originally wasn't going to be mine!

    I also had an interview a couple of weeks ago with yet another store that specializes in quilting and in embroidery looking for part time sales people (up my experience alley!). I've always wanted to quilt too and may eventually take some classes there. They have an employee who's thinking about leaving, so they were going through their options. I also got to talk to the store's owner about leaving business cards for anyone looking for a seamstress or quilter. I specialize in costuming and accessories like handbags, and he said that's perfectly fine. People ask them for all sorts of things. The only issue is how much are those cards going to cost to look professional. I'm trying to be careful with my money and build my savings up again.

    As for my sister. You pretty much described it. I think the wedding plans are still on, but she's taking advantage of her unemployment and is trying to start a business in gun manufacturing (yep, gun manufacturing). Her fiance is very knowledgable about guns and taught her how to handle and shoot one and even how to put a custom one together! He had been trying to start a business himself for the last two years. Moneywise, I think they're okay. Her fiance is apparently getting a pay raise that would be equivalent to what my sis used to make on top of what he's making now (he's an IT). However I know sis will chew her arm off without something to do, and she still wants to pay her loans off. If things go well, she might let me in on the business. 😉

    It sounds like I'm being pulled in a lot of directions already when it comes to possible avenues of incomes. I just hope I can juggle it all!

    Also, and I never thought I would post something like this, I think I just met someone. Not on the dating site I signed up for (though he said he was on it earlier this year!), but on a writing blog! I can't tell if he's interested in me, or if he's not, or if he's just pretending he's not. He's been through a lot this past year and is just getting to where he's content where he is. At times I feel too pushy, but we're getting to know each other as friends. We emailed and texted each other the last three weeks, and today I got a chance to talk with him on the phone for a few minutes! The only problem is he's in Wisconson and I'm in Texas. XD I really know how to pick 'em! We have a lot of the same general interests, and the both of us were also brought up in the same belief system. It's weird because every time I kept telling myself we're not really that compatible, he proves me wrong. My heart keeps running away from me!

    I wish to be logical about this. If we're just meant to be good friends, fine, I'll do my best to accept that. But if there's a chance, I want to know what I can do.

    My DOB: 07/21/1982

    His DOB: 09/05/1983

    Thanks for all your encouragement, Astra. I'll keep you posted on what happens!

    ~JoyLily~



  • Hi joylily sorry about popping in on your thread but I want to say thank you for your inspiration. I have been looking for another job or a part time job to go with my current job since they cut my hours. Also you can create your own business cards for around $15 less if you get the cards on sale or go to vista print . com and they will help you get started. they are always running specials

    Thank you again and I hope this info helps



  • Thanks for the tip, Shadowmist! I'll have to wait until after the holidays. My hands are quite full at the moment. I hope you find that second job!

    ~LilyJoy~



  • Bump-A-Di-Bump!



  • ANOTHER UPDATE: The guy I mentioned earlier has expressed interest me. We actually did some serious talking tonight via A LOT of texting. I got a chance to tell him that I like him. He was clearly happy about it. He did mention having long distance relationships before which I thought he had no interest in before. We haven't made anything official, but I do hope to ask him directly next time we talk! Any information you or anyone reading can give me would be awesome!

    ~JoyLily~



  • Hi joylily

    that is so great to hear about you and your new person in your life! i am so happy for you. You certainly deserve this, and I am really wishing for everything to be so nice here...



  • Hello again, Astra,

    Things have gotten a little more complicated since my last post, not just in life in general, but also in my new relationship..

    I don't know if you know this, but we're not serious and are basically at that "enjoying each others company" stage. No boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. He is still struggling to move past all the things that happened to him last year (his ex-fiance left him for another man this time last year and then came back and strung him along for several month while being with that other man). He says it will be a long long time before he would be ready for something serious, and that's okay with me. That's not what's bothering me.

    I'm afraid I might've stepped over a line the other day. I was trying to be cute and funny like I've done many times before, but he took it the wrong way. He wasn't angry as it wasn't anything major, but it was like I struck some sort of chord with him. He said that 'it would be wise for us to avoid the romantic' which didn't make any sense too me (we've been romantic with each other through texts many times before). Anyways, I apologized and explained myself. He said there was no need to do so and then proceeded to ask me about the classes I was teaching. I haven't spoken to him since. Though his tendency to disappear for a while and not answer my texts is nothing out of the ordinary (when he does respond, he often refers to the earlier texts that he didn't answer) I feel something is off-kilter. After sending two texts I knew he wasn't going to answer, one the day before and they other today, I completely stopped. We usually text each other a lot on Sunday evenings. I didn't bother this time. I'm usually the one who prompts it. I'm really afraid of asking what he meant. It was so unlike him.

