I'm glad to see you back doing readings... I hope you realize you help alot of people.
Just reaching out to see if I can help in any way...
Start a discussion what is life?
Can you say LOVE... expand on that thought!
You spread it by helping people, but you need it for you too. I think that’s why you went searching...its there in you... find that quiet place and it will come out.
or are you better with, here’s a slap on the back of your head...Snap out of it...hahahaha
just busting I know you can take it...
If you need anything let me know
yeah let's do that discussion! I love your point of view.
It looks like you are helping a lot of people too, that is awesome, thank you for all of that effort, you will be super blessed from it I know. Yes, helping people is it... and you are so right , love is inside of each of us all along. It isn't really "out there". I think that could underlie so much of our struggles in life, we think we are searching for this or that, a job, answers to a question, a person, a hobby (my latest is getting back to RC helicopters haha)... when all along the search is love... what makes us feel the love inside ...
thanks for reaching out! I am happy to (try) to help you in anything too, or offer my thoughts... they can be weird though, so watch it haha...
Lets open Pandora’s box....we can go on so many tangents...
Any one can join in...share thoughts.. and weird is fun....
So my building block is Love... all of the things I have been thru... and searched for...read.. for me always brings me back to that. Love thy self is one of them too. I point to your helicopters when your flying them I bet your focus is on the helicopter, you brain slows down and all the everyday stuff goes away and its quiet, your focus is on what you are doing and not everything else... That’s your quiet spot... you tap into that and learn to let it spread...but then the head gets back in the way...and everything piles back on. The clutter we make living life. I know you missed posting because you like to give back...I like to think I'm helping others too...two cents only brings you so far these days...but I'm at a point where I gain from giving and this gives me a broader circle to reach from.. It's not easy...because I have all these thoughts and ideas and I don't always use them myself... I get down...why me... what choices did I make...all that good stuff, but when I can slow my brain down...I ground myself back and try to start over. Go back to that well take a sip...and start walking again...
how’s that for installment one...
Yes, that is great... I totally agree, love is a beautiful calming energy, and it starts with numero uno - ourselves. We can't really love another properly when we are still trying to love ourselves.
The mind.... yeah it gets in the way a lot. The mind is fun as far as it goes, however there is a threshold where it can't proceed, that place love alone can take you.
We are all really on the same path, loving ourselves... and then one another... we think happiness is a person, a thing... a hobby... right now I think happiness is a nice RC helicopter... actually, I think at this time happiness IS a helicopter! (Probably an Align Trex 600 electric 54" rotor span... or maybe a nitro version, you get longer flight times with fuel over electric. )
Okay Nick I don't want to hijack the thread into a heli discussion haha...
Here's one for you, Job wise I owned a business once and put countless hours in. I made ok money but satisfaction wise it was great. I was young and had a wife and kid and it was a seasonal business. Putting in over 12 hours a day in most cases 6 days a week what did i miss out on. I was doing my job satisfied and providing, but missing out on my daughter’s life...by the time I would get home 9pm she was ready to bed... I would keep her up and we got into a routine... because come dec to feb...I was home most of the time. Do you work climb the ladder put in all the extra hours and miss out on your family... or take a different job be around more...but suffer because now you can’t afford...what you think you need... What becomes more important...
I can relate, the last several years especially I was working a regular job in advertising and also trying to work into fine art so sorta two jobs... so my focus was always in the work it seemed. Ugh, I wish I could have handled it better. There are a lot of things I would have done differently with my kids looking back. So, I don't look back!
It does seem especially difficult today to connect with your kids, so much racket and e-everything... a dad can feel drowned in a sea of other voices. I always felt somewhat marginalized in the family as a result, my kids are 18, 16 and 14 so I try to be a dad still... Nick you are really going to lay a guilt trip on me! I am ashamed of how things turned out here... there are about a million things that were screwed up in this home I can't go there with you... I try to see the positive in it all though... very difficult...
You know that wasn't my intention... You can't look back, but always open new doors.
Find ways to communicate, they don't stop needing you.
I will never pry or judge... I know there is hurt there..
My daughter is now 20 and my other is 16... we enter a new phase... I try and be creative finding new ways to interact..part of it is giving space...sometimes shaking my head but holding my tongue. Other times leading by example silently...or just a text saying Hey... (god forbid you actually talk on a phone) Less easy to do...when the family is unstable...and the couch is your friend... which I know you have been thru too...so all I can say is think of a new way... even if the other side is poisoning the apple...you may not be able to eat without getting sick...like that one?....but open up the apple and plant new seeds, watch it grow...
ok change the subject....
