More Friday fun
Why does this always happen on Fridays?
Ron text me today saying he will only send me $500 this month and next month because he has to get a lawyer and can't afford to continue to pay me the agreed upon amount anymore.
He wants to drop my payment another large amount and he wants to get half my house again.
I called him and tried toexplain that I can not live on that, and he said maybe we should refinance the house again, I said that is what got us in this mess in the first place
He truly believes he is going to walk out of the court paying me next to nothing and living large with her.
I am amazed that he is that cold and can't see his reponsibility to me anymore.
I am now finally at the stage where he means nothing to me, I had a dream 2 nights ago that he came home and I let him and it made me wake up in panic.
My heart knows we want nothing to do with him again.
Friday's? For him it means you are less likely to call your lawyer or consult as everything is closed by Friday and he hopes to deal with you and you ALONE. Don't let this full moon crazy ruffle you as this divorce was out of his hands long time ago and I told you that he would likely not comply about the money but honestly, it is a court ordered agreement and he's going to have a very hard time proving hardship with his financial records. I also told you he would first try going without a lawyer confident and cocky that he had it under control but delusions lke that must burst and I told you as well he would scrabele to get a lawyer but refuse to have to pay--he wants you to pay. He hopes you will get riled enough on Friday to call him and he wants to put fear and pity into your head--he wants your heart back. He wants to shake you up all weekend. You should have not called him--don't do that again! He should be talking to your lawyer. Nancy , see through his intentions to get himself baclk in the game and dealing just with you. Let him deal with the lawyer and court. He has a mental illness that gives him delusional ideas of granduer and power. He lives a lifestyl that is not real. He has been reckless with his finances and your security and the house is yours. It also happens on Fridays because you lose faith a lot and Spirit gave you that prediction to validate that you ARE guided and not alone. I hope he felt the detachment in your voice as he's still in denial you have changed. He knows YOU are the only way out--he knows--he had legal advice but was too full of himself to come up with a huge retainer and not get what he wants. He only wants to pay a big amount to get what he wants and you are right he would have you get nothing. Nancy, he's grasping desperately for a way out and hoping it is your big heart and your fear. Monday, e-mail or call your lawyer with this info and let them handle it. The court has a lot of power to trace his money and he already signed that away so any attempts to hide assests now is not going fly. He's just in big denial and sees you as the old Nancy he dealt with and is still holding out that you will cave under his manipulation. If he does not pay he is in contempt of court and he has to have a lawyer as he can not stand before the judge with a story--law doesn't work like that. To lower the money HE would have to aply for a downsize of payments and he has to go through the system first and to apply for less he must fill out another financial afidavid and this would all take months. Where as if your lawyer files contempt of the agreement he will lose as the judge only enforces the agreement and decides if he broke it. Depending on the state you live in the judge can put him in jail for that and take away his driver's liscense. So let your lawyer deal with this---and next time he texts you THREATS just text him back you have forwarded his mesage to your lawyer. He wishes to refinance the house--get his chunk then stick you with the payments. Nancy you need this house--its the only security you have and unless it is already over mortgaged don't be bullied.He knows your weakness is WORRY. He does not worry enough and you fall apart. Do not let him do this to you--say it outloud --He is a bully and full of hot air and erase Friday's threats. Bake something--make something--go out with loved ones and enjoy life. Use these Friday bombs as a challange to build your happy resolve and be in charge of YOU. And do not reveal your fear, he is searching for that one thing that will twist your resolve to stick this out until the end. Talk to your lawyer about the threat to not comply with support and deal with that immediatly so he knows it will back fire and cost him. The cheapest lawyer he has found who even comes close to promising him something wants a ten thousand dollar down payment. It's very likely he will in the end be paying your legal fees as well. Expect a lot of pressure from him for awhile as time runs out and he has no where to hide anymore. Spirit says you will have very good news for Christmas. BLESSINGS!
Well so much has happened. I took my mom and sister to Reno for Pams birthday, we had a blast and it was good to get away for a couple of days.
I even won some money, which was great because he really did only give me $500 this month and no until the 11th.
My lawyer says he is in contemt because that is lower than the support order, so she will address this on Friday.
