Help with Ex please.



  • Im wondering how much longer it will be before my ex will be caught in his deceptive ways again? His lawyer is very sleazy and trying every trick in the book to cause problems for me. I would just like to know when this whole mess will be over.Please.



  • It will end when you break the cycle of pain and frustration and upset - when you can feel only pity and forgiveness for your ex, the situation will finally end.



  • Each time I feel sorry for my ex, he seems to find a way to cause more problems for me and my children. I actually saw him in his old behavior again and he still is making more demands through his lawyer. I am very frustrated with him and the whole situation. I know his mother is behind the whole mess and I just want it to all be over. I know it is just a matter of time.



  • If you really want it to be over, you have to stop going back and forth in your feelings for him. YOU are the one who can stop this by not playing his games and rising to his baits. You have to pick a positive attitude and stick to it. Or else you will just get more of the same old same old. Sending negativity at him only worsens the situation. If you project at him that he is selfish and deceptive and conniving, he will respond by being so. But if you project at him that he is compassionate, fair, and reasonable, eventually he will become so. But you have to be consistent. You are the one who has to change so that your ex can change. He cannot do so on his own, at least not very quickly. Waiting for him to change on his own might take years. You can hurry the process along if you have the will and the commitment.



  • I can will him to be fair and reasonable? Well for goodness sake, I wish I would have known that years ago. 🙂 can it really be that easy? Dearest Captain, that would be wonderful! Do you think I could will the rest of his family to leave me alone in the same way, also?



  • No you cannot 'will' someone to behave better. But you can send them the positive vibes that will help them to change for the better. Sending them negative thoughts only affirms in them the urge to do wrong.



  • O.k. I think I understand. I have to send the positive thoughts and hope that those "stick " to him and that will overall help my thinking of the situation which will in turn actually make it better in reality also help good things to to reflect back for my children and I? Wish good things only for people and good will bounce back at you? Is that the idea....kind of like expecting the best and people wull rise to the occasion?



  • Show him love, light and forgiveness and even if he does not change you will have as you have allowed love into your heart. You will then start feeling positive and the whole universe will shift to focus on you and show you love in return. When some people are hurt they lash out at the ones they hold the dearest as they are hurting inside but cannot let the hurt out positively.

    Love will bring universal healing to all and show you the light at the end of the tunnel, even if the tunnel is long and arduous. Holding hate instead of love close to you heart will only turn your heart to stone and turn you into someone you will not like.

    Give out love and you will see the miracles that this plane of existence can give you.

    Peace love and light to you x



  • "expecting the best and people will rise to the occasion" - exactly!



  • Thank you both... I will be working harder on this. Blessings to you both.



  • There is nothing easy about a bitter divorce. And since you have children he will always be in your life. Right now he is at war. And his lawyer is just doing what a lawyer gets paid to do. Your own lawyer should be defending you and you must try and not let emotions take over as this is a divorce battle and you need your head on straight. It is his intention to wear you down and break you. So save your strength as emotional overload or anger can keep you from clarity. You cannot control others---only how you choose to react. Actually, if it is revenge you crave---some form of due justice ---than be happy---you being happy despite all he dishes out is karma at it's best. He does not want to see you happy---do not give him that satisfaction. You can't choose how he will treat you but you can choose to have boundaries and you can shut the door on him when he crosses the line---be firm but not jaded---have your cry because an open heart is better than being closed up ---feel your hurt but never wallow in it long---just long enough to let it pass through you----then choose to be joyful somewhere outside the drama. You can choose when to turn off your thoughts of him and instead spend happy times with loved ones. Get outside and do things you enjoy---the world is bigger than this divorce drama---it WILL be over and accept that it is the nature of divorce to be painful and hard to get through. It is why some couples stay together despite misery---divorce takes bravery and endurance. Avoid isolation---where you end up too much in your head. Choose healthy distractions to pass this time. Be busy---get physical exercise to relieve stress. Listen to music---take a dance class and soak up the positive energy of strong women. Start a meditation practice---the list is endless--YOU GET TO CHOOSE! BLESSINGS!

    PS---No one gets away with anything---what goes around comes around----there is a natural law of karma---it may not be immediate but it is relative and real somewhere down the line. Sometimes you just have to surrender to that. You can visualize a protective circle of light shield around your home at bedtime and visualize any harmful arrows being sent your way bouncing off and returning to sender. It works!



  • Further to blmoon's wonderful comments about visualisation to protect you and the children you can also use crystals to help you. Rose quartz can be programmed to defend you from unwanted negative energy. It is really cheap for a small piece and, hooding it in your left hand visualise it being in white light in order to cleanse it and tell it that is what you are doing. Once done, transfer it to you right hand and program it, asking it to ward off negative energies and people and charging it with the positive you want to attract instead.

    Take it with you everywhere and only give it positive energy and love and you will start to see the difference almost immediately and you will have created you own good luck charm



  • Blumoon and Piecespiggy, thank you so much for your kindness. I do feel as if I could use some protection nowadays. I have been hit by a lot of negativity latey an could definitely use some good luck. 🙂

    Blessings to you both. 🙂