Are all scorpios this secretive?



  • I've come to find it very hard to understand scorpio men. I have been in an on and off relationship with a scorpian and he has been very confusing. When we first met he did all the chasing. We just started dating again about a month ago. Now days it seems to be me who does the chasing. I've read to be secretive or mysterious to "win" him over but thats hard in my case because we were already in a relationship before. We broke up due to bad timing and than decided we missed each other to much and wanted to make things work. He wanted to take it slow. Just when I think he's not interested he becomes interested. Just when I think he is he than acts uninterested. Confused! How do I KEEP him interested even after having history together. He also does this "open up thing" to than "close up" on me thing. For example he will open up and tell me how much I mean to him and than close up and be somewhat distant or not very attentive. I feel like he has such deep feelings for me that it scares him so he goes back in "control form". Is that possible?

    I've read to either play his game back on him by not giving him any more attention OR keep giving him the attention and loyalty and love even if he's not doing it first. Because he's "testing" me and my loyalty for him. But honestly it feels like a game. But I read if I don't give him attention and play his game back he will either start chasing me OR get hurt and leave me alone.. which I don't want. Which is the correct way?

    What should I be doing?



  • 1st talk to him and tell him what you told us here. Why hide whats going on in your mind and heart?

    or

    Play the game.

    It bothers me when people hide thier feelings for fear of consequence in matters of the heart. Would'nt it be better to state the problem to the source with honesty and a open heart, and listen to what the source has to say?, than to play like things don't bother you and be confused, unhappy and let your mind fill up with things that are often times imagined or turn out not to be the case at all? And if it is the case isn't it better to get it all out into the open? Just something to think about.



  • I have the same prob. !!! I need an answer too. How old are you guys?



  • He is NO different from all other men. all men love to chase, and all men love women who are mysterious. no big mystery here, he is a man and needs a challenge, and some men needs CONSTANT challenge or they get bored, and move on.

    At this point with where you 2 are, the love has not yet developed, and I don't know if it will or not.

    you both are new at this, and you 2 are just feeling each other out with mind games and the like.

    you do need to change your strategy or your approach as it's not working too well with what you have been doing.

    Men love silence and space, and love the thrill of a good chase.

    Sunny



  • i feel for you, i have been in an on and off r.ship with a scorpio man for close to six years.havent spoken for two months i am a mess. i dont know if its over for good .he has been hot and cold and it was going good just before then he just changed and he has done this before.so many times. like you i have struggled to know whether to withhold attention or give it,.i can relate to everything you have posted. maybe he is the same guy. i am unable to sleep properly and im really struggling. i also hate games. i just want to give and receive genuine love.i am sorry you are going through this there seems to be a growing number of us experiencing similar things.just look at the asclac thread. it is so incredibly painful when you love someone and they go cold .i am finding it unbearable. hugs to you.



  • aaww, you ladies are really suffering, but sweeties, it's called "LOVE" love is joyful when 2 people are in harmony.. many of you are simply going through the dating cycle, and some of you will fall in love, while some are just looking until they find what they seek out in a potential mate.

    running hot and cold all of us go through that, and if you were honest with yourself, you would agree that yuo have hurt men, not all men, no of course not, and yes, you have hurt men in the past, so it's all fair in love and war.

    it's fierce competition out there, and in this era, men will not commit with a woman unless they have sex before a commitment is made or a proposal of marriage. because a man does not want to get stuck with a woman if he is not having good hot passionate sex. compatibility is just as important as having compatible sex. this is as equally important for a female. not just about the man..

    hot and cold simply is his way of communicating that he is not sure.



  • geez, I wish they quit the editing lol

    what I was saying was about good hot passionate S E X

    lol

    Sunny



  • Hi, I usally only post on another thread... but yours caught my eye. May I?

    I've come to find it very hard to understand scorpio men.

    I can relate....

    Get I have been in an on and off relationship with a scorpian and he has been very confusing.

    They all are.

    When we first met he did all the chasing. We just started dating again about a month ago. Now days it seems to be me who does the chasing. I've read to be secretive or mysterious to "win" him over but thats hard in my case because we were already in a relationship before. We broke up due to bad timing and than decided we missed each other to much and wanted to make things work.

    okay.

    He wanted to take it slow. Just when I think he's not interested he becomes interested. Just when I think he is he than acts uninterested. Confused!

    Baby girl don't be. This is how they "dance". They take one step forward and two steps back.

    How do I KEEP him interested even after having history together.

    I think if he's still calling he's interested.

    😉

    He also does this "open up thing" to than "close up" on me thing. For example he will open up and tell me how much I mean to him and than close up and be somewhat distant or not very attentive.

