Broke up with a Cancer Woman, How do I get her back?

  • i duno if i will be able to help but i am a cancer and the way you said she was is the way i can be sometimes... cancers are very emotional..ive seen it in me...but cancers are very loving when they are in a relationship and if that cancer is happy in that relationship the will show love but if they are not happy they will distant themelves...but sometimes we just have are emotional times...

    if yu would like to get this women must give her some space and time to let her figure out how she has felt bout you...if she comes to relaize her feeligs bout yu she will come back not able to be sure how long that can take cuz sometimes it takes sometimes...but on da otha hand it is worth the wait if you really want her back...dont leave her alone fully if you have some kind of connections ask here and there how she is doing...just to show her you care...a girl loves to see a man cares but we dont like it constanlty and alwayss..i think if you give her a little bit of space she will come back on her own...but dont forget every so often to show her that you care

  • I agree with cancerbaby I think its okay to send her a short text or something just to let her know you are thinking about her. Whatever you do dont expect a response right away and do not discuss your feelings about the relationship. Keep it light and friendly, she will come to you when she is ready to talk about the two of you. I dont agree with sean, sorry but sounds prettty cold and unforgiving to me. I have attachments to people in my life that have hurt me and probably vice versa and even with 6 billion people in the world I cherish the loves in my life bc there is only one me and one you. Not everyone can be replaced. Maybe this girl needs some time on her own she is young. She may need to date a few jerks to see the guy that has been loving her this whole time. if she is that unforgiving as sean suggests than she is cold and you deserve someone a little warmer than that!

  • Also want to add that be careful about what you say to her dont make her feel guilty about your hurt feelings that will eally send into her shell and dont contact her too frequently either. Give her some time to grow. Work on your emotions in the meantime. if she continues ignoring you after a few more months than you dont really have a choice but to move on. Just keep things real friendly and positive. She knows that you care for her and she may need you later in life. I had a cancer bf that was in and outta my life for quite sometime and my sharp aries tounge got the best of me too. It was devestating to lose him and I know how that hurts. He had hurt me before too and I was shicked the first time he said sorry and that was followed by I just need some time that was last oct. after so many desperate attempts to communicate with him and getting short responses I finally threw in the towel. If he happens to contact me again I will only be friends because the pain was too deep for me. Best of luck with her. Being an aries can be difficult for the simple fact that we wear our hearts on our sleeves and that can leave us quite vulnerable and when we feel hurt the anger can be intense.

  • so you think i should still contact her even though she told me not to? or was that a test to see if i really care and would contact her? and lovinmylife i def do agree with us Aries' wearing our hearts on our sleeves, i wish that wasnt so. if she was remotely still interested in me wouldnt she have made it aware to me already, i mean it has been two months now since we have been broken up. Or is she still upset or confused about everything that has happened? thats the hardest part for me to figure out.

  • I am not sure how to answer some of your questions. can you send her short and sweet text? Have you prayed about this at all? What kind of feeling do you get about whats going on with her without your fragile ego clouding your judgment ? I know its hard and confusing but if you are connected your intuition should tell you something. She may not really know how she feels about you right now. she really needs some space but I see no harm in letting her know you care. You may even have to start a friendship with her from here. Like starting over because she may just not want a relationship right now. Shes only 21. I was married from 19 to 26 and I feel that I was too young and should have spent more time working on who I was and not a relationship. You are young too. I am 30 things have just begun to make sense for me. 20s are confusing and difficult at least it was for me. I feel alot more comfortable with myself now. This really can take some time. Dont expect too much from her right now. Just keep it light and simple and work on yourself in the meantime. I ve seen couples that have reunited after being apart for several yrs. You both need time to grow and yes its painful but wht you will have in the long run is a firmer foundation tha whta you have now. Just breath and stay calm. Try to give her space and let her feel that she can come to you without feeling guilty for not being there with you now. If you start having that kind of attitude it will show even if you arent saying it. Just dont expect too much right now.

  • Oh and I agree with cancerbaby, just ask her simply how are you doing? that should be enough to get a little communication going. If she doesnt respond dont get angry and text her nasty things. Just wait a few more days and try again. It might just be the wrong time. If you do get a response dont keep rambling back with your feelings and such. Just simply say back I am glad to hear you are good. I am good also. Then let it go!!! and wait. Do not try anything impulsive right now as much as you want to tell her you miss her, love her, ect you must hold back at first. Make it about her and dont let your aries impulsiveness scare her back into her shell.

  • i just feel uncomfortable sending her any messages because she told me not to. i do agree with giving her space, but your right sometimes i really want to just tell her i miss her and such, but i know that prolly wouldnt be the best thing to do. And yes I have prayed about this, im still patiently waiting for the answer. But the thing is how much space is to much space? i dont want her to completely forget about me. and by her action ie, not contacting me or talking to me, shows that she is on that road to try and forget.

