Ladies, how to find the perfect guy - just fall in love with him.

  • So I have come to the conclusion that it is the boys who simply reflect back love to the girls, not the girls waiting for some guy to fall in love with them. I wrote a short piece on my blog about how the guys are all under this illusion that WE are supposed to be the ones chasing the girls... NO. It is the girls who chase the guys... and once a girl finds the boy and she loves him, and the boy at last meets her and feels her love for him... then he immediately falls in love with her, and the relationship is heavenly. She is an angel.

    So there is some wacky stuff going on between men and women, as the men have been convinced somehow that THEY are the ones chasing. NO! A guy does NOTHING except wait for her. So you ladies wondering when you are going to find the "one" all you have to do is meet your guy and fall in love with him, and once YOUR love is GENUINE and AUTHENTIC then the guy will eventually meet you and feel your love for him, and then immediately fall in love with you and the relationship is divine.

    I think it originates with the girls because you are all angels. The guys are Earth beings, mostly clueless. So the girls are from other worlds is what is going on. Pleadies, Sirius, Venus, Jupiter (I have seen Jupiter girls a lot in WalMart)... What I can't figure out is why this pattern would be so clouded to where the guys are chasing down girls they have no reason chasing.

    So that is the solution to all relationship issues on this planet. Girls chase guys and guys do nothing exceot fly RC planes and work on cars and have fun while they wait.

    I have a pretty good idea who my angel is (however that is all under her control)... I just never understood nor did it ever occur to me that I would ever find her. A girl that would actually loves me? That... never occurred to me. That there would actually be someone out there.

    So, what has been happening (and this is the reason for divorce) is that the guys are chasing down companions for wrong reasons, "thinking" its love, and then a relationship is started where they are both faking it. And the guy has no choice except to reflect back fake love... leading to eventual collapse of the relationship. Divorce and so on. The WORKING pattern is for the guy to do nothing and wait for her to find him (which we see that pattern in Genesis)... so WHY is this not taught? The church should be teaching that it would save a lot of heartache for relationships today... the girls are the ones deciding who they want - NOT THE GUYS!

    I don't know how this factors into same s e x relationships, I only know that a guy is the MOON and the girl is the SUN... in other words...

    WE (the guys) love HER because SHE first loved ME.

    So, God is a girl... not a guy. I don't know who this "Father" figure is... that is weird. Girlfriend in Heaven is a more accurate picture. SHE (the angel) is in Heaven and loves a GUY on Earth and when that is settled, it is perfect. I kinda wrote a book on this a while back, the Love of Angels.

    So you girls who are in love with some boy, all you have to do is LOVE HIM and he will eventually find you... I don't know what all is going on between the girls as they (fight?) over the guys... no clue at all on that one. Extraterrestrial warfare maybe. I only know that the HIGHER POWERS will always prevail and whatever deception, or weirdness has been going on eventually gives way.

    Wow, I just saw this in truth this morning... after 58 years of life as a deluded male... clueless about love.

    (Oh and here is a card since this is a Tarot forum... the 2 of Cups.)

  • Hey Astra,

    I don't want to burst your bubble...hahahahah but POP!

    Girls are just as clueless...

    yes, they think differently...not a bad thing.. both sides have fears and questions and insecurities...

    Hey Astra,

    I don't want to burst your bubble...hahahahah but POP!

    Girls are just as clueless...

    yes, they think differently...not a bad thing.. both sides have fears and questions and insecurities...

    add to the mix, expectations..and the dream

    then life throws in the monkey wrench…. How you deal with the wrench..nuts and bolts…is the key.

    Just my two cents...which will get me far...hahahhaha...oh wait...i have debt, so it gone...hahahahah

  • I dunno, I have always had the sense that the ladies were much more "in the know" on relationships than I will ever be. Maybe thats cuz I simply am WAY over in the clueless zone haha...

    (Patching bubble back together... now filling it back up with air.........)

  • Helium or Hot air?...hahahahahaha

    Just busting…it fun…

  • 🙂 I got to give this one a bit more thought...interesting theory!!!

  • Astra I thought telling a guy that one loves him is the first step to making him run a mile;)

  • Well, I think AstraAngel may be right. I dreamed about a man years ago, and kept dreaming about him for 7 years all up. In the 6th year, a face was placed upon my dream man and I knew who he was. As impossible as it was at the time (I was married then, but the marriage was on the rocks) I fell in love with this dream man, then realised I was in love with the real one.

    Three years later, after I'd had to let him go due to circumstances out of my control, he came back a few days ago. He got in touch with me and came out to see me.

    If this isn't destiny or true love in its purest form, I don't know what it is. There are things that could prevent us being together though, but they will be fear-based, so I am hoping he doesn't let that influence the final decision. I am letting him be for now, keeping my hopes alive and trying to trust in all I saw in those dreams.

    And I will probably be the one who tells him how I feel first ... and that's a risk I'm willing to take, as to lose him again would be unbearable if I haven't told him how I really feel about him.