I go to the office on Tuesday to finish all the paperwork and sign some things and then Friday we go before the judge and ask for a trial and hopefully get a new temperary order for support.
I don't even know if Ron will show up or what to expect, but I will be there anbd I will be strong.
You are strong!! And congrats on the winnings. Don't you love when it comes at a good time? Enjoying yourself is exactly what brings good your way. Ron has not a clue and it is like I said, he is in contempt and to even consider a lower payment has to go through a proccess outside the court first then be entered in the court then the judge can enforce it. That's really all the power the judge has is to enforce the judgement. Even if he shows up and tells the judge a long tale of wo the judge has no authority to decide. Ron would have had to have filed a new financial afidavid withe the angency in your state and if he had done that you would know because for him to be re evaluated means you as well would have been required to fill out your financial afidavid. When the judge finds him in contemp he can choose on giving him a deadline to catch up or he can just hand down the consequences of the state law. In most states he can go to jail immediatly, lose his driver's licence and pay court costs for the contempt hearing. This is all the judge has power to do--not give Ron a break on his child support. Truth is Ron just plain never had a plan for any of this happening--as Ron has always done what Ron is going to do. Right now he is still scrambling for a cheap lawyer! But his time is running out and if he shops desperate enough he will find a cheap lawyer who will tell him what he wants to hear and take his money but you are too far ahead of him and your lawyer is very good.. The judge could tack on any arears to future payments. If he does not show up the judge will not be nice with him--judges hate no shows and tend to hand down the full consequiences. I still get that Christmas will be good for you so maybe it is a fat arears check or and he signs the paperwork no trial. I think Friday's outcome will be the reality check he needs. He has not fully accepted that you are no longer his "piece of cake Nancy". Happy new moon! BLESSINGS! (Battleship Nancy : )
Wow I am beginning to fear fridays, as something always happens and I need to be able to just relax and take care of things.
Yesterdaty of course was our court hearing, My lawyer and I got there early and took sests in the front row.
Every time a man entered she would ask me is that him. I was sure as it got later he wasn't coming and then in he walked, and tried to sit next to me, but thankfully someone had put there things there to save the seat.
He looked so bad, so old and so unlike the vibrante man I knew.
The judge called our case and we took seats at the podium and she asked what was up, my lawyer told her that we were asking for temperary support due to the fact that I work full time and have been getting support until now and the real trial won't be for months.
The judge said okay I will call you back in a while, and the baliff came over and sugestede we go out in the hall and try to at least talk about an amount.
I went to the bathroom and when I came out Ron had agreed to keep paying what he has been paying, but not this month.
He says he only has $80 in his bank account.
I was suprised he agreed to keep paying without a judgement, but I got the feeling he coudn't look at me and say no to it, it was strange.
When we went back in she called us up again and we told her about the agreement until trial and she asked what the trial was about.
WE told her Ron want to support me for only a few years, and the judge took her glasses off, looked straight at Ron and said I will never put an end daste on support for this long of a marriage., Wow that was the main thing he was fighting me on.
Then my lawyer told her about the stocks he sold and spent and that I live a very simple life with my kids, while he burns throught all the money.
She told him it is a sheame as it is the law that he can't touch it, that the last judge hadn'
t ordered it or she would hold him in contemt, but as it stands he is responsible to replace it.
He told her he wants half the house and half my pension, so we will be having a trail, but I get a good feeling about this judge and how she works.
I felt great when it was over and took a friend out to lunch, but later that night I had apanic attack again. This all hurts so much, seeing what he has become, when he was everything to me for so long, I do miss the old Ron, but this one is so sad...