Okay on all the family stuff... I probably should have stayed single my whole life.
Back to the Tarot... I have been working through the more philosophical implications of this thing. Do you ponder that sort of thing. It is more than "readings" about which guy loves me or not... I think it is either an extraterrestrial technology, some sort of angelic toy perhaps.
It seems to be a tool to help deconstruct reality completely. By counteracting (neutralizing) the associations made from the time of birth. Dissolving the basic construct that the personality has made of existence, thereby taking you into a realm of pure energy (love I suppose) without any of the "rulesets" cobbled together over the course of life.
When you look at the name even, it is TORA (the law) backwards... so it "unwinds" reality of the person backwards. The Tora is the "law" of the mind that we assemble from birth. And eventually, for every person, the law eventually has to be ripped apart, which can be looked at as either death or insanity - or rebirth. Basically it is a way to become "born again"... so that we can return to a child like innocence without all of the rulesets (laws) beating us over the head... all that does is generate questions. There should really be no questions in life.
Other than, how can I scrape together enough money to buy an RC helicopter package.
I just burned out the one battery I had for my little Blade CX2 so now I am have to replace that... bummer... lesson learned, do NOT fly lithium polymer batteries outside in 19 degree weather.
"Here are some of the messages from the extraterrestrials...
According to my research, this planet is about to be completely taken over by beings from beyond, who will vanquish the *********s, and leads us all into love and life that actually is sane and considerate and kind toward one another. I realize that is extremely hard to comprehend, however it is a possibility. Every day... I pray that aliens would land and take over everything... I do not want to be here any more... like this. I want to leave, so badly.... I want to leave more than anything in the world. I want to leave and see this planet recede in a saucer's rear view mirror... and cry... forever."
There, that is a story I am working on called, "The Love and Life of a Tarot Reader"... I am pretty sure I am insane... I am not a really happy guy these days... I have moments of happiness when I can fly a heli... the rest of the time I want to go... in spite of all of the nice words from above. I give readings, and cry... I paint and cry.... I don't know what happened...
I want to leave. Today. I think I am going to start walking... see what happens. Ugh.
Another message from the ET's... this one says "Eat at Joe's" ...
That's a really great burger joint on Signi 2 Reticuli.
This one says
"I love you so very much, and I miss you... I am so sorry about everything... I did not mean to hurt you, I thought you were the most beautiful girl... lady!... in the whole wide world.
If I could, I would build a cathedral in your honor. I would create suns in your name. I would bring every angel your way just to say hi.
You will always be the loveliest, most gorgeous person to me... I would have painted you forever...
You are heaven to me."
Okay Nick, that was my nutty ET weirdness for the day...
I am a hopeless romantic...
Seriously though, the Tarot does open us up to some very deep and mysterious places. I could be tapping into these realms and simply have no way to process what I feel or see. So it comes out in these sometimes very emotional ways. I can go from crying one moment and feeling like the world is going to (or needs to!) explode... and the next I am happy as can be going with the flow. I haven;t figured it out.
I am not really sure I should be giving readings any more. because I am such a romantic, and float off into the skies... and people seem pretty clueless about that so I don't know that it really helps. I will probably just try to get back to art and "normal" things that I can do with my hands again. That is the thing about toy helicopters, they are REAL and tangible, not all floaty-flighhty like this occult and tarot stuff... I am a pretty earthy guy, I never really dreamed of being a "tarot reader" I only wanted to paint, be an artist or something... it was only after that fell apart for me that I went into this realm to try and get answers. I don't know that there are any answers.
You would say "love" is the answer. Love for me is something I can touch. Feel. Love without touch is a "dream" of love, and I can't relate to it any more. Anyway, thanks for listening.
You can be my psychoanalyst!
Sorry I went to couch...and feel asleep...sleeping on the job. hahaha
I'll tackle bits at a time, I'll start from the top and work my way down...so many thoughts hit me at once and went on different tangents.
