Guidance for new mommy
flowerchild7 last edited by
Am I giving him what he needs? Just wondering if anyone can give guidance on this. He is a happy laughing baby but does cry a lot when it's just us. He doesn't light up when he sees me but does when his dad and grandma do.
Blmoon last edited by
Babies come into this world very psychic---they are a clean slate and their world is processed through vibes--all vibes!! They specially mirror whatever emotional state the mother is in. Any mother who has raised children will tell you that when moms feeling off or down--the children as well will tend to be cranky untill they are old enough to seperate--between 4-5.....and go into their own world.. If you are unsure or insecure your baby will feel afraid. Gatther full confidence!! KNOW your baby loves you!! You are mommy. You cant fake it so really control your thoughts. Also, a child WILL at times learn to manipulate mom withe the guilt thing and your child does have a strong independant streak so start early. I was a teacher for many years of little ones and it is true that a insecure mom would bring her little one screaming to the door--the mom was so filled with guilt---but I swear--two minutes after mom drove away that child was laughing and engaged with friends while mom probably cried all the way to work! I have seen the same event at the end of the day in after care--a child laughing and playing but the moment an insecure mom got in the door that child became rude, whiney and mom left embarrassed. Of course the moms just think you are trying to make them feel better when you tell them REALLY the child had a happy day!! Mom is the closest bond in most cases so keep your insecurities in check--because a baby will feel them and an older child will use them to manipulate. Clear your thoughts---no more worring. Remember a baby has no language yet but only feels vibes. The best gift is to be happy--play peekaboo etc--look in their eyes with confidence and they will be happy. As for crying, most all babies cry!! It is a nervouse system release. Pay attention to overloads. Bright lights--too much noise---too much input etc. I used to call 5 oclock the critical hour. Just when dad comes in--dinner needs tending the kids lose it!! dad and mom snap. Nature is a very natural calmer for babies--fresh are and nature will help babies sleep well. Older women who have more baby expierience can make you feel less confident but do not let them....it's not that they have something more--they just are more confident. Spend more alone time with your baby in quiet situations so you can know them--their little quirks and personalities. Also, what looks like prefered presence when dad and grandmanter is just newness--babies get bored!! Newness enters they light up. Babies grow very fast--brainwise--so they crave constant visual stimulation--yet it is simple stuff--colors moving--trees swaying---you singing. Also babies and children thrive on ritual and a schedual. Do patterns of consistant timely things. When I taught aftercare the little nappers had a ritual I never changed--lights out at a certein time--a soothing music cd that never changed--taught their brains to calm and sleep. Babies thrive on ROUTINE. Start a routine your babie can bond with that is just between you. When my forst grandson was little he hated naps and would not sit still in a highchair to eat lunch so everyday at 11 I put him in a carseet drove up and down the lake front feeding him finger food as he bopped to the same bee gees cd. After lunch it was home and I rocked him in my rocker as he resisted---put on the same eric clapton cd everyday and he went to sleep by the third track! We laugh now--he's in high school and a great musician who plays three instruments!!. He too was very sensitive and had to have scream time because he was easily stimulated. I never took it personal! I knew it was just his way of releasing. We spent lots of time in my garden--I would give him a water can and let him water as I worked. Also he loved a swing cranked on high. As you bond securely with your babie YOU will learn his little needs and quirkes but it takes really focusing on him and not being overwhelmed with your insecurities. Babies can read mommy's mind!! BLESSINGS