Hi Astra, appreciate for your help.
Okay, I read over that last reply of yours and my first thought was - yipes! - he is married and I am not sure I want to step into that discussion. However I will share some general principles that I think are helpful, at least it has helped me.
I always, always try to remember that we are all connected at some level. One family, all of us. So these relationship situations are sorta like little scenarios that are created that we get to work through and discover something very important for our life. So even though on the outside nothing may not be happening with him, you are STILL sharing some sort of love connection if you are still feeling things for him, and the thought of him blesses you in spite of what he has done, said, or not said.
And that transcends whatever is going on in his marriage. It is like you are on a different "dimension" with him where the marriage doesn't matter. I know that sounds weird, of course it matters that he is married to someone! The thing is, I am convinced he really cares about you, and is hoping hoping you will be patient and let time and life bring you together,
However, I can't predict that. That is all in the Universe's hands. I do know that it can't hurt to love another person even though you can't be with them. Love is infinite in the Universe and so you can't go wrong thinking of him in nice ways and holding him up in prayer that sort of thing. What I would not do were it me, is try to take action to force him to communicate, That will only send him deeper into isolation. The point right now for the two of you (I am theorizing here) is to love each other even though there is nothing to hang on to. How do you do that?
The way its always been done. By faith. So you could be learning about faith and following your heart's feelings for him even though he aint around physically. I think he IS around you though, closer than you know. I have a similar situation with someone from my past and I love this person deeply, however we are not together or anything. That is not the phase right now. Will it ever change? I dunno. I can't make anything happen, I can only love her in spirit, and let myself kinda float up into another layer or level of reality with her.
Most people I don't think realize the true nature of relationship, it really goes far beyond the physical. OUr love for one another is not affected by the material side, the physical. We can hold each other regardless and carry this secret kind of love forward.
This may sound too out there for you, and I understand. In any case, you can't go wrong being patient and not rocking the boat. People seldom make mistakes doing nothing, its when we try to make things happen that sets things in motion that we later regret. Boy, I learned that lesson the hard way. I am a cap and that sign is determined. It can be rough having to let go of someone physically that you feel this deep closeness with, and yet - that is the lesson in a nutshell. Letting go, and deepening a spiritual connection with that person.
That is the true Lovers card in the Tarot I think, this heavenly love that is not founded on the physical.
Anyway, I hope that made some sense. I prayed for you earlier today. I know things will work their way out for you pinkrose. Your heart is in the right place. He has a lot he could be dealing with in his marriage and its probably best to let that be handled as the Universe sees best.
Dear Astra, thanks for your words. Due to his status, that is why I never want to get physical at this stage. I am just affected by the fact that we can't even communicate as normal friends. His coldness really hurt me a lot, especially when he is very friendly and chatty to others. I feel as though I have been kicked out from his world totally. You do really feel he still loves me and cares a lot for me currently? And it's not lust or about sexual conquest and etc? I'm so sorry astra if knowing his status makes you feel uncomfortable to offer advices.
It's okay, I don't mind knowing more about his status, its just when I know we are dealing with a triangle relationship situation AND a marriage is on the line, that is filled with issues, moral concerns, ethics, you name it... and for a guy that can be a nightmare.
Although this is the "Love and relationship" forum, I am now going to draw cards anyway (maybe we should have kept this on the tarot forum after all!). That's okay this keeps it sorta separate from the rest of the readings. I really want to help you work through this if you feel you need that.
I just drew some more cards, and its the same story. Hierophant on his side again and I think that is YOU and marriage, not his present marriage.
Here are the cards overall and then I will share more...
This is a 10 card spread, 5 cards you 5 cards him.
Situation: What is going on with him and how does he really feel about you, and WHY is he now silent?
Thoughts about him: Knight of cups Shows you still thinking about him a lot and it is all emotional.
Heart: 5 of Pentacles - you are changing in your view about the physical aspect of your relationship - you are processing what I shared in the earlier message about spiritual relationships.
Path: 3 of Pentacles - you are on a very practical and work centered path, it is stable and that is working well. You would like to see your path and his "work out" however that is presently out of your hands.
Hand toward him: Death. you REALLY want to talk to him about this, there is some pain, emotional hurt, you are concerned that the relationship is dying or is fading and that has you really wanting to talk to him before it all goes away.
Hand away from him: 7 of Swords. You are trying to think of ways to contact him, should you send the messages, etc... I wouldn't.
Thoughts about you: Wheel. His head is in a tempest right now about you and life in general this poor guy needs a break.
Heart toward you: Page of Cups - YES he really cares about you and I do not see this as a physical se xual thing with him. Not to disagree with your other reader, however this page in this position is VERY innocent and pure love, tender, this guy has a heart of gold he is just in a troubling situation.
His path: Knight of Sword. He is thinking a lot now, about life and his place in relationships. His path is affected by these thoughts, so he could be dealing with emotional responses to the anxiety.
His hand toward you: Hierophant. Higher love, tradition, church, marriage, calm and steady of thought and trying to reach up to the higher principles in the midst of this situation. And encouraging you to do the same.
His hand away from you: Justice. Uh oh, see this shows him really dealing with the moral and ethics of marriage, it is a committment after all and you don't just walk away from that and into someone else's life like that. Justice is S-L-O-W energies of deep reflection and concerns, trying to weigh out life predicaments in terms of the best, highest responses.
