Just broke up with boyfriend. I'm not sure what to do. PLEASE HELP



  • I've been with my boyfriend for eight months now. And recently he's seemed to be distancing himself from me. He is a Libra, with Scorpio Rising, and a Cancer moon, so I am quite used to him needing alone time for himself.

    However, he also has severe depression and bipolar disorder, so today I wanted to get to the bottom of things. I asked him what was going on and why he had been avoiding me. I asked if he still liked me and he said. "I don't have feelings for anything."

    Which is a very typical, dramatic response from him.

    However we started talking more, and I decided that I needed to quit being afraid and just talk to him about a couple of very small issues we'd been having. He responded by saying that we never talked about things he liked to talk about and that I was "pretending" to be interested in him.

    I was very offended and explained to him that sometimes he made me insecure because he is quite sarcastic, and sometimes offended me, but I had a hard time being mad at him.

    He responded by saying "Why don't you go find someone else thing, since everything I do is obviously wrong."

    We talked for several more hours and we talked about our issues with one another. I explained that our two main issues were my mild insecurity and his desire to talk about other things. I told him that these were not big issues and we could fix them if we worked together and talked more.

    His response? "Sorry, let's not."

    I just don't understand, just a two weeks ago he told me I was the only person he cared about more than anything and he owed so much to me.

    Also I really love him quite a bit, yet strangely, I don't feel very upset about this. Can anyone please offer insight?



  • Sweetheart,

    When someone sinks into a clinical depression - especially someone who has been diagnosed as bipolar - they cannot see anything other than the black hole they are in. So please do not take what he said personally. He was not in a place to be able to discuss the issues you wanted to air out. He needs to either be on or commit to taking his medication. Until he does, you will not be able to build a solid foundation for a relationship. Right now this is about his issues - ones you cannot fix by loving him enough. He needs a doctor and meds. When the current cycle he is on brings him back up to a normal level (and then eventually a manic level) he will come back to you but you must be strong and tell him then that he needs to get himself balanced through the medication that the doctor will provide (or that has been provided and he is not taking). This is not about you, so once again do not take it personally. It takes an extremely strong person to be in this type of a relationship so any insecurities you have will just fester and grow. Love yourself enough to tell him that he needs to take responsibility for his health.

    Blessings,

    Watergirl



  • Thank you, watergirl for the kind response. He and I had been friends for almost a year before we started dating so I was fully prepared to deal with this kind of thing.

    However, this is the first time he has ever treated me in such a way. He's been on medication for both insomnia and depression and was doing well for quite some time.

    It probably sounds silly, but I have a feeling a lot of this has to do with jealousy. Recently, I changed my routine a little bit, and he's been a little jealous of super small things that used to not bother him, such as me having a movie night with friends.

    I also recently got a dog, and I could tell that he was really not happy with the whole prospect.



  • Look, not trying to butt in, but if the guy is jealous of your dog, he has more serious problems than depression and insomnia.