    There's no doubt he likes me, I just wish I knew what made him act that way. It has never been a problem before. I really do care for him, and I want to handle this issue with care. He was very patient with me when I had a bit of a breakdown last month. I've been told by the Captain that I need to have a great deal of patience as well if I wanted it to work out in the end. I don't know if I have it. I understand this is not going to be an easy month for him, and maybe that's all it is. Or maybe he thought I was trying to take things further? I don't know. It's been bothering me a lot. I'm completely new at all of this.

    ~JoyLily~



  • Hi JoyLily,

    Okay, I can hear your heart in this I believe, it does sound like something nice developing with him, and you want to keep that nice flow going. I agree with the Captain, patience really works wonders. It sounds like you are a little concerned though, so I can try to look at some cards and share what seems to show up.

    Ace of Pentacles - oh that is nice JoyLily! That is one of the best cards. So, that is beginning maybe this is capturing the promise of this relationship. It has been showing a lot of wonderful potential, there is much possibilities here of a very complete, working nice, relationship on all levels. So that is how things begin.

    Then, the Page of Pentacles. So we are continuing that theme now, of beginnings, taking a step, a risk perhaps. I think this is referring to your " I was trying to be cute and funny like I've done many times before" moment, that was a little bit of a "testing the waters" perhaps, and so that shows a little step of playfulness in some physical way, earth.

    Death. Hmm... that could be picking up on his reaction? That is quite a contrast to the nice pentacle beginnings and that page. I am not sure.... let's say that this represents your guy friend's reaction to that moment, okay?

    ...Okay sure...

    So... let's see what happens next...

    King of Pentacles.

    ...What does that mean? Is that him?...

    Could be. The good news is we were in a very nice pentacle series. Ace, Page... then something breaks that (death)... and then we go right back to Pentacles. So that sounds like a good thing. We are right back in that flow again.

    I really don't think you have anything to be concerned about. I would just forget about it. Whatever that issue was just let it pass. It can't be that serious. It is actually a good experience for the two of you, that is the only way you can learn about each other is take some little risks and see where the boundaries are, you know?

    So you took a little step, tested some waters in some way with him, innocently enough... and he reacted so that is helpful to know. It is difficult to know what someone else is really thinking and when things go "quiet" I know how that can make you wonder, "omg, have I ruined things? What happened? What is he thinking! Oh no... !" However it is all a part of your relationship. Even when matters turn a little quiet, somehow it was needed that it happen that way.

    ... do you see anything else?...

    Well, let's see...

    Queen of Cups. That must be you JoyLily. See? You and he are still together! The King... then you, the Queen... so that seems like a very nice affirmation that all is perfectly okay, the Captain is exactly right, just be patient and all will flow along... you'll see! I hope that helps...

    best to you JoyLily!

    astra



  • Astra,

    Yes, that did help a lot.

    He did get back to me eventually on that second text I gave him. I asked him about his day. He said, "good and bad." I tried fishing it out of him. In response to the bad part, he said "people suck" and when I inquired further "long story." I told him I had plenty of time to listen. He said "Nah, not tonight." So I dropped it and asked what he was doing. He told me he was gaming with a friend, I said "Fun!" after than, and the conversation dropped off from there.

    Then he came back a couple hours later he gave me a text out of the blue, saying, "I still hurt from my ex" and proceeded to spill his guts with a couple more texts (they weren't long, but it was a lot for him). "It's hard imagining forming that bond with anyone else and hurts even more that she was so easily able to replace it." and "I hate and love her all at the same time." Somewhere in there I made a lame attempt at comfort and empathy (relating one of the times I missed my chance with someone really great).

    I typed this conversation out because it really struck me. Outside of his regular writing and his blog, he tends to avoid the subject of his ex. The only other time he really talked about her with me is the night we admitted we liked each other. It was one of the few times he was VERY talkative with me via text. Email is the only other way I can get him to talk a lot outside of his blog, and that has dropped of since the new year. Now I know why.

