Hello sadsag if you are out there,
Sri I dropped that one thread we were exchanging, my computer I have to use is not the best so I am not on here much anymore. Anyway, I hope all is well maybe some good things for you and your guy happening. I don't have any cards for you, however it sounded to me like you were doing okay so maybe the cards helped.
Nice to hear from you. I hope you have been well other than your computer issues. Funny how important they have become and how life changes when they are not functioning. I spend so much time on mine that it makes me crazy if something happens to it. I think they call that addiction
Things are over, as far as i am concerned, with L. We have been seeing each other again for the last couple of months, but it ended again about a week and a half ago. He just can't do it. he just does not have the ego strength to address his fears. He would rather be alone than deal. So at least now i know that he is making the choice to not face his fears. He knows he is afraid and that his inner child is wounded. He told me he was broken. He appears to believe that there is no way to change that. I think he thinks it will happen magically, that when the perfect woman comes along he will love her so much there will be no fear. I know that he loves me but he thinks because he feels this fear he must not love me enough. I think if he didn't love me, there were be no fear. So clearly we see this situation differently. He is very stuck. The sad thing is that it hurts both of us.
He says he is not ready, and may never be ready, to give up his lifestyle. So he is off again on the Harley with the boys. That reality is changing though. His boys are all in relationships and the last 2 single ones are now engaged. He is the only single one when they ride and he resents that since riding is supposed to be "the boys". Still he chooses to be alone rather than work on his relationship issues. So be it.
That leaves me on my own again. Oh well. At least this time I do understand what is going on. I know that he knows the choice he is making. My questions about how much of his behavior he really understand have been answered. So I am not feeling so distressed about it as I did the last 2 times we split. I expect that at some time I will hear from him again. We left things kind of open but right now he is running away from his feelings. When the fear starts to subside and he gets lonely this fall, when the rains come, he will contact me again. At that point I will either not respond, or tell him to take a hike, or we may agree to have a platonic relationship. We really do enjoy each other's company. We have tons of fun together so maybe we can make that work, but probably not...
Now the summer is over. I have to go back to work next week While I don't really want to start getting up early and going to work every day, I am ready to have some structure in my days again. I have had a lot of down time this summer, a lot of alone time, and so for the first time ever i am ready to go back to work. That is a real change for me. I usually dread going back to work. I am sure once i get there, I'll complain and count the days until my first break
I do appreciate all of the readings that you did for me and your patience with my love angst. it really helped. Someday, when you get your computer issues resolved, you can do another reading. Who knows where life is going to go from here? i sure don't, i'm just winging it!
It is going to be hot over your way today. I hope you can find a way to stay cool.
Love and light, sadsag
I just read your reading for Brokenhearted. You referenced noon or midnight after each card. I have never seen that before. What is that all about? Just curious.
Nice to hear from you and okay on everything, I can detect a sigh of relief in a way, from you as regards L. The fear issues that he faces must be some sort of phase in his life designed to send him into some isolation for a while, to connect with his higher self, purpose or something. That seems to be where the universe is taking him so even his harley riding could be more alone in order to search his own heart.
I really feel for the guys. We really don't receive a lot of formal training in relationships and love growing up, unless you were fortunate enough to grow up in a very loving, stable, emotionally reciprocating family life. Who has that! The guys get the pop guns, and the toy tanks. And then we are expected to "figure love out" when it comes along. It can be difficult as you are experiencing with your guy.
I guess it all works out though. I do think he really loves you sadsag. This could be a great time for him to be apart more and discover who He is. I think he has some challenges voicing his needs? It sounds like he is trying though, as he admits he is "broken". Which I think is pretty normal these days. I feel rather broken myself, some days so confused. Why is life so hard to figure out? Why are relationships challenges instead of cheers and happiness? It is all a mystery for me, so I just look at cards. In hopes to learn something helpful that benefits others I hope one day.
