Captian, may I have some of your insight?
Hello once again Captain. I truly hope you are fulfilled and joyous at this time, surrounded only by light and good karma for all your kind acts. I ask for your wisdom once again, it is funny, when at the worsts situations in my life, I think of you often as a person to turn to.
I am in a dark situation currently. I am not in danger of violence or anything of that nature, but there are rifts forming between my mother/family and I along with economic problems that are just making it all the more difficult. I have recently graduated from University and am trained to do Massage in another state but once I got licensed we moved to another state, making my license useless unless I work back in that other state (which there seem to be no massage jobs at this time). On top of this, I had a saddening revelation that I...honestly don't want to do massage as a career, it didn't make me happy as I thought it would and only drained me. I've been really wanting to do social work or something volunteer based (As my astrology chart is strong in the 11th house Sun/Jup/Venus)
I have been stuck in a state of co-dependency with my mother my entire life. During this time I have had to fight obesity and gender dysphoria I am transgender, while I faced these life issues I was too crippled in my own darkness to be out in the outside world, leaving me void of any true 'work experience' beyond my University training. My mother has been a mother since she is 16, and now about to be in her 60s and trying to fight for her own freedom, but I inhibit her from doing so. I have been told that I am holding her down, and ruining her chances of retirement and it greatly wounds me. I am not sure what to, I was an 'accident' through both the pill and the condom (right after my mother just got done raising my sister). Looking at our astrology charts there are a bunch of indicators that we are karmic bonded, but our mutual happiness will only come with our separation it seems.
What can I do to get on my own feet? I am to turn 21 in 2 days, have no transportation (there is public transportation at least, and it's good), no job experience, and have to deal with transgender issues (which my mother has helped me with greatly, but with added stress on both of us). I have been looking around for work but I never seem to generate results, I did just have an interview yesterday, perhaps that will produce a job, I am not sure.
I just feel so...guilty being the thing that is preventing my mother's happiness. As time goes on she is becoming more and more irritable, angry, weary, depressed and being stuck with each other has been negative for both of us, her moods afflicting me as well. I have recently been wishing I was not her third child so I wouldn't have had been extending her motherhood for so long.
I feel I am in a state of helplessness, and I know this is bad because of the power of thought and manifestation, but I am just truly....unsure. It weighs heavy on my mind and if I may be honest, makes me feel horrible as a person and is giving me major headaches.
Captain, if you see anything, hear anything that needs to be messaged to be I ask that you please help me receive this guidance and wisdom. Am I in the wrong? Am I not doing the right things? Have I gone down a wrong path? Everything feels so...aimless.
Bows Thank you.
Zara, I feel your main problem is that you don't know yourself well enough, you don't know what you are capable of or what your abilities are, or what strength and knowledge you have in order to understand where you want to go and how to get there.
I don't remember if I have ever done a personality reading for you. Maybe I can give you some insights that will give you somewhere to start achieving your own solid and individual identity quite apart from your mother or anyone else.
From your bithdate, I can see you are an idealistic and lively person with an egalitarian view of the world. You are usually the first to defend the rights of everyone, and when presenting your opinion, you make sure you are understood by everyone, no matter what their background or level of education. You cannot tolerate pretension or unnecessary complications of any kind, placing a high value on simplicity of language, behaviour and action. Other people always know where they stand with you and they also know that, whatever the circumstances or situation, they will be given a fair hearing and a fair chance to prove themselves. In fact, you place such a high value on egalitarianism and fair play that, when in direct competition with others, you will quite happily take a step back and allow others to race ahead, even if you are well qualified for the job or due for advancement. It is important for you to understand that pushing ahead when your talents merit it does not mean you are becoming pretentious or ego-centered; it simply means that you are placing a value on yourself.
