Watergirl (Its Been Awhile)-In Need of Advice
I havent chatted with you in awhile! I hope all is well with you and your family. Im advancing in my career, and doing good with work (job) and Im currently in school. Im just extremely stressed out and constant worry in home which affects my success at times.
My mom is back with my father and the mental and escalating physical abuse is getting worse with both of them. I can focus and get my own place (I know its in me) but I would feel awfully guilty if I left my brothers and sisters. My household and family is extremely broken and I dont depend on it getting back together but I feel really bad for my younger siblings who have to take this and I feel they will grow up with much worse issues than I did. Its alot to write down on whats going on but I hope you can pick up on the vibes that is going on in my house. Its really really bad and makes it hard for me to focus especially when their is abuse and constant yelling being that I dont have my own room or place in the house.
What can I do to keep myself at bay while Im hear?
What can I do to help my siblings?
What is going on in my households and what can we do?
watergirl18 last edited by
I am sorry for what you are going through - I know it's been hard on you.
Have you been on an airplane? At the beginning, before the plane takes off, the flight attendants go through the emergency instructions. Part of the instructions is to explain what to do if the oxygen masks drop. They tell you to put your own on first before helping your children. The point being, if you lose consciousness due to lack of oxygen, you will not be able to help them. It is time for you to put on your own oxygen mask.
If your home is truly as bad as you say it is, then help your siblings not be staying there and being miserable with them, but by calling someone else to step in and help. Each state has its own name (here it is called the Department of Child and Family Services). If you call them they will come out and investigate and if the home is violent, unsafe, etc. they will remove the children and put them in foster care. Lead by example and show them how to get out by doing so yourself. You are not trapped. You are not a victim.
Underneath the issues of wanting to stay and be there for your siblings, there is a fear of stepping out on your own. Have the courage to feel the fear and do it anyway as they say. Have confidence in yourself and your ability to take care of yourself and provide for your own needs. This is one of your major karmic/life lessons. The childhood experience(s) you have had have been part of this. You will serve yourself best if you can always remember that issues of independence and relying on yourself will be the key for you. You did not feel safe, protected and provided for by your parents and are at the precipice now of beginning that journey of learning to provide for yourself. You will also have to learn to forgive your parents and accept that at a spiritual level you chose them in order to help you learn this life lesson. You have in the past and most likely will in the future also have a tendency to look to men to take care of you - this will be your shadow self. You will find that great relationship you crave once you have crossed over this major hurdle in your life of feeling safe, protected and provided for by yourself.
Sorry, this is all spilling out/through me quickly (you have much angelic help right now) so I hope this has been clear. But the bottom line is to spread your wings and fly. Do this in a mature fashion, though, as rash and impulsive behavior is not that of an adult. Ensure you have the income you need. Get roommates if you need to. Take measured, steady steps toward your future. Just don't use your siblings as an excuse to stay stuck.
Hope this helped,
watergirl18 last edited by
pulled some Angel cards for you...
Thank you for you advice Watergirl! I appreciate that-you described exactly what Im feeling and what I know deep down inside! Im going to move out to show my siblings you are strong and you can get away. Part of me is scared to be on my own but I know its my time to understand what its like and be comfortable in knowing I can and will provide for myself! I have some issues with my childhood yes but I see how far Ive come but I got a little more room to grow. Think its time for me to really buckle down and focus on how Im going to move out! It will definitely be inspiring for my siblings to see. Thank you Watergirl-the cards describe everything very perfectly!