Blmoon, may i also ask you please question?
Hello, Blmoon! If you have time could you please tell me your insight on my situation.
I am kind of in love with a guy i have never met in person. We were communicating in internet for more than a year now, there was lots of quarrels between us. Due to my insecurities i was afraid to meet with him and he wanted a meeting but not just to talk he wanted more (although i always told him that he could not like me in reality). So in summer i felt he became colder to me, i decided to delete my profile, thought that i would forget him, but not long ago i wrote him again. He told me that he was indifferent to my appearance, but i felt that he was not sincere, and he asked again to meet. I tried to joke, said no and he asked not to write him and put me in a block list (( But i want this meeting, just maybe not in a way he wants, i am afraid he can hurt me and that the meeting will bring disappointment. And i think he lost his interest?
The problem is that he is now always in my mind, it is like an unhealthy attachment, i need to talk to him.
Dear Blmoon, could you tell me please, do you see something for us? He is so complicated sad person, but also egoist.
I wanted to make it shorter, sorry for a long story.
Dear Blmoon! No, i am not asking to answer my question) this situation is over, i think.
But i just saw your post in topic about feeling negativity in some persons who ask for reading and i just thought that maybe also reflected some negative things? (Or maybe it was not important). Sorry that i ask, just thought that it is better to ask than to make guesses!
I was not afraid of anything dark in your post but was aware you would not be receptive to the truth. And I knew it would resolve itself. Truth is you do not have clarity about attractions that are not about love. Yet you feel love. Love is essential----it feels good to love! So often when our wounds keep us from love we will need to invent it---and if we do not love ourselves our choices in love objects will be unable to love back. You will feel as if this rejection is outside you but in reality you are attracted to situations and people who are not capable of love in a healthy way. You are isolated and prefer loving in your head---it is safer. Yet you are human enough to want more. You are trapped by your own wounds and fears. You have some insight that when he fills your mind it is unhealthy yet you can't stop---that's because he is like a drug
it masks the real pain. Without this mind occupying obsession you would be alone with your self. You must grow towards loving yourself and healing. You deserve to be safe, to be loved and feel good. Work on that and go cold turkey on the connection to him. It depletes your personal power. There is an emptiness he fills but it is just a quik fix. BLESSINGS!
Thank you Blmoon!
Yes, you are right, i think now also that then when i posted the topic i wasn't ready to hear the truth. But now with time some facts about him came out, that i didn't know and it became easier for me and it is to the best, that it happened so.
So many illusions i had(
Blmoon, i just wanted to ask you one more question please(if you have wish and time) but about job. You are so right about feel trapped and isolated and it is not only in love, i don't know why it is so in me, i suppress myself from changing my life(and i need the change), but do you think in a month or in the nearest future i will be able to overcome fears and find the job? Or just maybe any advice.