WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM?



  • I am curious. Last week, I was told that my ex husband (who I've been away from for three years) asked my (ex) mother in law to ask ME to get out of town. My mother in law apparently declined, saying she wouldn't ask the mother of her grandchild to get out of town, and if he/they had so much trouble with me being here, why didn't they leave.

    I'm wondering if this has come from my ex husband only, or has his fiancee had a say in this, and how much influence have they had on my daughter? I'd also like to have some idea of what I may be up against, if anything other than empty words. I know what my ex husband can be like all too well, which is why I'm where I am.

    I'm not letting this affect me, but simply want to know why he/they have such a problem with me being in the same town as them when I've caused them absolutely no grief whatsoever. I also find it ironic that this has come about since I've become single again, through no fault of my own.

    Any insight?

    Thanks in advance!

    Cheers

    Moon50

    xoxoxoxoxo



  • Honey, everyone who splits on unresolved terms wishes the other would disapear. You have a child together! I'm sure your daughter threatens him whenever she's angry with him or her that she will go live with you. And I would be careful with the x motherinlaw--she means well but is stiring up unessassary drama for you--specialy at Christmas. You and your x ended it for a reason and it needs to stay ended. When your daughter visits you again--she will solve this for you and you will get the picture. For now--just put it out of your mind and move away from old war habits with him. It no longer matters what he thinks. I'm assuming he wishes they could move away but surely the custody agreement prohibits that. Preserve your relationship with your daughter. No arguing or bad talk in front of her. Let her come to you if she wants to talk. Avoid putting her in the middle and you will be fine. I'm only on here once a day one post so if I do not answer I'm just very busy. Keep your thoughts positive and drama free! PS--your motherinlaw does not like his fiance! But do not get sucked into all that. Enjoy your choice to move on and stay close to your daughter. Keep the connection on going with her--either text or send cards.and meaningful things.



  • Thanks for this Blmoon. I was just a big gobsmacked to hear of this, but my initial thought was that he needs to get over himself! My mother in law is not the one who told me of this either; I heard it from one of the nurses where I work, who had worked with her for a few night shifts. I also don't want to get sucked (back) into the drama's of that family, because I was in the middle of it for the better part of 25 years. I enjoy the peace of not wrangling with them anymore.

    Having said that, I am very fond of my mother in law. She's no picnic, and is often made the meat in the sandwich between my ex and his sister, but I don't think she means any harm really. When I talked to her on the phone last week (after I found out about this other snippet the subject of this thread) she never mentioned his "bid" to get me out of town. Rather, she simply told me to ignore him, that he was acting like a selfish child and echoed what I'd said: that he needs to get over himself, get over IT and get on with it.

    He wanted my daughter all to himself, and he got that. But can't deal with her properly. She's also no picnic my girl, but is worth every bit of heartache either of us suffer as parents. I do text her, and send her things on facebook. I try to keep in her life any way I can. I sometimes creep up there to her father's house when he's at work and sit with her for a little while.

    My mother in law did suggest to him that if he wanted ME out of town, why on earth didn't he consider moving away? Our daughter goes to Uni next year anyway, so he can go wherever he wants.

    I choose to stay here because I love the place.

    People can't help themselves sometimes, can they? Where they find the energy for all this drama is beyond me! I'm hard pressed to have the energy to keep working, keep struggling and keep up with the work around my farm!!

    Ah well. Each to their own I say.

    Have a peaceful, meaningful Christmas and a prosperous New Year! And take care 🙂

    Cheers