Dear Ebby Ally
vettech78 last edited by
thank you for your reading and input. this made me fell much better. so do you see my fiance getting into a new job/profession by time baby arrieves? I really hate the idea of going through all this with him gone most of time. I feel strongly about this, i even said i didnt even really want to get married as long as he is over the road. I know what i want and need to be happy and have well balanced life. him being over the road just wont work for me, and just happy with truckers' lifestyle, is just isnt me and how i was raised. i need a husband/father to be there on daily basis, and i approach my romantic r.ships the same way. this field he is in has the highest divorce rate, and has been proven to be harmful to r.ships/families. Its a sad/unhappy time for me with him on road, but i understand its our only means for now. So iwould like to know how much longer i will have to deal with this. as for my mom being proud and happy, thats great news and a major change from how things are currently. My mom and fiance had a falling out about a year ago, my mom is dissapointed and very upset that im even still with him. she said she will not be at the wedding, and doesnt want to hear anything about it. My fiance made mistakes with his sharp uncontrolled tongue, which can get him into trouble. that and she things he is totally wrong 4me anyway. at one point she did say if i were to have kids with him she wants nothing to do with him or her, which is very unlike my mom. my mom is a good kind person who puts everyone ahead of herself. she even sacricied and did so much for my fiance. she feels like she was taken advantage of, and feels i betrayed her for allowing him to talk back/isrespect her. there was a point when my fiance was living with me at my moms, 8months into being there, things started slowly taking a fall. my fiance feels he is just a blunt honest person who says it like it is, where my mom thinks he a mean bully. i have to agree that he was in the wrong, and he and i went over that several times, anyway thing is, my mom dissaproves us being together, and im afraid of the moment ill have to tell her.
I'm really sorry you're going through such a hard time... just know that you're still in control and you can choose what you want to do regarding the pregnancy. I am a single mom and all I'll say that it is very difficult and no woman should feel they have no choice... it will be for life, so just think hard and search your heart what you will do.
Just my opinion, but you may want to wait until the 2nd trimester to tell your mother if you decide to go through with the pregnancy... and while you should be braced for the worst reaction, I believe she will come around and wouldn't hold it against a baby.... her opinion of him is unlikely to change unless he turns around completely, unfortunately.
As for him getting into a different profession... it doesn't look promising from what I can see... if this relationship and forming a family with this man is your top priority, then I believe you can and will overcome... the potential to be happy eventually is there... but I don't want to sugarcoat it... it won't be easy at all and will require a lot of endurance and compromise on your part.
If I were you, I would get out of this honestly... you control your life direction and your fertility as it should be... but I am not you and I only wish you the best as you follow your own heart and own path. love and light, you are powerful and can have a good life either way you go on this