    It's been a couple of days since we've had a conversation, but he's dealing with an injury right now and needs his rest. 🙂 I sent a couple of texts for him to respond to later. He's been a real test of patience, but when I have his attention, it's wonderful, even though we've backed off on the romantic stuff right now. Don't know how it'll turn out in the future.

    I intend to call him again sometime this weekend. He's an elusive guy when it comes to his phone, so it's always a hit or miss. If I get him at the right time, It'll give us a chance to have a real conversation. I'm not hoping to push anything on him, but I do want to let him know I'm there for him. It's pretty hard to express that with a text.

    ~JoyLily~



  • Hi joylily,

    I tell you what, you have all the makings here of such a beautiful relationship with this guy, everything is so nice in your heart toward him. I see only wonderful things growing between the two of you... and I think you must be doing and saying exactly what is perfect, for him right now.

    It does sound like he has been through a lot somehow, maybe we all have in different ways. I think he really trusts you, to share about his ex that way, "spilling his guts...", that does sound like he sees you as someone he can really be himself with and open up to. I think he is trying anyway. When we trust someone with our heart and then it doesn't exactly work out... we really really opened our heart to one another... and then, to have it end, or to become hurt, lost, feeling abandoned... well, I don't know how anyone ever recovers from that. We meet someone special, like an angel sent at just the right moment... and then that seems to send our hearts soaring to some realm of love that is so pure, and can never be hurt. It is a place easy to get lost in (sorta where I am in my life I think... I really don't know up from down any more... maybe a pre-requisite to be a tarot reader?)

    3 of swords. well, that card would have to show up. I am crying anyway, maybe that is the heartbreak card after all... heartbreak from what I wonder? trusting and then not knowing where to turn? maybe how we all started, as little babies. Just trying to trust in this new life we are given...

    9 of swords... yes, I would say your friend is really going through something joylily. that is a lot of mental sort of concerns, trying to understand you know? I generally don't see the swords as bad or anything, however they do seem to point to the painful memories and situations we find ourselves in. And then, you can feel like the whole sky... the earth, everything... is just waiting to pounce on you. That will make you cry, that place. Somewhere though... deep within we know we are loved though. Even if it isn't apparent in life, at least in the way we thought it should be. So you just fall in love with that mysterious little place inside. Like a mystery lover within, who is always there, and always loving, and knows me better than I know myself. Who... or what that is... I do not know... I write about her. And yet I never really know for sure.

    Sri... I don't mean to go off on my own stuff joylily... I guess your situation I can relate too so well. I must be the guy... you know? At least I can identify with him pretty well... maybe me and about a million other guys today.

    Knight of Wands. Whew! Not another sword haha... a visionary joylily. Your guy friend must be a visionary sort of man, and so perhaps that has required him to experience things that someone else hasn't. Some letdowns... disappointments in love... in order to discover his way, his path, his 'meaning' in life. So, I think all is going perfectly for you and him. Even though the txting and all is sorta hit or miss... and you are probably left with questions about him... still, he is in the care of heaven, and all of this must be happening exactly as it should be.

    4 of Pentacles... solid earth card. Foundations... dependable and secure physical foundations. I think that is where everything is leading for you and him dear joylily... right now you are "in air"... you are working through communication patterns, and discovering how you communicate. And we have seen pentacles and cups already... and here are the swords... so there is really a sense about you and him that all is leading toward something really solid and trustworthy in your physical relationship. Doesn't that sound nice? That is how I always saw love. That it would be two people becoming one, in every way... then, the earth (your physical patterns and all) work out beautifully, like a garden... of flowers... and kindness and sunrises and birds singing in the air... oh wow, you really send me out there JoyLily... well, its not you, its me I guess. I love those realms though. I think your guy does too. He is all about a magical and mysterious love that is so deep, he sees that in you... so now he is learning that he can...

    trust again.



  • Thank you Astra, for sharing those thoughts with me. I can definitely see how you and this man (I should just call him "Paul") are a lot alike in many ways. I too have a secret lover hidden in my own heart, and it looks like Paul is the manifistation of it. I keep thinking all the things you told me Astra, and all the things I said, since my cousin's wedding a little over two years ago. I don't want to become too hopeful, but so much of it describes Paul and me. It would take too long to point out everything.