    Ok, that is classic scorp. It's ok, not a bad thing. He's kissing you and then running away before you can "slap" him. It's ok, trust me. If he opened up and ran... it's ok darlin. It's the open part thats very big.

    I feel like he has such deep feelings for me that it scares him so he goes back in "control form". Is that possible?

    yes, that's it. see... trust your inner twinkle.

    😉

    I've read to either play his game back on him by not giving him any more attention OR keep giving him the attention and loyalty and love even if he's not doing it first. Because he's "testing" me and my loyalty for him. But honestly it feels like a game. But I read if I don't give him attention and play his game back he will either start chasing me OR get hurt and leave me alone.. which I don't want. Which is the correct way?

    What should I be doing?

    sweetie, this is what I did... and it worked, unfortunitaly "real life" his and mine got in the way...lol... but way back what I did and it worked like a charm...

    (1) NEVER call him. Answer almost every time he calls and ALWAYS sound happy.... even if you're not. AFTER a while of happy calls then you can say the "ugh, I had a bad day" but i would not make it a habit at first as they are prone to think doom and gloom of you.

    (2) Talk and be yourself. I mean dont say you like sushi when the smell of fish makes you gag.... that will go to your integrity.

    (3) compliment him... not often, but now and again as secretly they are insecure.

    (4) DON'T ever try and make him jealous... it may back fire

    (5) Dont tease him with $e% unless it's part of the game that night

    😉

    (6) if he disapears and then reappears after a day or two... just be happy dont ask and act as if eveything is normal. Before you know it he'll tell you what he's up to.

    Good luck baby doll.

    I'm off to bed. you can find me crying over my guy an the other thread.... lol... just ask stranger and xtine ..lol..



  • oh but dont answer every call or every text....(poof!) that's your mystery.

    night sweetie

    ❤



  • Light-en-dark - I love your advice, because it holds true no matter what signs are involved, or what is going on in a relationship. It's never good to feel that you have to hold back your feelings or be your authentic self.

    As for scorps, I have a lot of experience with them, married to one for 14 years too. All that hot and cold, back and forth, erratic emotions, controlling situations, controlling me, was more than my emotional Cancer self could handle. Three major relationships with Scorps for me - most of my dating life. I have something that appeals to them, but then they play all those games and reveal so little of themselves, and even if they finally do, I was never sure I could trust it as openess or just one more ploy to manipulate. All that craziness just tore me up. No more scorps for me. (Although I will say that I am involved with a Virgo, thinking I was in a "safe" zone, until I figured out his moon is in Scorp. LOL!!! I think I am just cursed.)



  • jenever,

    i am a virgo with scorp moon female. can you describe your partner i wonder if its like me?? i do feel very scorp like alot of the time.then very virgo too. i am born close to libra end of virgo 23rd sep so cusp. 14 years of marriage to scorp. wow. seems like they so much want a relationship and the whole family love thing then they flip out and want to be free. mine is born cusp sag scorp with mercury and venus in sag so freedom..... fine well he must be able to accept mine. but the control thing i hear you. same. i met a scorp girl a while back to actually said she would never date herself ..she said that scorps are hypocrites and have double standards and has admitted to cheating etc. was pretty refreshing her honesty.it got me thinking though. you see the thing that really gets me is that true love and respect IS freedom. acceptance of another is freedom. honesty is freedom. but unfortunately this world is based on lies and censorship and false security. we are as humans so conditioned into thinking and believing a certain way. i do really love my scorp. but he is troubled . i am too. but thats the thing when you scrape all the s.hit away we are just the same. i wanted him to save me . mistake. i fell into him and onto him. till he couldnt breathe and i couldnt stand up. he did the same.it was just more subversive and subtle. i dont know where i am going with this. can i ask you what happened in the end with the scorp you married did you have kids together? are you still in contact? how is virgo different? thanks..



  • sunny,

    we DID have hot passionate s.ex! there was in the second year a period where it waned a bit but that was because i was wanting to go on a holiday with him and he didnt, then he got insecure and stopped trusting me which in turn made me not trust him and the mutual respect and attraction declined. i would say to him- you want a woman who is going to be at home all the time. and he said - you dont know what i want. he was defensive. but then i would ask him often -" what do you want?" and he wouldnt answer.he knew when he met me who i was and that i liked to go camping etc and have a trip away once a year. he could see who i was - was it running? sure there was maybe an element of that- i hadnt settled and had children but it wasnt becuase i didnt want that. i did. but i wanted to make sure that life would be not stagnant no matter what. with kids or without. he tried to clamp down on me. why? i really dont know. his own fear of loss perhaps . loss of me and also loss of his own freedom.

    i think it is very hard to truly understand what it is like with these particular men unless you have been in a very close long term relationship with them. i do hear what you are saying re the women hurting the men. and i have i guess. unintentionally. i was much younger and didnt have plans to be serious with anyone yet . maybe cos i saw so many people married who seemed unhappy. yes and my own childhood..unhappy. my mother and father unhappy . it does stay with you. but i so tried to turn it around with this scorpio man. i feel so shut down now.

    whats your love situation like??



