Perspective needed?

  • Recently rekindled a relationship with my ex-wife. The feelings and emotions were clearly there from both of us. and we started down the path of rekindling our romance slowly, which was what we both agreed to. I will say this...we divorced fro a number of reasons most were from family interference on both sides, which are resolved. The other part is my ex has a very tough exterior and a very soft middle and I did not relize of soft or how hurt she was in the first part of our marriage.

    The issue arises that about 6 weeks into our new relationship she pushed me away and said she couldnt forget the past and she did not like her friends pushing her. Her friends that she asked if this was agood thing or not is now supporting us all the way. One of the things that she holds onto is she believed I cheated on her but has no evidence, just her gut feeling. I will be clear for all readers....I never cheated on my wife. Our new relationship has stopped and not sure what to do...How do you assure a person that you were not cheating on her??

    I believe she is teting to see if the grass is greener elsewhere and that is a very hurtful thing...she is keeping me at arms length and I am not sure if I should ride this out, which could make me look the fool or just walk away. I believe we have a very strong connection and I am deeply in Love with her and have been. We were married for 7 years and have beens friends for 15. She wants help from me in some areas but is treating me as a business associate not a close friend or even an ex. I feel like I am being used!

    What to do, what to do? BTW I am 4/29/1969 and she is 7/15/1970. I think she is worth the effort but not sure she thinks I am and I am not sure I want to wait around to clean up the crash and burns to realize what she has in me.


  • After reading over your post, it seems to me that she has some real issues. I don't think it is going to get better. In my experience, people who accuse others of cheating, when in fact they have not, are guilty of the same. Jealous too. This is my opinion. I don't know her. I don't think this is a sane situation for you. But, based on what you have said, it's not going to turn into the kind of relationship that you are looking for. My advice--Time to move forward.

  • Usually a relationship between Cancer/Taurus makes great match,!

    What made her accuse you of cheating in the first place......was there anything that could have given her a reason to think in this way?

    Did she possibly go thru any changes that may have made her loose her self esteem?

    Or could it be that the entire " rekindling " of the relationship could be based on feeling safe in the "familiar" and being scared of the " unfamiliar" .....know what I mean??!!

    Maybe this will help you below (copied it from a web site)

    IMPORTANT: It is VERY IMPORTANT to further investigate and compare your Rising Signs, Moon placements and Venus placements. The Moon is emotional; therefore, a cold moon coupled-up with a snuggling moon can change everything. A Venus placement that "Loves" to work coupled-up with a Venus placement that Loves to spend time with family can change everything. Rising Sign's dictate personality and outlook, so a Rising Sign that is more career focused coupled-up with a Rising Sign that is more spiritually focused can change everything.

  • Yes there was an incident, as I will refer to it. I had a long time friend (girl) that is married with 2 children. We had a very very flirtatious relationship for a long time but we never crossed the line physically. Emotionally and in words no dont. One of those could have beens. Well when I decided to propose to my ex in mid 2000, I visited her while on a business trip to Orlando to show her the ring and tell her we had to stop with the emails. While I was single, it didnt really matter flirting, she said everything was cool and we didnt do anything physical. While I was dating my ex, we did share emails early on but once I realized this was the one, I tried to stop them by not replying. Well my ex found out I visited her and felt I betrayed her. We seem to move on from that point but than it seemed liek over the next few years she could only see the bad in the relationship and not the good. It seemed to eat at her. And yes...she did lose self esteem somehow...She is the most beautiful woman inside and out that I have ever dated but I could never show her how much And let me clear, I was no angel...I messed up plenty of times but I never cheated on her. I did stupid little things but they seemed to add up to bigger things after a while in my ex's mind. I know I should move on but I see all the good things in her and how much love she has and what we shared. It been 2 years since our divorce but I can not help but see what we tossed away. Probably stupid I know but I see a lot of people doing that and I bothers me. It seems we like misery versus working at a relationship......

Log in to reply