NANCY--I got goose bumps of truth. Your post reads EXACTLY like my earlier readings. I am so glad the judge gave it to him straight and did you that favour. He did not look at all like that imaginerary happy living it up guy you cried over does he? Remember this for future times when you choose to see a reality that is not kind to YOU. When he had both worlds and you--he actualy lived off of your energy. But it would have eventualy killed you early and thats why it was time. You can't save him only yourself--you have a future--you will be a happy grandmother some day! He is his own victim and you chose not join in. It is tradjic. The wild spending recless s exlife are all textbook symptoms of mental illness--particularly bi-polar. And he could have others as well as many times bi-polar comes with other disorders--ADHD--narscistic disorder--etc. Do not get suckedin to his rock bottom. You two do have a tie--and you are an empath---just reliving his state will send your energy to him. You lived through your rock bottom--you saved yourself--you sought help! He can do the same. He will be given an opportunity. Through some health related event. Do not dread fridays---spirit was so generouse to give you faith! You are in the home stretch and starting to wear out and loose faith. Feel the acomplishment of preserving your true bliss--HOME--you still have a home and family!! HE is not and never was the energyy behind a home--you made that work and told yourself many lies to preserve it--you put an all or nothing tag on home. Nancy you are enought to make a family and home--any man will just be the iceing on that perfect yummy cake YOU baked. Enjoy your abundance! Be gratefull---so grateful you are not him and you got out before he took it all down the drain. BLESSINGS! STAY OUT OF THE PAST!!? enjoy the PRESENT--it is all any one really has1
Dear Blmoon, I am so very grateful for my family and my home. It is all alot of work to keep together alone, but I love it and I am so proud of my boys. Ty has finally turned a corner and loves me and shows me he does, that took along time, I think he wanted someone to blame, and since I was so down it was easy.
I guess I let seeing Ron get to me as I have been having a hard time sleeping and when I do the dreams are crazy.
I pray he gets the help he needs so he can at least try harder to be a dad to my boys. A part of me is glad he stays away, but thats not fair and I know it.
The holidays are hard because I work retail and people get crazy and rude, but at least everything at home is calm to return to at the end of the day.
I will be making dinner for about 15 people on Thanksgiving, I always open the door to the boys friends, alot of love here that day.
I am sure Ron misses our holidays, but feel he drinks them away instead of thinking about them.
I told you about the man I flirted with, well he was in court with us and someone was putting a restraining order on him, so not a good idea.
I had a man from my past get my number from a friend and he was calling and texting me asking me out ect..., then he came in my store and saw me, and he stopped, wow did that make me feel special.
I feel like I am doomed to be alone, I turn 53 in a couple of weeks and I am afraid.
Wow--that's kndunny!! And just how synchronicity works--what were the odds of that same guy being in court that same day!!1 And I remember how you thought there was something wrong with you when he seemed to you to have been turned off by your friendliness and you felt embarressed1 Do you see now how when things bug us we have a choice to either think badly about ourselves or just trust that there are other possabilities. In reality you dodged a bullit with that one and actually got blessed. Thank god he got shy--but really I think he sensed the power in you and he was looking more for a doormat or needy type he could control. He is insecure--I believe that was the vibe off of him I gave you back then--that he was insecure. Unfortunetly it's the insecure ones that end up as stalkers who can't let go or are so possessive and jelouse they never trust their mates You are very guided Nancy and spirit does show you things--that's how it is for me too. Psychic people get a lot of synchronicity. 53 was shocking scary for me too! It's just such a shock to suddenly think of being old---and your body messes with you. I think it is mostly because we see age as we did as kids--our grandmas seemed older as if a woman turned older and had to dress and behave a certein way--but really now it is very different--we have so many powerfull women who prove life after 60 is full of gifts and can be still s exy. Our generation has broken the mold--just as we did in the 60's changed tradition we age different as well. I just saw the WHO in concert and it was as good as 1973 and these guys are 67!!! II hate the physical part of fighting aging but really it is so freeing--you'll see!!! You are wiser and you do not put up with c rap after 50---you speak up--and know who you are and what you want or do not want. Happy thanksgiving!!
WEll it has been awhile since I last posted, didn't want to sound whiney and sad, but that is how its been.
Ever since the court date and seeing him, I have had vivid dreams of him almost every night. In my dreams he is strong and handsom and he loves me, he acts like none of this happened and we are fine. I find myself scared but excited by his attention and then I wake up.
Drew and I have been fighting also as he doesn't get his role as the man of the housr. I ask him to help with bill becasuse he is 26 and lives here, and makes the same as I do.
He has a new truck, and Iphone and goes out all the time, but never has money to help me at all.
His girlfriend has been staying here too much, I said it was okay once in a while and it turned into every night.'