OKay on going back to the school job. I would love to go back to work myself however I am still trying to get my head on in terms of "what I want to be when I grow up". I am rather mystified about all that... I feel like I am still in high school, trying to determine, "What in the world am I supposed to do with my life for a career?" It is weird.
So, let's look at some cards for you, "where life is going to go from here?"
I need to take a break and get off this computer (it is a shared setup) and I will come right back with a look at that question.
Oh, the "noon" and midnight and that is something I have been trying in the readings. I have been using this new deck (actually had it for a while and never really used it a lot til now). The cards are square, so they can lay down in one of four orientations, up, down, left, right. And that supposedly can show more about the card. Which is funny because I never really cared about dealing with reversals... seemed to complicate readings.. and now I have FOUR positions to look at haha..
I would love to keep looking at cards for you.,
Okay sadsag, I just looked at some cards for you and I thought it all looks exciting!
I can see the aftermath of the recent ending (maybe temporary) with you and L.
The cards are:
Situation or question: The Seven (7) of Cups, m.c. (noon).
Crossing or companion card: The Empress, i.c. (night)
Crowns (your aim or ideal in the question): The 2 of Swords, dsc, (dusk)
Beneath (Shows the foundation or basis of the question, what has passed into actuality and which you have made your own) The 10 of Wands (dusk)
Behind (Shows an influence that has just passed or is now passing away) The Queen of Swords, ( asc, dawn).
Before (This is an influence now coming into action and will operate in the near future) The Emperor (dusk)
The self (shows your attitude in the question) The Lovers (dawn)
House (shows your environment or influences around you that tend to have an effect on the matter, influence of friends, work setting things like that). The Chariot (dawn).
Hopes or fears in the question: 3 of Cups, dusk.
Outcome (What will come, the final result, the culmination of the other cards): The 9 of Pentacles (dusk).
Okay. The references to dawn, noon, dusk and night are borrowed from the "angles" in astrology. This deck (the mandala tarot) explains these as various angels/ directions the card is being expressed as. MC= higher self, your brightest self, ASC= your "acting" self for the world, the IC is the subconscious or something you are not aware of, and the DSC represents your outer world experience, the results of life in general. Which in turn will prompt you to "react"
So the MC and IC work together, conscious, subconscious, noon, night; And the ASC and DSC work together to help you properly act out your true self in accord with what the results are in life. I think it paints a helpful picture or our four "faces" of ourselves, up, down, act, reaction from world.
So... that is some background.
The question "where life is going to go from here?" is summed up as the 7 of Cups and the Empress. That seems to show that you are really dreaming of your emotional options in life. And the Empress is a more subconscious guiding inflluence now for you. Sort of like, you are checking your dream against a desire to fulfill a nurturing role pattern, deep down. So the Empress is a very important energy for you and shows your life is heading toward a more "nurturing" emotional path. The other cards should clarify in what way.
Above, your aim now in life, is the 2 of Swords, and that is coming toward you from your outward life experience. That is an agreement, I think It shows an aim for a companion/world experience who knows how to communicate! So you are looking at the world for this agreeable response from life that says, "I/we agree with you", there is balance and concord intellectually.
Beneath shows something you have made your own, and is the foundation of the question, and that is the 10 of Wands, also dusk, sunset, dsc. So... you have already "owned" path crossroad experiences as coming toward you from the world. That would say something like the way the world/partners are acting tends to result in path crossroads - one path concludes and a new one begins (9+1). So, that is significant as I think you want stable paths that are very dependable, emotionally (as this card is near the 7 cups) and also is beside the Empress in my layout. Where is my life going now that I have "owned" path crossroad type experiences, seems to be the sense here.
The past, behind you, "an influence that has just passed or is now passing away" is the Queen of Swords, asc, dawn. So, you recently have "acted out" a mature, intellectually cool, pattern in some way. You may have expressed a viewpoint that was very stable in response to something/someone in your world.