    We had a couple of very good talks since last week. I haven't been able to get him on the phone yet (he's been at a conference for his company all week and is talked out! Oh, and it was in Florida), but some very interesting revelations came up. I don't want to go into detail as it would be too personal. However, you picking up on our physical relationship and how nicely it is developing, despite us being states apart, is spot on. We are certainly physically attracted to each other, even though we've never met in person (you can blame that on our writing!). He still says not to expect anything. He can't promise long term. I know that's his fear talking, but it's okay. I have no clue what will happen in the future. It just feels good to be wanted, and that's all I'm concentrating on right now.

    I guess you can call what we're doing "dating". There's no actual relationship to speak of at the moment. However, I finally got up to courage to ask him if he would like to meet someday. It came up once before then was dropped because of the holidays. I'm the more hesitant one, at least, I was until tonight. We haven't decided anything and figured we should hold off for now, as my current job situation needs to be resolved first. Paul is amazing. I shared many things with him this week that I could not share with anyone else, except maybe my sister. He's done the same with me, and it makes me wonder if the only reason why he doesn't want anything official is because he expects me to do the same thing that his ex did (not because he thinks I'm unfaithful, he's just projecting what she did onto anyone else he might be interested in, namely me). I only wish to be his girlfriend right now. No long term stuff.

    Thank you again, Astra. You've been wonderful this whole time. You and the others here have given me great support and guidance. As always, I'm open for any more insight you might have on the situation.

    ~JoyLily~



  • Astral Angel! I really like your readings. Will it be difficult to do reading for me on my job situation?



  • Hi Joylily

    I thought everything you shared sounded so perfect.

    "We are certainly physically attracted to each other, even though we've never met in person (you can blame that on our writing!)."

    I think some of the most wonderful relationships can happen when we are apart physically. Then you can really tune into one another's heart. So that explains a lot here.

    "He still says not to expect anything. He can't promise long term. I know that's his fear talking, but it's okay. I have no clue what will happen in the future. It just feels good to be wanted, and that's all I'm concentrating on right now."

    I am sure that things will simply develop nicely in their own way and time. Yes, that is a nice feeling isn't it? To know someone loves you, and wants you. Talk about a nice setting for romance.

    "I guess you can call what we're doing "dating". There's no actual relationship to speak of at the moment" ... well it sounds like one those relationships up in the sky to me. Nice and gentle and floating free.. maybe clouds can date...

    "Paul is amazing. I shared many things with him this week that I could not share with anyone else, except maybe my sister. He's done the same with me, and it makes me wonder if the only reason why he doesn't want anything official is because he expects me to do the same thing that his ex did (not because he thinks I'm unfaithful, he's just projecting what she did onto anyone else he might be interested in, namely me). I only wish to be his girlfriend right now. No long term stuff."

    Yes, this is probably a common sort of thing to deal with. So I am sure he will grow through it. Sounds like you two do have a fantastic communication pattern evolving so that sounds so wonderful. I see only bluebirds and kisses and very nice things ahead for you and Paul. The only insight I have is there is something really beautiful here with you and him. And you are right, the people on this forum, everyone is so helpful and encouraging.

    Our own little slice of heaven...

    And here are some nice Florida palms for you... I am sure he is saying how much he loves you...



  • Hi futurist,

    I will start a new thread for you on your job situation...



  • Thanks! I am anxious to see what you think...:-)



  • Hey Astra, hope everything is fine on your end. 🙂

    I do have some interesting developments happening in the job department I wanted to share. I got a chance to get someone's attention at one of the stores I teach in and told them I was interested in becoming a regular associate. They are hiring at this time, and since I know I'm already in their system, it'll be easy for them to simply change my status so I can get more hours.

    In the meantime, I had a chance to talk to a lady who was a student of mine last Saturday, who mentioned that her son worked for a sound and light company that helps with local theater productions. She said they often have performing groups come from places like New York, and they would hire locals to do their costumes! I'll be meeting up with her this next Saturday for an event we've been holding at the store and will get to talk to her more at length about this opportunity. She was going to mention me to her son and get some more information on this.

    I was also encouraged to go ahead and make some business cards for myself and give them to the local fabric and sewing stores. I'm waiting on my sister's final approval, since she's done this before. Then I'll order them. It's pretty exciting that I'm finally going to get some real money flow working in something that I love. Even just getting more hours at the store is great, since the product is more along my interests anyway.