  • Jenever- I have the same questions as stranger2 lol. Is there any advice I should do as in pulling back or not? From what I read from you it seems it doesnt even matter... I will talk to him but I never know when I will get the hot or cold reaction from him.

    Stranger2- thank you for your kind words. It feels good to not be the only one going threw such things. Im just so damn confused all the time! Sometimes I think im going crazy but I wont let go. May I ask why you guys broke it off the last time?

    Xtine- we are both in our 20's. How about you? Are you with your scorpio guy now or are you off? Is he confuseing during the relationship?

    Ms Sunny- Thank you for your advice as weel. I gave him good passionate s e x before but being back in the game I have decided to take that part slow as well. When we do hang out our s e x u a l tention is too hard to ignore though lol

    Moonbeauty- Thank you for posting on my thread. I am going to take your advice since you said it had seemed to work for you. I will back off a bit and let him come around. I have one question though... how do I act when were together? Still positive and attentive? When we hang out he seems to be all over me. Not in just a " I want s e x" kind of way but im into you. Its just after I leave he acts distant or whatever.. advice?



  • Moonbeauty- Thank you for posting on my thread. I am going to take your advice since you said it had seemed to work for you. I will back off a bit and let him come around.

    There are two cute books... Try "Why Men Love B-I-T-C-H-E-S" and "Why Men Marry B-I-T-C-ES" I love them. I found them VERY useful when dealing with guys in general.

    I have one question though... how do I act when were together? Still positive and attentive?

    OMG! ...lol... yes, of course. think about it like this... when he sees/talks to you... think and be happy!

    In his mind he will relate "happy" to Scorp addict.

    A good way to look at it is.... Scorpaddict = happy so in his brain...

    Me + Scorpaddict = happy

    When we hang out he seems to be all over me. Not in just a " I want s e x" kind of way but im into you.

    Awwwwww.........

    Its just after I leave he acts distant or whatever.. advice?

    All sounds ok to me. If a man loves you... and is happy around you... he will crave you. All you need to do is be you.

    ❤



  • Thank you Jenever7. All is true, so much unhappiness can be prevented by talking honestly to the source of your problems ( man and women ). If you are feeling insecure there is a reason for it. By ignoring that feeling or thought you are going to compound that feeling untill it destroys you, your romance, relationship or yourself esteme by becoming bigger than it really was to begin with. You act foolishly and compromise your true self. Your mind won't let you get away with it for long. It will come out one way or another, and usualy in the form of breakup. With all parties being confused and not knowling what really happened. If only you would have addressed the original problem to begin with, but alas ..we don't do that do we? If you would have had the courage to go to the source, you may have found out what was bothering you was not the case at all, and if it was you will feel so much better about yourself for having the courage to say it and talk about it and the reasons.



  • Light-en-dark, Again beautifully spoken. People are you listening? There is truth in this. It's hard to put your fears aside and simply reveal what's on your mind or in your heart. You may worry that you will lose the object of your affection. But how else can you ever know the truth? Waiting, waiting, waiting for your partner to "spill it" first?

    I read something once about trust that stuck with me - along the lines that when you don't believe that you can trust another person with your feelings, then basically you have no real trust between you. The only way to know if you can trust a person with your feelings is to share them. If you can't do that, then at some level you really don't believe that other person is capable of knowing what to do with your feelings. You may already believe they will do something negative with them. Hurt you, or not feel the same way back, make you feel foolish. But as long as you are afraid to show that trust and take the risk of revealing your real thoughts and feelings, you will live in uncertainty. Uncertainty breeds negativity. So much easier dealing with consequences, whether positive or negative. when you know that you have come to those consequences through honesty. Not games or manipulation. You can never really be sure of the truth as long as you know you are playing games to achieve an outcome. Do you know what I mean? If you play games as a response to your perception that your partner is playing games with you, then what you really have is two people playing a great big game - not a relationship at all.

    Stanger2 - I would be glad to share some of my experiences with Scorps and thoughts about Virgo's as well. I wonder if I should start a different thread to address that? Scorpaddict, are you okay with me expounding on this on your thread? I'll warn you, once I get cranked up it could get long, lol. Let me know, okay. Totally fine with starting a new thread to reply to Stranger2.