Ahead, before you, is the Emperor (dsc, dusk). This shows a "result" in the world of your life, that is a viewpoint. So you are heading into a world's viewpoint about something, that could come from a person, or anywhere. You will know it when it arrives because it will be "them" expressing a very determined, set, viewpoint, apparently related to emotions, as the 7 cups precedes it, and it could be a relationship as the Empress is below this card. So that is coming up for you next.
The Self card shows your view in this question and that is the Lovers, dawn. That is a "face" you are wearing in response to something about how your world acts toward you. "Trials overcome" is how Waite expressed it, that sounds good to me. So, you are wearing a "trials are behind me" as the position of your mind toward your future. This one is touch to read. I keep wanting to see this as you thinking of a lover while all of this is being read.
House, your influences around you, is the Chariot, dawn. So that shows something about your life prompting a chariot response, movement, motion, and could be you going back to work at school. Chariot is cheth, which means field, and I sometimes think your "field" as in career.
Hopes are the 3 of Cups, sunset. So that is your unfading hope, the celebration of love, of being in a place where love and feelings are growing. This is showing in the world around you, so it carries the sense that you are looking and watching for this 3 cups experience in the outer life around you. So you are hoping that "where life goes from here" is to discover or see a growing emotionally happy setting develop!
Outcome is the 9 of Pentacles, also dsc or dusk/sunset. So that sums up where you are heading as a result of these other cards. That is a very fulfilled physical/financial/career pattern that completes or is totally fulfilling in some way. This must be career as it is in the "career" angle, dsc.
I think the Queen/2 swords at left are picking up the recent episdes with L. They are dsc+asc which is a dialogue. Leaving you still emotionally searching (7 cups). The whole thing with L has set in place a better understanding of what you really want in a relationship, communication is key. The lovers is also a very "chatty" card (zain, sword), and that shows your attitude is still, communication must work. So I think in general your life is heading toward better communication patterns with the world you experience. Chariot above the lovers seems to be accelerating that too.
The Emperor ahead is indicating that you seem to avail yourself of advice or a view in some way. The outcome is the 9 pentacles conclusion. Emperor carries an Ace pentacle. I think you are moving toward a new material pattern of some sort. A new job, home, and it must have strong communication aspects (Q, 2S, Lovers) all tied into your emotional life. The 10 of Wands beneath you shows you are have known how to conclude paths and begin new ones.
Looking at a chart of these cards (I make a grid and plot them out to see trends and conjunctions as in astrology) and this shows that the "beneath" card (the 10 of Wands) is a conjunction of swords, cups and pentacles, around sunrise (9 am to be exact). So there is something about that as a foundation for you. Of these, the pentacles is pointing toward improvements, that is heading upward, and the emotions and thinking are trending toward midnight. So it looks to me like your life is making a significant shift away from so much emotional angst of relationship, and more toward a solid physical/financial pattern. The cups began the reading - the career or money ends it. You began with emotional daydreams, you end with a nice home in the country. Your path makes a big U-turn also, moving back into the daylight and concludes with a 4 wands in the chariot (house).
I would say that your work takes on more focus now, and the relationship issues are behind you. Now it is time to start making plans for your OWN Harley.
You have nice things in the works for your life sadsag! That 3 cups hope is very nice, you are totally on the right track....
Best wishes sadsag, we did get some hotter weather. I am not sure I want to see another winter here with snow! Maybe a move for me too one of these days...
Thanks for the reading. My own Harley! Not too likely. I couldn't even hold one up. I am not big enough. And riding by myself is not all that appealing. I like sitting int he back enjoying the scenery. But some things in the reading did ring true. I think life is moving in a new and more positive direction now. While L has not done any work on his inner child, i have done tons and tons and this experience with him has given me much to work on. it has been good though. it has been a grounding and empowering experience.
I do hope that the relationship angst is behind me. L does not seem to be but perhaps the angst over it it. After 2 weeks of not hearing from him he started texting me again. Just casual stuff, as if there was no distance or separation between us. Based on our emails around the break up, it seems that he wants to just try and keep this as a friendly, platonic relationships. Now he did not say that specifically and when I asked he ignored my questions but is is all I could get from the things he said. We'll see how that goes.