    As for Paul, well, about two weeks ago, we got into a serious discussion about how to meet. I thought of a reenactment event that will take place in May, since he mentioned he likes costumes. 🙂 I got a little nervous about how it was going to turn out. He was very reassuring about everything and even got into the idea of dressing up (we had fun figuring out what we were going to wear). But lately, he hasn't said much about it, almost like he's having second thoughts.

    I also think I stepped over another line last week (from today actually), where I mentioned that I would like to call the next time we talked. He seemed okay with the request, though he mentioned that he'll be pretty busy (he travels a lot). I said it was okay if he couldn't, I just wanted to hear his voice. That's when he got worried and told me not to expect anything ("I'm afraid you're investing too much in me" were his exact words). I assured him I wasn't, and seemed okay with my answer. Things went on like before.

    This past week he wasn't talkative, which is normal after we have a period of a lot of talking, but it did worry me. It's hard to determine when certain things are okay. I never say anything out of the ordinary, I just say it at the right moment where it seems to trigger something in him. Paul is never mean about it, just worried that I might be banking too much on this. I'm only trying to enjoy the way things are right now and focusing on how to meet, and even that is still up in the air and a little too far off to solidify plans right now.

    I guess I'm just reading too much into things. I always feel like he's going to drop out of sight and never say anything again every time it happens. He always proves me wrong though. I'll just try to keep being patient with him.

    ~JoyLily~



  • Hi JoyLily

    That is great on your work, I am excited for you! That does sound wonderful to see doors opening that you can step into your role in the costume creating, and getting business cards sounds like a great idea too! I am sure everything will continue developing for you... the theater related work sounds cool, I used to work on theater related design work for this area once upon a time (graphics and such).

    As for your friend, it sounds like all is fine to me. You seem to be pretty tuned in to him, so I am certain you will make whatever little adjustments are needed as you go along... you have a lot of intuition so you will be able to sense where he is at and go with the flow. I think the times away from open communication with him is just as important as the times you are actually talking, I was thinking today about how those are times when we can connect closer and closer emotionally with someone. That is a very good foundation for a relationship. That keeps freedom in the setting, the atmosphere... and that nurtures trust and closeness... so I think these quiet times are good for the two of you too.

    I drew the Knight of Cups just sort of sitting here idly flipping through cards, so that is nice... shows some real love-emotion interest here for sure! Of course I see love in anything, so don't listen to me haha... that is really cool on your work, you do sound so creative. I think that is wonderful!

    I did a painting today I thought was fun, I have been doing these patterns off and on... just sort of mindless scribbling really... not sure about the art, trying to find the passion again I guess. You should post a pic sometime of your costumes perhaps I would love to see what you create...



  • Dear Astra,

    I'm glad you see a lot of positive things in our relationship. I don't sense the same though. I don't know why.

    We had a couple of really good talks after my last post, especially Thursday when I got a chance to talk to him on the phone for about an hour. Currently he's silent again. Normal for him. I just don't understand where my anxiety is coming from. Maybe it's because it's not serious, and I'm afraid that it'll suddenly end at any time. I don't want that to happen.

    I also find myself wondering what he feels about me. I care about him very much and admire the way he's so driven in his goals right now (he gave me a serious pep talk on the phone). I can see why he doesn't want to invest in a relationship when he has so many other things going for him. It kind of stinks when you have feelings for someone whose not very interested in you that way. I've kept the emotional roller coaster to myself, since it would certainly complicate things if I try to push right now.

    As for jobs, I did have an interview Monday for an assistant manager position in a store, located inside a hospital that specializes in gifts for newborns and mommies. It's the cutest store I've ever seen! The lady manager was so nice (and talkative!), and she pretty much made up her mind to hire me at the end of the interview. It's only part time, but the pay is decent, there are opportunities for extra hours as an associate in their main store located at the same hospital and also holiday pay and other benefits too. I'll be supplementing with my classes and hopefully hours at one of the other stores I teach in.

    I'll also be ordering little business cards this week among other things to get myself ready for work. The cards will be for advertising my costuming skills at the sewing stores around here and anyone I run into that might be interested. I hope I don't exhaust myself on this!

    As for a picture of a costume, here's one from two years ago. I've made a much better version of this outfit last year, but sadly, I don't have pictures. This is my favorite pose though.

    ~JoyLily~