Is he stringing me along or waiting...

  • Hey y'all.

    Back with a new guy question.

    There's a guy I'm totally enamored with who keeps saying he can't wait to meet me/attempts making plans with me, but when I give him my availability, he never firms up plans. I know I deserve better than this, but I want to see if I can get a reading on what might be going on. Like if he's busy (we're both busy people) or he's you know, getting busy with someone else and maybe stringing me along for attention or maybe if he wants more attention from me. When I read my cards, I get confusing sometimes I'll get temperance/two of cups and something else which makes me think to stay patient, but then I get three of swords and stuff...which could mean heart break or I guess, you know third person.

    I'd prefer a tarot reading, or if awesome Captain reads this, I trust your psychic readings (PS the last one you told me to be more discerning with guys...I keep that in my back pocket at ALL TIMES). His birthday is also 8/29/1975. Mine is 1/21/80

    Anyway, thanks for any help!

  • I can sum up this guy in one word - money. He craves it, chases it, will do anything for it, and is always working on ways and schemes to acquire it. He is desperate to strike it rich. It is his only real love and passion. When it comes to choosing between his personal and professional lives, he will always devote his time and attention to his work, hence him saying he wants to meet but then he sees a chance to advance himself at work or make a buck (could be a big gambler too) and he takes it. His love partner would always come a very poor second to his love of money. If he could spare the time, he would happily engage with you in a love affair but marriage would be a commitment and devotion for which he just couldn't spare the time off from money-making. You would have to be prepared to give this guy a heckuva lot of freedom and latitude for an affair to work here. Marriage or a long-term relaitonship - unless you were prepared for it to be very spasmodic - wouldn't cut it.

    I also drew one of my newly created advice cards for you.

    Your card was The Card of Depression, Desperation and Despair.

    This situation will lead to or may already have produced feelings of depression, desperation or despair. There is pessimism and gloom, no light at the end of the dark tunnel. You feel desperate, and despair of ever being happy again. You must move on from this experience - as painful as it may be to let it go, it will be even more painful to stay with it. Traditional routes of therapy and even medication can be effective short term solutions and should definitely be considered if depression or pain is disrupting your life. But painful feelings can only be released when they are faced, not ignored or pushed away. Brooding over a situation does not help improve it. Depression robs you of the ability to enjoy life. The only way out is through. People create suffering through the beliefs in their mind. What might you have misconstrued or imagined wrongly in this situation? Whatever you get yourself into, you can also get yourself out of through facing reality. When something is really not working, you have to move on. Don't let fear or desperation drive you into making mistakes. Your emotions are not in charge of you; you are in charge of your emotions. You are the one who decides how you feel. Avoid ending up depressed or upset or left alone by making better decisions in all areas of your life. Don’t make important choices from emotion, but by trusting your gut instincts, your intuition. Don't make impulsive decisions about other people - get to know them well and be objective Believe you deserve the best. Being positive is vital to breaking out of emotional ruts. Become aware of those times you dwell on the negatives in your life – both real or imagined – and stop them. It takes work and persistence but if you constantly tell yourself to ‘stop it’ when you start to brood over what you don’t have, then you are building a positive habit that will change your life for the better.

  • Thanks Captain!

    He's most certainly caused me stress last week, but I'm in a good head about it now. I know I don't want someone who keeps me on a shelf. Also, not sure he's really a chasing money guy. He works in theatre (where there isn't any lol), but workaholic, yes. He has other arts involvement, so maybe it can be interchangeable with that.

    Again, thank you for taking the time out so much!

  • BL, the fact that you don't know what this fellow gets up to when he's not talking to you or whether he has someone else in his life shows that you fell for him without knowing him very well. It suggests you are looking for someone to love you more than you are interested in the person himself. That way will not bring the right partner into your life, only 'warm bodies' to make you feel better about yourself.

  • Captain,

    I want to thank you again. I just wrote another post about him and then while waiting for a response for that went back into this and saw not only your last note, but what you wrote before it. When you wrote the five of pentacles (i'm assuming that's what you got). I thought naw, because I was in check with being more casual with him, but it is now January and it has more often than not ebbed into that. With whenever I walk away from him, he finds a way to pull me back. Which I rolled my eyes to, until he started to pull me in really close...all without seeing me...all while living ten minutes away. I tried to cut it off on Saturday telling him this kind of situation doesn't work for me, but he meant something to me and that I even fell in love with him...but really, who have I fallen in love with? Anyway, instead of taking the high road, he immediately was like I loved what you wrote, I miss you and want to see you. So I thought, maybe he's been feeling the same way, but because he'd been cheated on was scared etc. We still haven't made plans. I just wanted to write to you to say how spot on you were...or would be not shortly after this post.

  • BL, this can work out as a love affair but it is much harder to achieve a long-term commitment. The two of you will both appreciate the other's thinking, and many ideas and observations will be shared. Your friend can find the freedom and lack of convention he desires within this relationship. Feelings can be expressed openly without censure here. However you may have a hard time competing with his professional priorities and may come to feel he uses his work as an excuse to avoid intimacy. But he is not afraid of intimacy, just unsure of how to cope with it. If you can gently encourage him to open up without fear of rejection, he may just turn out to be a charming, enthusiastic, and communicative lover. You yourself BL must learn to distinguish between your fear and your intuition when it comes to love and life. Intuition is a lot quieter than fear; you can just know something without a lot of words to explain it. Yet your warmth and charm can be very appealing to others. You do not like to be tied down and like to experiment and explore within relationships. This does not mean you are incapable of settling down; it just means you need a partner who reassures you and understands your need for adventure and variety. Thus, this relationship will not function well if it is confined to traditional or standard social, romantic, or career attitudes and settings. You both demand more from life than just the ordinary. Marriage may in fact be considered unnecessary or inappropriate between you.

  • And no it was not the Five of Pentacles I drew for you. That card is from the non-traditional pack I designed myself. I don't use any symbolism like the Tarot.

  • 1. Thank you for the thoughts up there, I wasn't expecting it!

    2. I think it's great that you designed a non-traditional pack. The tarot is so complicated. The amount of readings I try to do for myself...which in and of itself is bad...and with so much surface knowledge....disastrous. Though for the last little bit, it looks like its reading that a third party is surrounding us...not sure though.

    You're right on all accounts. While he's been in my life, I've felt so many different things, but do need reassurance from him at this point, so I don't know.. I have tried to nudge him gently. In my letter I mentioned the cheating thing, how he didn't tell me the story, only gave me a vague comment, but I know when that happens it's hard to deal with distance and hard to deal with closeness too....but maybe I've not been clear enough still. I'm just never sure what he needs from me or whether he does want to hear from me, or I should wait to hear back from him. Especially now (i guess this is where intuition comes in). I feel much more relaxed when I step back. I know I should be keeping my mind on what's good in life rather than lack, so I can create more abundance.

    Either way, you rock!

  • PS I'm interested. When you make your own deck. What do you do after? Do you bless them? Do you do any sort of specific ritual?

  • I feel the deck was created with the help of my guides and spirit so they are already blessed.

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