I have given it a lot of thought. He says he is not ready to give up his lifestyle. At first I interpreted that at face value, his bike, his buddies etc. But really i don't think that is it. What he is not ready to do is give up the safety of being alone. As long as he is alone, he cannot be left (abandoned) It is safe to just live by himself in his little world and not let anyone else too far into it. That way he can't be hurt. It all comes back to his fears of abandonment. he has likely always had them but then they were reinforced when his wife left him. So now as soon as he gets close to me, close enough that he might be hurt if I leave, he runs. He pushes me away so I can't do that to him. Then he is not happy so he comes back and we go though it again. I think he believes that he cannot ever let anyone that close again, he is too afraid, and yet he cannot let go of me either. So, if I do go away, if I decide never to see him again, then I have proven him right. Everyone abandons him because deep down he is not lovable. Then he is wounded yet again and his fears are reinforced again. What a terrible trap he is in. So, for now, i will just communicate causally with him.
And yes, as we have discussed many times, communication is key. Slowly, over time, he opens up a bit more. Tells me a bit more about this feelings, but then he gets scared and runs away again. That is so frustrating for me since I am a good communicator. I just want to talk it all out, analyse him and tell him what he needs to do to fix it. somehow I don't think that would be well received though So I am going to stop stressing over it. i will answer his texts and be friendly so he feels like I am still in his life. But I doubt that I will engage much more than that. Famous last words, right?
I don't know if work will take more focus now though. Perhaps. It is hard to say but that idea does not interest me much really. Something will come along to take up my time and energy though. I am going to do costumes for a play in April and while that seems like a long way off, there will be lots to do to prepare. Then the last month after the show is cast it will be crazy busy sewing and gathering all of the costumes. That is looking like my focus now. It is stressful but it is something I enjoy doing. I love being around the theater 'kids' (they are not really kids now, mostly in late 20s) they have such great energy.
I agree with you about men in our culture. At least in our generation. Men were not taught to even think about their feelings, and certainly not o talk about them. Being the mother of 2 sons, I hope to change that thinking. I taught me boys to talk and feel. It is important. Even so, men just see the world differently than women do. I guess that is not likely to change any time too soon. We are just programmed for different functions, even if those functions are no longer serving us well in today's society.
Your new cards sound interesting. I have never seen any like that. I don't like reversals either so having 4 directions might be a bit overwhelming for me. Still it is one more piece of information.
Being back to work is good. I have not adjusted to getting up early yet. I can understand how you could be tired of not working. The summer is long enough to be off for me. then I need a bit more focus and structure. I just wish I could have that focus and structure from say 10 til 2 or some nice hours like that
Thanks again for the reading. It is all good, heading in a positive and as of yet, unknown, direction. I guess we all just have to wait and see what lessons the Universe has in store for us.
Enjoy the sunny weekend.
All of that sounds good, you seem to be in a very good place right now in general, prob with school back in session your concerns are more there than with L. I think all that you have pointed out about him, rings true. And I can see how someone (men especially) are reluctant to get into something new until they know they can really TRUST again. That seems to be the crux of so many of these "why is he running from me" concerns of the women. One bad experience can take a long time to process out and arrive at a place where they are ready to try again. It is a real work that has to take place within, as it requires coming to terms with an "ex" so that they are appreciated and understood as being an important and very needed part of the man's emotional development.
If a person has some immature or distorted concept of love, and relationship, the best person to marry is probably someone who is going to force that view / belief out into the open to be discarded or changed. "Ex's" tend to really get the hammer by the other, and the finger is pointed at them as the source of all of their woes. However they were the perfect person to bring them to a more mature love understanding.
L could still be in that process, and how close he gets to you (or anyone else) has a lot to do with how much he realizes how essential the previous partner was. So, if a guy sees the ex as the villain, then he can't help but wonder if the next one will simply end up being the same villain again! So his path could still be very connected to his ex, and arriving at a peaceful place in his heart toward her. It is a process that can take some time, so about all one can do is wait and hope they "get there" and when they finally work through it all, they will then be ready to open up and enter into something new again.