    This also explains why I've had so many issues with my dealings with men in recent times; why I've been sort of casting around; why I was looking without looking, if you know what I mean ... I knew something was coming, and even though I'd pretty well forgotten about this dream man, he has come back to me and all those feelings came flooding back.

    So how's that for a love story? This one just needs its ending, and the one I've got pictured thank you very much!!



  • Moon wish you lots of love and luck! If the guy has any sense he will lap you up and you won't have to say a word:)

    All the very best

  • Hehe~ interesting theory, but I have to TOTALLY disagree! (Warning: Long Explanation Coming Up!)

    Men are not supposed to be clueless idiots that MODERN society expects them to be, but since that's what society expects and silly women go along, that's how they act. Men are supposed to be initiators, the wonderful natural born leaders, providers, and protectors God made them to be. Don't know what type of Bible you're reading, but women are supposed to be his 'helpmeet' that is to say, his partner, his nurturer, confidant and support (yep, I'm not a feminist, just feminine!). Both create a wonderful dynamic you can't find in any other sort of relationship and becomes a beautiful reflection of God's love for his "church" as well as a reflection of God himself. He technically has no gender, a perfect balance of male and female, while we only have a small bit of the opposite gender in us (probably to help us understand each other a little), but my theory on calling Him "Father" comes from the idea that if you have a mix of both men and women in a group, in certain languages you refer to them in the masculine (heck, even in English we would refer to such a group as "you guys") to make it easier. I don't find that offensive at all, in fact, I'm flattered that when in presence of men, I'm referred to as their equal!

    Also, I've been around enough crazy women to no longer believe a female god or "goddess" as some would say to even be possible (we can be real emo b*tches sometimes!). I just smoosh the two sides together and call it a He to make it easier on myself. The whole silly "is He actually a She?" thing is really all about technicalities, and in my own opinion, a reflection of the times, nothing more. Seeing as I no longer believe in following what the modern "world" says about my god and savior, there's no reason to change it just so I can feel more comfortable when following Him has nothing to do with comfort or even happiness, but about righteousness, glorifying Him in all that I do, and finding true peace through Him, no matter what comes my way.

    I used to have that strange thinking that women were better than men. Boy, was I wrong! I don't seem to belong in this century at all anymore as its thinking is now completely upside down for me. I'm not saying a woman should never express interest, and in some cases be the initiator, but they should NEVER chase men. That's just as bad as men chasing women. A woman should however dictate the pace when a man expresses interest, and modern women seem to be lost on the concept that they have more power over the relationship than they think. Chasing men does not make a woman "empowered", it just reinforces the horrible idea that Men can have their cake and eat it too, while tricking the woman into thinking that's what she's getting as well!

    Anyways, that's just my opinion. I don't mean any of this to put you down, Astra. Its obvious you're in the middle of some soul searching right now, and I wish you the best of luck! Just keep in mind that just because certain things seem inconvenient, make you unhappy or uncomfortable, doesn't mean you have to change them to make yourself more comfortable. Please explore WHY it makes you uncomfortable first. For all you know, it might actually be you that needs to change. I've been learning that the past 12 years the hard way, and I'm still learning. People often insist on changing the world or the reality around them without ever thinking about taking a good look at themselves, as if they think there can't possibly be anything wrong.

    Not that there's anything wrong with you, but it does happen to the best of us! I'm a pretty good example of it.

    Oh, and go after that beautiful angel that you spoke of before someone else snatches her up! If you don't think she'll respond well to you being so direct, you can be more subtle, just don't make it TOO subtle!


  • suramya, while I don't want to take over Astra's thread, I want to thank you for your comment, and hope he does exactly what you said!! Time will tell ...

    JoyLily, I don't completely disagree with what you're saying here, and I'm no man chaser, but sometimes things just don't go completely according to plan. There are things put in place that we have no power over, and while that is so, there has become this incredibly cynical attitude towards love and relationships that has actually - in my humble view - sullied both men and women and almost killed any hope of just simply falling in love with someone. We've had this ridiculous criteria thing going on which - again, in my view - needs to be thrown out with most pollies. I mean, how on earth can we expect to have true love in our lives, when there are people going around with lists, ticking boxes, like, he's too short, she doesn't want children, he drinks I don't, she only has a job not a career, he's not fair haired, she's not slim enough, etc, etc.

    Sometimes, attraction comes because it's simply THERE and can't be explained in a conventional way.

    Astra here, has pointed out something so amazingly simple that I even slapped myself in the forehead when I read this! It is so OUT THERE, that in its craziness, makes more sense than the stuff we've been fed for far too long now.

    But really, we could debate this point back and forth, when all it comes down to is two people being attracted to each other and eventually falling in love, bottom line. Any judgements by either involved about not fitting the "bill" so to speak, are the insecurity of the one making the judgement.

    When it comes to love, I'm afraid I'm one of those who believe that the heart needs to rule, with the head only coming into it to a small degree.

    You know what they say: do what you love and the rest falls into place, if not straight away, then eventually.