  • men! I just can't figure them out. all that silent and space they need drives me up a wall. well, my man is Virgo! but he does have mars planet in scorpio, venus planet in virgo. guess what? I have exactly the same. it's weird and awesome at the same time. I am Leo with Mars in scorp, and venus in virgo, and no surprise there because we are a good match. sex is great, love is great, he is steady, and none of that emotional cold and hot. not saying he is not without issues, hey we all have issues right?

    it's the love, and all of that pain that feels like a sharpe knife when you are rejected. no one wants to get hurt, and yet, you gotta keep trying, and it's worth the risk.

    be strong, love will find it's way to you again, if youare open to it. be willing to let go of what is not working in your life. and be willing to be open to new energies that could make you even happier than the previous.

    it's not about being a victim, enough of the victim nonsense, you were a willing participant, and agreed to take the chance or risk of possibly not working out.

    it's all about lessons, and evolve which leads to maturity, and spiritual growth. sad and so true, that some turn bitter and feeble, but it does not have to be that way..

    Ms Sunny



  • ms sunny,

    yes so so true and i am on a path of growth right now. realising so much how i have shut down out of fear when i could have been open. yes enough of the victim. love IS worth the risk. its difficult cos it does need two willing people to do it. he also had fears and the two just compounded. but i havent given up yet. you have a virgo. virgos are steady. my step dad was a virgo and i am. and two women i know who i think are marvellous. virgos are very loyal and will support you and stick by you, encourage you to grow. they arent into playing games either.they are perfectionists though!good and frustrating ! thanks for your insight.

    jenever,

    yes im ok with another thread. not fussed either way.

    i really like what you said by the way. just what i have been thinking about alot tonight. wating around never knowing is a torture. time to get honest. im almost ready to approach him. scared though.

    scorpaddict,

    yes the confusion. yes the not being able to let go.the going crazy .yes. yes yes i hear you! im the SAME. but it is killing me and i know i cannot go on like this forever. it would be foolish. i need to find out from him soon if it is truly over for ggod. then i can have closure. what happened? i dont even know to be honest.. alot odf ongoing disputes that snowballed on itself.me going away fro a week to see my gf. ( i had been waiting for him to agree to go somewhwre with me.. again this had happened many times.. so i would go by myself.life is short. he didnt like it. go somewhere meaning holiday, short break. i personally know it wouldve been good for the r.ship as an energy booster, change can do that.he kept saying he needed a holiday.anyway we were meant to get counselling ( his suggestion- i organinsed it) had to wait three weeks cos she was away so i decided to go before sessions started. he had asked me if i wanted kids with him i hadnt said yes _ or no- i just thought we needed counselling first. i felt like he was sabotaging counselling. when i got back from my trip away he had moved ou tof his place without telling me. wou;dnt tell me where he was. didnt turn up to counselling. i was destroyed. shocked i still thought he would show up. anyway a brief argument on phone and he said i had double standards and hung up on me.been two months now.it doesnt feel like the end to me. but it might be for him so i have to somehow get the courage to find out and i am terrified of the rejection. terrified that he doesnt want me. maybe he has someone else. i would almost rather live in fantasy that he does stil want me and hope that he comes around. but he wont. not this time. keep seeing him around the town. its so hard. cant sleep at night properly. alot of anxiety. i cant go on like this for much longer..



  • when you are in love , you fall hard, and when it does not work out, it's very painful, lonely, and the rejection can take a long time to heal.

    I do know it can take a long time to get over the person who hurt you. I know it took me 3 long years to get over a man who rejected me. don't recall what sign he was, and it does not matter..

    I have done lots of psychic readings over the years, and the stories I have heard would just make you cry. another lady I met, took her 5 years to get over a love/rejection.

    it can take a long long time to heal.. it's slow, and yes it hurts,but it will hurt even more by holding onto someone who wants or needs to move on.

    let it go, let it fly away, and wish for the best.. if he is meant to be in y our life, he will return and without you manipulating, pulling, begging, none of those ego tripping games. or someone entirely new will come around.

    Sunny



  • Stranger2, STOP!!! stop doing this to yourself!!! Slow down and take a deep breath!! Love hurts when its not given back to you. Most of us have been there and we all know the pain. Its like your soul is burning and nothing makes sense and nobody can make it better than the one who is doing it to you. And thats the way it feels now, I know. You want him to come and beg your forgivness and say how stupid he has been. That you are the only thing in life that he needs. You want him to ask, can you ever forgive him . I know my darling, it s a very painful experience. But you must get control of yourself or your health will suffer. Please sweet child ..stop.

    I have more to say and I must think how to say it, I have to go to work now. But even if you don't take my advice, or its not what you want to hear. Please stop torturing yourself and takes some deep breaths.For everything there is a reason. Give the heavens more than a passing glance.


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