One hopes this is not some perpetual pattern with us all, and all of the relationships eventually end. I think any relationship can work out as long as two can communicate. That seems to be the heart of most of the problems. The communication patterns are broken and in that case there is no hope as far as I can see.
My 2 cents, I am certainly not a relationship expert, they seem to be tricky things. Some days I really think it much better to stay alone and love a cat or dog or a fish in an aquarium rather than a person. I am not a pet person so I end up loving an angel. She and I get along GREAT! I also don't have to clean up her hair balls from the carpet haha.
I have my cats, and yes that does mean hairballs but they are so cuddly. It is nice to have a warm body next to me at night even if that warm body only weighs 6 pounds and is covered with fur
As for L. Well, it could be stuff with his ex but I think it predates her. i think he has had this issue since childhood. For sure it is immature ideas about love. I think his feelings of security and self image were damaged or at least stunted at a young age. From the things he has shared about his marriage, and the way he says them, I get the impression that he had to fight his fears in order to marry his ex. I think he really loved her and so he gave it a good effort. Then at some point in the marriage the fears stated kicking in again and he started distancing himself. He may not even know he did that but looking at things he did and why they split it is my guess. he said she got bored with him and left but I think she got fed up with being shut out. So now, it will be even harder to face those fears. He thinks that because he has the fear he must not love me enough or he would be able to overcome it. I think that if he did not love me he would not have any fear. What would he have to fear then? It is because he loves me that he fears being hurt again. he thinks someone will come along and he will be so in love there will be no fear. I think he is fooling himself. Clearly we disagree on this topic. I believe , but then I could be wrong, that he is well over his ex. He seems to be comfortable around her and only says good things about her. he does not appear to be angry with her. He could have some anger deep down but really i think he blames himself more than her for the split. I think his basic belief is that he is not lovable and anyone he lets get close will see that and leave. In his mind that is what happened with her. He did agree, when I told him that is what I thought, that I was right. He is not lovable and he wondered how I knew that... duh! I do know that he really tried to make it work with me. he told me that and it was clear from his behavior last fall. He finally told me out loud that he loved me and his approach to our relationship shifted to a much closer place. That only lasted about 5 weeks and then he panicked a ran. It was just too hard for him. Such a sad way to go through life, never being able to really express your feelings or trust other people's.
Work does have my attention right now. My horoscope is all about how great work is supposed to be and how I will be recognized for my talents. Well the jury is still out on that one. We got a new boss over the summer. The old one did recognize my talents but this new one is a new animal all together. She appears to be a micro-manager who does not trust her staff to be competent professionals. That is going to rub quite a few of us the wrong way. I am going to try to keep my head low. She has already done a few things that I find very insulting and unprofessional. I fear there is more to come. I may be looking for a new job by the end of this school year. i hope not, that would not be my first choice so we will just have to see how it goes. Wednesday will be our first meeting with her and i am not expecting a fun or happy meeting. Hopefully I will be pleasantly surprised. L told me that I am the most optimistic person he knows but right now I am not feeling very optimistic It could be an interesting year. How are things in the job market over there? They seem to be getting better here. I see more help wanted signs at any rate.
Did you guys get the big stormy weather that we got last week. It was really something. Really intense rain that we don't usually get here. More like east coast rain. Pretty exciting but it sure made a mess of the traffic. Now summer has returned and it is hot and sunny. Aside from a few stormy days, this has been the best summer weather that I can remember in my 32 years here. I am heading out into it to enjoy it while it lasts.
Hope you had a good weekend.
I have been reading a little on Jung the psychologist and the physicist Pauli, and they collaborated on working through a concept of reality that connected the psyche of a person with their experience of their outer reality. I seem to be following that same path out I am very interested in understanding how our inner world is shaping our outer experience.
