Not really sure what I am looking for, but I have just been feeling weird lately
As of right now, I have not quite finished school(only one class remaining). I am a single parent of 1; that doesn't make enough money to fully support us. I haven't had much luck in the love department. I have been single for almost 4 years now. I tried dating once in that time, but he was already seeing someone else (I found out after about a month). As the title says, I am not exactly sure what I am looking for on here, but I feel that my mood, or thoughts lately have been taking there toll on mine and my daughters relationship.
Raising a child alone is huge, especially when going to school and working. How old is your daughter?
What field are you studying in?
It may be that you need this time to finish your schooling before that special person enters your life.
One has to have a sense of where they are going to be committed to education, Yes, that is you. When the timing is perfect you will find someone with that same level of awareness and determination to succeed and follow through.
Know in your heart exactly who you are looking for...what the qualities are in your future mate that will strengthen and nurture at the same time.
It seems you have been very careful as to who you have allowed into your life because of your daughter, and what a good parent you have been!
As she becomes more independent you may feel unappreciated, but she will, as she grows look back and appreciate your hard work and dedication.
I was single for 7 years before I found my husband, and he is every bit worth the wait., so don't give up!
You take on more responsibility for things that are not in your power. Events and disappointments are not meant to be always happy smooth sailing. That would be heaven. This is earth. Consider that even if you where rolling in cash that you and your daughter may still be having a rocky time. Try not to gather guilt when really it's not all about your failures you imagine. Money is good and can bring less stress but it is not a cure for relationships or loneliness. Spirit says the darkest of night is just before the dawn. You are leaving a phase of required focus--education. A time of focus means surrendering many other things. It brings up feelings of being trapped and not having enough time for other things and can make one feel neglectful as if they are slipping and a punishment is waiting. Really, you are mostly tired. That last up hill climb before the finish line---so tired you forget what you are working for. Life is all about cycles
the moon grows big and the energy is big---the moon disappears and the energy rests. Children reflect your own feelings about yourself--if you feel guilty they will feel you owe them. Feel confident that you do the best you can and they learn to take responsibility for their own happiness and you give them work ethic. Also, do not expect a child, specialty a teenager to appreciate your wisdom----they may not validate your efforts until after they mature. Again, you are TIRED---the well is dry. Harvest is around the corner. Treat yourself to the small but powerful things that bring you joy. Music? Dancing alone? Nature? Fixing some ugly thing that bothers you. Sleeping in? Do not feel guilty for resting even though you feel you have too much to do. Resting is as essential as the seasons. Be good to yourself......and when the timing is right you will attract a man who will be good to you to---because we by example teach others how to treat us. Respect yourself and it will change your daughter----do not expect your child to always like you---yes being friends feels better but being the parent is tougher than that. You are exactly where you are meant to be----perfection is just an idea---the moon only seems gone when it is out of sight. Your present phase is just out of sight. You are in the lull----this will pass. BLESSINGS!
My daughter is 3 1/2. I am studying education. Thank you both. I have decided to start fixing the car my dad had bought for me when I was born. It needs mostly cosmetic work. So I will put a little money into it here and there, and it will also give me and my daughter time together cleaning it up. (Since she has already claimed it as her first car). She loves that it only has 2 seats, so she has to sit upfront with me.
Hi feelingstuck...what a great project!
When you mention the relationship between you and your daughter....I had assumed she was older.
It is a wonderful insight for you to be aware of how your moods affect your young daughter..great mom! Just knowing that is a blessing for both of you, you in acknowledging your compassion, and she in knowing you seek her best interest.
lol..adorable... already claimed it as her first car. What your father gave to you, you will pass on to her..someday! Adorable too that she likes you both have to sit up front. She loves her mommy!
"Try not to gather guilt when really it's not all about your failures you imagine"
You are a wonderful diligent mother and you are doing everything you can for the both of you.
Have faith that everything will work out fine, and everything is as it needs to be at this moment.
May the angels surround you and your daughter and bring more light and blessings into your world. May they guide and protect you, and lovingly strengthen your spirit with gods love.
Hugs to both of you,
Thank you so much. That is what I needed to hear.
I have been seeing that my moods do affect the way she behaves also. Although she is only 3, she does more than some of my friends 6 yr olds do. She is advanced, I just have so much going on all the time that I have a short fuse with her even when there is no need, however, I later apologize to her.
Energy effects children very much! I worked with little ones for ten years. What children lack in thought process they make up for in "vibes". It is their language to behave accordingly with the vibes surrounding them. That's how a GOOD teacher controls a room---not by fear only but by being the ALPHA in a roomful. Children sense a teachers firm confidence and follow signs of her energy--her body language etc. Teachers know that to go to work sick or with a headache or stressed means her class will be out of sorts as well. I worked in a Montessori school where teachers use less control methods and are more about not controlling the child but REDIRECTING the child or the environment. Also, children love to be useful and by nature are pleasers so giving them jobs even if they are not perfect can help them feel less needy and more independent. Also, be aware that children go through general phases of growth that pass. And you should Know that the most intelligent future leaders often have the hardest time with behavior between 3 and six----they have to grow maturity to match their intelligence and leadership qualities. It is natural that they can be stubborn and insist doing it their way---they get bored easily and can be extra demanding and get into situations meeker children never think of.What can turn out to be excellent adult gifts can really test you as a parent or teacher of a little one who is learning discipline and boundaries. Mostly, little leaders hate being told what to do so adults need to always word commands as a choice but stress that choices come with consequences. Before punishment it should be stressed that it was their choice--that they made a wrong choice. Reward them for good choices by acknowledging the little stuff. This way it helps you withe carrying the guilt of enforcing consequences. Also know that children DO have to be told the same thing everyday--sigh--it's true that for little ones everyday is a clean slate and they will always try to get a rule bent. Consistency is key. If you bend a rule once--a child will take it as permission to keep trying. Never negotiate with basic rules---a good teacher walks away without eye contact from a child's attempt to argue what is firm in a teachers boundaries. Also, some temper tantrums are just needed meltdowns---a nervous system release that means nothing else. It's harder for moms than teachers not to over think the normal things. BLESSINGS!