She doesn't pay a cent or lift a finger and uses all my things like she is my kid.
I explained that to Drew and he promised to help more, but never did.
Yesterday I asked him to put up Christmas lights and he got mad and ask why I expect him to do the things Ron used to do, he said he left you not me you do it.
Over the last week he has thrown that in my face many times and it hurts so bad.
My back is out and I have had 2 bad panic attacks this week and I don't knw what to do.
I am on vacation and so bored and lonely.
I don't think I can take much more, where is my strenght, I pray every night and thank God for all I have and beg for some guidence, please help me.
Oh Nancy! Welcome to the world of imature tetestarone sons. As psychic as I am, I feel guilty answering this one as I have not always been my best with this one either . The reason is because we both have a weakness for HOME. It is OUR golden agenda wether others participate or not and I feel your pain. And even the best of sons can be horribly cruel in their blind immaturity--all mouth and no wisdom and all I can tell you is you have to see him as a man--God help me on that one but in the end it will be forced on you so just draw your boundries now or it will be worse later. ONLY help a child man who IS grateful and if he is NOT he needs to get his gratefulness some where else. Your sons may or may not go through a phase of blaming you for all their issues. I had three who didn't but one that did and unfortunetly I spent more energy trying to please him. Do not do that. It is hard not to be hurt and the reality is you must detach from an abusive child and yes he is being abusive Nancy--and very disrespectful. This is one of those brave times of standing your truth and waiting it out as the payoff comes later. Consider only what makes you happy--if putting up Christmas is more pain than joy just skip it. Take a vacation for Christmas. Your son is playing the entitlement card with you. He feels his home is your home because he has not made that transition yet and also he feels you are profiting from his father by having a family. Of course that is childish. I have already been through all that in and out and putting up with girlfriends--I gave them all room to grow but sometimes one child does not and you must show them the door---and only let them back when their attitude is adjusted--life will do what you can not. Be prepared to suffer the hurt of having your child not like you for awhile but truth is more than being friends we as parents MUST be unpopular to help them. Your man child must respect YOUR home--it is yours Nancy. If they leave dirty dishes let them stack up. If they refuse to buy food or treat you to a meal stop shopping. Let the cuboards go bare while you eat out.Put a lock on the laundry door. Do not be surprised if his father has not fueled his entitlement notion. The only way to deal with your son is to NOT get emotional in front of him--save that for behind closed doors. You must be the father too here--and a father would not be weak about your son's attitude. In fact a good father would get a yes sir! No free rides! A home demands care and respect---if your son hates the idea of your job list then sit down and say OK you tell ME then what you can do? But you MUST do something. A man does not let his mother go to work and take care of a home and coddle a grown child. He must make a list of chores and choose bills he will pay. And he must pay rent even if it is less than half. Tell him with detached no negotiating strength and walk away. Give him a move out date if he does not oblige. And never let him use his dad to let off hurt. You must not take it personal. He is immature. If he leaves--good as the reality of getting a place and paying REAL bills will change his attitude. You will be fine Nancy--adult children are no easy deal---you are not alone!
WEll today is my 53rd birthday, I had dreams all night last night about Ron. In my last dream before waking he took me to our favorite resterant for my bday, we ordered, sat outside like we always did and when the food was ready he said, I eat here too much I dn't want this and got up to leave. It broke my heart and made my morning very hard.
Drew and I are trying to be okay, but he still doesn't get his role, or why I get angry with him.
He thinks we are equals and has a hard time being told anything.
Because it so close to Christmas I am letting it go for now.
I still said no more girlfriend overnights, but I will let the rest go for awhile.
Next month is the big court date we have been waiting for and hopefully it will put an end to my hope that he magically changes back into my best friend and tries to fix the damage he has caused.
I have no real reson other than you to believe he will ever want anything from me, and it still hurts to be tossed awy so completely.
So my friend can you and spirit give me a big birthday reading and some hope for a better year to come please.
Well we got through Christmas, it was actually nice, the whole famiy got together for breakfast and then later the boys and I came home and had our favorite dinner, nice and quiet.
Drew went to his gorlfriends families house and that wasa first for me, but I was okay.