I am pretty certain that is what is going on between you and L. He may really want something with you, however there is a subconscious reason that he is manipulating his reality to make sure it doesn't manifest (at this time anyway). There can be a lot of reasons for that. I am not sure it is "fear" so much as a desire to arrive at a self-referencing reality construct that is consistent and reliable. Until he formulates that subconsciously, his outer world experience is going to be limited, and since you are a part of his universe, you are sharing in his reality of "nothing happening in the relationship".
That is my theory. It is what is going on with me. Men are much more :"under the gun:" to figure that stuff out, as we are not in touch with our female side much at all until our next phase of life. So, L is probably making that transition and will eventually break through it I am sure. Jung worked a lot with Pauli to help him connect with his female anima, and after that happened, Pauli's life became much better experientially.
These "phase 2" type relationships are a lot different than phase one, because now we have a whole backlog of memories to process out. ANd that can take some time to come to terms with answering questions about the ex, why she did this, why he did that, why why why. Until you finally come up with the simple answer "they acted that way because that was what you wanted" we are stumbling around. So L is coming to realize that the ex and all of the experiences (memories) associated with her were precisely what L wanted. She was there to help him become a whole person by experiencing pain. His distancing himself in the relationship and the way she reacted was again, exactly what he wanted.
Once he takes ownership 100% of his experience, THEN he can enter into something nice with you because he won't be in fear with you leaving him after he trusts you totally. The day he can say to himself, "I will trust sadsag and have a real relationship with her, regardless of what happens" then he will be free to move forward with you. If he is waiting to decide that the relationship with you is a guaranteed thing, then he will never move ahead with you.
My thoughts at this point anyway.
How much do you believe that he is "the one" for you? Is that your concept of relat
Oh on the job thing, I see a lot of listings for designers and such, however I am not interested at this point in jumping back into that racket. I may at some point go back to an agency however for now I am busy enough with painting and tarot and writing, so I have a job. .
Yes we had some wild weather too! Thunder and lightning it was something. Always reminds me of Georgia where I grew up, we had thunderstorms often, they don't happen that much here in Spokane.
I knew you were in Ga. I grew up in Va and miss the thunder and lightning storms. I like the energy of them. The rain we get here is so passive. The heavy rain really messes up the traffic here. The roads here are so limited by the geography that there are limited options if a heavily used route gets busy. When it rains like that people either drive so slow they hold everyone up or they drive too fast and cause an accident, again holding everyone up. Then everyone else tries to get out of it by going on the surface streets that cannot handle the amount of traffic. So it is all just a big mess. My typical 30minute drive took 1.5 hours one of those rainy days last week. Ugh!
I like Jung too. My counselor and I have looked at this from a Jungian perspective a lot. I am quite sure that what L is doing is subconscious. He knows he is not allowing it to happen, he just does not understand why. I do believe that he wants it to happen but just can’t get there. I am not as optimistic as you that he will someday. He appears to be very stuck in this pattern and I don’t see him doing anything to get himself unstuck. I agree that everything happened in his marriage just the way he wanted it too, he just does not see that. He thinks it happened to him because of some deep flaw inside of him. He has not owned it or used the pain to grow and become whole. He is waiting for some magical fix that requires no work on his part. Not too likely…
Do I think he is the one? Perhaps, perhaps not. I am not sure I believe in “the one” as in the one and only. I do believe that L and I are connected, that we were brought together for a reason and that we have not resolved whatever that was. I believe we were connected in another life somewhere along the way, perhaps several times. The soul recognition was so immediate. My counselor thinks it is really interesting and unusual that my inner child communicates with his. Her theory is that we might have been twins at some point. My inner child talks about his and worries about him and misses him. It is kind of weird. I have never had that before. She has always been all about herself but not where he is concerned. So I have been doing some inner child work to heal his inner child. I hope, even if I never know about it, that it gives him some peace and helps him release some of his fear. Of course at this point I don’t know when or if I see him again. It has been a month since we parted company last time and 2 weeks since we have had any contact. His magical new woman could enter his life at any moment and then I would never hear from him again.