After the age of twenty, you will have an increased need for partnership and relating to others for the next thirty years, and again it is important for you not to undervalue yourself and to realize that equal relationships with others can be indispensable to achieving your high ideals of fairness, honesty, inclusion, and respect. There will also be opportunities during this time for you to develop your creativity; you should take advantage of these to inject some inspiration into your working life. After the age of fifty-one, there will be a turning point when you are more likely to get in touch with your personal power. Whatever your age, the sooner you realize that you don’t need to live to work but work to live, the more fulfilling your life will be, and the greater your chances of discovering your outstanding potential for exerting a beneficial and inspirational influence on others.
Love - You are loyal and loving. Whether you realize it or not, you can either subordinate yourself completely to the needs of those you love or exercise a subtle control in your relationships. Both approaches are a direct contradiction to your egalitarian approach to life however. At times, hidden insecurities may indicate that, instead of being your usual diplomatic self, you can become argumentative and restless; but in general, when you learn to place a value on yourself, you can be the most loyal, loving and supportive partner, friend, co-worker, or child.
Health - Although you are often bursting with vitality and energy (unless you are undervaluing yourself or feeling insecure), you need to make sure you don’t push yourself too hard. You are particularly prone to stress-related digestive disorders, and a healthy, balanced diet along with stress-management techniques - such as making sure you have plenty of time for rest and relaxation or simply laughing more often - will help counteract these problems. You would benefit from learning the basics of good nutrition and cooking, not only because it will ensure you get all the nutrients you need, but also because it will also take your mind off work. Regular daily exercise that is moderate to vigorous is recommended, as are regular weight training or toning sessions (going to a gym or working out at home). Wearing, meditating on and surrounding yourself with the colour green will encourage you to find a better balance between your inner and outer life.
Career - You are a born educator. You are a great team player and enjoy work that has plenty of variety. You may be drawn to a career in media, music, sport, social work, or public relations, or toward banking, the stock market and accountancy. Your analytical skills may suggest a career in education, writing or science, and your egalitarian spirit to a career in health care.
Your life path is to learn to balance your own needs with those of others. Once you have understood that being fair does not have to mean being happy with second best, your destiny is to exert a powerful and positive influence on others.
Power Thought - “I am not the person I was yesterday but a more enlightened being.”
Your greatest challenge is putting yourself first. Your way forward is to understand that, just like everyone else, you have a right to be noticed for your accomplishments. If you want to attract luck, you need to ignore any advice you may have been given about not going overboard and allow yourself to get carried away with passion and excitement for what you want, because this is what encourages others to want to help you.
Zara, if you feel that this learning about yourself is the right way to go, there is more I can tell you if you wish.
2013 for you - After the intense energy and changes of last year, now is a time to slow down and reflect upon your life and your choices. You might feel torn in two directions and some of your old identities are merging with your new ones. Be kind to yourself as you integrate these energies. Your emotions are on high and you might feel oversensitive or take other people's opinions to heart. That is why it is so important to take time and reflect on your needs and personal truth. What is it that YOU (and no one else) want? To find inner balance, you might need to draw more boundaries, say "no" more often, and learn how to receive. Where can you take back some of your energy? Are you giving more than you are receiving? Are there any areas in your life where you feel you deserve more? Explore those areas and find ways to balance your relationships in a reciprocal manner. Your intuition is highly charged now. To access this gift, you need to listen to your inner voice above all others. Perhaps you want to take up yoga or meditation, and spend more time in nature. Use this beautiful time to know yourself better and have the courage to take care of yourself! Since 2013 will attract all kinds of relationships to you, this can be a wonderful time to meet someone who helps you feel good about yourself, romantic or otherwise. But remember, finding loving relationships begins with honoring and loving yourself first!
Thank you Captain, but what can I do to make things better with my mother? She is so upset and so unhappy with her life. We both feel trapped.
I have put a lot of study into the natal chart, and all you said is true, but I don't see how to use it to get myself a job and be free. I guess I am just trying to what is going to happen within the next few months, energetic impressions on the more detailed level instead of dealing with the thematic.