  • Being a Cancer myself, as hurtful as this sounds, I would advise you to just move on. Cancers usually hang onto EVERYTHING: stuff we don't need, memories, the past, even a bad relationship will stay in our grips until we're ready to let go. When we truly love someone, we will put up with a lot, but if we are hurt, if the trust is lost and we're pushed far enough, we do let go and once we've let go, that's it. As many of the other cancers here have stated, we don't like to hurt anyone, so it may very well be that she picked the fights with you to keep from having to actually break up with you. I'd say just move on, you might be happier in a relationship where you don't have to try so hard to prove yourself.

  • you know why i want to prove myself to her or fight for her back because for the first time i found a woman that is worth fighting for.

  • You need to let her know you feel like that! Nice. I think I would appreciate if a man felt like that about me. ( :

  • how am i supposed to do that when the three times ive tried contacting her i got no response. i still havent heard from her in over two months now. Im just thinking of giving up. i havent contacted her in two months though either. so i dont know what to do.

  • Two months is not that long. If you really want to fight for this girl you are going to have to have some patience. I would try again. I have been involved with a cancer man and have had to wait months at a time to hear from him. I never gave up though and we are not together but hes at least my friend for now. Dont give up if you are that in love. You can move on and try to find some happiness in the meantime. But really sometimes relationships can take years to figure out. There are some couples that I have seen that loved each other when they were young, broke up found someone else only to find each other again yrs later. I dont know what your outcome will be but I think you are going to regret it if you dont at least try. Get out of this feeling of doom and gloom, pull it together and at least give yourself a chance. if she keeps rejecting you and you get to a point that you have reached the end then its okay to quit. But really a few months and you are ready to give up on the love of your life?

  • i dont want to give up. i just seems like there is nothing there anymore. I mean ive there was she would contact me. I doing the best as i can to move one. I just dont want to reopen the wound and just be hurt again you know. I dont want to give up on her, and your right i love her still. Not a day goes by where i dont think about her. But i just dont know where to start, when there isnt even any contact between the two of us. so to me giving up doesnt hurt as much as thinking about her you know. There is just so many things i would love to tell her, but i dont want to come off as desperate. I dont want her to come back because she pitys me, i want her to come back because she still feels for me the way i feel for her. I mean what can i really do? two months it seems like she has forgotten about me already.

  • I understand. Its hard to feel like you are the one pining away for no reason. If thats how you really feel then you are probably doing the right thing. If you set her free and she comes back to you then you know she was the right one for you, I think thats how it works anyways. I wish I had a better answer for you. Just dont give up on yourself okay? You are so young and walking around with a broken heart is not going to be very helpful for you. hang in there and feel free to talk on here anytime, thats what this forum is all about.

  • yea this forum is actually helping. Im not giving up on myself, thats the last thing i will do. Im doing better than most, i mean i havent stalked her, i havent called her, i havent looked desperate. hahaha. the hardest part is just thinking that the person who i believe is meant for me may already be with someone else. I mean thats the only logical explination. Its terrrible because here i am, I feel lonely, got a lot of pain and anger and she feels nothing. I mean right? If she was feeling lonely or painful she would contact me to talk. Since she hasnt that means that there is def someone there now catching her as she falls into the feelings of loneliness.

  • That is what I call a rebound and usually they do not work out. She may have already spent a lot of time feeling sad and hurt over the relationship and that is why she had to leave it. As women we can spend alot of time feeling pain over a relationship way before its over. You have done the right thing by giving her space. But you are not working real hard on developing yourself while you are worried about what she is doing. Are you following me? I knwo its hard to concentrate on anything else but the pain you are in over losing your girlfriend but it has been my experience that when I wanted a lover back it sure didnt happen in the middle of my grief it happened after the fact and when I was a whole and healthy person again. You need to work on being that happy guy you were before this happened because I bet thats what attrected her to you in the first place. She doesnt want to come back to a mess and have to fix your brokeness. If she is going to come back its going to be after you have cleaned up your mess. How ever she is spending her new singleness is probably being spent trying to find ways to get over you too. Work on being the great guy that you are so that she can miss you for who you are not a depressed sad version of you. She will not want to come back for that. You mentioned you reacted badly to her in the past have you done anything to change this problem about yourself? You must take steps to grow in this area so this doesnt happen again wether it be with her or another girl later in life. I think its going to be a long time and I think she will be checking in on you later on. So in the meantime learn about yourself find the things that make you happy besides having her in your life. you have to have something to offer. If you havent worked out these issues you are having she is going to come back take one look at you and be convinced she did the right thing in the first place. You cant fake this either she knows you well enough by now that you cant trick her into thinking you are this evolved man now. Do the work and see what comes of it. I hope you arent thinking I am being harsh by what I am saying to you. I am really trying to help

  • no i dont think your harsh at all. During all this people are either to harsh or just saying what I want to hear so, i really dont know who to believe. Your just being honest and thats good. I am developing myself and to tell you honestly, i am happy. The onl times where im not is when i think of her. I still feel like i have a connection with her like i did in the relationship. The only times i would ever think of her she was thinking of me. During those times she she would all of a sudden call me or i would call her. We would then just be really suprised and say "hey thats weird i was just thinking about you." haha I hope you followed that kinda confusing.