I agree, phase 2 relationships are very different. Anyone who thinks they do not have baggage or not carrying past experiences with them is in denial. We are a product of our experiences, whether in this life or a past one, and react unconsciously most of the time. It makes it all so very much more difficult than relationships that start earlier in life. But here we are and there is nothing that can change that. We just have to do the best we can and try to be as aware as possible.
Back to work for me now. Lots to do here and my lunch break is over.
I see you have been on here today. Are you getting any of this wind and rain that we are getting. It has been a bit crazy here and is only going to get worse, or so they are saying. A day off work due to power outages would not be unwelcome I am always good with an unexpected day off work, as long as it is not something too serious.
I think it is time for another reading, if you are up for it. No hurry, whenever you get to it. It can include L or not. He has been texting me. No suggestion that we get together, just keeping in touch I think. Just not letting the connection go. I no longer think his contact means anything in terms of us having a relationship, but I do find it curious. Why can't he just let go? Like i have said before, the connection between us is strong for some odd reason. Some unfinished past life stuff perhaps.
Anyway, a new reading would be good. With all of this wind there is a lot of energy moving around. Wind brings change, just like Mary Poppins So what forces are at work here? new relationship? New job? Lottery win? That would be nice
Hope all is well with you on your side of the mountains. They are saying it is going to snow up there tonight so winter is here. brrrr
blessings to you
Yes, I just got from a walk and it was very windy, my ears got cold!
So, change of seasons for sure. I imagine you folks on that side can really get the wind maybe more than we do. I am trying to keep a positive attitude about winter approaching, emphasis on the word "trying".
Sure thing here is a reading for you.
Your significator chosen turned out to be the 7 of Pentacles, so your general "nature" right now seems to be sort of relaxed and just quietly wondering about life.
1/2) 6 of Wands and the 7 of Cups. I think you have high hopes about something. The 6 wands is very nice, developed paths and the 7 cups is all dreamy and imagination. So along with the 7P we already saw we are getting off on a rather strong "what if" feeling in the reading. and the 6W does seem to show some great expectations of successful paths, ventures, settings.
3/4) 9 of Pentacles (aim) and the Hanged Man (beneath, foundation). So your aim right now seems to be a conclusion of something physically. You are "aiming" for a successful completion, end or attainment of your physical life. That could be anything, I do think it is emotionally connected too, with the 7C crossing you.
Your foundation is the Hanged Man, which is what you have already attained. That says you are "owning" reflectiveness, in a very accepting sort of way. This says that you have made reflecting on your life situations a part of your base, foundation, what you are building on which I think is excellent. It shows some real solid willingness to take time to ponder and take your time with situations as they arise.
5/6) Recent past is Justice, and ahead is the Page of Wands. So, there is "change" in your recent history related to Justice, which is balancing out matters, adding and subtracting. Justice is another card like the Hanged Man of sifting and sorting something out. Maybe this relates to L and your ongoing effort to figure this man out.
Ahead is the Page of Wands. So that is what is approaching you, a new step in some way that is communicative of path, or a step in a new path. Somehow you are wanting to next step forward, risk, be innocent and optimistic about a matter and it sets in motion a new path for you in some area. Must be a completion of the physical matter (9P) you are aiming for. With a history of justice it sounds like wanting to close out a justice matter, related to aims for endings of physical something or other. (With L in mind it almost sounds like you have done your fair share of pondering this matter, and his style of relationship(?), and you want to "end" the physical thing with him. Now you are either wanting to start new with him without the physical part seems be what I am getting at the moment.
7/8) 7 relates to quieter observations, sort of your attitude about this matter. That is the Hermit. While your outer world is influencing you with something of a completed or ended emotional matter, the King of Cups. I think the KING could be L, or what "L" represents to you which is an emotional "concluded" something. Kings can be "releasing" in their suit, so in cups it is a King who is releasing his hold on emotions, sort of an "exhausted" emotional influence perhaps. You could be reacting to this with a desire to head in the opposite direction it seems, with the Hermit. Your general attitude seems to be "I am better to remain alone at this time". ? What do you think?