New years Day Ron's family is having there Christmas together and they have invited the boys, but it looks like only Drew and his girlfiend will be going again, as the other 2 are busy or at least that is what they say.
I have been having very vivid dreams lately and most of them are about Ron and in a few he is on his knee asking me to marry him and then on Christmas eve it was her notm me he asked, and I get the feeling that is true.
@ weeks from today is our big court date, where I will finally find out what will happen.
We found out last werek that he cashed out his life insurance policy and he was told he had it keep it, so another bad thing.
Do you see any good coming my way?
I didn'y get the good news on Christmas like you promised.
Nancy! You just described a nice Christmas!!! You had a FAMILY christmas. When I told you Christmas would be a nice surprise you were deeply depressed consumed with feeling alone and feeling alone as if your family had ended.Your preocupation with Ron is just a way out of dealing with who YOU are. What is your role in this world--you mourn for family, a marriage, dwell on your sons but where is Nancy in this world. Maybe you are not really who you thought you were . What DID you want for christmas good news? Ron to show up at your door and get on his knees and beg you to stop the divorce and he was just confused? Your lack of finding joy without him or a man is very much sad--what satisfying joy do you have just being you? I am sorry, I can not help you right now. RON is not real in your head--you choose what to see in him and forget too easily the bad. If he did ask her to marry lord how sad for her. Why would you be jelouse--Nancy bottom line is you do not love yourself and knowing his issues his illness and his character you still think she got your prize? He is a LOVE object for you. And you were a object of normalcy for him. You did not see him he did not see you. He does regret leaving you but has no control over himself NONE! I never told you that you two would suddenly have a new marriage. He has had several oportunities to get help and he will have a few more. I told you he would regret and be sorry BUT most likely it would not change a thing for you--I saw you eventually having another man with a offer to be committed to you about the same time Ron may be ready for help and I told you you would make a desicion most likely for the other man--you always said you could not see that. Ron's next 6 months will make him or break him. Rock bottom as it gets. He will lose everything. Lucjky you will not go down with his ship. Had you not fought so hard with this divorce YOU would soon be on the street. Your inability to be greatful is not good. Stop focusing on loss and start an abundance list. You want a RON that does not exhist please it is what it is and you lie to yourself as much as he lies to himself---two people cannot remain tied together with out some common bond of attachment. You had those dreams because you are not being greatful for all you have--you still think yes but I do not have Ron--yes but She has Ron. Nancy you are lucky, the angels and your guides have been very attentive with you and I have given you EXCELLENT guidence on their behalf but this is where I have to tell you you need counseling in a earthly way. Please find a good therapist. I cannot burden myself with doing the work for you. It's time for you to get help. You need help with why you would putt all your eggs in the Ron basket. It's going on four years, grieving time is over!!! Stop thinking of Ron--just stop it or get help for your addiction. And help from someone who can help you understand Why you are addicted to pain and selfdepreciation. As for predictions---you will get your divorce and he will lose everything. He will have seriouse health issues--the near death kind.. His girlfriend? I see violence around her and as well her life could end very tradgicaly. I rarely give these predictions but spirit says it loudly, both of them are in a very dark place and their lifestyle is dangerouse. Both of them have angels and guides and a different path can change things but it's not likely---Ron has more of a chance than her. I see her as almost repeating ron's mother's fate. Please see a therapist to help you through this next phase--it is a loving gesture for yourself. Happy NEW year. BLESSINGS!
well I wasn't going to reply, that was a bit mean, but I understand where you are coming from and wanted to let you know I get it, Ireally do.
I have been getting on my knees every night before bed and thanking God and all my guides for all I have. For my home and my family and my job. For helping and guiding me throught this mess I have made of my life.
I am not waiting for Ron or any man to magically fix things for me, only for this court stuff to be over so I will know where I stand financially.
All I really need in this life I have 10 fold, and am very thankfull.
I understand about councelling, but can't afford it right now and I think I have done pretty well concidering.
I am not the walking wounded and you my friend are the only person I let see any of my pain.
I figured you knew anyway so why hid it.
I do not wish for harm to come to either of them, only that I can find peace., and I am almost there.
I made a few resolutions last night and off I go into the new year. Blessings to you dear friend, sorry if I bother you