    I guess what im trying to say is i still think thats why my feelings come and go. Or at least im hoping thats it. Pretty much its just wishfully thinking i guess right? There is no more connection between the two of us. And plus how do you know that if she is with someone else thats a rebound? what if they liked each other before hand? i mean there are all sorts of possiblities and thats what i mean that giving up just seems the easiest. because when im in the state of asking the wat if questions it just hurts more.

    Whats also funny in all this is that i got rid of all her pictures and everything around me to help me stop thinking of her, but that did not help one bit. My friend suggested to burn our scrapbook that she made for me of pictures we took together over the past five years. I did it with his help and now i regret it. But the worset thing in all this is seeing her car. Not literally her car but other cars like hers.

    Whats crazy, well you may think this is crazy, but its just ironic to me actually. Her car is the most uncommon car ever. During the whole time we were together i did not see any of it on the road AT ALL, not one. And it seems now that we are not together i see it all the time. Its not like i go searching the road for it thats just insane, if do that, and ill prolly go seek help haha. For example this weekend i was parrallel parking my car. pulled up next to the car and backed into the spot. positioned my car well and i get out after i park and low and behold the car in front of me is her car. lol. your response will prolly be your looking into it to much. but im not lol i dont look for her car. haha you prolly think im crazy now huh?

  • No I dont think you are crazy at all. I know what its like to have that kind of connection with someone and feel like you are the only one missing the relationship. it just sucks. I did the sam ething too I burned all pictures and so on then felt really guilty about it later and wished I had not done that. Its funny the things people will tell you to do when you are grieving. I still think about my ex too and I am sure he also thinks of me and I do not think its crazy at all. I did the same stuff too would see his car when I never really did before and so on.Maybe us aries people grieve the same? lol I was going so insane at the time we broke up I would actually text him that I was missing him and would asked if he was missing me too. he would ignore me and it was completely hurtful. A couple of times I dreamed that he missed me and when I dreamt that usually he would call me that day. After he started talking to me again I felt relieved but still confused so I just told him one day that I still wanted him back and he said we should only be friends. My response was well if you say we are friends then I will happily accept that. Since then he calls me once in a while but I dont call him. I am dating someone else now because its been a whole year. I feel satisfied just knowing he is still in my life a little and cares. We are 30 yrs old. In the past he was in and out of my life and we never talked about this stuff. It was just as painful every time he would go. So I cant allow him to hurt me like that anymore. I still feel really connected though and that is kinda torturous. I think you will see your ex again but I really get the feeling its not going to happen for a while. You are actually dealing with this quite well as i was a total train wreck and wouldnt leave the poor guy alone the first few months after we broke up. That was the wrong way to go. I was just in so much pain I didnt know what to do with myself. I felt like my whole life had fallen apart right before my eyes. Being with him was the world to me but it wasnt reciprocated so OUCH. ( :

  • i agree with you on everything you just said. Ive dated many others before her, but she was the only one that i can truly say that i loved. I did everything for her and it just hurts that she isnt feeling the same emotions as i am. Like i said i feel many times just lonely, i mean im happy but just something is missing. honestly i think its her. no im not saying that she equates my entire happiness, im just saying that when she was around i felt that i was at my best, that she brought out the best in me. It terrible because she shows or at least claims that she isnt feeling or going through any pain, i think thats the most hurtful think at all. honestly im trying really hard not to have it consume me, it just sucks because then i just bury all my emotions inside. I dont know how you are but when i do that and it gets to full it just explodes sometimes and i dont want that to happen. Its just frustrating because here i am trying to forget about her and move on, but my feelings seems to just keep pulling me back and i have no idea why.

    Its not that i want to keep feeling this way, its just that i cant stop from feeling this way. Many of my friends are like "you are stupid for feeling this way still move on she walked away from you." But honestly its not that simple i wish that it was. If i could i would just erase everything i had with her. friends are like remember the bad things, but there were so little bad things and all the good things over shadow it all. so thats why im so confused with everything still. its been over two months and i still dont understand. I treated her like a queen. sure there were some times were we had trouble, but i never thought it was anything big.

    I think that you had a hard time dealing with it because you had contact still with your ex. i think if im still in contact with her, it would make my situation even worse. but just sometimes i just miss hearing her voice. Lol wat sucks is that i do sometimes still hear her voice, i hear her laugh and i see her smile and its so terrible seeing these images still. i just sometimes dont know what to do.

    I sometimes feel that we arent really meant to be together but if that were the case shouldnt my feelings go away too? i mean the face that the feelings still stay mean something right? or am i just again wishfully thinking? ive suffered break ups before but non have ever affected me the way this has.

  • sorry lovinmylife my roommate was using my computer and thats his name ariesmale84. he was the one that got im into this site to help me out cuz he has gotten some help in here before i guess. but that was supposed to be my response lol.

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