9/10) The conclusion of the reading (9=conclusion) is the 4 of Cups. That is a "go nowhere" emotional card, it is stable, secure and NOT wanting to do anything to upset that stability. (I am getting pretty strong right now that deep down you are NOT wanting to reciprocate to L, as that could upset your hard-earned emotional stability in yourself? Although that page of wands does show a desire to step ahead in a PATH in some way. )
The 10 card is what I have been calling the Circle of Life card, as "10" relates to the Wheel card. So turns, where is the circle now turning, that sort of thing... for you that is the 3 of Cups, which is a very nice "growth" card of your emotional life. That sounds pretty nice. The 4 cups seems to be what the reading concludes on (4=foundations and stability), while the 3C seems to show a step back to a willingness to grow again, emotionally... (wow I am sitting here hearing the wind outside even as I type this! maybe something nice blowing into your life today sadsag! )
The page wands and the 3 cups go together, so it does seem like a step ahead into a growing emotional setting. I am going to look at some letters in this...
I got "fraidy kat" and "ditch"... I will be honest I think you fed up with L. It is taking energy for you to be optimistic about him, almost every time you mention him it is along with some observation about his fears, his issues, his "stuff". So I think the reading is really focusing on how much you have worked to get where you are (4C stable and happy emotionally within YOU) and I don't think you want to risk upsetting that by reciprocating to him. The 3 Cups I think is YOU somehow doing something nice with YOU and not someone else, like a trip to Ocean Shores, or the beach somewhere before it gets too cold... or maybe that place in Pike market that sells the little fruit things, Chucker cherries? I remember that place.
(Maybe time to "chuck" something else out of your life too.)
Blessings to you too sadsag! I see great things ahead for you, a new happiness and exuberance - the THREE of CUPS - YAYYYYY!!!! And maybe a day off from work too
Well the wind did not blow anything new into my life, not yet anyway. It sure did blow here though. Not steady but the gusts were quite amazing. i guess we actually had a tornado touch down too, south of here near Tacoma. No trees fell on my house though so I am grateful. On the other hand i still had to go to work, so no unexpected day off. I guess I will have to wait for the snow. Probably a good thing since I am very busy at work right now.
So the reading... Yes, i am tired of trying to figure L out. Actually, I think I have him pretty well figured out. And he more or less confirmed my hypothesis. If I piece together the bits of things he has said to me, it paints a pretty clear picture. And you are right, i have no more emotional energy for him. He told me, the night we broke up the last time, that I am the most optimistic person he has ever met. And in some ways I am. I guess I have more faith in people than they deserve. Well that optimism has run out. I no longer believe he is capable of overcoming his emotional wounds. I guess I won't ask him not to contact me, but like you said, this is the end of our physical relationship. Now it will only be text messages. i don't intend to see him again. of course, the Universe may have other ideas, as we may well run into each other somewhere, but I will deal with that if it happens. To be honest though, I don't think he is thinking any differently than I am. He tried, he can't do it and he knows it. So that is the end of that. Famous last words, right? (funny, I just scanned your reading again and you also used the word optimistic)
So a new path? I really have no idea right now. Something nice for me? Perhaps, At the moment I am just planning to hang out with friends and family. I am taking a couple of dance classes and gearing up to costume a big show this spring. Plenty to keep me busy. Then perhaps a real vacation this summer. Who knows? Nothing but time...
When was the last time you were at Pike Place? I have not idea what Chucker cherries are. lol perhaps I will have to go down there and investigate. I do love several of the nice restaurants down there. It is a fun place to go hang out. The tourists should be gone by now. A little wind and rain can run them off in a hurry.
Thanks for the reading. It seems pretty right on as usual. Hope all is well with you. Oh and I forgot to tell you! I am thinking of taking a motorcycle riding class. My son bought a bike and i want to ride it! It might have to wait until spring though. I'll keep you posted.
Love and light