So that tells the story all over again and confirms everything I have said thus far in your readings about this matter. He is avoiding you because of JUSTICE issues connected to marriage along with the hierophant which also has a strong marriage/commitment energy.
His hearts is with you, its just that he has the rest of life to figure out and he CAN'T talk to you right now until HE figures it out on his own. There is not a thing you can do to change that you are going to have to relax your hold on the situation as painful as it is, and trust that the Universe will evolve this situation into what ever it is supposed to be.
I cannot say to you how this will turn out I am not that kind of a reader. I don't pretend to know the future although sometimes I try using the cards. I prefer to simply look at this present moment and decode what Spirit seems to be saying NOW. This moment is all we have, the past is gone and the future doesn't exist. The future is in the hands of Heaven not men. So your only choice is to TRUST that your life is still perfectly on path and that the way you are handling yourself here is a part of your life story and path.
How does that sound? Probably didn't give you a lot of encouragment did I? Sri... I can only share what I see in this moment.
If I add up all the cards in numerology, we see the same message repeated in numbers...
7 wands = dreamy, pondering path energy - not a lot of movement
11 cups = 1+1 = 2 = emotional balance and tenderness at a basic level (I still say he does care about you he just needs to be ALONE and left alone until he can figure it out. You will have to be patient and wait or start looking for someone else if you are really wanting a relationship now. However he is not a bad guy, and I don't think he is trying to hurt you or anything like that.
23 swords = 2+3=5 = thoughts changing, adjusting, not pleasant to deal with.
16 pentacles = 1+6=7 pentacles = a pause of physical path, so nothing is happening physically.
I think the reason the Hierophant keeps showing is that he would love to be in a marriage type situation with you, its just that he can't exactly make that happen in a split instant. And he has serious issues to contend with. He is not a cad, this is not about lust and all that. (Guys get tagged with that a lot, that all we care about is s e x, and I do not think that is fair, I am a guy and it is insulting. Guys are just as much about tenderness and sincere love as the ladies).
Can you love him without seeing him is what it comes down to. And wait. Otherwise I am sure there are a ton of other guys in your area that would LOVE to have a relationship with you. You have choices!
Hope that helps. I'll keep an eye on this thread and will help any way I can...
Love and blessings
I think the Hierophant is him wishing he could have been in a relationship/marriage with YOU instead of the present situation. However it is what it is and he has to sort it out alone. He can't dialogue with you until he puts closure on it, or figures out what is best.
thank you so much astra.
Yes i am trying to change my view on this relationship by adapting what you have said earlier. I really hope to be able to find peace within myself in this situation. I am still very much in love with him currently and i certainly trying hard to wait patiently as well. yes there are choices around, but i am not someone who will get into a relationship just for the sake of wanting to be in a relationship. Perhaps i am equally stubborn as well. despite going through ups and downs in this relationship, i still have that little hope and faith in me that he will comes around one day.
i am really trying hard to relax myself from all these as well. currently looking at some hobbies and voluntary works to keep myself occupied. i want to get back to my positive and happy self. not only for myself, but for him as well. i really hate the tension we are having right now and i know he doesn't like the emotional me. And i believe he will feel less pressured if he knows i am happy and coping well without him around physically.
You are very welcome.
King of Swords and the 5 of cups. He is going through emotional adjusting... so he probably wouldn't be real good company for you right now anyway. You are on the right path, keep the faith and keep love for him strong, no matter what. We should always love no matter what.
dear astra, i have been missing him so much today. was pretty fine yesterday but today just feel all emotional over him again. all the memories keep running back as if it just happened a few days ago.
Yeah I know the feeling.
You are developing in your love concept I believe is what is happening, so you will remember things from the past to help you continue your growth. I know it is not exactly pleasant when the memories come back like they do, however you can keep your path steady even with that. Again, my sense is to keep the faith and as long as you feel love for him, then embrace how you feel and pray about it (you can talk to him in the Spirit, that is one way to vent these feelings.) Pretend he is right there with you and talk to him, share your feelings... I know it sounds kinda weird however we are ALL connected in the spirit (source of life) so when you do that you are releasing nice things into the air and it can only turn out nice for you.
The mistake people make (don't ask how I know this), is when you get those rush of emotions and memories and you let that dictate some actions and then you can drive him further away without meaning to. The best response is do nothing and wait, stay in touch with him invisibly, communicate with him telepathically and you will be fine. Keep wishing for something nice to happen and it will. Spirit knows your heart so you can't go wrong by remaining calm and love him from a distance for now (*although he is actually with you in Spirit where there is no distance).
but will it works if i am only the one doing this and he is not helping things at his side. can things still turn out nice? i always have the fear that we will get drifted or pulled away due to lack of communication.that's why i always do silly things when i get really emotional (yes i am guilty of the mistake you mentioned above).
I have not been contacting him for more than a week. It's really not easy to have faith that he will always be there when there is no physical communication. I really hope to talk to him and show him concerns but I know it might make him feel more stressed up. Is he still struggling emotionally now? Christmas is coming soon. It's such a happy festive period. Really hope he will feel better towards me during this full of hopes and blessings season. Hope you will be happy too.
I really hope you are doing good and fine. I am really thankful for your help all these while and I really do hope you will be happy always. No matter what, just be happy and happy and happy okay?