    The same applies to love itself. You can't help, predict or influence who you love and when. AndI mean TRULY love, not just the egotistical stuff we've been conditioned to believe is real.





  • PS: I forgot to mention that if the opportunity/right time presents itself, I'll tell this guy how I had felt, and still feel about him, consequences be blowed.

    If he runs a mile, then he's not ready or doesn't feel anything other than friendship. But what I do know, is that he is one who needs to be TOLD how someone feels. He's hinted at it anyway, so, who'm I to keep him in suspense for too much longer??

    We expect men these days to bow to our new-found power, revere our independence, etc, so while we're taking on these traditionally male traits, why can't we take on some of the initiative in love instead of expecting them to still be the instigators?

    We women also can't have our cake and eat it too without fairness towards these poor lil men hahaha

    Cheers again!

    ** steps off soap box **

  • Why does anybody have to chase or be chase? to play the game?

    Isn't that part of the problem, why not just have truth and honesty and be who you are. Ok I know I am such a small percentage of other peoples thoughts and that it looks naive, but just be honest and tell the truth and let your feelings be known; let that be the guide. I live by that and yes I get beat up because I don't play the game... but there is a peace of knowing that you did the right it the right thing for does it help climb the you look and see the truth in the mirror..yes.. that is important, that builds self....

    Does that make any sense?


  • tarot-nick, it sure does make sense! I've refused to play the game too, and if I ever have for any reason, my head has been mucked around with unbelievably until I had to pull the pin and walk away.

    But this ... this I can't and won't walk away from. I will tell the truth, even if it means me "chasing" him by calling him myself and telling him, or whatever. God knows I've loved him for so long without being aware of it. Now I am aware, it needs to be said.

    Being honest does mean being nailed up on the cross sometimes. But at the end of the day and at the end of our lives, at least we'll be able to say that we always acted from a place of truth and honesty. There are not many who can and will be able to say that when they leave the earth plane.



  • Astra, obviously you've never been on a receiving end of some lady's undesired attention/love. In my opinion love comes in many forms, including the one when one person is doing all the loveing (no matter whether it's a man or a woman), and the other passively allows to be loved for whatever reason. Generally the reason is not a particularly healthy one, like a low self esteem and feeling that you are not entitled to chose the partner that YOU like.

  • VoplySoply

    Did you actually mean I have never been on the receiving end of some lady's DESIRED attention love? As in true love, real love, sincere love, affectionate love, authentic love, soul mate love, twin flame love, beautiful love, sweet love, tender love, that sort of thing? ... I will admit I am rather clueless about these things... trying to learn though... maybe its been there and I can't detect it? I do suspect that the females are playing a more important role than has been previously understood in the male-female love dynamic. 🙂

    Thanks for your comments!


  • No, AstraAngel, I meant exactly what I said - I don't think you've ever been on the receiving side of an UNdesired female attention, otherewise you wouldn't be encouraging women to chase men. That is - imagine that a lady falls in loves with you (genuinely and sincerely), but for one reason or another you are just not attracted to her. However, you don't want to hurt her, so there it goes - you are facing a dilemma of weather to "make" yourself fall in love with her, or to cause the inevitable pain to her by rejecting her advances. In case if you do manage to talk yourself into this relationship, there will come a point , when you'll start thinking " I'm not really attracted to her and it's her fault that we are in a relationship, as I didn't really want it, but she came too strongly for me to resist". Something along those lines. I've seen this kind of situation happening for both sides, by the way - male and female. Human beings tend to respond to attention, because it flatters their ego, it's easier than risking the rejection from someone YOU are attracted too and it in fact might be not a bad idea, if you genuinely like this person back. However, the down side of it is that if you (male or female) respond to ANY person who happens to fall in love with you, imagine the chaos and the amount of unnecessary heartbreaks ! I believe that love is a feeling , which happens mutually, when you don't feel that you have to actually chase the person. Personally I believe in mutual attraction.

  • Oh by the way, a sincere advice of a friend - please do take chances and risk the rejection from your "angel" , by showing your interest in her. Otherwise she'll never know, and she might be just as shy as you are to show it first. Women do like it when men are showing bravery, confidence and take iniciative ! Good luck to you, and in case of rejection, please don't take it personally. Every single human being on Earth (Jupiter, Sirius etc ?) has been rejected more than once in their lifetime.

  • Astra

    Voplysoply is right.Do declare your affection.And best wishes!

    Tarot nick and Moon

    Ive never played the game either but have just realized that all the heart break and betrayal may have been because of naivette and not seeing signs that are obvious to "players".

    Yes I do think its better to wait fr someone with whom u can jst be yrself

  • Suramya,

    I'm coming to realize the same about the role of naivette and not seeing the 'signs'. Perhaps what I considered special or exclusive was in fact run of the mill to another - even when it was predicated on mutual attraction and interest.

    Not our fault sometimes, how would one know if one doesn't play games.

    I suppose - nothing ventured, nothing gained. maybe we don't always gain in obvious ways.

    All the best, Astra - if you decide to take a leap of faith 🙂

  • Danceur

    Big Hug x x x

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