You can make your mother happy by depending on her less and doing more for yourself - getting a job and somewhere to live will stop her worrying about how you will manage when she is gone. When you have a life of your own, you can wean yourself away from and be separate from your mother and her identity.
When you know about yourself, you will know what truly makes you happy and how to achieve it.
Yes, I very much agree, she would be much happier when this happens.
I guess what I am asking is, are their any directions you would suggest in me looking for a job? I have been applying in all the places I think I can work out (not at places that require training in things like forklifts or the like)
Are there any 'impressions' or feelings that might say some types of jobs might generate more success or a impression if I am doing the right things to get a job or not?
I truly do understand I sell myself short because of my views of equality, and I do it a lot with my mother. But now I am truly seeking practical advice from intuitive sources who may guide me in this aspect of my life because the purely 'practical' is what I lack.
What is the universe saying (or respectfully, what sources you use to feel or communicate) about this aspect of my life and how to be successful in the job hunt?
Well, what did you feel about the types of jobs I suggested in your reading? And do you want a job or a career - because you cannot have the last without a lot of study or training involved.
I would LOVE to do social work, and somehow be involved in music. But honestly right now I need a JOB just so I can earn income so that one day I may have a CAREER! I am sorry I was not clear!
To be blunt, I just need cash. X_X I cannot get off my feet, grow or even further educate myself without it.
Is there any job in your area that you would really like?
And have you considered working from home, like selling things on eBay or start your own home-based business. If you have your own computer... Most home based business's cost under $500 to start. Maybe you could sell Avon or Tupperware or clothing etc. door-to-door or by having parties at your home. If you are a good typist, you could do typing for students. Maybe you can do odd jobs for your neighbours or ask for a fee to do their shopping or pick up their dry-cleaning etc when they are too busy. Many people these days are time-poor and parents have to work two jobs so they don't have time to do many chores and shopping. Elderly people would appreciate someone doing their shopping and chores for them, I'm sure.
The first rule in doing so is NEVER pay for employment (or even worse yet - just to submit your application). Number two is if it sounds too good to be true, it is, so move on to something that sounds reasonable.
Some helpful sites are -
There are a few places I'd love to work at, I have already applied to them however.
Are any of these suggestions something you feel that I would have some greater success in? Or are these suggestions you just know from a very pragmatic perspective?
I will look into these either way however! I'd just like to make sure I could use any positive energy to my advantage in getting myself off my feet if I can.
Today is my solar return at 1:00pm pst!
Go after those places at which you would love to work - keep in touch with them to show your commitment and enthusiasm for working there. Often a person's passion for a job alone has swayed the employer in their favour. Keep applying until you get something - anything - there.
Tell me, how do you think you come across at an interview - do you believe in yourself and communicate it to others?
I will, thanks Captain!
Well I hope to come across as kind, polite, young and vibrant, enthusiastic, and seem like someone who is really determined and will go out of her way to make sure something is done right. If I have confidence in my social skills, I love to communicate and it's in my nature to do so.
That's how you HOPE to come across but what is the reality? Try asking the interviewer afterwards how you came across or asking a friend to mock interview you and give their impressions. Because I feel there is something you need to know about your interview technique.
Hmmm, it can never hurt to ask! Will do, thank you Captain!
If I may ask for you insight on another, much smaller issue...I keep seeing the number '11' everywhere. And this has been happening for about 3 months or so, would you know if there is any meaning behind this?
11 stands for illumination. it means you should be on the lookout for signs and information that the angels and your guides are sending you.
What are some ways I may see these hints?
By being aware of what is going on around you - watch for things that seem unusual or not part of your normal routine. Songs on the radio or seeing repeated numbers is often how they will try to contact you.
Hmmm, well this 11 follows me everywhere!
Things seem to be picking up all the sudden, energy feels more clear!
I'll try to keep my eyes open.
Thank you very much for all the help Captain!