Blmoon (update) and Question for anyone willing to look :)
Wanted to give you an update. This "friend" that proposed in my original thread ended up warping into one of the best relationships. I didn't mean to fall for him, BUT, I did. He's leaving, and I'm OK... I feel like I'm in such a solid place in my life that he adds to it, but doesn't define it. That said, I'm going to miss him like craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy...phew, hurts a little to think about. How blessed am I to have found a love that impacts enough to elicit that?!
So, here's the part for anyone willing to look or answer: the weird part about having him in my life is that not only has it given me reason to think about me, going forward, but also what I want my life to look like. He sparked thoughts that I haven't had in the past couple years about kids. I always wanted more and it was one of those sore subjects that partially contributed in my divorce years ago. ::::::
So now, I have to ask, bc I'm going on 36, and it kinda hurts my heart a little to think I might not have the chance, do you see any more kids in my future? I have wanted, for sooooo long, to have a few more but I feel like with my life's direction, and the fact that I"m possibly becoming single again, that it may not happen, and it's a little disheartening.
I've got good things going on. I"m happy and in a good place...and so lucky to have loved a balanced love again!
I see three children in the future but I'm seeing them as coming into your life as inheriting them not giving birth----they are blessings that come from a close relationship. All girls---or do you already have three girls?. I see three girls around you in a happy way.If you already have three girls that too would explain not seeing a future birth. I'm in a rush at the moment so just giving you my quik impression. Mostly I hear that you have what you desire, no need to wish or try for anything else. Children will be a part of your life.
I have a 17 yr old boy and one 12yr old girl. I had my son very young :). That maternal instinct is soooo strong. I always laugh about how "my ovaries hurt". I've wanted another one for soooooo long. Not that I'm devestated to hear that but it does make me a little sad. My kids are amazing blessings in my life, I love them, I guess knowing how they impact me makes me want more of that... There's that part of me too that just wants to feel that life in me again, it's so miraculous... Hard to let go of the thought of having it again.