The being single thing, I can relate with you. I have turned into a hermit and not afraid to say it agrees with me. I was never one to be part of a big crowd, I was on peripheral but had a few close friends that different parts of me went in different directions. So when they would get together no one really got along. They were all nice but different. I spent a lot of time analyzing myself. To see why I make decisions the way I do… what influenced me…what chains I was breaking…because I inherited my father’s loneness… he should never have been married twice…hahaaha…I looked at what I needed to grow so I could be a better person and that goes against what I like to have is solitude. At times it is very hard to fight… but I was given my girls..and I would suck up anything not to be parted. Like I said that doesn’t mean I have to see them every sec…but a text…hey…lets them know in our language that I love them. That is where Love is the grounding…it’s very aggravating…hurtful… loving…all things wrapped up together. I needed that to grow… It’s easy to hide…hard to force yourself not too.
I think the cards are a tool, we are able to tap into (ok this part get sketchy) an essence. The best way I can describe it as some of the books I have read. I like to picture it as a river that is constantly flowing but past, present, future is all mixed up in the flow. We are able to tap into this and feel the possibilities of the person we are reading. Anyone can pick up a tool (the cards) and there will be people who are better skilled at using it, like master craftsmen. So we are able to tap in… I know I do readings different…I think that are because I just trusted my feeling… I was shown by my brother…but the instruction was just keep doing it.. and I guess that is the only way. So I know I tap in, I just trust myself and I pick up on feelings. I mentally ask how I can pick up on a false name and tap into the river and get the right information… So logic is not a valid indicator.. is it faith? extraterrestrial technology? My mind tends to go to an essence… a dimension that consciously we can tap into without knowing how. So we use the tool to tap in…everyone has a special way or art to do it... plus it is a part of you which is why I do feelings well. For every action we take there is a reaction…and choices are boundless…unfortunately we don’t always chose what is best for us….
Book wise, plot:
I read all kinds of stuff, what's going to hook me...
how did you come about the language...(to me your cards look like something from basic programming I used to do) is it an ancient language that was blended into tarot... you were doing research and you came across a manuscript....a pictograph type of language...Egyptian, Chinese....
something that is tangible...but obscure....something possible...but out there
Whither or not we understand how a gift works you have one...look back in the threads when you weren't reading... Just a mention of your name exploded the threads again..
It's ok to be a romantic..its ok to tap those feeling..
I know after some readings I get edgy or very sad... I get how they are feeling at some level and I am so different...I don't know how they do it...the ups and downs.. the swings, because I try always to be the calm one... Yes I get anguish...mad...the poor why me's.... but if you can't calm your brain... too much stuff gets in the way to then plan things out, slow things down...which helps you react quicker and clearer.
Funny you mention " not all floaty-flighhty like this occult and tarot stuff... " I almost never start doing readings...Some people take things to the extreme, because of that feeling I backed away from it...wow they must all be like that... People look at you, you can do that...its the association, but I am me... I do readings a little different...because I am me...I am not flighty...my thoughts are different...laugh at my own jokes... make people smile... or my voices...hahahaha but I am not like everyone else...and I love to give, it makes me happy. I'm not bless with the money gene..so I give what I can other ways...if I help one person its worth it...if I can help someone help themselves...they will help someone else...
Help pass the Love....
Yes, you hit the nail on the head... we each have our own way with the Tarot (or life and love in general). You mentioned your father, I had a pretty rough childhood my dad had a lot of troubles, he did the best he could though, I have come to love him more over my life, though he has been passed on now for over 40 years... I will never forget coming home from school that day and being told, "Hey, guess what? Your dad just got killed today on his motorcycle!"
Oh well, life is up and down... that is the thing with readings... I always come back to believing ANYthing is possible... someone asks me what does this mean, I will tell them it means you are going to meet the love of your life today.
Sure, why not. Today, you will find heaven open... today... you will cry and laugh so hard the Earth will melt away... today... you will see the reason for everything, and it won't even matter. Today... you will find her... and be a hermit... and win the lottery... and take that first step into the wild blue yonder.
Actually, I am just that today... I am able to buy another battery for my heli after I cooked the first one.
It's the journey... not the destinations that are important. Sometimes like today I just wanted to close my eyes...and wish the next destination. So I pulled myself out did some breathing and focusing...calmed down enough to leave the anger behind and tried again.
So you have ask if you’re not on the road you want to meet your goal.. What crossroad are you looking for...it's never too late...trick is having the courage to do it.
yes the journey is the thing. Actually that is where we focus in our moments and start looking at the nice things always around. It can be easy to get swept up into the destinations, and then the present is not experienced as much as we are striving for some "destination". So yeah, we calm down, realize where we are at is just fine. I try to do that anyway.
What crossroads am I looking for? Right now the one with a hobby shop, or Harley Davidson dealership.